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(DF) Curiosity Discussion

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11/1/2014 18:15:50   
Grandpa Oz
How We Roll Winner
Nov14


 Curiosity

Here's the beginning of a storyline I'm going to write on every now and then.
It's nothing overly serious, but it will not be pure comedy either.

I welcome all comments :)



< Message edited by Grandpa Oz -- 4/8/2015 14:46:53 >
DF AQW  Post #: 1
11/4/2014 14:13:49   
Grandpa Oz
How We Roll Winner
Nov14


 Quest 3.II
This turned randomly dark :|

(I hope double-posting is ok here, it happens in the other threads as well)



< Message edited by Grandpa Oz -- 12/19/2014 12:21:30 >
DF AQW  Post #: 2
11/4/2014 15:24:38   
  Dwelling Dragonlord

ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L


 You may post in your own thread to announce updates to your story. Rules can be found here.

As for the story, I have no commentary other than that it looked like a Clashening-styled Saga until I read the fourth quest.
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 3
11/4/2014 15:34:45   
Grandpa Oz
How We Roll Winner
Nov14


 Ok, thanks for the reply. I missed the highlighted underlined part of the rules somehow >.>

Well, I will be going back to the mad science part, but I needed these bacteria to be intelligent for later on, so I thought I might as well flesh them out a bit ^^
DF AQW  Post #: 4
11/8/2014 18:38:58   
Grandpa Oz
How We Roll Winner
Nov14


 Quest 3.III
Lots of gloomy monologue and horrible conflict resolution.

Now back to science.



< Message edited by Grandpa Oz -- 12/19/2014 12:21:46 >
DF AQW  Post #: 5
11/27/2014 6:41:05   
Grandpa Oz
How We Roll Winner
Nov14


 Quest 4
Back to science. If anyone reads it, I'd appreciate a comment now before I get to the fun part.



< Message edited by Grandpa Oz -- 12/19/2014 12:20:40 >
DF AQW  Post #: 6
12/16/2014 12:30:23   
Grandpa Oz
How We Roll Winner
Nov14


 Quest 5
This is getting so random >.> But it's fun to write ^^



< Message edited by Grandpa Oz -- 12/19/2014 12:20:02 >
DF AQW  Post #: 7
12/18/2014 15:31:49   
  Dwelling Dragonlord

ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L


 I must say that I liked this latest addition the best so far. I particularly liked the idea of why Adam was doing all of this, though the "not in particular"-card is hardly an argument, seeing most magic-users have experience in multiple schools of magic.
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 8
1/18/2015 12:28:38   
Grandpa Oz
How We Roll Winner
Nov14


 Quest 6 is up!
DF AQW  Post #: 9
3/3/2015 11:16:26   
Grandpa Oz
How We Roll Winner
Nov14


 Quest 7!

(I hope someone reads this ^^)
DF AQW  Post #: 10
3/30/2015 18:07:49   
Grandpa Oz
How We Roll Winner
Nov14


 Quest 8.

I finally have the plot where I want it.
DF AQW  Post #: 11
3/31/2015 14:49:11   
Alm Nullamors
Member

Makes me wish this were real. Nice job so far.
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 12
4/7/2015 14:44:20   
Grandpa Oz
How We Roll Winner
Nov14


 ^ Glad that you like it :) Any thoughts on the content? I'm still not really sure how much to balance the seriousness...

Also, Quest 9!
The finale for the first part of the story.
DF AQW  Post #: 13
4/25/2015 19:20:43   
Azan
Member

Hello there!

I wanted to read your story for quite a long time, and it's very good! I really enjoyed it, from the beginning to the end. I especially liked the balance between seriousness and jokes/funny moments!

First of all, the first quest was very funny. The way the Hero acts is really credible, and the cute little cauliflower turning into a giant killing machine made me laugh! I especially love the way the dragon is mentioned at the end. It really feels like the Hero is referring to the dragon as a helper and companion, not just a pet. Big thumbs up for that!

I just love your second quest! It feels like the Bloodwork quest in the Blood and Roses storyline... only written before the Bloodwork quest! It'd be nice to have a short description of what "???" at the end is though. A bacteria?

The fifth quest was also very good. I just love the way Adam is trying to find an explanation for the Hero never dying, that made me laugh.

In the sixth quest, there's a weird phrasing from Death. "I request from you - because remember, you owe me one - dispose of this threat." I'm also not sure there are Dravir near Betrubung Swamp... the last we've heard of them, they still were in the Freedom Camp, not near Sulen'Eska. We haven't seen any Dravir in Betrubung so far...
I'm also not sure how Death being the quest-giver could be implemented, since, y'know, the quest are given in Serenity's Inn... and I'm not sure Death could just sit there unnoticed in the Inn. Maybe a simple object (like the chest in the Locker or the orb who replaced MS) could take Adam's place... I'm also not sure how Guardian Kain would consider the Rose fighting back the undead a "problem". In fact, it was about time the Rose took care of an undead invasion. xD

Introducing this Gararara NPC is also a very good idea, thumbs up for that. Like the Clawkin and Dravir, it's nice to see NPCs made from Archeonauts!

Your last quest was very good. I'm definitely looking forward to see what exactly happened and where everyone went! (oh, and also, "Icecream" is the best. Codeword. Ever. For making things blow up.)

As a general comment, congrats on your grammar, punctuation, and overall lack of orthographic mistakes. It's great to read a story that's well-written like this!
Post #: 14
4/26/2015 12:07:44   
Grandpa Oz
How We Roll Winner
Nov14


 Thanks for the detailed comment!

On Second Quest: The ??? at the end of the second quest is Viridans from the third Quest. His "name-tag" is written in the same colour, so I thought that'd be enough. I'd like to keep the ??? though for the dramatic effect.

On Sixth Quest: Good points. I changed some things accordingly. I'll keep Death there though *cough*


< Message edited by Grandpa Oz -- 4/26/2015 12:08:10 >
DF AQW  Post #: 15
5/10/2015 14:02:49   
Grandpa Oz
How We Roll Winner
Nov14


 Quest 10.
The second part of the story begins with it, and will describe the journey home.
DF AQW  Post #: 16
5/10/2015 16:39:42   
Azan
Member

quote:

<Character>: Did Doctor When appear?
Gararara: Who?
<Character>: When.
Gararara: What?

10/10 for this dialog. xD

I'm looking forward to what happens next! Exploring Sil's past seems like a very interesting idea!
Post #: 17
8/31/2015 11:44:06   
Grandpa Oz
How We Roll Winner
Nov14


 Yay, I finally updated: Quest 11
DF AQW  Post #: 18
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