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RE: Immeral, the Story of an Aura Reader-Discussion

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2/7/2012 16:43:40   
Shadow Ravena
Paladin of Shadows


 I will agree with DD, the story seemed to wander around confusedly. The overall plot is hard to tell (if its still the intro, thats just fine, if not, an issue); and doesn't seem to be going much of anywhere. Its almost a slice-of-life story, which is just fine, but at times seems to be a typical fantasy (main difference is plot, the former has none, the latter does). The rest of the story is fine, even good, but that part needs a some support.
AQ DF AQW Epic  Post #: 26
2/8/2012 14:25:00   
  Gingkage
Wolf Rider


 Sorry for the confusion, but I needed to transition through the rest of the war so I could move on. Everyone has a chapter or two that he or she isn't happy with, and this last one is mine.
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 27
4/25/2012 4:58:21   
  Gingkage
Wolf Rider


 New chapter's up. Sorry that took so long. Had absolutely zero inspiration.

SPOILER!

In this chapter, I mention that Therril, Alanna, and Melissa share their stories. Melissa hasn't written one yet to my knowledge, but if you want Therril and Alanna's stories, here they are.

The Legacy of Therril Oreb and Loremaster

< Message edited by Gingkage -- 4/25/2012 5:12:13 >
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 28
4/25/2012 10:38:24   
  Dwelling Dragonlord

ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L


 @Ginkage: Will you keep their backstories as canon? I know for instance Ginkage is a character in Therril Oreb's story.

< Message edited by Dwelling Dragonlord -- 4/25/2012 10:39:15 >
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 29
4/25/2012 15:39:25   
  Gingkage
Wolf Rider


 I alluded to thier backstories, but I'm not actually going to do anything story-wise with them. The Gingkage in Therril's backstory is in no way related to Immeral in mine. Not sure if this answers your question, but it's the best I've got for an answer.
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 30
5/23/2012 4:23:20   
  Gingkage
Wolf Rider


 Holy Wasabi, fourteen chapters! Enjoy.
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 31
5/23/2012 4:33:41   
  Dwelling Dragonlord

ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L
quote:

Whens she saw them, they were bound in such a way as to not be able to use any of their abilities.


When

The ending was a bit strange though, getting them to be captured only for them to escape to the place they had been captured before. Is there a specific reason as to why Alanna teleported them to that place and not a town?
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 32
5/23/2012 5:04:34   
  Gingkage
Wolf Rider


 Thanks for pointing out the typo. And the reason she teleported them there was because she was panicking so she wasn't thinking straight. She teleported them to the first place she could think of that was away from there. And they were never supposed to remain in that cave for very long. This chapter was mainly to introduce Syndrina.

As a further note, Alanna didn't teleport them to the place they were captured at. She teleported them two days away. I might not have explained it well, but the capture took about a day.

< Message edited by Gingkage -- 6/8/2012 3:24:37 >
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 33
9/2/2012 17:06:45   
  Gingkage
Wolf Rider


 Been a while since I was here. O.O But I managed to force my way through the brick wall of writer's block to give you chapter 14 15. Enjoy. Don't know when the next chapter will come.

Fifteen chapters, good grief. I need to come up with a plot so that this thing stops rambling. It's HUGE. O.O

< Message edited by Gingkage -- 9/2/2012 17:08:36 >
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 34
9/2/2012 17:25:39   
  Dwelling Dragonlord

ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L


 *The cloaked figure appears in front of you, startling you for a brief moment until you notice it's only the librarian.*

quote:

“You don’t look sometimes look like dinner,” Therril retorted.

quote:

Seeing that everyone but Melissa was settling down to sleep, and being herself exhausted,, she pulled out her sleeping gear and rested.

Wolf Riders sound a bit like Spirit Wardens and now you're in your own story.

I myself find it hard to succesfully write about so many people on the same side, I'd have to plunge your clan into chaos before I could write an interesting story about it.

*The cloaked figure returns to the shady halls of the library.*
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 35
9/2/2012 17:45:06   
  Gingkage
Wolf Rider


 Fixed, thanks. And I guess I'll take it as a compliment that I can write about people on the same side. And how do Wolf Riders sound like Spirit Wardens?
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 36
9/2/2012 17:52:05   
  Dwelling Dragonlord

ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L


 @Ginkage: Such powerful individuals, I mean. I would need to find the Beacons a very overpowered character for them to be challenged and such things I dislike.

As for the Wolf Riders. From what I gather, Spirit Wardens are very closely connected to their partners and then you have the fact they seem to attack with their spirit(form)s which hints at a "shared knowledge".
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 37
9/2/2012 18:01:05   
  Gingkage
Wolf Rider


 The shared knowledge between wolf and wolf rider is because of the bond they share. I highly doubt I'll be able to go into detail about it in this story (though if I can make the parts I hate go away, I can write about it in a different L&L). But the bond between wolf and wolf rider is, in a sense, spiritual, but it was a bond forged of magic. It's a kind of 'shared spirit' but I hadn't meant to imply that it was in any way like that of Spirit Wardens.

As for the Beacons of Hope, they will be taking a sort of 'side seat.' There will be scenes where they're spotlighted, but really this is Immeral's story. The challenges will be for her.
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 38
9/15/2012 19:16:47   
  Gingkage
Wolf Rider


 So... I suppose this counts as a filler? Maybe? It's up, either way.

As a side note, I almost wish I'd waited until tomorrow to post it. Posting chapter sixteen on September sixteenth would be very fitting, IMO.

< Message edited by Gingkage -- 9/15/2012 19:18:40 >
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 39
9/16/2012 6:11:02   
  Dwelling Dragonlord

ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L


 @Ginkage:

quote:

“Is that what you were looking for?”

Was

quote:

Immeral nodded and, keeping an eye on Gingakge to make sure she didn’t fall, they all walked back to the campsite.



On another note, is this your class?
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 40
9/16/2012 10:11:06   
  Gingkage
Wolf Rider


 Thanks. The corrections have been made. As for the class, while the skills themselves don't apply, the basic idea of it sounds about right.
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 41
9/22/2012 18:25:57   
  Gingkage
Wolf Rider


 Since Immeral's story gives me almost zero inspiration, and Coaxoch's was begging for expansion, I'm going to try and juggle two stories at once. Let's see how well this turns out...
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 42
9/22/2012 18:52:31   
  Dwelling Dragonlord

ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L


 Okay then. Care to tell us when Coaxoch's story will play? Is it after the introduction?
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 43
9/22/2012 18:56:28   
  Gingkage
Wolf Rider


 Sorry, Dwelling. But I don't understand the question.
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 44
9/22/2012 19:03:15   
  Dwelling Dragonlord

ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L


 @Ginkage: You posted the introduction of your character, you know up to the point where she meets Artix. Will the story you be writing be about events that transpire after she meets Artix?
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 45
9/22/2012 19:10:41   
  Gingkage
Wolf Rider


 Oh! Yes. They will be taking place after this introduction. But there will (I hope) be one or two flashback scenes which go into detail about her childhood and maybe into some of her experiences in the home of the assassins.
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 46
9/22/2012 19:47:41   
Shadow Ravena
Paladin of Shadows


 A new story, good.

Well I must say, I am interged with this one. A cold hearted assassin is a hard character to write, but you seem to pull it off well. The story so far seems well-constructed, not too much or too little detail. I will say that the jumps between past and present are a tad jarring (might add more spaces between if not the page break). Otherwise, interested to see where this story goes!

One random question- the mark phrase, where did you get it from? I have heard it used like that before but cannot recall where.
AQ DF AQW Epic  Post #: 47
9/23/2012 21:12:01   
  Gingkage
Wolf Rider


 I have no idea. That bit really wrote itself and that word was the one that the story wanted, I guess. It fits, I suppose.
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 48
9/25/2012 13:11:57   
Glais
Member

A new story, lerfect time for me to start up then! I think I may have read a bit of your old story before, but I no longer remember the plot sadly.
DF MQ  Post #: 49
9/25/2012 18:56:19   
  Gingkage
Wolf Rider


 Glai, just between you and me... *looks around warily* now don't tell anyone this but... *another glance around* Immeral's story doesn't have a plot. It has a vague sense of direction, and that's about the best I've got so far.
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 50
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