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RE: Felicity -A Tale of Thieves- OOC (AQ)

 
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5/6/2014 15:39:50   
black knight 1234567
Member

Hmm..I dunno, I wouldn't mind collaborating with you on this. Sure, why not?

< Message edited by black knight 1234567 -- 5/6/2014 15:47:20 >
AQ DF MQ AQW  Post #: 26
5/6/2014 22:39:10   
TJByrum
Member

@BK: yeah, so basically Kailan was on a job for the thieves guild, but in the midst of it ran across my character, Jack. The two was about to fight, but were forced to flee. Kailan was impressed and invited Jack to join the guild.
DF AQW  Post #: 27
5/7/2014 3:39:01   
black knight 1234567
Member

Sounds good to me. What do you have in mind for this when we start the RP, or is it a neat piece of history?
AQ DF MQ AQW  Post #: 28
5/7/2014 9:32:42   
TJByrum
Member

I figure Kailan will be Jack's 'gateway' into the guild. You know when someone invites you somewhere you tend to stick with that particular person before testing the waters and joining the group as a whole? Sort of like that. I'm about to edit Jack's personality and will post it in this here post.

This is my new personality:
quote:

Jack is a thief through and through, but the guy has a code. He only steals from people that can afford it, and he only steals when it's necessary. He's fairly friendly to most people, having met lots of travelers when he lived in Dust. Jack does not, however, like wealthier folks. While not all wealthy people are bad or snobbish, Jack has had quite a few runs with some wealthier folks in his past and he has grown to dislike them to a great degree. He cares deeply about his close friends and will do anything to support them. Jack sees the thieves guild in Alavey as 'just another group of miscreants', much like his own group in Dust. While he doesn't dismiss the existence of Wisps or the Council, he does not think the organization is some sort of 'ultimate guild for thieves'. He understands the thieves here are very skilled thieves and he may seek to learn from them in the meantime.


And I added Kailan's name into the History.

< Message edited by TJByrum -- 5/7/2014 9:43:05 >
DF AQW  Post #: 29
5/7/2014 12:32:11   
black knight 1234567
Member

And done. I quite like this character, any adjustments I need to make/suggestions, just let me know.
Also TJ, added the part about him and Jack to the history. I assumed Jack is like really new to the guild, so I kept it last like its a recent even. If not tell me and I can edit it.
AQ DF MQ AQW  Post #: 30
5/13/2014 12:49:01   
TJByrum
Member

quote:

Original:
I read the entire history and I am in agreement with everything. Puts me in mind of Batman - if Batman was a cynical thief that is. And yeah, Kailan and Jack's interaction was pretty recent. When the RP starts I am planning on having Jack be a 'new member' to the guild.

It's funny how Kailan was once (or still is) wealthy, because Jack actually dislikes the wealthy due to the problems he had with them in the town of Dust. It'd be interesting to see how a relationship plays out between them, especially if Jack doesn't realize Kailan is/was wealthy at first.


I sure hope this didn't just flop over and die. :( Then again, I think this is the time where people who are in school start testing... right?

I've been thinking of what I want Serah to look like. She's a sort of Plain-Jane type of person. Not necessarily attractive, but also not unattractive. I think dirty-blonde hair, a slightly rough/rugged appearance due to her lifestyle, and a slim body would suit her just fine. I hope for Jack to see her at least once throughout the course of the roleplay, but at a later time (obviously). First I want Jack to experience the guild and realize he could probably have a better life here.

Also, I am always up for collaboration, most specifically conversations. I'd be happy to do some back-and-forth PMing to concoct a genuine conversation between Jack and another player-character. I'm always open for that option if anyone else is up to it.
DF AQW  Post #: 31
5/13/2014 14:47:40   
Starstruck
Member

It's ok it's ok, I'm working on finishing up Gen. Yaps to fit the setting and then I'll be right here.

It seems Felicity hasn't started yet. Why not post in The Tempest instead?
DF MQ  Post #: 32
5/13/2014 15:06:37   
Legendium
Member

So I still don't really know whether or not my character's been accepted. If not, I can always use Jem since Ryu said that the bio was fine enough as it is.

@Star

I would, but Moogle is gone now, and I can't really do anything at all.
DF MQ Epic  Post #: 33
5/13/2014 16:18:03   
TJByrum
Member

@Starstruck: I don't think my partners are active in that RP, and I would join someone else but I'd need to be able to focus for probably 10+ minutes and I am not able to do that right now. Is The Tempest suppose to be the equivalent to Yulgar's Inn? If so I may consider scrapping my current character and starting over if that is allowed, then try to propose a party to seek out... something, I don't know.
DF AQW  Post #: 34
5/13/2014 17:08:31   
Eukara Vox
Legendary AdventureGuide!


I know that Ryu has been putting in time to finalise stuff with Felicity between his finals work, papers and tests. Have patience. Real life takes precedence over this any day.
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 35
5/13/2014 20:52:49   
TJByrum
Member

@Eukara: Oh, no, I wasn't trying to rush anyone, I was just trying to see what everyone's current status was. I don't think anyone should ever put RPing as a top priority because it's just a minor hobby we should enjoy from time to time. Also, I was reading Synthra's bio (I'm going to try and read everyone's bio to get familiar with everyone) and I'm not sure you put whether or not she was an Associate or Partner. Also I was wondering, other than physical appearance, what is a Vartai?
DF AQW  Post #: 36
5/14/2014 9:51:41   
Eukara Vox
Legendary AdventureGuide!


Caught that did you? I wondered who would actually read her bio close enough to catch that I never indicated what "rank" she had. Given that she is "invisible" to most, as that is her specialty, her rank wasn't given. Considering her skill in her respective area, she could be a partner. Given her age, I am sure the older partners would scoff at the young woman given that very rank. A conundrum, really.


As to what a Vartai is, the first thing you should know is that they are a very secretive, very private clan of individuals. The second thing you should know is that they are draconic, considered by some, half-bloods, by others, an abomination. Either way, they generally keep to themselves, and as her bio states, outside love/relationships aren't exactly acceptable. Because they've been hunted, abused and harmed, they tend to seclude themselves. They are well known as hunters and fighters, have magic but a controlled magic. They are considered highly intelligent and their social structure is complex.


Senthra knows her heritage a bit more than she wishes. Mostly, because, that knowledge solidifies just how quickly her life would be in danger if her true nature was ever revealed.
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 37
5/14/2014 17:33:35   
TJByrum
Member

@Eukara: You also say her parents were found by Vartai huntsmen, who I assume was hunted down due to their forbidden relationship. I would assume she's also being hunted by the same Vartai due to her being an 'abomination'. If so, do you plan to ever bring that subject up at a later time?
DF AQW  Post #: 38
5/14/2014 22:46:44   
Eukara Vox
Legendary AdventureGuide!


That is entirely up to Ryu. I tend to give my GMs full freedom to take anything I have in my bios, or perhaps not outright said, to use at any time.

Introspective stuff is always a huge part of my posting. There are many aspects of her that will eventually make their ways into the life she will be living in the RP.
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 39
5/15/2014 9:03:59   
TJByrum
Member

@Eukara: Good, I like it when History affects the character. I like it even more when Histories affect other characters. I was hoping for parts of Jack's history to resurface later on in the RP, although it's not nearly as deep as, say, a group of Vartai huntsmen. Jack's history revolved more around petty street gangs that were divided because of social status (keeping with the theme of Felicity's main sources of conflict).
DF AQW  Post #: 40
5/15/2014 15:36:47   
Legendium
Member

@TJ

Well, my character's history should have a relatively big impact on whatever's going to happen. Especially if someone sees through his disguise and recognizes who he really is. That should cause some very interesting dialogue.
DF MQ Epic  Post #: 41
5/17/2014 9:27:33   
TJByrum
Member

@Legendium: I kept on reading Jem Stone's bio before I finally ended up reading Janos' bio. It made more sense then. While I don't think my current character (Jack) would have a problem with Janos' cowardice in that battle, it would have sure made an extremely interesting conversation with one of my 'Torik/Joric/Toric' characters; they tend to be battle-hardened warriors of honor and virtue and would have had some serious problems with Janos' actions.

Anyway, I think in the meantime I will edit my History and revise the character sheet.
DF AQW  Post #: 42
5/24/2014 23:56:20   
Ryu Viranesh
Member

All right! Various things now taken care of and inspiration restored, let me actually get to work on going through this thread. There are a fair amount of bios which I need to go through and read-over, so I'll be taking those on one at a time in this post and then answering any remaining questions at the end. So, without any further ado, let's get to work.

Legendium: As I've said previously, I like the relationship that Janos has found himself in with the Guild. Even though the buildup to this situation can be seen as somewhat cliche, it does provide for a rather intriguing give-and-take between them. Although, given Janos' almost fanatical hatred of the noble class, there might have been more take then give in their relations (we can discuss this in greater detail, should you desire it, or you can just trust me to come up with something interesting). As a note about his personality, I'll assume there will be moments where this hairpin balance you've described will be shaken, since it seems unlikely that he'd be able to constantly keep those two halves in perfect equilibrium. That'll make him ... fun for both of us, I feel. On the whole, I like this character a lot and feel that they'll be a great addition to the world that I've designed. As an additional plus, he's well balanced and fits into the exact power bracket that I've envisioned for most characters. So, I suppose that what I'm saying is that you can consider Janos to be Approved.

andres_950: 'Faint' is a very well put-together character from beginning to end - her appearance is well described and her personality and history are kept consistently interesting throughout their length. This said, in order to make sure that her magical abilities remain balanced in terms of the rest of her capabilities, I'd tie them both to scrutiny and focus; that is, they can "fall apart" if they're either scrutinized too much (excluding the less ambitious variants of the third) or if her focus falters (likewise excluding the aforementioned bits of the third). Or, of course, if someone happened to know magic well enough, it would certainly be possible to pick up the telltale traces of what she's doing. Still, that's not exactly the most common of things in this setting. Of note, there is one bit of ... objectionable content that I'll be PMing you about removing from your bio due to certain standards the boards uphold. Beyond that, there's nothing really to stop be from approving her though (though you DO need to clarify whether her position within the Guild is as an Associate or a Partner), since she seems like a well-thought out character that would be a lot of fun to play. I can't wait to see her in action here. Approved.

black knight 1234567: All right, let's start from the top. There are some problems with this bio. Firstly, 140 lbs. is actually somewhat underweight for that height, so it would indeed be considered to be kind of scrawny, so you might want to increase that a good bit (I'd say minimum 30 pounds) if you want a stockier build. Secondly, skill-wise, Kailan appears to be good at quite a bit, perhaps too much so. Combat isn't an extremely major part of this RP, and in most (not all) cases, if it happens, it probably means that one or a group of you have messed up, so not being great at it doesn't really equal a balanced character in this roleplay. You need to consider what exactly you want Kailan's role within this RP to be and build on him so that he's best able to fill it. Thirdly, and perhaps most importantly, there's one particular inconsistency within Kailan's history that I just can't be convinced is plausible as it is right now, that being when he suddenly leaves his home and wealth behind to follow his seeming love of theft. Even were he legitimately obsessed with the activity ... I can't quite grasp why the leaving is a necessity. You need to expand on this moment more so that there's a greater consistency to his story as a whole. Lastly, you might want to run a grammatical comb over the bio since some of the run-on sentences can make it ... fairly difficult to read at times, and given how important a tool a bio is to the rest of an RP's players, it should be as easy to read as is possible. If you can address these four particular areas, then I think everything should be in order for me to approve you (I'd like to see the changes first though).

TJByrum: While this bio isn't too bad, there are still a couple of details that are worth addressing/some things which need clarification. Firstly, this line: "While not trained professionally to fight with a knife, he's quick on the draw and deliver some severe injuries on anyone who attempts to harm him." This ... really doesn't make much sense, since you'd kind of need to be pretty darn well trained in order to do that kind of thing to even an unprepared person, much less "anyone". Combat really isn't a big thing in this RP, I cannot stress that more. Secondly, in the first post of this OOC thread I pretty explicitly stated that the vast bulk of those displaced by the rebellion found themselves going to the cities, which your history directly conflicts with by stating that "many peasants fled to Dust". This isn't going to work and needs to be changed (the events you've described can still occur on a smaller scale, but the town would not have blown up as you've described). Thirdly, I'd like you to clarify what you consider the difference between "professional thievery" and more commonplace thievery to be, as you refer to both more than once in your bio and it can be difficult to distinguish exactly what you mean. Lastly, you might want to consider grammar and some small details like how playing the knife game after the loss of even a bit of a finger might even be seen as "cheap" - can make for some interesting additional characterization. Just clean up the above details and I'll take another look.

That looks to be all for the moment - if you've any further questions, don't hesitate to ask!
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 43
5/25/2014 5:53:59   
black knight 1234567
Member

Fixed his skills, making him less gifted at pick pocketing and street level crime, and less at direct theft from a person, making him more of a ''crack the safe and retrieve the necklace while no one is around'' kind of thief.and more a big game player and also removed his ability to talk himself out of situations, felt it would be more in line with his history too, but I thought having him leave most of his responsibilities, his titles and the like behind makes it that much easier to thief around. Makes him more....low profile, in a way. And he just has no interest in all that position, he's just classic case of kleptomania. Plus when he isn't bound go governmental work, allows him room for expansion and all.

< Message edited by black knight 1234567 -- 5/25/2014 5:55:37 >
AQ DF MQ AQW  Post #: 44
5/25/2014 12:27:23   
TJByrum
Member

@Ryu Viranesh: I can change the wording to make it better. In regards to this line:
quote:

"While not trained professionally to fight with a knife, he's quick on the draw and deliver some severe injuries on anyone who attempts to harm him."

It just means he has never been trained or taught by anyone. He relies on self-experience to inflict very quick attacks to severely injure them. He isn't trained to fight with the knife, so he wouldn't be able to stand there and deflect attacks and whatnot. He'd just try to injure his opponent then flee. I will re-word it to make it make more sense though.
quote:

Combat really isn't a big thing in this RP, I cannot stress that more.

Jack wasn't built around combat; he's only killed one person, but that was simply murder, nothing more. He's not trained in any sort of specialized combat except for what you'd find in a street-grown urchin who's trying to survive.
quote:

Secondly, in the first post of this OOC thread I pretty explicitly stated that the vast bulk of those displaced by the rebellion found themselves going to the cities, which your history directly conflicts with by stating that "many peasants fled to Dust". This isn't going to work and needs to be changed (the events you've described can still occur on a smaller scale, but the town would not have blown up as you've described).

Sorry, I just miss-worded this is all. I'll change it to where only a few peasants fled to Dust.
quote:

Thirdly, I'd like you to clarify what you consider the difference between "professional thievery" and more commonplace thievery to be, as you refer to both more than once in your bio and it can be difficult to distinguish exactly what you mean.

'Professional thievery' would be something akin to an actual Thieve's Guild. A group of people who have dedicated their lives to being masters of the night and train others to do the same. Commonplace thievery would be something like a beggar or street urchin would use; simply running into a building, grabbing valuables, and running out; there is no careful planning, no special abilities, nothing fancy, and nothing to flashy like you would see with someone from a Thieve's Guild. They're simply a thief, nothing more. I just wanted to make it evident that while Jack is a thief, he's not exactly a great ('professional') thief.
quote:

...like how playing the knife game after the loss of even a bit of a finger might even be seen as "cheap" - can make for some interesting additional characterization. Just clean up the above details and I'll take another look.

I'm not sure I'm reading this right. Are you wanting me to further explain the loss of half his finger or something else?

I'll try and see if I can't tidy up the history a bit more.
DF AQW  Post #: 45
5/25/2014 12:56:38   
Legendium
Member

quote:

Legendium: As I've said previously, I like the relationship that Janos has found himself in with the Guild. Even though the buildup to this situation can be seen as somewhat cliche, it does provide for a rather intriguing give-and-take between them. Although, given Janos' almost fanatical hatred of the noble class, there might have been more take then give in their relations (we can discuss this in greater detail, should you desire it, or you can just trust me to come up with something interesting). As a note about his personality, I'll assume there will be moments where this hairpin balance you've described will be shaken, since it seems unlikely that he'd be able to constantly keep those two halves in perfect equilibrium. That'll make him ... fun for both of us, I feel. On the whole, I like this character a lot and feel that they'll be a great addition to the world that I've designed. As an additional plus, he's well balanced and fits into the exact power bracket that I've envisioned for most characters. So, I suppose that what I'm saying is that you can consider Janos to be Approved.


Yeah, I often fall into cliches sometimes, but hey, they are cliches for a reason.

And there will most definitely be moments when Janos' two personalities get out of balance and end up ruining things. Like in the middle of a heist, he might go a bit over-board when knocking out a house-guard/noble. Like beating them senseless and continuing far after they're out like a light. The kind of thing that won't directly ruin a heist, but might jeopardize it, and definitely will make the other thieves a bit cautious around him. Same goes for the other side, he might start falling into despair and become completely uncooperative. So yeah, he's a bit of a wild card.
DF MQ Epic  Post #: 46
5/25/2014 13:02:48   
TJByrum
Member

@Legendium: Sometimes it can be hard to not use cliches. Most of my characters are variants of other characters, usually from history (variants of Roman Legionnaires and Viking Raiders are common for me) I think most of the stuff I am exposed to is compressed to the bottom of my mind, and then later they start coming up and I don't realize I'm always using cliches or 'borrowing' from someone else's work. I named a character in IoD 'Lordran Kalzar', and wouldn't you know it Lordran is the name of Dragon Age's setting.

< Message edited by TJByrum -- 5/25/2014 13:03:32 >
DF AQW  Post #: 47
5/26/2014 13:46:56   
black knight 1234567
Member

...Dragon Age's setting is Thedas, which literally translates to ''The Dragon Age Setting'' according to the developers, haha.
But yea, the thing is cliches aren't necessarily a bad thing aslong as you use them correctly and don't over do it, same with tropes in general really.
AQ DF MQ AQW  Post #: 48
5/26/2014 15:05:54   
Lazo
Member

TJ, you might be thinking about Dark Souls.
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 49
5/26/2014 16:34:29   
TJByrum
Member

Revised the History Ryu, not sure if it's any better.

And yeah Andres, must have been Dark Souls (*shudders*).
DF AQW  Post #: 50
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