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=RPA= The Dreamtime: Step 1

 
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7/28/2015 3:44:25   
Ronin Of Dreams
Still Watching...


Blackness. A lack of sensation. Then, at last, a thought. ‘Where am I?’ Quickly replaced by another, more important thought. ‘W-who am I? What am I?’ A dream starts small, establishing perspective, and to do so it needs an agent…

Let me start by welcoming you to the revised Role Playing Academy!

Now those familiar with the recent history of these boards will no doubt know that the old RPA Process used to be required. Problem is, the process failed in many ways to adapt to the changing landscape of the boards as a whole. While it served a very real purpose and need when it was introduced, times have changed, and the original process no longer was an aid or all that strong of an instruction tool. Especially once the old process was removed as a requirement to RP, which all but eliminated any usage as a learning tool.

Yet that process had some useful aspects. Giving new blood a chance to get their feet wet and receive constructive criticism in a controlled environment is something that should exist. The Dreamtime will, I hope, become a solid and useful replacement of the original outdated process and provide that atmosphere. Achieving the goal of helping folks to develop more confidence and skills in the basic core aspects of roleplaying in a less restrictive manner.

The first step of the Dreamtime is rather similar to the original process - we start with the concept of character development. At minimum, this means a character biography, which is required by the vast majority of roleplays in order to enter. Writing a biography, or bio for short, doesn’t need to be difficult! A DM will typically outline exactly what they require in a character bio up front within the OOC thread of a roleplay. The first step is much the same, below you will see a very basic outline of a bio which you will provide the details for, adding in more depth as you choose.

My challenge to you is to take that skeleton and create an original character from any of the main Artix Entertainment games. That’s right, unlike the old process I invite you to create someone straight out of the annals of DragonFable or the futuristic technology of MechQuest. Let alone the amalgam of everything which AdventureQuest Worlds achieves, just note whichever game setting they come from as the ‘Source Setting’ in the bio. You might just wind up teaching me a bit about one of the games I’m not familiar with! The key here is originality. Don’t just copy an existing character and give them a fresh coat of paint - make them your own, and someone you haven’t roleplayed as elsewhere. Using your in-game character as a basis is perfectly fine, but perhaps you can do better still!

Since the Dreamtime is meant to be a learning process, the quality of your work will be evaluated to a certain standard. No one is perfect with grammar, and the Dreamtime does not expect flawless work. However, some sign of taking your time and putting effort into revision is certainly a plus. Aside from that, this first step will be evaluating your character as a person. They should be more than a skin deep collection of spells and skills! Do your best to make them feel real by describing their personality and giving them a bit of history to give them depth. Play with the bio format if you need to, presentation sometimes helps to drive points home after all. Accomplish that while keeping their powers and abilities reasonable will give you a solid chance of moving on.

If, and if you’ve followed so far this will probably be a big if, your bio is not approved on your initial attempt, don’t let it get you down! There will be constructive criticism providing the reason or reasons why the bio was not approved so that you can fix the issues. Historically, this usually winds up being a case of having too much godmode potential. Too much power is a bad thing, at least within the Dreamtime. For the sake of records, if a follow-up attempt is needed, you should make a new post with the fixed bio. Do not edit the original post, please!

Now then, let the dream begin!

quote:


Source Setting:

Name:
Gender:
Age Range:
Race (Pure or halfbreed only):

Appearance (Build, hair, skin, clothes...):

Belongings:

Personality:

History:

Skills, spells and abilities (if applicable):



Congratulations to the graduates of this step:

Donovan, as created by Death snake1! Last seen: Moving on to Step 2 and awaiting potential partners.
Julian Atilla Van Dawnscar as created by Julian_Dawnscar! Last seen: Moving on to Step 2 and awaiting potential partners.
Ysel BarkWood as created by poerntoern
Vodahmin as created by brotherinlaw

< Message edited by Gingkage -- 7/14/2017 9:28:12 >
AQ  Post #: 1
7/28/2015 21:56:15   
Death snake1
Member

Approved, though I added in the Source Setting tag which was missed on the transfer. The explanation is a thorough accounting from nearly every angle worth considering, and it is appreciated. The wording might be a bit awkward at stages, but since that's an extra section dealing with technique mechanics, that's perfectly fine. That's not the type of writing expected for a post, after all. Solid bio, solid effort, and I appreciate the transfer over to the Dreamtime Proving Grounds. ~Ronin

Source Setting: DragonFable

Name: Donovan

Gender: Male

Age Range: 17-23 (He didn't know how long he was living in the desert)

Race (Pure or halfbreed only): Human

Appearance (Build, hair, skin, clothes...): He is short, about 5ft 8in, with sandy blonde hair. He has a lean, lithe form, built from having to run for long periods of time, and living off of the land. He has learned to to very agile, and quick.

Belongings: He wields a double-bladed scythe, Seethe, which uses a Mana element, as he had it forged for him using minerals that he collected from the Astral Plane. It looks kinda like this He has even created a separate pocket dimension for his collection, not trusting any form of bank, plus, he wants to have them nearby, and also stores his weapon here when not in use.

Personality: Donovan is very level headed. He tends to plan things several steps ahead, and have many different contingencies for the possibility that something could go wrong. He loves to take his time with things, loving to sit in the shade and read a good book, but is also able to buckle down and work hard when the need arises. He takes his education and any chances to learn things very seriously, and becomes incredibly focused when he has something new to learn. He is very easily distracted by shiny objects, sorta like a magpie. He desires to collect and hoard them. He has a natural affinity with astral spirits, letting him call them from the Astral Plane to his aid in battle or with puzzles that he may come across.

History: He is a human, born in a small town on the eastern coast of the Sandsea. About a year after the final fight against Wargoth, his village was hit by a large storm which destroyed everything, and left him orphaned. Without a home, he wandered the desert until he came upon Atrea, where he was quickly noticed by Irisi and brought on as her student. He quickly became one of the brightest students that she had, and finished his training in a little under 3 years. After that, he set out on a journey to go and explore the world; hoping to learn an gain as much knowledge as he can. After a time, he decided that his life of solitude was over. He decided to join the Beacons of Hope. He wanted to make the world a more hopeful place; to help those who needed it, and to try and see that no one would have to wander after a disaster like he had for so long. The group of people, from all over the world, with so many different backgrounds was a very good place for him to learn more about the world as a whole.

Skills, spells and abilities (if applicable): Donovan has a natural affinity with all forms of water, being able to move and control it at will. He is able to move and control the very molecules of it, allowing him to almost instantaneously change its phase. He uses this along with the spacial powers gained from his Ascendant training, being able to open portals to the Astral Plane at will and send anything, including himself through them. He is also able to call celestial spirits from the Astral Plane to help him, similar to the ones seen during his training in the Cosmos.

Clarification of Aquakinetic abilities: as per request
So, the way I thought about the issue was to have the AoE of the ability limited. Within a diameter of about 10 meter (centered on Donovan with a radius of 5 meters), all water would be able to be lifted, moved, and have its shape changed; things along those lines. Before it can be manipulated, Donovan must see it first. (Or sense the water droplets in the air.) When that water is brought withing a 2 meter diameter of his body, his level of manipulation of it would increase to a molecular level; it would generally be unaffected by the normal physical properties of water (eg: melting/boiling pt., phase change based on application of pressure, etc.). This control that he set on the water would remain while inside the larger diameter of his powers. This means that, if he created a blade made out of super-solid ice, it would not begin to melt if it was thrown out of his hand by an attack, unless it was thrown more than 5 meters away, then it would react like that form of water would as normal. Similar effects would happen with thrown objects or any form of created wave or storm if they were in a very water heavy terrain or within a storm. He would not be able to control any bonded form of water. (eg: Blood, because while it is 70% water, it is homogeneously bonded inside the cells, and is not in a "pure" state. He would, however be able to manipulate things like salt water, or muddy water, due to them not being truly bonded, but just having the ions/solids mixed within the water.) Water with magic already imbued within it would be much harder, or almost impossible for him to manipulate, depending on the level of magic in the water, its intent, and the power level of the person who imbued the water. This means that he would be able to manipulate incoming water attacks, but only when it was much closer to him, and in his line of sight. He would also be completely unable to manipulable anything cast but a true water mage, or by the Elemental Lord of Water himself, unless granted otherwise. Water with healing properties would be controllable, because of the fact that its "intentions" are not negative, and are therefore, able to be used to help someone in any situation. Those rules would also apply to ice or water vapor, because it is still water, just in a physical state. As for any issue with the Ice element, Donovan would be unable to manipulate magical ice; eg: A wizard summons a magical ball of ice to attack Donovan, he would be unable to manipulate it with his powers. He would have only be able to control ice made out of "real" water.

As per your request, I have moved this here, along with the explanation of powers.

< Message edited by Ronin Of Dreams -- 8/4/2015 23:14:24 >
AQ DF MQ AQW  Post #: 2
8/23/2015 20:21:09   
Draysin
Member

So, I am definitely trying this, but I need to clarify some stuff. So, first, what do we put in our Status Setting if our character exists in the timeline in which the elemental championships exist? Aswell as that, after we finish the Dreamtime, is the character eligible for more RP’s after that?
Post #: 3
8/23/2015 23:47:03   
Ronin Of Dreams
Still Watching...


There is no "Status Setting". The "Source Setting" requirement is to list whichever game universe among the plethora Artix Entertainment has which your character submission comes from. As far as the EC goes as a reference point, that has been running so long it is an original Adventure Quest staple, and fits within the same universe.

After completing the Dreamtime, you are free to use your character however you wish elsewhere on the boards. You may have them remember their dream, or they may have forgotten all about it, as some folks simply cannot recollect their dreams. More is the pity, but it is totally a writer's choice.

I am glad to see you swinging by to try it though, Draysin!
AQ  Post #: 4
8/24/2015 0:16:13   
Draysin
Member

Thanks Ronin, I'll try not to dispoint! Now to build a character!
Post #: 5
10/15/2015 14:10:27   
Julian_Dawnscar
Member

Approved! Now I'm not going to go light on critique, but you did ask for some. I like the character, and it is certainly a solid effort in the writing department. I saw your comments in the Welcome thread, and with that in mind, definitely a solid effort. Even though you are moving on though, let's talk some shop. First off, formatting. Each sentence should not be its own line when you start constructing posts. Ironically, that regimented style of separate lines helps create a tone within the bio, which actually makes it stand out. Almost helping establish a personality, just it may not be the one you intend to portray exactly. Outside of a bio however, that tendency will lead to posts which others are likely to find frustrating to read.

There's more, but they are slightly less stand out. You have a few grammatical issues. Some which are possibly just typos or spelling errors, such as "trough" when you meant "through", and overuse of certain constructions. I doubt this will prove to be as much of a thing when you post, either further along in the Dreamtime or possibly elsewhere, but you have a fondness for the semicolon and colon. These are often neglected tools in a writer's arsenal, and I applaud your usage of them! Just don't overuse them when you get to proper postcraft.

One last element I'll touch on is the dramatic extension. You could file this under the 'suspension of disbelief' category, or just call it a pretty major stretch. It is difficult to imagine a 10-year-old child attacking a vampire. Much less so one who succeeds. More detail might have helped here, to make it more believable or explain its costs. I'm not going to hold it against you hard, though. The point of the Dreamtime is to create and learn to do so together, and not hold an entire bio up for a single piece of questionable History. At least not alone.

For all of that, you do have some good qualities evident in the post. A gun arm is not new, per se, but you have a theme going with Julian that I can admire. The mental image of anti-riot rubber bullets comes to mind given your description of how the weapon works...and there's plenty of appealing potential in such a weapon. Especially for a vampire hunter, who is perhaps playing around their known strengths while avoiding casualties of a stray innocent? There's some coolness to it, and some noted crazy, so enjoy your time here on the RP Boards and I look forward to seeing what you might create over in Step 2. Might I suggest you send Death snake1 a PM sometime to get the ball rolling? ~Ronin



Let's give it a try.

Once a hunter, now the prey

Source Setting: Adventure Quest

Name: Julian Atilla Van Dawnscar
Nickname/s: "Jul", "J-Dog", "Artillery" (originated from Atilla), "The guy who owes me 20 GOLD"
Gender: Male
Age Range: Young Adult around 20-23 years
Race: Human
Alignment: Chaotic neutral

Appearance:

He's a bit small for his age: about 63 inches tall.
In a nutshell: Julian is a simple man not drawing too much attention.
Except for his strip of red hair formed to a ponytail revealing the blonde shaved right and left parts of his head.
And of course his goggles which are located on his forehead, sometimes they are protecting his ocean blue eyes... as it should be.
Oh, did I mention his massive "Drakel Tech" machine arm and hand? No? Well he's got that too, instead of his left Arm.
A masterpiece of engineering, covered with screws and gears, yet more advanced as the common work of Gnomes and Drakel.
I've come to the conclusion that he is drawing more attention than I thought.
At least his clothing is normal: a black Jacket and some black pants with small belts strapped around his legs as decoration.

Belongings:
- A very small tank of fuel for his machine arm strapped to his belt.
- A badge from the "Tarantula-Gear Order" on his right sleeve.
- Some wooden stakes in a bag he carries on his belt.
- And of course some ammunition, later you'll know why.

Personality:

Gloomy, yet cheerful... it's strange.
His personality is something you can't just explain, a rare form of insanity mixed with ice cold seriousness sometimes broken trough bad jokes, self loathing and random acts of kindness.
But the thing that is always present is his wish for destruction, not caring about his own safety, he changes when he is in battle.

- Fears:
Someone taking away his freedom; Turning evil by gaining too much power; Being responsible for someone else; Talking to women; Spiders; Moglins.
- Goals: Cleanse Darkovia of vampires; Survive; Start a family and grow old.
- Political orientation: Has a heart for rebels but if enough money is involved he would also work for kings, queens and rulers in general; Open minded and kind to people from different countries.
- Habbits: Sniff people hoping he can figure if they are vampire or not by their scent (of course he can't); Talking to himself when planing something; Picking his nose when nobody is looking.
- Hates: Power hungry people, Working early in the morning; Not getting payed for work; Vampires.
- Is confused by: Mages and magic in general; People that plan something in advance; The fact that so many people think it's excighting to be a vampire.
- Tolerates: Lycans, being stared at, people dissaproving with his methods.
- Likes: Money; Different cultures; His freedom; explosions and fireworks.
- Admires: Blacksmiths; Fellow mechanics; sucsessfull vampire hunters; Necromancers using their power for good.

- Strategies:
In battle: He plans his moves as he's fighting, unpredictable and sometimes self-destructing. (He bites vampires because that's what they don't expect it).
Social: Trying to be funny and supportive, not keeping someone from doing as they please.
If that doesn't work to make new friends he just states at other people untill they give up and let him follow them.

History

Julian was born in Granemor, always feeling the presence of death creeping from the forests.
At the age of 8 he survived his first vampire attack, at the age of 10 a vampire didn't survive Julian's attack.
Of course his talent hasn't been undiscovered for long.
With 16 years of age he was recruited by V to begin his training as a vampire slayer.
After the death of his mentor and the raise of the Shadowslayers and Nighthunters he joined another order called "Tarantula Gears".
It was also the time when he was bitten and had to amputate his left arm.
As soon as the leader of the order was killed during work, Julian left his job behind and became rogue.
Alone and with no order to support him he became the hunted and had to flee east.
Eventually he found refuge in a hidden Drakel City.
He quickly became a functioning part of their society and studied their arts becoming one of the best engineers of the city.
Julian even managed to replace his lost arm.
He left the City to work as a mercenary in the east, knowing that the vampire population won't be that hight there.


Skills, spells and abilities:

Most of Julian's power comes from his machine arm:
He's able to transform it into a gun shooting projectiles that can't pierce armor or shields but if used at rapid fire, can knock enemies down.
Also the mercenary is good in fist fighting, not any martial art, just punching the opposite in the face faster than they punch him.
Van Dawnscar is also good at tinkering, or repairing technical items.
Oh, and explosives of course, how could I forget the explosives, he loves them, small explosives of course, the handy ones.
The kind of explosive that doesn't leave your enemy in a pink floyd but knocks them down or leads them in the direction that you desire.
Of course he can run out of ammo and explosives, even pretty fast, but Julian knows how to craft them using the right materials.

Misc:
Julian has the word: "NOMAD" tattooed on his upper back because of his new lifestyle as a wandering mercenary.
Also he's got a tattoo of a Basilisk with the words: "Aint No Rest For The Wicked" below it on his right shoulder to remind him he's still being hunted and to never look back.

I want to make my character as good as possible, and only with your help I can do so.
So don't hold anything back, if I can make something better tell me, don't worry I can take critique even if it's harsh.
I'm looking forward to some awesome adeventures.
So long,
Sincerely your's

Julian

< Message edited by Ronin Of Dreams -- 10/28/2015 23:09:59 >
Post #: 6
10/28/2015 23:13:49   
Ronin Of Dreams
Still Watching...


Updated. Much apologies about the delay, but apparently Death snake1 may finally have a partner!

In the meantime, the more the merrier! So let's see some more submissions shall we?
AQ  Post #: 7
12/18/2015 17:44:26   
Autasai
Member

Not approved. The aim of this step of the Role Playing Academy is to create an original character, and by your own admission, this is not one such person. While I do find this character interesting, and hope to see her in other places, perhaps even in other role plays or in the Legends and Lore, The Dreamtime requires a brand new character.

Some things to keep in mind for future attempts: First and most importantly, watch your gender pronouns. Multiple times in this bio you switched between feminine and masculine pronouns, from 'she' to 'he' a couple of times even in the same paragraph, such as "She’s not usually one to plan out things regularly. Due to this; she tends to jump into action before thinking anything through. Only when she’s extremely serious about certain actions that she would plan things out - in itself is rather rare to see. ( And his planning skills are really terrible at that. )" where for the entirety of the paragraph you used the female 'she' but in the parenthetical suddenly switched to the masculine 'his' to describe the skills.

Also, watch your grammar. There were a few instances of sentences that didn't seem quite complete, or tense confusion. These are things that a beta reader, should you know someone you trust to look over your posts to spot those small mistakes, would be able to catch and help you correct.

All in all, this is an interesting character who I'd love to see more of in a different setting, and I look forward to seeing what characters you come up with both for this and other role plays. ~Gingkage


Oh boy here we go. Also, this is a character I have used many times in multiple settings, so if you find anything that's not in Lore ( Say, Jorrhildr, Regalia, ect. ) please tell me!

Source Setting: AQW, since Its the only game that I'm even close to on event updates.

Name: Alyona Dorofei Vandinin
Gender: Female
Age Range: Nineteen, but will be twenty by December 22nd.
Race (Pure or halfbreed only):Former human until infected with Vampirism
Appearance (Build, hair, skin, clothes...):
Visual Information

Alyona stands at the height of 5”8 and weighs in about 189 pounds. She has an athletic body build, as from both the vampirism effects and her former occupation as a huntress. However, her shape resembles more of a triangle then any other possible shapes there may be. This is characterized by a defined waist and hips more fuller then her upper body parts, resulting in a pear-like shape.
Alyona has an extremely pale complexity, almost as white as the snow of the upper continents of lore, as where she’s from, and her vampirism with barely any interaction with sunlight itself.

Alyona has very little body hair on her, it’s there - but not a easily visible amount of.

Head Description

Alyona has a head of a circular heart, her chin is a bit pointed - but not by too much. Her nose is a straight bridge down. Her eyes form as a shape of almonds, with high cheekbones. Her forehead is in a medium size. Her ear-lobes are unattached, she has the ability to twitch her ears.
Formerly a deep green, hue eyes are now of a crimson hue from the effects of vampirism. Her usual expression is a cheery one without a frown, it’s not a smile of intimidation, simply a regular grin.
The sanguine has dark dry brunette hair that would had fallen onto the length of her knees - although she currently keeps it in a rather untidy braid. Though the stray hair coming out from the thick locks of hair - it is quite sturdy. Her fringe has bits of hair hanging between her eyes, although later cut off the long bit of it once it began to bother her eyes. Her sidebangs are curled into the direction of her cheeks.
Alyona currently has no scars or tattoos at the moment.
Clothing and Accessories

The brunette currently wears a white turtleneck blouse that stretches onto her neck. Over it is a dark purple coat-like button vest with even darker purple linings and dark gray buttoning. It reaches down onto her waist where a pair of black leather pants are, slightly worn out by constant walking and other activities that the vampire may do. Her footwear consists of a pair of gray boots that reach up to her knees, covering some of the leather pants. She has a pair of sheaths that rest two types of swords, and a throwing knife that she had picked up.
The sanguine isn’t much of a fan of wearing important items in the outside and so tends not to hold anything close to her on while wandering through her residence. She’ll only put anything of value to her on when she’s in a place that she would see as ‘safe’.

-References: All three versions of her. ( Left to right; Current, When I first started playing her, and in her backstory ( 5 years ago. )
Old body-type version, colors remain although.

Belongings:
-A set of throwing knives
-A rapier
-A claymore sword
Owns a lot more weaponry, but it’s already heavy. And that she doesn’t have enough hands.

Personality:
Personality Traits

Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
Personality Traits:
-Adventurous: Most of the reason why he’s mostly still around is for the sake of tasting adventure and freedom. Although, he tends to get himself with everything due to this. The law, and mostly about everyone that enjoys the feel of justice.

-Careless:Se’s a bit of an idiot, and doesn’t think about things before she actually does certain things. This goes to jumping into battles with people that may be more dangerous then herself - or deciding it would be a good idea to try anything that would put herself into harm’s way.

-Naive: If you’re one of Alyona’s close friends - she’ll end up believing you almost completely. This is something she’d usually try to hide from others - but if you’re one of the girl’s friend’s, he’ll believe you if you have her trust. It’s like being able to stare at someone and know that they’re good enough to follow.

-Daring: She’s moreso to do things that people wont usually do, along with being careless Alyona won’t hesitate to jump into dangerous places for anything that she feels the need to do for either herself or someone she trusts. Especially if there is something that she needs to do to save a friend’s life.

-Loyal: Alyonawon’t usually defect to another side, unless she’s too confused or angered. If one manages to come to her aid, she’ll come to theirs no matter the issue. It’s something she’ll regularly do, and she doesn’t plan on betraying any factions or trusted people that she made friends with, she’ll automatically have some sort of emotional attachment.

-Difficult: When frustrated, she becomes amazingly stoic and refuses to reason with anyone. She becomes very capricious - jumping at a chance to fight or harm anyone who may had been the source of her own anger or guilt. Or, just becoming very hard to talk too.

-Impulsive: At the moment she feels the need to do something; she’ll do it. Alyona doesn’t regularly plan things out unless they’re of value or important to herself. If she does plan something; it’s usually a very bad plan.

-Outgoing: As developed by town-hopping and moreso boredom, she enjoys to have conversations with anyone. Even if they may not like her, or if they’re going to be her meals or after they have been bit. She just pleasures in talking to people in general.

-Childish: She might as well be a thirteen year old kid, because that is what she pretty much is like. She pulls stupid jokes and puns for the sake of doing it, and may act a bit spoiled at times.

Likes:
-Weaponry: She collects weaponry as a hobby. She’ll take mostly everything, whenever if it’s laying idly about - or in someone’s hands. She would often ask for them, if you drop one during a fight - she’ll automatically take it.
-Pranking: If you count pushing people into the water among other trickery; another of her hobbies is pranking unfortunate people. It may be how she usually pushes people into water or occasionally scaring them to near death. In his opinion, it’s fun. Also, terrible puns.
-Socializing: Alyona does enjoy talking to anyone, it wastes time when she’s bored, and she’s able to know more people. She enjoys having friends with him while sneaking or adventuring into things that shouldn’t be explored, especially those whose too ‘good’ to join him in his schemes - the brunette usually makes fun of them for being in higher levels of the morality rank. Due to this, most of the time she’ll talk to people.
-Winter: She really enjoys the presence of snow, who could blame him? She gets rather hyper at the sight of snow - going into a childish mode that plays in the snow. She’ll build snowforts and snowmen until he’s tired and goes home to do it again the next day.
-Children: They’re fun to play and talk too. Though, ironically he gets along with them well due to the fact that he can just as easily think like them. Though, he’s actually a terrible caretaker - more or less. Though he’ll immediantly protect one if they’re in danger - Do children usually play with silverware?

Dislikes
-Vigilantes: No. Nononono. You do not play the ‘hero’ around her, or else something like that will probably trigger something in her mind - a desire to bring down the person from whatever pedestal they put themselves up on. Although its counterproductive seeing as they’re trying to get rid of the bad guy -- he’ll probably team up with whoever he’s fighting to help them beat whoever it is up.
-Morality: Such things such as guilt or the feel of responicibility bother her constantly, as such how she ends up nearly fearing these things coming into her life, as her childhood of near isolation usually spared herself from meeting any others. Though, as she begins to have more of a social life -- thinking of having to take care of others, feel sorry about things and worrying about things that might not even happen, or delayed for weeks to go. She’s a childish person who doesn’t want to grow up.
-Idiots: People who do not understand regular things are much of a bother to her, as they seem to not be able to do simplistic tasks or even listen. Although she is an idiot herself, anyone with lesser IQ or more careless then herself make her want to cringe. This usually leads to bullying of certain people who seem to be a bit too naive to do something, though there are some exceptions who become her friends after some fun times of poking fun at them in front of others.
-Mages: She has a certain hate for mages, It just really annoys her to see it.Although magic is a usual thing around here; any sort of magic slightly unnerves him. She’s not scared of it, though - it’s more so an annoyance to see people using magic in the streets for no reason, and would love to punch one in the face to interrupt whatever magical things they’re doing. Due to a fight with a fire mage, her dislike for mages increased - leaving only some exceptions to this. Usually because she hadn’t realize their magical abilities yet or is actually really bad with it.

History:
Life Story

Alyona was born to Etaina and Dorofey on December 22th, a somewhat warm day. It wasn’t the sunniest but the sky cleared up a bit as if to celebrate the birth of a young girl. However, the mother’s life didn’t last long. As she gave birth, she died a few days after from internal pain and disease. However, the young girl was fine.

Her father was quite disappointed as he had wished for a son; although came up as a loving dad to Alyona as he saw her as the last of his wife gave to him. Though, as there was no motherly figure in her life - she didn’t have anyone to ask for in certain female situations. Though, she got used to them on her own - quite hard in her own opinion.

The young girl was brought up more as a son then a daughter - as she learned how to hunt animals at a young age in an attempt to get her interested in the family trade of furs and other merchandise that could be made from animals roaming the northern continent. Alyona quickly learned, and such had been stuck into her head. Among these came other masculine hobbies, as adventures into the dense woods had brought her much joy to adventures.
Later on in life; at the age of eight, she had a new step-mother. A woman by the name of Esfir. Her new mother, however, came from a rich heritage; a family of merchants and scholars. Though the thought of staying inside to study about history and things never seemed to get into her head. As she had been forced to study as much as she could before the woman would really let her do anything else. Though, unknowingly to Alyona - it was mostly out of tough love.

Within the span of two years - it was soon enough that Alyona, and the rest of her not-so-new family - moved into a larger house for them all to stay in. Though Alyona did miss the woods; and the thick, snowy, forests where she could freely splatter red all over the pure, white snow; it was.. Okay, here, too. The large house was comfortable, for one. Though never really make any friends with anyone else in the area; as she didn’t really understand what they were speaking. Soon having to learn the language.

Although, Alyona was commonly lectured about continuing Esfir’s family trade as her heiress. Something of which she doesn’t seem to enjoy much about. Though had easily given her much stress that she deemed uneccessary. Due to how the woman tended to put it on her, as how Alyona’s step-family, all depended on her. How she needed to do her best in everything. Of course, she never did that; but it did stress her to no end at times.

Later on, Alyona’s father - Dorofey, has heard news of a tradegy. As shown that one or two of his former drinking buddies ended up getting severely hurt - one of them dead due to a vampirical attack. With this, the father decided to go back to the small ‘town’ and stay there for a while. For the sake of avenging one of his now deceased friends. Not much had happened during that stay. Except for a quick visit from a stranger.

In Esfir’s sleep, the young woman - Alyona - had heard a knock at the door. Due to the other’s deep sleeping, she wasn’t able to hear it. However, the brunette who was able to turned to it, awoken from a light sleep. Although, due to her father’s absense, she had taken a moment to rush towards the door, believing it to be her missing father. Though, what she found was very disappointing. What stood before the door turned out to be a stranger with red eyes, not taking a moment to lunge her teeth into her - sucking blood out from her throat. Paralyzed by the sudden attack - it took moments before she began to shriek. One of which was muffled by a palm.
In the morning, she was awoken by Esfir, who had found her in the middle of the hallway in front of the door. The door was closed and locked, though some snow had snuck itself inside. The step-mother did have a heart and dragged her soon into bed, sick with worry. The following days were struck with illness - Alyona, bedridden for the next three days. A report was soon given to the house as it turned out that her father has been found dead.

Soon enough, Esfir went to find another doctor. Although wasn’t confident, causing her to leave the house for a long period of time; out of despair of her ‘loss’ of a daughter.

It was also the day that Alyona got ‘Better’.

Her eyes were now a red hue, feeling more impulsive then she was before. She could get out of bed, and run around as though no one was there - as there was no one there.

As any day in the northern continent, the day was snowy with no such sun to be seen, giving the ability to run around in the snow. It wasn’t enough time before she began to feel hungry, she tried to eat food - but her appetite didn’t allow it, as the thought of eating began to sicken her as a thirst in her throat emerged. Where’s a doctor? She began to walk through the stone path covered with snow, feeling more energy then she was able too for the past years growing up. She walked through deep snow through a forest as the sun slowly began to set.
Closer she began to get to any neighboring house she was able to get near, soon beginning to knock upon a door loudly. It took a minute before someone opened it, due to the darkness of the night there - it was hard to catch a sight of her eyes. They let the girl inside, seeing as how she looked innocent, they were unfortunately wrong.

Later on, they had let her rest. That same night a catch of her eyes were seen, the resident soon rushing to a weapon - a knife. A fight began, of which the unfortunate resident soon lost. As blood seeped out of his neck, the thirst rised as a lick at it came. It wasn’t long before she began to suck his blood, due to the injuries - the man was paralyzed. She did it for a minute, possibly more. The man soon died from blood loss, but Alyona was completely fine again.
It felt nice, soon enough, she began to do this to as much neighbors as she was able too. Though, as suspicion built up -- the brunette was soon to be ran out of her home - and the rest of the town .As there was more towns, it felt a bit more nicer there. Soon, she began to develop the ability to have a conversation with her meals, right before biting them. Too her, it was fine. It let her know a bit more about her victims. Such as who they were and what they did, though they didn’t like the girl herself. Though, what they tend to show as problems in their own personal life is disturbing. As shown by how seemingly little things such as guilt or other things in a regular life style gave her many views of suicide, shown through various people.

Soon having to move between towns to escape executions - she stumbled upon the boat to the mainland one dark night. Soon to land herself in Darkovia. Oh boy, this is just her kinda place, ain’t it?


Skills, spells and abilities (if applicable):

Strengths:


-Agility: She’s a very quick fighter, usually having a quick reaction timing and counter-attacks. She’s known for being a rather hasty fighter, mostly using her vampirism for a boost in speed and strength, to the point of being able to literally bounce off a wall as an attack. Counter-attacking is a good ability of hers.

-Daring: She’s willing to do more stupid things then the average person, and so will go through most obstacles if there was something that he needed to achieve or earn. It may be entering a dangerous place or fighting against someone that may be stronger then herself.

-Quick-Learner: Alyona is able to learn things quite easily, from things such as actual lessons to learning how to use a weapon, or literally copying what someone does just by watching. Though, if she’s not interested into a certain subject she won’t learn it as quickly as he usually would.
Medical skills: Due to the fact that she works in a medical house, it’s natural for her to know how to at least know how to bandage someone. Though she has absolutely no knowledge of even enough confidence to proceed something complex like a surgery by herself - he can at least just make himself proud of what she can do.

Weaknesses:

-Impulsive: She’s not usually one to plan out things regularly. Due to this; she tends to jump into action before thinking anything through. Only when she’s extremely serious about certain actions that she would plan things out - in itself is rather rare to see. ( And his planning skills are really terrible at that. )

-Magical harm: She's mostly defenseless against attacks that come from some sort of other force aside from someone's sword in their harm. For example, some sort of mechanical weaponry, hidden traps within an area - or the most obvious, any kind of magic. Alyona has some experience with magical attacks, though the ones he had fought weren't exactly the best at their own skill. If she were to fight someone he knew had a stronger force of any other ability that she is both aware of and stronger then the previous mages she fought - the first thing on his mind may be to flee.

-Non-Defensive: Alyona isn’t a person to think about blocking attacks on-sight. As mostly she will try to dodge or counter-attack, though if she isn’t able to do either she’s at a bad point. She had never had proper training and so never learned how to properly block a blow from another, and won’t parry a sword unless she put her mind to it.
Not serious at all: It’s rare to see him actually take anything seriously, due to the fact that unless it has something to directly harmful to do with himself - the best he can do it just take it a bit deeper then ‘lightly’, and he can’t get himself to frown even if he wanted too. Painful things are hilarious if you’re not the one suffering.


< Message edited by Gingkage -- 4/6/2016 10:24:23 >
AQW  Post #: 8
2/2/2016 20:16:14   
Shadownightninja
Member

Not approved as it is currently. Instead of making a brand new character, however, I would like you to resubmit this one with the following things clarified before I make a final judgment call.

How does his 'dimension hopping' for lack of a better term truly work? How is it applied in, say, combat situations if at all? Outside of combat? How much or little fine control over it does he have? Can he choose and control which dimension he goes to?

I would also like a clear definition on his MindLine and DeathFlow spells. As they are now, there is a large risk of those skills being overpowered. He could, for example, completely and irreversibly drain someone of their sanity, or use those death energies to bring an enemy to rot and decay. What weaknesses do those skills have? How frequently and easily can they be used? What possible drawbacks are there to using these skills.

I realize you said he does not often use those death energies to heal himself, but I would also like that to be clearly defined in the instance that he does find himself needing to use them. How long does it take to heal? Are there any requirements to using this, or can he do so at will? Are there limits to how much he heals?

As a last, technical note, try to find places in your descriptions where paragraph breaks are possible. Large walls of text are, as a rule, difficult for a person to easily read and follow. Breaking them up into smaller chunks where possible makes it easier on others to read and respond to your posts. And as above, I do recommend, though it is not a requirement for your next attempt, that you find someone to go over your post to find spelling and grammar errors, as that would also aid in your post's readability.


Wish me luck, first time posting on this forum in a lonnnggg time.

Source Setting: Aqw

Name: Caine. The Sire of Dimensional Order.
Gender: Male
Age Range: 500-2000 Years old. Generally unknown.
Race (Pure or halfbreed only): Lichdom. Assumes he was human due to his natural tendencies and last known language.
Alignment: Lawful Evil (or Chaotic Evil temporarily if he uses excessive Dimensional or Chrono magic, both of which crush his sanity.)

Appearance (Build, hair, skin, clothes...):  Caines bodily appearance is similar to a revenant, vampire, or recently risen undead with Pale, grey, sickly skin. His eyes mirror large pits of darkness, appearing to consume light, and finally in the center, shines a miniscule, neon yellow pupile. His hair is a peppered color, mostly grey with tinges of black throughout it. This human-like form is rarely seen due to the horrific visage that all warp necromancer dawn. Ripped from some of the most terror-inducing beings (though beings is a poor choice of words for the monstrosities that lurk between dimensions) that Caine has slain, the second skin he wears seems to breath and hold its own life, as it channels the glowing, bright yellow, interdimensonal death energies that fill the unrealms. The pauldrons are adorn with what looks to be a gaping maw of flesh, filled with a yellow light. His armor is draped with scraps of a thin cloth that, upon close inspection, has the semblance of skin. Each piece of his body reflects this image, an image of horror. His crown jewel of his ambiance, is his very own crown. A helmet forged from a pale and dull yellow skull of some creature lost to history. This helm is Adorn with large, downward curling horns that protrude slightly outwards. The eye sockets of this headress are complete opposite of his own eyes, glowing with a haunting yellow haze, they are equally as dreadfull. This skull covers down to Caines upper lip, just revealing his own, chilling maw. The strength of Caines Second skin, is similar to the hide of the rare Void Dragon.

Belongings: A nomad of dimensions, Caine only has one item that he holds dear, his Chronical of Knowledge and historic events. This book has the semblance of a Necronomicon, but is not limited to studies of undeath, since he constantly updates it due to his encroaching insanity. He utilizes this book in order to remember what he has forgotten over the millenia. This Chronical holds his studies in interdimensonal magic, and as such, is not limited by normal physics. This ultimately works as a never ending book, which Caine can add to as he sees fit, whether it be an entry in his day-to-day journey through new dimensions, or through his studies of magic. This was originally a normal notebook that he had before he came into his newfound powers. At the time it only had one thing written in it "Goodbye Leara, if you read this.... I am gone... I will always love you. (Signed) Caine." This is the only way he remembers his own name.

Personality: Unendingly Calm but due to his time in the Unrealms he may have small bursts of insanity, that may include babbling in ancient, lost or even incomprehensible languages of the creatures that corrupt the Unrealms. He constantly fears losing his grip the sanity and humanity he has left with him.  Someday he feels he will be broken completely and become what he hunts and will stop at nothing to keep that from happening. He knows there are very few keepers of the dimensions and sticks true to his course, no matter the casualties, A few lives out way the multiverse. Tends to be forgetfull and lost in thought due to his limited sanity. Despite this, his strongest trait is his will.
Caine loathes the new found threat of Chaos and it's masiah Drakkath. Caine has dedicated his current strength and power to this realm in order to nip it in the bud.

History: Caines history is shrouded in mystery since he has lost memory of it over time. He only remembers what he has written in his Chronical, and is very out of touch with the mortal realm due to his endless hunt for Order. He doesnt recall at whixh point he reached his Lichdom but assumes it was reached due to his powers of undeath and dimensional magic. From the sidelines Caine has assisted in many dimensionally worry some events throughout history, from the threat of Carnax, to the recent plague of Chaorupption that dangers the multiverse. Someday he wishes to train more Warp Necromancers, because he is certain he will not be able to live forever and that he will be defeated someday.

Skills, spells and abilities (if applicable):
Caines main powers stem from channeling death magics through rift he creates between dimensions. Normal Necromancer require a conduit to create undead, such as a corpse. This is a simple task for Caine as he rips his resources from the unrealms directly, be it large resources of death magic, or the flesh of fallen Dimensional horrors. He is also quite adept at flesh forging or creating horrific golems of flesh and bones. Caine relies on mana in minute amounts and utilizes a different resource mainly, his own sanity. This resource is more plentiful and effective in use of his dimensional magics and due to him strengthening his mind through years of torment through the horrors of unrealms.   Caine tends to let his own necromantic monstrosities do the work for him but does utilize bursts of death magic for combat, since he does not carry a weapon of his own.  While Caines pets focus on physical destruction of his foes, he alone targets his enemies mind and spirit. The main two spells Caine coined and uses are MindLine, similar to the Leach Life spell but instead of draining life energies it functions by draining enemies of their sanity to heal his own mind while breaking his opponents.(regenerates his sanity as a magic resourse) He also uses a spell called DeathFlow where instead of draining life from his foe, he flows death energies into them and over a short channeled time can hurt and cripple a living enemy. (Not effective on undead). Caine also has the ability to heal himself with death energy over time since he is a lich, but harbors a great amount of disdain for this ability (and rarely uses it even in life threatening fights) since he feels it diminishes his connection with what's left of his humanity. Caine also dabbles in a small amount of chronomancy to assist in his Lichdom situation. He utilizes this as his main source of healing but is not skilled in it. This use of Chronomancy is in order to keep his physical form from deteriorating into nothing but bones, like other liches. He can't concentrate on it during combat often and at most can slow time minutely to increase his reaction time by a few milliseconds. Despite having his Second Skin (armor made from void creatures) Caine is decently squishy since his physical form is fairly untrained. If Caine utilizes too much Warp or Chrono magic his sanity will temporarily shatter requiring him to spend time trying to mend it. This could lead to rampaging, randomly warping through dimensions, crippling himself to immobility, or in worse case scenario, opening dimensional gates without closing them, allowing uncontrollable void creatures to create havok.

< Message edited by Gingkage -- 4/7/2016 11:33:32 >
AQ DF MQ AQW  Post #: 9
2/24/2016 0:12:46   
poerntoern
Member

Conditionally approved. My condition is this. As above, I need you to clearly define exactly what his skills do. How exactly does his manipulation of fire work? How many tornadoes is 'multiple'? How long do they last? How much damage do they do? How strong are all of his skills? How often can he use any one skill? How much energy does it take out of him to use it?

Clarify these things, and welcome to Step 2.


Here it is, tell me how it is.

Source Setting: Dragonfable

Name: Ysel BarkWood
Gender: Male
Age Range: 14-15
Race (Pure or halfbreed only): Clawkin

Appearance (Build, hair, skin, clothes...): Ysel is a scrawny brown with white trim furred clawkin wearing a red and black pyromancer robe with a red hood. With a belt with a fire sigil on it. He also wears fingerless black gloves. He also has a mostly brown tail with a white oval on the top with brown spots on it.

Belongings: A red and black pyromancer robe with a red hood. Also has fingerless black gloves so his claws don't ruin the gloves. He also has a magical orb in the middle of two moving rings that differ in size when they are closer to the orb. That orb is his arcane focus.

Personality: He is a snobbish sarcastic short-fused Clawkin Pyromancer. He HATES being interupted when he is trying to learn a new spell, so much that when he finally learns it, he will find you and test it on YOU. And if you ask about his home village, he burns you with his favorite spell. But if you try to friend him when he isn't trying to learn a new spell or practicing, he starts to warm up to you and you see his mischievous prankster side. And MAYBE if you friend him enough, he will NOT burn you when you interrupt his spells! When someone near him mentions his favorite food (Her-Os), he starts nomming anything that looks similar to a Her-O. He also gives people with the hiccups with a tiny burn. Cause he HATES HICCUPS.

History: He was a normal Clawkin in his home village of Zry'thia, going to Clawkin school and the like, but there was one person at the school who always bullied him. So as a hobby, Ysel started learning magic, he casted enough spells that the last spell would be the element he will be forced to use forever. Its a curse of his Clawkin tribe. He was thinking of using a powerful ice spell to freeze him forever, but when he tried to cast it, he got the hiccups and casted a godlike fire spell instead, Burning the whole village to the ground, leaving only him alive. He ran away from it forever so no one would find out about his past. But when he left and hiccuped a little fireball, he smiled, like he learned his new type of favorite magic. If it wasn't for the hiccups, he wouldn't find his favorite type of spells. Anyway, back on track. When he was gone, he got a clothier to make him a robe and hood based on his new magic skills. Later when he put them on, he went walking down the street and found a fire gem. He took it off the ground and ran as fast as possible, because he saw the previous owner still confused as where it went. Later he found how to enchant it to its maximum power, with two pyro ovals. Rare constructs made of flame proof metal inscribed with runes. He sneaked into Xan's lair and stole the metal to craft it. He then went to Doomwood and made a home there. A tiny shack with a hidden study underneath, so he can try to learn the spell he casted before.

Skills, spells and abilities (if applicable): Manipulation of fire, the ability to make multiple medium sized inferno tornados (His favorite spell), the ability to shield himself with a fire barrier, the ability to make an enemy colder with Un-fire so fire spells are more effective (To people who don't know, I was making a reference to an AE book called the Dragons Secret.). And finally, the ability to make tiny sparks, mainly used for pranking.

< Message edited by Gingkage -- 4/7/2016 16:57:38 >
AQ DF  Post #: 10
3/13/2016 5:11:13   
gaby_artizada
Member

Not approved.

This character is, simply put, overpowered. 'Mastery' of any one weapon or fighting style is something that takes years to gain, and is not something a 15 - 20 year old would have. Mastery of all weapon arts is even more impossible. The ability to summon any weapon he desires, as well as spiritual weapons, is further overpowered, as is his ability to control elements.

Make a character that is less powerful, and I am certain you will be able to advance to the next step.


Here we go.

Source Setting: DragonFable

Name: Jokey
Gender: Male
Age Range: 15-20
Race (Pure or halfbreed only): Human
Alignment: Evil, turned Good

Appearance: He is short (about 5ft 6in), with dark grey hair pointing backwards. He has a body that is corrupted with magic from past battles, having not worn any special armor. He now wears a full, special armor to protect himself, or the least of his memories.

Belongings: He wields a dark, chaotic dual daggers that uses a Darkness element. He can go from any weapon, be it scythe, staff or sword. He never trust anyone from holding his items as it can cause collateral damage.

Personality: He has a split personality. While he tends to learn how to move forward everytime, he can be dark. He has a disorder on which he can go on a frenzy if something ticks him off (like enemies using his past memories to taunt him). He is a collector, and tends to collect magical items. He has a friendly atmosphere with elementals, as he has encountered them during his childhood. He has a pet dragon named Darko, a black, darkness dragon.

History: Born in a small house around Sherwood Forest, he is an ordinary human with a family of assassins. During the Fire War, some fire elementals attacked his house in Sherwood Forest, killing his relatives but saving himself. On the ashes of his burnt house, he finds weapons once held by his father. He knew nothing but confusion, and became dark. Though uneducated, he learns quickly from every step he makes. He can read, speak well, but his greatest skill is that he can sneak where no enemies can even see him. Day after day, he completes contracts given to him by people. Years later, he visited Falconreach, having rebuilt from the Fire War, and saw a young child. The child's name was Onyx. He thought to himself, he cannot kill innocent people to satisfy his needs. He looked from side to side, and upon seeing that Onyx was an orphan, he took her and went to his house, where he took care of Onyx. Onyx was 4 years younger than Jokey. Another month came from his life and he was quickly possessed with darkness. But he is still good, at least on his heart. He also found a lonely, dark dragon surrounded by elementals. As Jokey prepares to fight, elementals offered a gift: the ability to control himself. He took both the gift and the dragon and left. Day after day, he sees Onyx improving to become a hunter like Robina. Now, his life goal is to see Onyx grow, defeat evil and save Lore, while having to see the remains of his past memories.

Skills, spells and abilities (if applicable): He is a master of weapon arts, as he can summon instantly every weapon. He can summon spiritual weapons to aid him, which is similar to Nulgath's blade. Since he also has a form of relationship with the elementals, he can also summon them to aid him. The gift to control himself is actually a very powerful weapon: he can control elements and use it to attack the enemy. Though he takes great care as the latter skill can kill him once it is out of control. He has 2 companions, which he can use for battle: Onyx, a very powerful hunter, and Darko, a darkness dragon.

You say darkness?: Since his element is darkness, he may not have the ability to kill undead. Paladins see him as a disgrace, as he can only control darkness. But after the elementals' gift to him, he may summon the Light element to be used on his weapons, though risking his 3 second consciousness due to blinding effects.

< Message edited by Gingkage -- 4/7/2016 17:04:36 >
AQ DF MQ AQW  Post #: 11
4/5/2016 18:05:01   
  Gingkage

Wolf Rider of DFQ&A/GD/Guides/RP


Just posting here to reiterate, as I said in my introduction thread, that I have every hope and intention of getting to these posts within the next couple of days, so keep an eye out for that.
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 12
3/1/2017 23:12:30   
brotherinlaw
Member

Not approved. However, instead of making a new character, I would like some clarification on some details before I can make a final call on this character.

Firstly, what exactly is an 'Archdracolich'? What are the strengths and weaknesses of this race?

How much does this darkness energy obscure his form when in draconic form? 'Not immediately obvious' doesn't fully explain how, or if, this form is possible to be seen through it. How powerful is this dragon breath, both in his draconic form, and in his human one? How much mana does it take? How strong is his zveihander, and how much mana does it take to summon it? Again, 'a small amount of mana' isn't specific enough to get a true feel for it. What weaknesses and strengths does this weapon have being formed of darkness energy instead of being a standard, element-aligned weapon? Being summoned from his mana, does it require a constant mana supply to be maintained, or can he use it indefinitely until dismissed? How powerful is his 'dispel undeath' spell? How much mana does it take? How strong of an undead can it dispel? How powerful is his aura, and what affect would it have on non-draconic creatures such as would be met in the RP should this character be approved?

Lastly, while I do not personally care for the ability to control darkness creatures, I will not immediately disallow it, but I would like, as with everything, clarification on this control before making a final call. How powerful is it? How much control would he have over any creatures he controls? How much concentration and energy does it take to control them in the first place? To maintain the control? Could this control be wrested from him by someone with a stronger will and greater control of his abilities than your character has?

Those are all the questions I currently have for this character. Please re-create this bio in a second post, with these details filled in, and I will, hopefully, make a final decision based on those answers. ~Gingkage


I've been RPing off and on for a while, and I finally feel up to making an RP (excluding a certain incident a few years ago...). Do you, by chance, have a format/guideline/testing ground for such a thing? (Assuming I pass this, of course!)

Let's see if I still have a knack for bios:
Source Setting: AdventureQuest

Name: Vodahmin
Gender: Male
Age Range: 1,000-1,200
Race (Pure or halfbreed only): Archdracolich (or would that just be dragon with an Archlich subspecies)

Appearance (Build, hair, skin, clothes...): As a dragon, his body is, unlike a regular dracolich, composed of solid bone, from the muscles to the spiny scales. This is not immediately obvious, however, as the onlooker would only see his shape, cloaked in vast radiant darkness energy, and his red glowing eyes. He's a little large for a dragon, roughly 50 feet long (I based the measurements off of Inheritance's Glaedr. I was going to do Shuriken until I realized how unbelievably massive he was), and supports more Bahamut-ish Features: a more serpentine body, semi-quadrupedal legs that can stand upright but he prefers being on all fours, a much longer tail for balance, and four thinner longer wings. He usually travels and fights in a "human" form, however, that resembles an intricate white heavy-plate armor with large, spiny pauldrons, a close-faced helm with many crests and horns, and a Long, black, double-layer black cloak. He stands about seven feet tall, and is built very heavily on the ches and shoulder region. His red eyes can be seen in the helm's eyes.

Belongings: Vodhamin has no need too carry items, as he can sustain himself off the land like any wild dragon can.

Personality: Vodhamin is bold and self confident, though his experience has tamed his Draconic arrogance. Despite his size, those around him would characterize him as quiet and thoughtful, preferring to listen over speaking, and speaking only after careful thought. As any dragon worth his salt, he loves battle, and relishes conflict, especially a challenging one, with great delight.

History: Originally named Buruk Garah, Vodahmin was a bold and brash youth, constantly clashing with other dragons to prove his worth. After a rather brutal loss, Buruk traveled Lore hunting and consuming lesser orbs of Darkness and other dark artifacts. This led him to conflict with many necromancers, one of which proved more than he could handle. Brought back as a nameless dracolich, Buruk had one thing to his advantage: the necromancer had underestimated his power and thus left him with more free will than he realized. And so, Buruk Garah continued his quest, though now with some amount of stealth so as not to alert his 'master' to his schemes. He also began to consume other dracolichs, freeing their souls and adding their power to his own. Eventually, his power became such that he was able to consume his own master, completing his transformation into the Archdracolich Vodahmin.

Now, later in his life, he witnessed the rise and fall of the legendary Dragon King. This event enamored him, and he came to believe that, should all dragons unite under one king, a golden age would come to dragonkind. As such, Vodahmin began searching for the dragonking's axe, believing that, with it's power, he could call together the great leaders of his people and work to form a government, an empire of dragons. Currently he searches the world, hoping to find this artifact and unite his people.

Skills, spells and abilities (if applicable):Vodahmin is a skilled tracker, warrior, and hunter, as most dragons are by instinct. He possesses Dragon Breath of the darkness element tinged with necromantic corruption which he can summon in human form via dracomancy. He can summon a common zveihander of pure darkness energy for a small amount of mana. He also has a full array of necromantic spells at his disposal, though he has sworn never to use them unless to free a trapped soul, so his only available spell is 'dispel undeath'. He also, as a dragon, possesses an aura that inspires fear and, as a darkness dragon, can breath in shadows and control lesser darkness creatures, though he's never utilized this power and thus could only do so with the weak willed ones.

It's been a while since I did one, and rules, though I checked and didn't notice any, may have changed. Also, I've noticed I have a tendency to start out a little overpowered and need a little help from the person in charge to tone it down a notch. As such, feel free to be as nitpicky or harsh as necessary, for I view all criticism as an opportunity for growth. Thank you for your help, and I look forward too the challenge!

Edit: Also I realize I may have made your job more difficult with my particular species type. I will happily change it, I just like experimenting with new, varied, and experimental character types. I'm sorry if I've made your life any harder, I just wanted to experiment.

< Message edited by Gingkage -- 3/13/2017 19:39:53 >
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 13
3/14/2017 11:49:48   
brotherinlaw
Member

I'll approve this, but as you noted in your above post, you have made an extremely powerful character. I've noticed in my personal writing experiences, on and off the forums, however, that power levels are difficult to judge as the same character can be perfectly balanced in one story and over or underpowered in another. As such, I would like for you to keep a very close eye on how your characters, in this and other roleplays, plays off of other people's characters and use those other characters as a form of checks and balances, as currently, there is a very real chance of your character being overpowered for The Dreamtime.

Other than that, I see no obvious flags that would make me deny this character and request a new one. Welcome to step 2. ~Gingkage


Thank you for your help and input!

Ugh, my instincts from years on the forums are screaming at me not to double post.

Anywho, rather than forcing you to search through the whole bio, I'll make the changes and point out what I changed in red.

Source Setting: AdventureQuest

Name: Vodahmin
Gender: Male
Age Range: 1,000-1,200
Race (Pure or halfbreed only): Archdracolich (dragon with an Archlich subspecies)Based off what I know from DF and AQ lore, an archlich is an undead composite of many beings into one, new lich. This is why, though the personality and mind behind Vodahmin are his own, he changed his name to remember those he consumed to become who he is now. He is now far more durable than his skeletal cousins, and no longer can be controlled by mere necromancers. However, as he had to consume his master and his phylactery too finish his transformation, he will die if destroyed.

Appearance (Build, hair, skin, clothes...): As a dragon, his body is, unlike a regular dracolich, composed of solid bone, from the muscles to the spiny scales. This is not obvious, however, as the onlooker would only see his shape, completely cloaked in vast radiant darkness energy, and his red glowing eyes. He's a little large for a dragon, roughly 50 feet long (I based the measurements off of Inheritance's Glaedr. I was going to do Shuriken until I realized how unbelievably massive he was), and supports more Bahamut-ish Features: a more serpentine body, semi-quadrupedal legs that can stand upright but he prefers being on all fours, a much longer tail for balance, and four thinner longer wings. He usually travels and fights in a "human" form, however, that resembles an intricate white heavy-plate armor with large, spiny pauldrons, a close-faced helm with many crests and horns, and a Long, black, double-layer black cloak. He stands about seven feet tall, and is built very heavily on the ches and shoulder region. His red eyes can be seen in the helm's eyes. He will revert to dragon form if severely injured in human form. it's now stated that he is completely enveloped in the dark energy and will revert back if dammaged

Belongings: Vodhamin has no need too carry items, as he can sustain himself off the land like any wild dragon can.

Personality: Vodhamin is bold and self confident, though his experience has tamed his Draconic arrogance. Despite his size, those around him would characterize him as quiet and thoughtful, preferring to listen over speaking, and speaking only after careful thought. As any dragon worth his salt, he loves battle, and relishes conflict, especially a challenging one, with great delight.

History: Originally named Buruk Garah, Vodahmin was a bold and brash youth, constantly clashing with other dragons to prove his worth. After a rather brutal loss, Buruk traveled Lore hunting and consuming lesser orbs of Darkness and other dark artifacts. This led him to conflict with many necromancers, one of which proved more than he could handle. Brought back as a nameless dracolich, Buruk had one thing to his advantage: the necromancer had underestimated his power and thus left him with more free will than he realized. And so, Buruk Garah continued his quest, though now with some amount of stealth so as not to alert his 'master' to his schemes. He also began to consume other dracolichs, freeing their souls and adding their power to his own. Eventually, his power became such that he was able to consume his own master, completing his transformation into the Archdracolich Vodahmin.

Now, later in his life, he witnessed the rise and fall of the legendary Dragon King. This event enamored him, and he came to believe that, should all dragons unite under one king, a golden age would come to dragonkind. As such, Vodahmin began searching for the dragonking's axe, believing that, with it's power, he could call together the great leaders of his people and work to form a government, an empire of dragons. Currently he searches the world, hoping to find this artifact and unite his people.

Skills, spells and abilities (if applicable):Vodahmin is a skilled tracker, warrior, and hunter, as most dragons are by instinct. He possesses a natural Dragon Breath of the darkness element tinged with necromantic corruption which he can summon in human form via dracomancy for 10% of his mana. He can summon a common zveihander construct of pure darkness energy for a 2% mana loss. He also has a full array of necromantic spells at his disposal, though he has sworn never to use them unless to free a trapped soul, so his only available spell is 'dispel undeath'. With this, he can dispel any undead whom the soul within is willing, though he can not dispel any unwilling undead. He also, as a dragon, possesses an aura that inspires fear and, as a darkness dragon, can breath in shadows and naturally attracts servants of darkness to him.
1. His breath is a natural weapon of his race, so it takes up stamina, not mana. However, as he has no mouth in his human form, he summons a a draconic rune that shoots it for 10% of his mana. It's about as powerfull as any dragon's breath, whatever that means. 2. His weapon is merely a construct, with slightly less durability than an actuall steel sword, but an edge much sharper than the hands of man can make. The low mana cost is so that, should one break, he can just summon a second one or dual wield. 3. He can only use Dispel Undeath on any whose the soul within is willing to be dispelled. 4. The aura is just the aura of the planets apex predator and, as such, triggers the survival instinct of all other creatures. a sufficiently strong will can resist it, though only Dragonslayers, who have gone through training to subvert and even use this instinct to track their prey, are immune. In human form this would be mostly suppressed, merely making people near him uncomfortable and giving people the impression of being a powerfull badass. 5. I actually changed his ability from controlling to attracting darkness creatures. Years of being at the top of the food chain have made dragons naturals in recruiting and inspiring lesser creatures to serving them and given those creatures a natural instinct to follow and obey such creatures. Their reaction to being controlled by another or forced to fight Vodahmin would vary based on their view of Darkness dragons, from it being an unfortunate turn of events to being forced to fight their god. This would naturally cause problems for the one controlling them.

I hope I answered all your questions. I might have missed one or misunderstood the meaning of another but, as far as I can tell, I've addressed all the issues. I look forward to your response!

< Message edited by Gingkage -- 4/9/2017 22:37:43 >
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 14
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