1. You will have to be a pretty high rank to use it, so start making that breakfast!
   
   • Thought this referred to BaconCat Rep (due to making breakfast), but nothing really matches. Mainly due to clue 2. Although the flying cat saucer helm matches the other clues.
   
   
2. Sometimes you have to spend a lot of gold to get a lot of gold.
   
   • Thought of items with "One Million Gold Showers animation", but they're all rare and none of them are involved with rank.
     
   • Thought of Alchemy Rep, since you make gold with alchemy, but nothing to do with landing when there's a problem.

spoiler:

Kalestri Cutlass

quote:

This will be handy for the coming Mogloween! I'm not sure but I think this might be Ausome. If you have to Wander around a lot, maybe you should get a horse, though you'd need to keep it in a stable. Man or his best friend, either will keep you company if you get lost.

spoiler:

This is my answer. Description mentions it can hurt ghosts and incorporeal spirits, which could make it handy for the coming Mogloween since ghosts are a monster often associated with that holiday. Ausome, AU is gold element and the axe is golden and also could be sold for gold. The next part of the riddle refers to its location as well as the damage range of this weapon. It's found in the wanders map and has a stable range 27-33. The one in image has level 78 enhancements. Finally the last part refers to the monster it drops from, which is the Kalestri Hound. Hound = Dog and a dog is referred to as man's best friend.

spoiler:

My answer (Sir Valence's Longshot)
Hidden away under lock and key, --- Item obtained from Lionfang's vaults.
this will not be useful to the one who owns it. --- Not sure.
Luckily, they'll give it to you if you retrieve it. --- Bought for 0 AC
Sometimes it's best to just attack from a distance, --- Is a ranged weapon, a bow (but is a gun in-game ???)
or from a really long distance in this case. --- Item has exceptional range, as per item desciprtion
You might want to clean it off first, just in case. --- Not sure, perhaps to do with the dirtiness and venom of the map, venom vaults.
Can't be 100% accurate, so expect some variation in your hits. --- Weapon has 27-33 damage range.

spoiler:

My answer (Eternal Battlestar)
If you have a reputation for tripping over things in this dimension, good luck! --- Item is in the 4D Rep Shop. So Rep + extra dimension.
That's something that will stick with you forever. --- It's eternal.
Some things are the same as they used to be, --- Description says heroes remain heroes.
but some things are heading in a different direction. --- Description says gods used to have animal heads
How many times does 7 go into 25? --- Item requires rank 7 eternal and costs 25,000 Gold.

spoiler:

My answer (Crossblades of the Fire Dragon)
Why have one when you can have two! --- Two weapons on back.
But you'll need to add them to get it. --- Combination of "FireDragon's Guile" and "Brute Strength"
You should always be prepared to go out into the elements. --- Part of Dragonhame, which is a plot related to the elemental dragons.
One Mr. Burns and his trusty sidekick Smothers probably can help you with that. --- Reference to Mr. Burns and Smithers from the Simpsons, parodying the shop name of Smothers and the item being associated with fire.
The price, though, is a bit of cash out of your pocket --- Costs 10,000 Gold. not a lot, but a bit of cash.
and a stride that may make you look like a pigeon. --- Pigeons typically strut, which is how wielders of this item are described to walk.