Home  | Login  | Register  | Help  | Play 

The Godless Age Discussion

 
Logged in as: Guest
  Printable Version
All Forums >> [Gaming Community] >> [Legends and Lore] >> Writers of Lore >> Works Discussion >> Other Creative Works Discussion >> The Godless Age Discussion
Forum Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
6/28/2014 8:19:14   
#legend179#
Member

Questions, comments, or concerns? Please list them below!
DF  Post #: 1
6/28/2014 17:38:42   
  Master Samak
Productive!
Steward Leprechaun
L&L


Hello there, #legend179#!

1.
quote:

The world of Aldmoor is in ruins. An empire, leaderless for the first time in centuries. An entire race, eradicated over a lone mans anger.
There ought to be an apostrophe between "man" and "s", showing that the anger belongs to the man.

2.
quote:

But their are magics, dark magics from places beyond the gods' reach, that only grew stronger in their absence.
The bolded word "their" should be its homophone "there". The word "their" is possessive, which doesn't make sense in the beginning part of the sentence.

And, last thing, I have a question about the Trisummit Tribunal. It's designed to keep peace between three different kingdoms, right, but you listed eight kingdoms/empires afterwards. How do they fit with the Tribunal, if at all?

It looks fine, though. So far it is a nice explanation of what the world of the story will be like. Feel free to add more detail that can make it clear to the reader, and I hope to see you posting again soon!
AQ DF  Post #: 2
6/29/2014 13:32:28   
#legend179#
Member

Thanks for pointing those out!
The Trisummit Tribunal is comprised of leaders from the three main world powers (Telmora, Oldiron and Emberoak) who reside in the capital of Aderalith and make choices for it, as well as their kingdoms. Akatar fell into ruins and became an un-ruled wasteland. Draviria and Kythros both cut contact with the other kingdoms, and never leave their homelands.
I hope that helps. :)

< Message edited by #legend179# -- 6/29/2014 13:37:54 >
DF  Post #: 3
Page:   [1]
All Forums >> [Gaming Community] >> [Legends and Lore] >> Writers of Lore >> Works Discussion >> Other Creative Works Discussion >> The Godless Age Discussion
Jump to:






Icon Legend
New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Forum Content Copyright © 2018 Artix Entertainment, LLC.

"AdventureQuest", "DragonFable", "MechQuest", "EpicDuel", "BattleOn.com", "AdventureQuest Worlds", "Artix Entertainment"
and all game character names are either trademarks or registered trademarks of Artix Entertainment, LLC. All rights are reserved.
PRIVACY POLICY


Forum Software © ASPPlayground.NET Advanced Edition