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(DF) Oddball's Tale Discussion!

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9/14/2011 15:48:30   
Oddball
Member

So guys, Decided to FINALLY get round to starting my L&L project, It can be found here!

Note: This is the first story I have written in a LONG time.. So bear with me if I'm a bit rusty :3


Edited title to make clear which game it's about. ~DD

< Message edited by Dwelling Dragonlord -- 8/20/2012 15:20:08 >
AQ DF AQW Epic  Post #: 1
9/14/2011 15:58:04   
Shadows Morgenstern
Member

Bloody hell Oddball! Rusty? You LIE! But seriously though you have some good talent Oddball! Cant wait to read the rest!

< Message edited by Shadows Fear -- 9/17/2011 21:15:44 >

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DF  Post #: 2
9/14/2011 16:02:51   
Oddball
Member

Haha.. Thanks Bro :3
Will probably get 'round to starting part 2 tomorrow, If I have the time
AQ DF AQW Epic  Post #: 3
9/14/2011 16:49:35   
aizenv3
Banned


 The part when the person was
quote:

I didn't kill your mother...it was...
and then he got killed was like that part in Scary Movie 4 o.0

Well, it's epic Oddball! Got any ideas to put anime references
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 4
9/14/2011 20:50:02   
nield
Creative!


 Well, Hello there oddity of the round rolling objects! A wee bit short, with a few errors here and there, but it has potential.
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 5
9/14/2011 21:11:05   
Shadow Ravena
Paladin of Shadows


 Nice! I like it, can't see any errors (with my grammer, no surprise) and certainly grabs your attention. If thats rusty, I can;t wait to see what else you'll do!
AQ DF AQW Epic  Post #: 6
9/15/2011 13:13:49   
Oddball
Member

@Aizen Strange.. I've never watched Scary Movie 4 xD.. and Oh Yes. Expect anime references, Quite a few of them

Thanks for all the feedback guys, Appreciate it

< Message edited by Oddball -- 9/15/2011 13:16:08 >
AQ DF AQW Epic  Post #: 7
9/17/2011 19:50:07   
Oddball
Member

Just popping in and letting those people who care know.
Part 2 of my prologue will be up somewhen between now, or at the very latest, early tomorrow morning ^^
AQ DF AQW Epic  Post #: 8
9/17/2011 19:53:38   
Shadows Morgenstern
Member

Part two! Cant wait! *sits cross legged and eats some cupcakes* I'm waaaaaiiiiiiiting! =P

< Message edited by Shadows Fear -- 9/17/2011 21:11:59 >
DF  Post #: 9
9/17/2011 21:00:29   
Oddball
Member

Notice: Part 2 is LIVE!, It's a bit larger then the last part, and a new character is introduced! :D

What will this bring for our story? WHO KNOWS!?
AQ DF AQW Epic  Post #: 10
9/17/2011 21:15:22   
Shadows Morgenstern
Member

I knew that the young lad was you Odd! But man, you know how to set a mood! I cant wait for the rest of your tale! Keep up the good work bro!

P.S. That Shadows guy is sexy. XD
DF  Post #: 11
9/17/2011 22:02:27   
Oddball
Member

Surprise!
Ninja'd part 3 in there while nobody was looking

In this addition to our story, PLOT!

YAAAAAAY!
AQ DF AQW Epic  Post #: 12
9/17/2011 23:54:54   
Mortarion
Member

Nice story spherical thing made of odness
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 13
9/18/2011 7:38:58   
Oddball
Member

xD Shadows

And thankies to both of you! :3 I know the parts aren't very long, but remember. This is only the prologue

AQ DF AQW Epic  Post #: 14
9/18/2011 8:49:56   
Oddball
Member

And then suddenly PART 4 :P

In this part.. MOAR PLOT,
and a lead up to a fight scene!
AQ DF AQW Epic  Post #: 15
9/18/2011 10:07:15   
Shadows Morgenstern
Member

Undead...God Knows why they are attacking! =P Anyway FIGHT SCENE WANT!

P.S. You dang ninja! XD
DF  Post #: 16
9/18/2011 11:40:14   
Oddball
Member

Final part is LIVE! WOOOOO!

This concludes the Prologue, what will happen now? Only God Knows!

Also.. look out for those anime references! :D
AQ DF AQW Epic  Post #: 17
9/18/2011 15:41:57   
Cataclysm
The fanciest of moustaches


 I see mostly cosmetic changes, though the frequency with which you end dialogue without punctuation is certainly jarring. I'm also not quite sure why you have the speaking attribution (i.e. Fred said) on a separate line. Just a random example I'm copy+pasting:

quote:

"Hey, I was going to eat that"

Odd whined at Shadows


Should be:

quote:

"Hey, I was going to eat that," Odd whined at Shadows.


(exclamation point instead of comma is a plausible option here)

Grammatical issues aside (they're one of my pet peeves when it comes to stories), it looks like the start of something interesting. I wonder where this'll take us... I suspect somewhere good, no doubt. I've got a sneaking suspicion of some plot details, but I'll abstain from posting anything in regards to that. Good job so far, and I feel like it will only end up getting better.
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 18
9/18/2011 16:59:49   
Oddball
Member

It's how I write mah stories TCO :P, Everything I do seems to be Odd

AQ DF AQW Epic  Post #: 19
9/18/2011 17:11:22   
Shadow Ravena
Paladin of Shadows


 *whistles* thats a lot of chapters Odd! Well written, and nice, we get some plot!
Shadows is... interesting. My main curiousity is were he got that power of his... and why teleporting/whatever that was 1 other person hurt him so much
AQ DF AQW Epic  Post #: 20
9/18/2011 17:44:50   
aizenv3
Banned
quote:

Also.. look out for those anime references! :D


Hellyea. Just watched FMA:Brotherhood finale so I'm in need for more anime
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 21
9/19/2011 2:41:05   
Oddball
Member

@Tiger You'll learn a LOT more about Shadows when the time rolls up -Evil Laugh-
@Aizen Moar anime references ON THE WAY! :3

Also, quick notice.. parts wont be up pretty much everyday nao, School an' stuff
AQ DF AQW Epic  Post #: 22
9/25/2011 15:14:52   
Oddball
Member

Chapter 1 is GO!. Can't believe it's been a week since I last updated. ._.

Anyway, Sorry it's a bit short.. I'm short on time and I want too at least get a part out every week

In this installment. Stuff happens, that's about it
AQ DF AQW Epic  Post #: 23
9/28/2011 4:37:19   
Shadows Morgenstern
Member

I'm getting the feeling that Rayne could be trouble.....XD Dude seriously this tale is going to be AMAZING!
DF  Post #: 24
10/1/2011 14:04:04   
raylas
Member

Loving it. It's a little short in parts, but it's gonna be AWSOMENESS.

Oh, and I have to say if you include a fight scene it's gonna break the epic meter in half like a dry twig. That being said, there are some errors in spelling, I also don't care about that in the least. Still aweshum...
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 25
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