Musings of a Warrior's Mind [Comments]: NEW! "Failure" (Full Version)

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Beebote -> Musings of a Warrior's Mind [Comments]: NEW! "Failure" (9/25/2008 15:00:33)



WELCOME


Welcome to the comments thread for "Musings of a Warrior's Mind". Feel free to comment, critique, disect, or analyze to your hearts content. I really want to see how you react to my poetry. The link to my poetry is the banner; or, you can click here.

For starters, I'll leave little "summaries" of each poem I write here so you can see what was going through my mind as I wrote these verses. Please read the actual poems first before the summaries.

~Beebote
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The Eve of Battle Form: Freeform
This poem is one of the poems that best represents a warrior mindset, and is theme behind my choice for the thread's title: "Musings of a Warrior Mind". It's the classic "night before" on the battlefeild. The army has soundly thrashed the enemy and celebrate's the day's victory, looking forward for round two the following morning.

Futility Form: Ballad
This little poem comes out of personal experience, as I have had to do exactly what the "young lad" is doing. It's title is a reflection of what the poor guy in the poem is doing. Picture a town in the middle of the desert. A mild sandstorm has kicked up. In front of one house is a young boy with a broom, sweeping sand off the steps in the middle of the sandstorm; an exercise in futility.

The Villain's Villanelle Form: Villanelle
I've always loved the Villanelle because of its complexity. This particularly dark poem is based off of the title's play on words. A Villanelle requires a lot of planning and forethought before putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard, in this case). To write one successfully, you have to pick your two rhymes very carefully, since you can only use those two for all six stanzas. On top of that, the first and last lines of the first stanza must be used as the last line(s) of every stanza to follow. A Villanelle is also most commonly (though not exclusively) in iambic pentameter. More information on the form can be found here, Wiki's Villanelle article.

The Narrative Form: Freeform
This rather abstract poem is a stylized description of the creative writing process. The first stanza is the author getting his inspiration. The second, the creative drive that, in my own experience, can keep the author up into the wee hours of the morning scribbling and scratching ideas out on paper; sifting through the images in his mind to organize them into a coherent story. The last one is essentially the same as the first, with small changes, and describes the result of the author's efforts: a successful story that captures the reader's imagination.

The 5 Haikus of Boredom Form: Haiku
This lighthearted series of Haikus was actually penned on the back of a college class syllabus, while I was waiting for the professor to dismiss the class. It's pretty self explanatory; a simple stream of consciousness put to verse.

Spondee March Form: Free Verse
To be honest, this was an experiment. In my literary experience, I have never come across any poetry rooted in spondee, so I decided to write one to see how it would sound. Taking from my military experience, I wrote a cadence that one might hear chanted by an army as it moves to its next objective. To get the sound right, tap your foot at a marching pace and read a syllable with each beat. I'd love to hear your thoughts and feedback on this poem.

The Tragedy of Godfrey Weatherby Form: Ballad
This poem is the story of an oracle and prophet named Godfrey Weatherby. The protagonist lives in a tower on an isolated chain of islands. As such, the main industry is fishing, whaling, and other sea-related trades. Godfrey, to obtain his powers, swore an oath to the gods that he would only reveal the fate of those who came, but not the way their fate could be altered.

The Seasons Form: Haiku
These four haikus individually describe each season. They are, of course, taken from my opinions. Everyone has their favorite and least-favorite seasons. I think it's easy to see which I dislike the most.

Conver Gent and Diver Gent Form: Free Form (modified Ballad)
This poem came out of a sociological discussion I had recently, discussing two different thought processes: Divergent and Convergent. I anthropomorphized these two ideals and made them the main characters in the semi-humorous story of two brothers who hold a slightly different opinions about how to get to the next town.

Sacred Secrets Form: Free Verse
Personally, I find it hard to write free verse; so I challenged myself to write one, just to prove to myself I could. I comitted a poetic no-no while writing this one: the first stanza was written before I had decided on a theme. *Le Gasp!* But, as soon as the last line of that stanza appeared, I knew what I was writing and the rest flowed from there. What is it about? I'll let the reader decypher that.

Passing Form: Villanelle
This one I wrote a few years back and recently dug it up while going through some old files on my computer. It is pretty self explanatory, so there's not much to say, other than this was the very first villanelle I wrote after discovering the form.

The Towers Stood Tall Form: Freeform
One day, seven years ago, a great American symbol was destoyed by the actions of a few determined men acting on the orders of the Al Qaeda terrorist network. This poem is dedicated to the men and women who lost their lives on that terrible day, to their families, to the heroic men and women who risked their lives in the aftermath, and to the city whose face has been altered forever.
Also, a personal dedication to Todd Beamer, from a grateful country, community, and friend. "Let's Roll!"

Failure Form: Free Verse
This poem is a stream of consciousness, arrising from one of the darkest moments in my life. There was no editing or use of a thesaurus. It is simply my thoughts in print. It has often been said the authors produce their best works during a time of personal crisis. I don't know if it's my best, or even one of my better ones, but it did come from a personal crisis. For those who may be concerned, the crisis passed and all is well with the world.




.::oDrew -> RE: Musings of a Warrior's Mind [Comments] (10/5/2008 20:26:46)

Your poems are quite excellent; frankly, I believe they're among some of the best I've read here in L&L recently. However, I would try expanding your vocabulary and possibly subject matter a bit - I realize that many of your poems are supposed to sound "old-timey," but others seem like they shouldn't, and wind up just feeling dated.

To put it simply, I would enjoy seeing a poem about what you might be thinking and feeling, written with language that is current and more accessible.

Once again, great stuff so far.




Beebote -> RE: Musings of a Warrior's Mind [Comments]: NEW! "Failure" (12/19/2008 0:51:26)

New poem up! Again, please read the poem before the summary.




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