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.Discipline -> RE: Purple Person Eater's C&C Thread (11/30/2008 19:14:38)
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You seem to be starting off in poetry the same way I did. Picking a word out and giving it a long and deep definition through verse. I like it.
Your flow is off in several places, you need to set line/syllable limits or codes and adhere to them to help you maintain perfect flow, so the reader doesn't become distracted.
What I would like to see from you next is some abstract poetry. Instead of picking a subject, try letting two or three themes flow into each other with elegance, if you do that, I can almost guarantee you will create inhuman beauty. You have the power! Now go forth and use it, young Personater!
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