Issue 42 - The Number 42 (Cow Face) (Full Version)

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Eukara Vox -> Issue 42 - The Number 42 (Cow Face) (5/4/2009 15:50:25)

The Number 42
By Cow Face

BATTLEON, LORE (TZ) - In the strangely secure town of Battleon, the one inn that everyone knows about is Yulgar's. Established in the era of STA*, this fine building is a resting place for Adventurers and Guardians alike. The patrons have few complaints, and the rooms are free! Among the regulars are such notables as Robina the Hood, Blackhawke, and Sage Uldor, so you can be sure that there will always be plenty to do. Only one thing could diminish the atmosphere of safety and fun here: the presence of evil lurking behind a door.

In the upstairs floor of Yulgar's Inn, there are two mysterious doors. One leads to the showers. It has long been known that showering is dangerous**. If you try to get a shower around Battleon, you will be attacked by a multi-tentacled Kraken who will try to eat you. That, however, is no mystery, so we can scratch off one mysterious door. The true mystery is that of the second door... marked 42. Many rumors have originated about this door, some strange, some insidious, some just plain silly. To get a better idea of what might actually be behind this mysterious egress, I decided to ask the locals.

"I try not to think about it, really. It's always been there, as long as I can remember. Yulgar and I have kind of a 'don't-ask-don't-tell' policy concerning that thing. What's behind it? I don't know, and I don't know if I want to know, you know? Probably something scary, like a Frogzard with ReignBringer." - Hans, Yulgar's Apprentice and Hopeless Romantic

"Why did I build that door? I can't remember... It seems like someone told me to do it, some mysterious force. Just don't open it, we have no idea what might be behind it. Some say it contains the answer to Life, the Universe and Everything, which might explain why it is locked, bolted, and duct taped shut. But do we really want to know the ultimate Answer, the ultimate Truth? We want the truth, but we can't handle the truth!" - Yulgar, Innkeeper, Weaponsmith and Owner of Place With Strange Doors

"I say it is a cupboard going to a magical kingdom called 'Marmia' where you meet someone with human legs and the torso of a goat, and help an Ice Queen in her war against the magical talking animals who are trying to take over Marmia." - Chaddledee, Foron and Captain of S.S. Copyright Infringer

Having carefully examined these three theories, I have come up with my own. I believe that behind this door, the most epic, uber and even ubear set of items exists. What else could answer every question there is?*** The only thing I can think of is senseless violence. As of this moment, I have assembled a crack team of demolitions experts to get past the locks and fetters on the door, that we may find this armor.
This is Cow Face, saying goodb

BATTLEON, LORE (TZ) - Zardian Author-in-Training discovered behind door in Yulgar's Inn! Reason unknown, the AiT declined to comment, instead saying, "Mommymommymommyhelpme." Construction crew nearby maintained that he opened the door and stormed in, regardless of warnings. We at The Zardian will keep you posted.
__________
* Some Time Ago
** This is even true on Lore, not just Terra!
*** Besides the number 42




Chaddledee -> RE: Issue 42 - The Number 42 (Cow Face) (5/5/2009 16:17:30)

:D
I'm in that issue. See that? Right there? No, no, you aren't looking close enough.
quote:

Chaddledee, Foron and Captain of S.S. Copyright Infringer
There. Now do you see it? :DDD




LordAidan -> RE: Issue 42 - The Number 42 (Cow Face) (5/5/2009 16:25:35)

Why are you in there? And I thought the "Marmia" thing was funny. Maybe I will make a quest for it in my suggestion thread.




Cow Face -> RE: Issue 42 - The Number 42 (Cow Face) (5/6/2009 12:36:18)

He's in there because he was the first to PM me with a long enough theory (in this case, via IRC) when I asked if anyone had a theory for what's behind the Door of 42. This is probably going to be an ongoing thing in my CC articles. I need truthiness!




Dragyfyre -> RE: Issue 42 - The Number 42 (Cow Face) (5/12/2009 19:19:02)

Theres also a 42 in Yulgars inn in AQW, and remember:

You can get INN but you cant get OUT

Lulz XD

and well maybye the answer to the universe IS there, its just hidden, and my other guess is like a parrellel dimension where us (adventurers and guardians) are evil!!1[sm=SpratCC.gif][sm=fantastisch_05.gif][sm=6r83v6.gif]




Necromander -> RE: Issue 42 - The Number 42 (Cow Face) (5/12/2009 21:29:18)

Well, the 42 room holds the hair/skin alteration room in AQW...

Perhaps this means the meaning of life is Change?




ArchMagus Orodalf -> RE: Issue 42 - The Number 42 (Cow Face) (5/13/2009 19:22:59)

Note that 42 is not the Meaning of Life; it is the Answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything. It is also not the Reason.




Aklyon -> RE: Issue 42 - The Number 42 (Cow Face) (5/19/2009 23:15:48)

but what is the question, orodalf?




roguesdoit -> RE: Issue 42 - The Number 42 (Cow Face) (5/21/2009 0:09:09)

Cow Face:
Where DID you hire that crack team? I wanna see it (the answer) too!






megakyle777 -> RE: Issue 42 - The Number 42 (Cow Face) (5/21/2009 10:42:10)

I MUST know the answer of what is behind the 42 door!

Is It any of the following:

1.A Paralel universe?

2. A good Zorbak?

3. A world ruled by Paladins?

4. A Uber set of items?

5. The meaning of Life, the universe and everything?

6. Your worst nightmare?

7. The sheer force of Doom Itself?

8. An unstoppable being of imemse desctuctive power?

9. A Army of Zombie Robot Ninja Pirate Cowboy Doomkights?

10. A World where it is constatly Valentine's day?


Cow Face, If you are there, let it be known that... I WILL KNOW THE TRUTH!




smbdoll -> RE: Issue 42 - The Number 42 (Cow Face) (5/21/2009 10:52:30)

Megakyle777, perhaps the answer is:

11. All of the above.

That would be: My worst nightmare, a parallel universe where Zorbak is good and the world is ruled by Paladins who wear an Uber set of items and use the sheer force of Doom itself to create an unstoppable being of imense destructive power to lead an army of zombie robot ninja pirate cowboy doomknights. Thier aim is to create a perpetual state of Valentines day so that they will continually be seen as heros on Hero's Heart day.




megakyle777 -> RE: Issue 42 - The Number 42 (Cow Face) (5/21/2009 11:11:53)

To smbdoll:

Could be. But untill such time as either Cow Face gains the courage to tell of his horric incident of terror, or someone else has the courage to go there, we will never know for sure...

...Any volenteers?




Lord Asrius -> RE: Issue 42 - The Number 42 (Cow Face) (5/21/2009 23:01:42)

Also, is the article saying they found Cow Face on the other side of the door?




ArchMagus Orodalf -> RE: Issue 42 - The Number 42 (Cow Face) (5/23/2009 16:03:27)

Yup, it is.

And the Question is: "Where is Stavromula Beta?"

Though, really, only one person alive knows... and he isn't telling.




Gaurdian of Light -> RE: Issue 42 - The Number 42 (Cow Face) (5/24/2009 16:38:46)

In room 42 may be the revalution to a new era... an era of light or just an ordinary broom closet. :P[8D]





Branan -> RE: Issue 42 - The Number 42 (Cow Face) (5/25/2009 22:08:54)

Heres a question, how do u send zorbak a question?




Cow Face -> RE: Issue 42 - The Number 42 (Cow Face) (5/26/2009 9:25:10)

Roguesdoit: They were hired at 1-800-Thugs-4-Less.
smbdoll: How did you know!? Wait, smbdoll knows all. Well, I suppose the truth is out now. No more need for secrecy, because my trauma has been recognized. You now know exactly what kind of hellscape I visited... We must work on liberating the poor people! The Paladins must be stopped!
Lord Asrius: They found me leaning against the doorjam, but they didn't go in far enough to really see it.




Dragonnightwolf -> RE: Issue 42 - The Number 42 (Cow Face) (5/26/2009 14:45:49)

yeah I'd volunteer to enter door 42.





megakyle777 -> RE: Issue 42 - The Number 42 (Cow Face) (5/26/2009 14:46:26)

To Cow face: SMBDOLL WAS RIGHT? NOOOOOOOO! We must stop this Acursed plan from happening! Gather all necromaners! Call in all Doomknights! WE MUST STOP THIS NOW!

Edit: An urgent Speech:

Freinds, necromancers, and other evildoers and consipricy theroists, we have discovered the worst threat to all existence that has ever exisated. The Paladins of the world behind the 42 Door are trying something terrble, a fate that would be worse then being stuck in 10000 hells. Even though we are evil and would normaly enjoy people suffering, We cannot allow this to happen. I Propose we go through the 42 door and end this threat once and for all! WHO WILL JOIN ME? FOR DARKNESS! FOR LORE! THIS...IS...EVIL!




Lord Asrius -> RE: Issue 42 - The Number 42 (Cow Face) (5/26/2009 18:20:58)

Ah, thank you, my dear bovine countenance. That clears it up.




Reaper Sigma -> RE: Issue 42 - The Number 42 (Cow Face) (5/26/2009 19:13:20)

The meaning of Life is Death(to me). 42 is just something AQW put, maybe a joke, maybe a coincidence. We do not live to just live, we live, and die. There is no way around it, we all have to die someday......I'm such a joy, aren't I?




ArchMagus Orodalf -> RE: Issue 42 - The Number 42 (Cow Face) (5/26/2009 19:45:20)

What? 42 was invented by Douglas Adams, not Adam Bohn.




Deathwalker -> RE: Issue 42 - The Number 42 (Cow Face) (6/18/2009 9:08:44)

1) 42

2) inside the room that Cow Face was found there is a secret passage that leads to a secret door that takes you to a room with 42 secrets in it, when you find all 42 secrets a vortex opens and you find yourself in the secret moglin burial grounds, if you go as far to the left as you can go and dig you will learn the secret of the number 27

3)I didnt say "meh", and keep reading, i laughed and fell off the chair then said "meh" and kept reading





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