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Anoril -> RE: Theories of Varium: Comments (9/1/2010 8:52:03)
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That's very flattering of you, thanks.
Now I've not critiqued anything in a while, nor do I play ED, but i'll do my best.
quote:
a state that requires to food, water, or oxygen.
That's the only typo i found, i think it is 'no' not 'to'.
The style, I quite liked the multiple theories approach as it nods towards the uncertain nature of varium. If anything I think you should come up with some more theories.
I was a little perlexed by you saying varium being the only mineral that grows. You might want to distinquish Varium growing from the growing observed in crystals.
I think you should add in more science stuff, I liked the bit when you referenced the hydrogen bonding in water that causes it to be more dense in liquid form than in solid which is obviously why ice floats. Then the volume/pressure, that was good too. I think you should mention more science-y things. Remember, these are theories and set in a fictional universe which means you can create as much pseudo-science as you like, so long as it seems to make sense then you'll get away with it.
I think also you should reference the effects of varium on people (they turn into Tech Mages?) more.
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