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Fleur Du Mal -> RE: Short Stories Comments (1/12/2011 15:20:31)
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Hiya!
I liked your short story quite a bit for its style and minimalism. =) Usually, I'd suggest adding more description to the story as you didn't have much of that, but in a way I can see this particular theme working quite well even without it as having next to no description ties the whole thing inside the character's head.
What I was hoping to see was some sort of clue on why the character felt as (s)he did. His/her parents seemed to be present, the siblings were outgoing, but why was (s)he feeling as much of an outsider? There's no light given on that, and that is a factor that makes it more difficult to get inside the character's head and really understand, really feel for him/her.
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