RE: (DF/HS) Library of Shadows (Full Version)

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Shadow Ravena -> RE: (DF/HS) Library of Shadows (5/27/2011 19:27:59)

because she didn't see them as lies, she thought Shadow was lying to her (having no real reason to believe her... would you take the word of a known criminal?)




Mortarion -> RE: (DF/HS) Library of Shadows (5/27/2011 19:30:01)

If he/she saved my life and I didn't had proves, yes




Shadow Ravena -> RE: (DF/HS) Library of Shadows (6/5/2011 9:36:02)

annoncing move of disscusion of Raven's Shadow here. Frankly, it will make it easier for me to track down one thread, and as the two stories are somewhat intertwined it makes sense.

also, the story is nearly all earased by now, I'm starting over eventually. I've decided I can't write a villianess, and am not sure yet what to do with her




Shadow Ravena -> RE: (DF/HS) Library of Shadows (8/19/2011 22:52:14)

Raven's Shadow has a new start, and hopefully a new chapter soon. That is if anyone is still reading this [8D]

edit: new chapter as promised




Mortarion -> RE: (DF/HS) Library of Shadows (8/19/2011 23:01:25)

Oh I am still here, watching....




Mritha -> RE: (DF/HS) Library of Shadows (8/24/2011 14:55:21)

Of course I am still reading! :D Been busy with college so this was the first opportunity I had to reply.

I really liked the interaction with Ma'at, and the meaning behind her name. I also noticed quite a few Teen Titan references in there ;)




Mortarion -> RE: (DF/HS) Library of Shadows (8/24/2011 15:07:31)

quote:

I really liked the interaction with Ma'at, and the meaning behind her name. I also noticed quite a few Teen Titan references in there ;)


Now wich story are whe talking here now, you got me lost




Shadow Ravena -> RE: (DF/HS) Library of Shadows (8/24/2011 22:34:10)

@Mort Raven's Shadow- Raven's dragon's name is Ma'at
@Mirtha glad to hear! Collage certainly comes first, so I understand. I was wondering if anyone would get the Titan references, I could not resitst mentioning them- having a character that can break the fourth wall if nice ;)

@below Ma'at is the egyptian god of Truth, Justice, and mainly Order (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maat). Since she is the only god of justice, I used her to name my dragon




Mortarion -> RE: (DF/HS) Library of Shadows (8/24/2011 22:37:47)

Ahh, and what's the meaning of Ma'at?




Dwelling Dragonlord -> RE: (DF/HS) Library of Shadows (8/25/2011 9:54:14)

quote:

*Mist swirls around you as you enter a strange and mysterious realm. You look around, and see to girls approach, one with features as dark as midnight, the other with a blackened paladin armor that oddly radiated light.*


two

oddly enough radiates light/is oddly enough radiating light

quote:

"Hello there. There is no reason to be alarmed, you are simply here to hear a tale, then can leave. No time will pass, and you are in no danger here. Think of it as a dream, only this is real."


then you can/may leave/after which you are allowed to to leave

quote:

"I can see you are intrigued by this, even as you wonder if this is some (kind of) trap. Yes, I can read minds, no, I am not reading yours, I am just a good guesser."


quote:

"I will Shadow, it is my tale, and nobody but me knows how it began like I do, much as it pains me to share it." Said the girl with the paladin armor.



quote:

I stooped to touch the floor, wall, ceiling, whatever it was, and cold, near flat metal greeted my touch.


stopped

quote:

I couldn't even hear the stomp, as their was white noise playing, which I could barely hear or distinguish it from no sound at all.


there

What is "white noise"? Do you, by any chance, mean quiet noise?

quote:

I knew after awhile I wouldn't be able to at all, my ears and brain not (even) acknowledging the sound.


a while

I was aware of the fact that I didn't feel hungry, or thirst, or hot, or cold, or ANYTHING.

hunger, thirst, warmth, cold/hungry, thirsty, warm, cold

Do not overuse "or" or "and", one time is enough.

quote:

The temperature was perfectly calibrated to what my body needed, so I didn't feel hot or cold.


it

quote:

My imagination would grew weaker with more time and usage, so I would save it healing power till later. Little did I know how vain it would be.


it's



Interesting chapter, but I have yet to figure out how this relates to your progression in the story.



quote:

In the end, I chose white and light yellow as the colors, and tried to be unique with the wind and tail choices, but as there was very few 'good' options I had to settle with some things that were a little out of sync with each other.


wing

quote:

She studied me. "I would think you are possessed, except that I sense no foreign presence in you. Hmm. I must study this and see if I can't locate the problem. Meanwhile, try looking in my eyes this time- I will try and keep your mind clear while you grow me."
I nodded, and then did as she said. Staring in the yellow, piercing eyes of my dragon had a good effect it seemed, and this time Things went without a hitch. A moment later a large dragon stood in front of me.


quote:

I then sat down and pondered my next move. I took my axe- the Doom axe- out of my pack and twirled it in my hand as I thought. "First thing, I NEED to get this thing purified, but I need to compete Artix's quests to, and that will be a pain... well, I need a darkness weapon for Zhoom's quests anyways, so I might as well keep it as is for now. Bit first, to see Ash- he looked like he wanted to flag me down earlier. After that, to the Sandsea to get my first Orb!"

Shouldering my weapon, I walked back through the portal to FalconReach, and tried to ignore the nagging feeling feeling that things were not going to go as smoothly as I had hoped and planned...


complete, But



Loki is chaotic neutral from my point of view, but anyway.

You most certainly flatter dragonkind, but I must say their while dragon's are certainly naturally intelligent wisdom comes with age.

I myself am wondering how she still knows everything about Dragonfable with the brainwashing and all, plus how you are going to make your story interesting if Raven already knows how she will need to act.





Mritha -> RE: (DF/HS) Library of Shadows (8/25/2011 12:09:40)

@DD, Just because she knows how she should act, doesn't mean she will. Unlike our character, Raven has the freedom of choice. At least, that is my theory on the matter :)




Dwelling Dragonlord -> RE: (DF/HS) Library of Shadows (8/25/2011 14:10:09)

@Mritha: I know she has got "free" will, but she is already aware of certain plottwists that make Dragonfable's story interesting.




Mortarion -> RE: (DF/HS) Library of Shadows (8/25/2011 15:21:33)

I liked this last chapter




Shadow Ravena -> RE: (DF/HS) Library of Shadows (8/25/2011 17:52:02)

@DD fixed, thanks. I know that wistom comes with age- but as Ma'at is suppose to be the level-headed of the two, I kinda needed her to be smart. That, and nearly all she said Raven was thinking, just didn't really acknowlage.
As for the tourture scene- trust me that has importance, if only to intruduce and justify her split personality.
As for knowing everything- she doesn't. She remembers litteraly only DF and the brainwashing (as DF was her mental focus, it was slightly perserved) but she still has massive amnesia. Something has to trigger her memory- like the egg hatching, up till that moment she forgot all about it, that just triggered her memory. While there will be times she knows things, it's not as though she remembers the whole game.
@Mirtha you are correct here- Raven will occassionally know what she is suppose to do, but doesn't mean she will. And when she doesn;t things get interesting to say the least. Which acually will become a main point in a few chapters. Freedom also means responsibility- and consiquances.
@DD (again) yes, it makes it more boring for her, but having to acually DO what she is suppose to keeps her busy enough.

The reason I decided to tamper with the idea of a character who knows the plot partially is mainly because thats kinda how it is for us. Raven is really my idea of what would happen is a human got sucked into a game- how they would act, what they would change, what universal laws are in place so that the plot stays the same, that sort of thing.

@Mort thanks ;)




Mortarion -> RE: (DF/HS) Library of Shadows (8/25/2011 17:56:52)

You'r welcome, but will whe see more of her other personality, and my "tradition"*, will you include other forumites?

*I ask this in every Story of the people I know [8D]




Shadow Ravena -> RE: (DF/HS) Library of Shadows (8/25/2011 18:04:54)

@Mort will we see- *walks off, has a laughing fit, and then comes back* YES! Definatly, without a doubt.
As for your second question- not yet. I may later as cameo's, but for now the story is too new.

@DD (again!) forgot this last post: http://www.howstuffworks.com/question47.htm thats white noise- similiar to quite noise, yes




Mortarion -> RE: (DF/HS) Library of Shadows (8/25/2011 18:07:56)

I knew they weren't for now, hmmmm I'd also love if you continue your other story




Shadow Ravena -> RE: (DF/HS) Library of Shadows (9/2/2011 17:49:35)

@Mort I am working on my other story, I'm just backtracking in it.

New chapter up! But, its sorta hidden. I had to re-style Shadowed Past- originally, the first half was in three parts (every thirteenth necro, then the part about my scars, then anything else I wanted to add) but I realized this would be hard to follow as timeline-wise it was all over the place (confusing even for me to figure out, and I have a list -.-) so I decided to have them all together and go lineraly. This meant adding in some chapters- onem battle 35, I need to right, and battle 23 which is up (in between the yaga and the trio IIRC). The next 13th battle (52) will be written once 35 is done.

The other reason is the fact that some of the 'scars' are a little more devistating than that- and very, VERY obvious. Therefore, trying to write around them would be annoying and confusing. This is easier.




Mortarion -> RE: (DF/HS) Library of Shadows (9/2/2011 18:09:35)

Your explication is confusing to be honest




Shadow Ravena -> RE: (DF/HS) Library of Shadows (9/2/2011 18:21:41)

which part? basically what I meant was: I was originally planning on having it in three parts, that would cause a non-linier timeline (basically the events in parts 2 and 3 would take place before parts of the first part which I have been writing) so I changed it so that all events from the three parts are writin in a linier way- example: battle 23 is after battle 13 and before battle 39 (Scar is after the yaga and before benjamin).




Mortarion -> RE: (DF/HS) Library of Shadows (9/2/2011 18:23:17)

ahhh now I understand




Shadow Ravena -> RE: (DF/HS) Library of Shadows (10/18/2011 21:27:32)

Heh, I am bad about updating this. New chapter and chapter epiloge (not story epiloge) are up in Raven's Shadow.
Mirtha, officially, that song is awesome, thanks for telling me about it!

on topic: I will work on both story's as I have insentive- if I try forcing myself to write (besides with homework) it reads like eating cardboard. I know what I'm doing, its just DOING it is my trouble (class A procracstinator!)




Mortarion -> RE: (DF/HS) Library of Shadows (10/18/2011 21:30:09)

WHo is Mirtha? I only know of Mritha......, anyway read the new chapter, but coudn't read the last one, hey could you check my comentary thread, I need help to make a decision




Shadow Ravena -> RE: (DF/HS) Library of Shadows (10/18/2011 22:45:03)

@Mort meant Mritha. The last chapter is after the one about the yaga (I went back and inserted it)

New chapter (again) this time in Shadowed Past. Its also a few posts back- its after Jaspar. Thats the last one hiding, I promise!




Mortarion -> RE: (DF/HS) Library of Shadows (10/19/2011 5:14:05)

I knew, I was just joking :P




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