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DeathGuard -> RE: Black Eye Commentrary (3/11/2012 22:52:08)
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Hey, nice story!
I liked how the story starts progressing, I'm still asking myself who is Tranqui? It seems that it is someone that would have a great importance in the continue of the story.
I saw he raged a lot, but rage can collapse his mind and make him turn to the dark side, you could give a use to that rage in the progress, also a friend that is the total opposite but has the same ideology but that will accomplish it by his own way. I had like it a lot, please write the next part, I will be waiting anxiously.
EDIT: You could add some more details on its personality, scenes and before he starts a fight, or when he is in a fight and fights. Many things you can detail in this cool story!
~xDeathGuardx
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