Dragonman -> RE: =DF= Gold War 2012 Lucky Stories and Poems (3/16/2012 21:16:45)
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TDLNND 1 Me: Welcome to TDLNND I am your anchor dragonman66 back to tell you the news... Baron Au'Mydas has broken out of his cell, and began making golden monsters again.. who could have helped him escape?? Could it be Xan? Zorbak? Noxus? The Irismancer? Sepulchure? Sek-Duat? A different villain? someone we have never met? As of now we are fighting an unknown number of goldbominations? How many of these polished perils will we have to fight? In other news since our last broadcast Artix and Cysero have dropped out of the running for mayor of falconreach... speaking of which I'd like to thank my maorial election supporters... Zork Knight, bob!!!, Kinzville, Xan, The Odor, Dornalca, djkramer123, 123Rob100, Prince Amrod, Wraith, Baron Dante ~SoaringAbove~, Dragos Chronos, Angelixx The Good, Faerdin, plue344, DoomCake1234, Ace127, The Cow says MOO, Axel459, Deviance, dragon deamon, The Master, Necro Berserk, bobeee, smartman294, and (of course) Me ( I bet you guys didn't think I kept the list) If you would like to support me replace that scum we call a mayor just vote! In other other news, We have een discovering a lot about Xan's past lately, I have used my reporting talents to verify from Xan it is all 100% true! The wheather today is kinda... shiny. Forecast has 100% chance of rain of fury tommorow! Now to Kinzville (Hopefully)... Oh and also I'm ready to fight. Kinzville: quote:
Why thank you Dragon. Give a good welcome to our new interviewer Mortin! Some of you may remember him as the Zardbie king! Expect to be seeing some of his work once we book an interviewer which should be soon. (We hope) Most of the famous clans and groups are arriving such as the BOH, HAS, and The Hero Crops. Now for a word from our sponsors. Have a foe that just won`t die? Well you need Parasol Corporation® Death Ray. You`r foe will be dead in one quick shot! “Parasol Corporation®. Life. Weirder.” Mayor Rayf has gone into a coma because of over exposure to vast amounts of gold. Baron Au'Mydas said that he hopes his gold counting buddy pulls through, and then he stuck his guards on me. Also poll numbers have dropped for Rayf due to being Baron Au'Mydas`s gold counting body. King Alteon has launched an investigon to find out who gave Baron Au'Mydas his gold kiss back. Well I think Dragon covered everything else. Good Night and War On! Mortarion: quote:
Heheheh my first news report, a bit nervous. This is Mortarion, new reporter, today is a beautiful day, with a special shining in it, one that resembles gold, but ohhhhhhhhhhh wait, it's the golden monsters. The heroes of Falconreach are pounding throught the golden monsters, but by each monster that is slain two take their place. One of the biggest misteries is who set free baron AU'mydas, one of the suspects is Zorbak, since a trail of golden monsters lead to his house, or a house similar to his. Barious clans are fighting against the monsters, some of this are the Beacons of Hope, A Phoenix Risen and the Chaos Weaver Nation. Also, a new monster appeared, they seem to be abominations made of gold, and htus they have been nicknamed Golbominations by one of the co-owners of this ilustrous newspaper, dragonamn. This is Mortarion with the news, expect more news once there are more things to report. And a small note. TO WAR MY WEAVERS, FIGHT WITH ALL OF YOUR MIGHT, LET THEM SHIVER UNDER THE POWER OF RAVENLOSS TDLNND 2: Me: Welcome to TDLNND I know it's early but, I'll be busy later on. Now for some random news... Samorahan Derbris is not rare. YAY! This means we can still get the galaxy set! Mayor Rayf is getting more pressure to step down from his position... and he probably learned he'd get more money as a businessman. Speaking of the position I'd like to thank Zork Knight, bob!!!, Kinzville, Xan, The Odor, Dornalca, djkramer123, 123Rob100, Prince Amrod, Wraith, Baron Dante, ~SoaringAbove~, Dragos Chronos, Angelixx The Good, Faerdin, plue344, DoomCake1234, Ace127, The Cow says MOO, Axel459, Deviance, dragon deamon, The Master, Necro Berserk, bobeee, smartman294, Keldor, megakyle777, Rytis 155, runekiri, Civer, and (of course) Me Thank you support! You guys are awesome... If you haven't voted for me yet there is still time... vote for me for more gold in the economy! Now a message from our sponsor: Parasol Corporation's® Goldtorade Sports Drink®: Made with real pineapple juice... and caffeine and GOLD! Need a lift, feelingtired all the time, drink Goltorade® and you'll be awake for a LONG time! Highlight for disclaimer Goltorade® is not for everyone. Ask your moglin before using Goltorade. Side effects include Insomnia, Vertigo, Hallucination, Radioactive Powers, and Death.... and Undeath... If one of these pursues stop taking Goldtorade and consult your moglin immediately. Unless your moglin is Zorbak he doesn't have time for you... just suck it up and live through it/ Just a side note : I do NOT endorse EbilCorp... Just Parasol Corporation. Forecast for tomorrow is bright and shiny That's it for now.... Now to Kinzville. Kinzville: quote:
Why thank you Dragon. As already stated this is the early edition! Poll numbers for Mayor Rayf have dropped even lower then yesterday. This is because The Court of King Alteaon has stated that Mayor Rayf is a suspect, in the case of who gave the Baron his kiss back. It has also been stated that he may have framed Zorbak. Though Zorbak is still a suspect at large, that little moglin just bought a new expensive hideout, investigators are wondering just were he got the gold. Now for a word from our sponsors, Parasol Corporation's Genetically Engineered 13-Leaf UNlucky Clover® (It's a clover that brings bad luck. Pretty simple. Effects include getting attacked by monsters frequently, being robbed, rain happening at the most inappropriate moments, and death. Handle with care.) The perfect gift for you` r most hated enemies. Safety note: Use on Friday The 13th may cause the bad luck matrix to burn out. The caffeine business has declined in profit since last war. The Heavy Artillery Squad (HAS for short) is now an official war clan. Run by me of course. The head spy of Swordhaven is buying back pelts off of adventures’ to be melted down. On a related note tune in later tonight for an exclusive interview with Codename Kyle. Well that’s all for now, the interview will air later tonight! Interview: quote:
Ok I just got the go ahead to air the interview! The following interview was conducted by the TDDNN Interviewer Mortain. The person being interviewed is the head spy of Swordhaven, Codename Kyle. What is the stance of King Alteon on the matter of Au'Mydas escape? King Alteon is imploring the heroes of falconreacht to attempt capture if possible. However if this is not possible then killing him is acceptable Meanwhile he has sent me to discover who is behind the return of his powers. Any knowledge heroes can spare from the battlefeild is appreciated. Will there be any punishment for the Baron of Gold? I really don't see how much more we can punish him. After his first arrest all his lands, titles and money was taken from him, and that's all he really cares for. However he will be reincarcerated. Do you think that in Au'Mydas pricion there should have been taken extra measures, like putting magical wards? Since his powers were lost at the time such measures was not deemed needed for his imprisonment. However rest assured that his new quarters have been prepared and are far more secure. Is the King going to provide support for the heroes of Falconreach? Alteon figures that the situation can be handeled adequaltly by the heroes of Falconreach considering the known size of the Baron's Army and that such monsters as Togs and Slimes are simple to handle. If you have any more questions feel free to ask. Also, I would like to add that to avoid Gold Depreciation like last time Alteon is paying for each golden pelt and whatnot handed in. The pelts will then be melted down for reissue as Gold for the Royal treasury to avoid such an issue. Thanks for your time Kyle TDLNND 3: Kinz: quote:
Wellcome to TDDNN, I`m Kin`z with you`r news “Dante is awesome.” Also glaisaurus_x has arrived on the battlefield. Due to the recent increase of attacks on town, Serenity has taken to wearing plated armor under her normal clothes. One of the gold monsters broke Twilly`s staff so he tied around a broom handle. Warlic is still missing. The prosecution is making a hard case against Zorbak, for giving the baron his kiss back. Now to commercials, Parasol Corporation's Goldtorade Sports Drink® (80% pineapple juice, 10% gold dust, 10% caffeine. Possible side effects include sleep deprivation, insomnia, headaches, heart palpitations and death. Also very tasty.) This just in, two men unfrozen several months ago, who claim to be from 100 years past are aiding in this war. No one knows why we can only speculate. This info was first reported to us by allenitoglist, glaisaurus_x. Well now to Dragon. Me: And we're back to TDLNND The war is going well at 17% but quite possibly there is some sort of supernatural interference this war... Aliens glaisaurus_X swears it. In election news citizens are getting at Mayor Rayf for actually voting to let Au'Mydas keep his power and force him to make everything gold... We tried that 2 years ago Rayf it doesn't work. On a related note the Vote for Dragonman Bumper sticker Sig is being tested... Trust me it looks awesome. Thanks to Und3rGr0und for making it Thanks to Zork Knight, bob!!!, Kinzville, Xan, The Odor, Dornalca, djkramer123, 123Rob100, Prince Amrod, Wraith, Baron Dante, ~SoaringAbove~, Dragos Chronos, Angelixx The Good, Faerdin, plue344, DoomCake1234, Ace127, The Cow says MOO, Axel459, Deviance, dragon deamon, The Master, Necro Berserk, bobeee, smartman294, Keldor, megakyle777, Rytis 155, runekiri, Civer, and (of course) Me for voting for me... I allways say this but if you want to vote for Dragonman66 as the new mayor just tell me. I have an announcement I would like to make known I have joined the Chaos Weaver Nation in hopes that together the Chaos Weavers and Lorians will be able to live in harmony and settle their differences... just to make it clear I am a dual resident and in no way deserting topsiders. On a happy, unrelated note Serenity is offering free cookies for everyone who fights in the war... Yummy That's all for now! TDLNND 4: Me: Welcome back to TDLNND. We have now destroyed over a million waves of the golden monsters which puts us a third of the way done. Special thanks to Und3rgr0und for making my campaign bumper sticker, if you want a bumper sticker siggy supporting me as the new mayor of Falconreach, just PM me. thanks to my supporters, if you haven't yet supported me there is still time to vote. My supporters are Thanks to Zork Knight, bob!!!, Kinzville, Xan, The Odor, Dornalca, djkramer123, 123Rob100, Prince Amrod, Wraith, Baron Dante, ~SoaringAbove~, Dragos Chronos, Angelixx The Good, Faerdin, plue344, DoomCake1234, Ace127, The Cow says MOO, Axel459, Deviance, dragon deamon, The Master, Necro Berserk, bobeee, smartman294, Keldor, megakyle777, Rytis 155, runekiri, Civer, Und3rgr0und, glaisaurus_x, and (of course) Me These guys are amazing and if you wish to support me as well just let me know. Reports of Lime the Moglin sightings have been increasing around Warlic's Zone what could Lime be doing, possibly attempting to usurp everyone's favorite speculatively alien mage's property? Or is Lime just hanging out? Everyone make sure to Battleon! and Vote For Me... Now to Kinzville Kinzville: quote:
Thanks Dragon, now onto the tidbits of news! Pacth has a new no refunds policy. The number of thefts has lowered near the capital of Swordhaven. Necromancers are awesome! Note to Paladins: Please do not storm the station because I said that. Last hour we had a WPM of 1068 which was pretty impressive. The economy is at a 92,764% and growing inflation rate. Gold is being destroyed or sent to other worlds to slow it down. Many people wish to know about the economy, of FalconReach. In the words of the well known business man Zork Knight, “The Corporation would like to know what that cheap thief has been doing with the money from Lore's economical capital!” More on this after the break, Parasol Corporation's Rose Goldware® (A set of 12 forks, 12 knives and 12 spoons made of an alloy that is 97% pure Rose Gold and 3% Cesium-137. Might be slightly radioactive.) And were back! Now onto the economy! The town’s treasury is at 340 gold. With all the donations given by the citizens, there should be a lot more in the treasury. The simple answer Mayor Rayf spends it all! He has 2 summer homes and a mansion just outside of town. There’s no way the normal mayor salary could pay for these, so he obviously took money out of the treasury. I recently went down to the town hall and looked at the list of the debts the town has. The list was huge! FalconReach has gone from the economic capital of Lore to being swamped in debt! Money is tight in the town now a day. Because of this lots of shops like the barber shop, now have added fees and a no refund policy. Now yes Lore`s economy it`s self is suffering from, a growing inflation rate. Though A. The king is trying to fix this while the mayor does swat for his town. B. FalconReach has been in debt before the inflation rate began to grow. Well that’s all for me. Now to Mortain down at the front lines! quote:
Mortarion speaking to you, as you can see, activity in our war camp has been unstable, sometimes it is bursting with activity and sometimes it has a few soldiers in it. Due to the reward offered by King Alteon the golden pelts in the camp take a lot of space, warriors return from the front lines with these heavy pelts filling their backpacks. Apart from that there is not much to tell. TDLNND 5: Kinz: quote:
Hello and welcome to TDDLNN! People have been screaming at their Gnome TV sets, Crystal balls, and magic mirrors due to the new show “My little Pwny: Hugs are magic!”. If we continue at our current wpm we should finish by Saturday night. There is a rumor that this war has a deadline of Friday. This has not been proven. Sir Render has joined the election. The warmongers are stationed in the woods between Swordhaven and FalconReach. More on this after the break, Parasol Corporation's Ohshinyte Alloy® (An alloy of 50% Gold, 25% Rhodium, 13% Silver, 5% Platinum, 4% Mercury, and 3% Plutonium. Very soft, heavy, malleable, shiny, and ductile. Also toxic. And slighty radioactive.) There is a small makeshift war camp, were the troops slumber, the food is kept, the amo is kept, and etc. This small camp is full of poets trying to lighten the mood. It also has a sort of market place. Alanna is running her own caffeine business. All of her proceeds’ are going to The Better Mayor Foundation. Calen Sir Render’s campaign manager has opened up a shop that sells defender items, cider, and cheesecake. Dragonmsn`s campaign manager/co-anchor (me) has set up a shop that sells weapons, snacks, and tabloids. All earrings will be split between funding for TDDLNN and funding for, Dragonman`s campaign! WAIT THIS JUST IN A GAINT GOLDEN CYSERO IS HEADING TOWARDS THE FRONTLINES! We will keep you updated, now to Dragonman! Me: Thank you Kinzville and OMG that thing is huge!!! The war is now halfway over and the golden monsters are retreating Baron Au'Mydas Bayconn (or old pigface) is going into hiding. I'd like to thank Zork Knight, bob!!!, Kinzville, Xan, The Odor, Dornalca, djkramer123, 123Rob100, Prince Amrod, Wraith, Baron Dante, ~SoaringAbove~, Dragos Chronos, Angelixx The Good, Faerdin, plue344, DoomCake1234, Ace127, The Cow says MOO, Axel459, Deviance, dragon deamon, The Master, Necro Berserk, bobeee, smartman294, Keldor, megakyle777, Rytis 155, runekiri, Civer, Und3rgr0und, glaisaurus_x, and (of course) Me for voting for me. You can still support me by letting me know TDLNND would like to support the peace treaty between Chaos Weavers, Loreons, Dwarves, Water Elves, and Gnomes. This treaty would make peace on Lore much greater and allow for a lot more trade. More rifts are opening in Lore and more Atealans are migrating, Atrea is growing, expect to see more of the town soon. That concludes today's short TDLNND! Battleon TDLNND 6: Me: Tonight on TDLNND I am doing something that has been requested to me a while ago... campaign promises. As Mayor of Falconreach I promise to do my best to make Falconreach even more prosperous... and I will do this in a four step plan Step one: Peace Treaties: While there will surely be no lack of wars between us and beasts or beings we have no knowledge of I will do my best to make Falconreach not only a town for Humans, but a town for Dwarves, Atealans, Water Elves, Wood Elves, Chaos Weavers, Sneevils Moglins, Gnomes, and even peaceful Dragons. We all are Loreons after all. Step two: Education: I believe the Children of our town need to be taught so they may better understand our world. That is why the first and most important addition to our town should be the opening of Aspenvale Academy, a school of knowledge unlike any oher I have heard of on Lore... I have never seen a made for more than a specific skill, this school shall be made so that those who wish to learn, not to train, may learn. Step Three: Remember our past: I believe our past is as important as our future so I wish to make the Libraseum open and expand our war memorial to show more of our forgotten past, who here really remembers all of our past wars... I don't even remember them all! Step four: The People: The most important step in my process is I wish to keep the people of Falconreach happy and I will always do what is best for Falconreach, even if it is not best for me. I would like to thank Zork Knight, bob!!!, Kinzville, Xan, The Odor, Dornalca, djkramer123, 123Rob100, Prince Amrod, Wraith, Baron Dante, ~SoaringAbove~, Dragos Chronos, Angelixx The Good, Faerdin, plue344, DoomCake1234, Ace127, The Cow says MOO, Axel459, Deviance, dragon deamon, The Master, Necro Berserk, bobeee, smartman294, Keldor, megakyle777, Rytis 155, runekiri, Civer, Und3rgr0und, glaisaurus_x, and (of course) Me for supporting me through this election Now we must crush some golden beasts.... Now to Kinzville Kinzville: quote:
Thank you Dragon, now onto more news! First of all to dismiss any safety concerns, we take extra measures to make sure none of our broadcasts are seen by enemy eyes. Also all new episodes of TDDLNN will be put on visa scroll. New shops will be coming to Pellow village soon. The inflation rate has slowed down. Cysero somehow got back in the running for Mayor. Sources say it had something to do with fish towers, and nitroglycerin sponges. Assa49 is now running for mayor of Amityvale. The Lymcrest Mining Company (FRSE: LMC) won't sell gold until the war is over, and it`s value is restored. Kensal Greydawn has sent out a call for arms. More on this after the break, Parasol Corporation's Gold Bomb® (A bomb that, when activated, explodes and spreads 500 liters of hot molten Gold and 100 liters of gaseous Mercury around at 1500 °C (2732 °F). Results may vary.) And we are back! As mentioned before the break Kensal Greydawn has issued a call to arms! If the war is finished by midnight on Friday, then we get Rainbow Light sabers! He also mentioned something about another weapon set but there is no further info on that. Well now to our new on field reporter The Odor, down at the war camp! quote:
Thank you Kinz! Well debris has been spreading over the forest all day from the artillery positions. *Kicks Golden Ant away* We have been hard pressed to fill our quota, but after the great smith Eric Greydawn promised new weapons to be delivered if we can clear a path we have started to receive reinforcements. *Stabs a Golden Gorillaphant* It currently seems all the paths found in the forest seem to lead to the mystery house. Many adventurers are now convinced of Zorbaks guilt but an iron core is holding Noxus as a possibility. *Slaps a Vote Dragonman sticker over the eye of a Goldeneye* This The Odor reporting on the Lucky Week War 2012, straight from the war camp. TDLNND 7: Kinzville: quote:
Welcome to TDDLNN, now onto the news! Today is the worst day a reporter could ever think of. A SLOW NEWS DAY! The warmongers are fighting till there last breathe. Also war chemist Civer tried to use burring Magnesium in the war, but it back fired. Sereinty has run out of cookies! Ok now to break I guess, Parasol Corporation's Genetically Engineered 13-Leaf UNlucky Clover® (It's a clover that brings bad luck. Pretty simple. Effects include getting attacked by monsters frequently, being robbed, rain happening at the most inoportune moments, and death. Handle with care.) And we are back. Now we need something to talk about! Wait what? Ash has been promoted from head mail devilry boy to war messenger? I guess that’s something. Meh that`s all I got, now to Dragon. Me: Welcome back... since there is no real war news except, "Hurry up guys I want Lightsabers!!!" I'll fill you up with politics and other filler stories. Zork Knight, bob!!!, Kinzville, Xan, The Odor, Dornalca, djkramer123, 123Rob100, Prince Amrod, Wraith, Baron Dante, ~SoaringAbove~, Dragos Chronos, Angelixx The Good, Faerdin, plue344, DoomCake1234, Ace127, The Cow says MOO, Axel459, Deviance, dragon deamon, The Master, Necro Berserk, bobeee, smartman294, Keldor, megakyle777, Rytis 155, runekiri, Civer, Und3rgr0und, glaisaurus_x, Drago_BloodMoon, kingyugi456, AlkaNephrite, WallyWeaver, Lightcaster, and Me... How are these people similar well they are all awesome voters, voting for me as the next mayor of Falconreach... If anyone else would prefer this reporter to Mayor Rayf just let me know! Or you can PM me to join the list and get a bumper sticker, just title the PM bumper sticker or something like that! Now I would like to mention that The Daily Lore News Network Dragon and The Dragonfable Live Network News Distributor are the same company, focused on rallying and exciting the warmongers to end these wars quickly so we can get our rewards. In other news famous blue mage Warlic has gone missing, nobody has seen him since after the defeat of S.M.U.D.D. leading some to belive there were connections, however in our recent reveals of Warlic's past show his disappearance more likely has to do with the appearance of the Atealans, of which Alexander's diary hints he may be a member of. In other unimportant news Lim has made a new company Lim n' Lime a company selling carbonated beverages including Moglo-Cola, Dr. Voltabolt, and Faerie. Moglo-Cola is particularly tasty! That's all for now! TDLNND 8: Kinz: quote:
Welcome to TDDLNN, now to the news. There was attempted forum silence, but it failed. The warmeter is increasing fast. The warmongers have obtained MOAR DAKKA! The final rush has begun, JOIN IN THE GLORAY! Now to break, Parasol Corporation® Pirate Bodyguards (Because everyone needs someone to protect them from EbilCorp.'s Ninjas The warmongers are cutting through the waves. We shall have 100 percent in no time! FOR THE RAINBOW! Now to Dragonman Me: Welcome back My popularity has grown by an astounding size last night. Mayor Rayf should be worried. I now haveZork Knight, bob!!!, Kinzville, Xan, The Odor, Dornalca, djkramer123, 123Rob100, Prince Amrod, Wraith, Baron Dante, ~SoaringAbove~, Dragos Chronos, Angelixx The Good, Faerdin, plue344, DoomCake1234, Ace127, The Cow says MOO, Axel459, Deviance, dragon deamon, The Master, Necro Berserk, bobeee, smartman294, Keldor, megakyle777, Rytis 155, runekiri, Civer, Und3rgr0und, glaisaurus_x, Drago_BloodMoon, kingyugi456, AlkaNephrite, WallyWeaver, Lightcaster, golden1231, Voodoo Master, Soulless Shadow, 1girlhousefan, and Me supporting me. I'll need more if I want to beat Rayf though... Just let me know in a post, or you can PM me and get a bumper siggy. The war should end by 2200 today... but lets all keep fighting for the lightsabers!
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