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megakyle777 -> (HS) CLASSIFIED: The Dealer's Personal List Of Things To NEVER DO (2/10/2013 13:10:43)
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Access Granted. Welcome Back Dealer. It it time for your annual reading of List Of Things To Never Do And Other Advice. Proceed? Yes/No.
LIST OF THINGS TO NEVER DO:
Note to self: This list is a combination of common sense, forbidden knowledge, personal philosophy and mistakes you have made in the past. Read carefully. In case of a Class X Emergency regarding a Forbidden Knowledge Isssue, read list for appropriate file to look for.
1: If you catch yourself plotting revenge, think for a moment. Is Revenge really worth it? It can backfire massively, even if any revenge plot works. This is why you don't go after the loved ones of heroes any more. Also, it's really bad form.
2: Do not keep Elderich Abominations and experiment on them. The ONLY reason you survived [Forbidden Knowledge File 473 DO NOT READ UNLESS SKY TURNS TO ASH] was because said Abomination felt it more entertaning to let you live.
3: Do NOT trust alternate versions of you from the getgo. While MOST of you signed The Dealer Consortium Pact some did not.
4: While noone knowing your real name does indeed increase the power of any magic you weild, you STILL have limits. THAT'S why you onlly bothered to learn stuff like a basic fireball spell. It works like a giant flamethrower anyway due to the whole having no name gives you power thing. Also, only use when no other alternative presents itself.
6: Do not acccept deals from other people.
7: Do NOT trust Clown The Jester UNDER ANY CURCUMSTANCES.
7A: EVER.
7B: I'm really not joking.
8: Do not make a clone of a powerfull hero, give him your worldview, and the knowledge of your best scientists and then train him as a apprentice. It backfired in the 90's and it will backfire now.
9: Yes you know where the last Great Dragon lives. No it is NOT a good idea to try and roboticise it.
10: Do not rig a vote just because you were promised a powerfull artifact. Yes you got it but the ensuring war and loss of lives was NOT worth it.
11: Regarding The Black Vault:
11A: If the artifact labeled The Shadow Bell tolls once, call Emergency Number 745. If it tolls twice, call Emergency Numbers 745 and 843, arrange A secret meeting between the two and offer them whatever it takes to team up dispite their hatred of one another and stop what's coming. If it tolls thrice, run to another universe for there is nothing you can do.
11B: The Book Of All Things must never be edited. Yes it can alter reality but it comes at a price appropriate to what is altered. So don't use it.
11C: Only watch That Tape Of Your Conversation With Arcadia About ...Something should Arcadia fall in battle. Someone MUST know at all times.
11D: There is a vault inside The Black Vault. It must NEVER be opened and you MUST NOT remember why. You hired Leonidas to guard it for a reason.
12: This one is going to sound weird (Like, really weird) but trust me: If you ever head to [Forbidden Knowledge File 1234 ONLY READ IN CASE OF ARCADIA'S DEATH. ALSO WILL OPEN AUTOMATICLY ON TRAVEL THERE], you must NOT interact with any company with the initials of AE.
13: Time traval is strictly forbidden. Not even for cheap tricks.
14: Do now allow a prank war to occur between Drs Johnson and Dragon. The last one almost obliterated reality.
15: If you hear of the return of [Forbidden Knowledge File 1957 ONLY OPEN SHOULD THE DEAD RISE FROM THE GRAVE] follow instructions in said file to the letter.
16: Never anger Drakonniss.
16A: Really. Don't.
17: When the time comes, you will know what to do.
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