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TJByrum -> Backstory Critique/Feedback (6/30/2014 20:04:59)
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First off, I am not a great writer and my ideas are generally messy and shallow.
I plan to host a western roleplay soon and I need a good backstory for a particular character. The backstory must be rich enough that I can write a potential prequel story to the roleplay focusing on this particular character. Most names are placeholder names, so they may seem cliche, but they are subject to change. Just tell me what is wrong, what needs to be changed, and anything you see that doesn't fit.
Summary: After the death of his family, John Taylors embarks on a quest across the American frontier to hunt down their killer, whether that means working with or against the law. He soon meets Lillie, a naive girl who has also been hurt by the same man. While it is a story of revenge, the focus of the story is the relationship between John and Lillie.
Idea #1
John Taylors is a rancher, but his family is murdered by notorious outlaw Butcher Bill. I currently have three ideas of how this happens:
1. Butcher Bill randomly attacks John's ranch, murdering his family in the process.
2. Butcher Bill is seeking revenge against John who killed his brothers, and so kills John's family in retaliation.
3. John joins a posse to track down Bill for some extra cash to pay Land Baron (a corrupt land owner that John owes money to), but Land Baron ironically hires Bill to extort the money, who ends up killing John's family instead.
Afterwards, John is broken. He tries to request the aid of the local sheriff, but fails to. He then takes matters into his own hands; he murders the sheriff and frees Cassius Green (who he had previously help capture, right before his family is murdered). With the help of Cassius (who also seeks revenge for being betrayed), John locates Bill's hideout. Unfortunately, Bill uses a young girl as a hostage (Lillie) and manages to flee. Lillie, seeing John as her savior, joins up with him and the two embark on a quest to find the man who hurt them both. John and Lillie build a father-daughter relationship throughout the story.
Idea #2
This route sees John's family murdered by Bill several years prior to the start of the story. He has since became a grizzled, lonely, and depressed Bounty Hunter who failed to locate Butcher Bill years ago. Now, a drifter comes into town and talks about the death of a family - but the disappearance of their daughter (Lillie). John joins a posse to track down the culprits and to his surprise runs across Butcher Bill. Bill flees after holding Lillie at gunpoint, but John manages to save Lillie. Lillie, however, was able to eavesdrop on the group and knows where Bill's other hideout is, so she tags along with John as he renews the search for his family's murderer.
Idea #3
In this rendition, John kidnaps Lillie. Lillie is the only known daughter of Butcher Bill. Lillie, however, resents Bill. John uses her to find Bill, but the two develop a father-daughter relationship: John being the father that Lillie always wanted and Lillie being the daughter John lost not so long ago.
Combine this with Idea #2, where Lillie's adoptive parents were killed by Butcher Bill. Bill then kidnapped Lillie (even though she's his daughter).
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