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Poopetry~Collab. Fiction - New: Horrible Haikus

 
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7/13/2008 14:09:15   
Firefly
Lore-ian


Are you looking for some adventure? For some laughs? For some terrible poetry that will make your eyes bleed out of their sockets? Look no further, my friend, for you've come to the realm of "Poopetry," where L&L gathers to write the worst poems conceivable to humanity. Read us, revere in the power of grotesque language, and someday (once we've converted you to a loyal follower of the worst), make your own contribution to wow us all with its undeniable horror.

Rules: (Yes, there are a few guidelines even to terrible poetry =P)

1. Always, always, always, go for the worst poetry possible. Don't try to add a good one here. Such a wonderful piece will be... dishonoured, shall we say?

2. Don't post two poems in a single post. Double posting is fine, but posting more than one poem creates problems when linking to individual posts in the index.

3. Don't make degrading comments that sound like attacks. We're all here to have fun! ^_^ These poems never represent the skills of their authors.

4. Don't be tempted to post the poems directly on the comments thread. It's a fun collab, but spamminess and disobedience to the forum order isn't appropriate.

5. No inappropriate material please. Bad poetry or not, it's still a PG-13 forum.

6. Try not to make a poem that has it's horribleness derived mainly from spelling and grammar errors. That makes it less funny, less, er, creative, shall I say?

7. No prose please. Horrible prose is fun, but not really in line with this collab.

8. Always post your own work. Never go posting a horrible poem you read, even if you give credit to the author. The purpose is laughter, not degradation.

9. If any bad poetry mini-contests commence, the decisions of judges are final. No whining, please.

10. If you want to post a poem, you don't have to clear it with me beforehand. But make sure you comment on the comments thread right after posting so we can keep track of it.

11. Anyone who is an AA and therefore capable of posting in collaborative fiction is welcome to join this collab, even spontaneously. If an AP wants to post, please PM me. I'll see if I can get the permission to let an AA post for you and give you the credit. No promises, though. If someone is neither an AA nor an AP, there is absolutely no way for them to post until they're approved.

12. If you have the poem posted on another thread, it's perfectly fine to duplicate a version onto here.

13. Try to have a title for the poem, please. Makes the index easier to manage without a bunch of "Untitled 101" stuff...

Have I forgotten something? Maybe. Please tell me if I have.

Index:

Spider
By: Firefly

Your Shoe and Your Dad
By: amboo

My Fox
By: gwoonjustin

Cube
By: r0de0b0y

Love
By: Firefly

Lobo-Tomy
By: fabula

No More Haikus!
By: Firefly

I Like Trees
By: Recar Dragonlance

The Sun
By: ~Shade~

Already the Ancient Romans
By: fabula

I Wonder
By: GhostBear5

Ed
By: r0de0b0y

Manhattan and Me
By: Firefly

Dumpster of Death
By: ~Shade~ and Firefly

Untitled
By: Coyote

The Info-Commons
By: Argeus the Paladin

Oh, Snow!
By: fabula

An Ode to Emily Dickenson
By: Cow Face

Wooing My Boo
By: fabula

My Love
By: Firefly

Stalker's Lament
By: Cow Face

Being A Dragon
By: Cow Face

Horrible Haikus
By: fabula


< Message edited by Firefly -- 3/8/2009 17:04:20 >
AQ  Post #: 1
7/13/2008 15:06:44   
gwoonjustin
April 2008 Writer of the Month


In case you weren't gonna check anytime soon, heed my warning:

Two terrible poems have been added.

By amboo and yours truly.
AQ  Post #: 2
7/13/2008 18:18:13   
r0de0b0y
Member

Seriously, what does 'prose' mean?

<---Me <---- Noob
AQ DF  Post #: 3
7/13/2008 18:22:55   
~Shade~
Member

I will post mine eventually, but for now, I am too lazy. Just one simple design flaw.

What about APs? They can't post in CW, and, as they are mainly the people your thread is catering to, that is BAD!

~Shade~
Post #: 4
7/13/2008 19:14:58   
Firefly
Lore-ian


Prose is writing as opposed to poetry (verse).

Added all the new poems to the first post. Also new rules:

quote:

12. If you have the poem posted on another thread, it's perfectly fine to duplicate a version onto here.
13. Try to have a title for the poem, please. Makes the index easier to manage without a bunch of "Untitled 101" stuff...

Forgot about this one earlier.

Also added the poem "Love" from my Just for Laughs and Boredom original. This was the poem that started all of this. ^_^

I'll add "No More Haikus" later. Though double posting is technically fine, I'm still trying to avoid it. =P

Nice addition, RB. However, I still find (out of the current additions) Amboo's to be the funniest, though Justin's is more crazy. =P But nothing can beat Spider. =P

You guys have made my day...

Shade, I'm unable to do anything about APs. Many APs are AAs as well, like Amboo, so the problem isn't too big. If an AP wants to post a poem... I'm reluctant to allow an AA to post it for them because it is a violation to the nature of the system. If an AP wants to contribute, please PM me. In fact, I'm elaborating that into rule 11.

quote:

11. Anyone who is an AA and therefore capable of posting in collaborative fiction is welcome to join this collab, even spontaneously. If an AP wants to post, please PM me. I'll see if I can get the permission to let an AA post for you and give you the credit. No promises, though. If someone is neither an AA nor an AP, there is absolutely no way for them to post until they're approved.

I'll see if I can work something out if an AP wants to contribute.

EDIT: Spaced out the rules. They were a bit of an eye-sore when lumped together...

< Message edited by Firefly -- 7/13/2008 20:13:24 >
AQ  Post #: 5
7/14/2008 11:12:03   
Fleur Du Mal
Member

I just added something questionable.
Even though it is not even half as gigglish as shoes, dads, and foxes with gongs...

A poem called Lobo-Tomy.
DF  Post #: 6
7/14/2008 12:26:29   
Firefly
Lore-ian


Ha! That was probably our first contribution that sounded kinda like a song lyric. =P

Added to the first post.

I also added No More Haikus! since I have no reason to delay it any longer...
AQ  Post #: 7
7/14/2008 13:48:48   
Recar Dragonlance
Member

Just posted I like Trees...

I believe that it's a /thread moment...

Rofls at the Haiku!

RB: You stole a line fron Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series...It might be the funniest thing EVER but still...

DF  Post #: 8
7/14/2008 14:22:44   
Firefly
Lore-ian


I added I Like Trees and The Sun!

Recar, if I were just 1% sillier than I am, I'd nominate you for PotM for that. =P It's the funniest poem ever.

Haha, the Haiku was done for that CW class. Possibly the only thing of mine that my teacher liked reading...
AQ  Post #: 9
7/14/2008 16:09:35   
Fleur Du Mal
Member

OK, I added another one...
Already the Ancient Romans

I'm still laughing because of the previous ones. =P
DF  Post #: 10
7/14/2008 20:02:11   
Firefly
Lore-ian


Added.

Very nice, Fabula. Way better than your first contribution. =P My fav lines:

quote:

But let's go to Greece
before I have to sneeze
and eat a little cheese.

ROFL!

I'm thinking of adding a few goals to the first post. Later today, that is... I still feel muddle-headed after falling asleep instead of writing. Not to mention I'm drinking ice tea again... (Don't ask).
AQ  Post #: 11
7/15/2008 18:03:35   
Resolute
Member
 

I posted my poem.

~GB5~
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 12
7/15/2008 18:06:29   
Firefly
Lore-ian


Has been added to the first post.
AQ  Post #: 13
7/15/2008 22:56:36   
r0de0b0y
Member

quote:

RB: You stole a line fron Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series...It might be the funniest thing EVER but still...


Really? Which one?

Oh and I'm adding another real soon
AQ DF  Post #: 14
7/16/2008 13:38:37   
Firefly
Lore-ian


Haha, nice one, RB.

Added to first post.

Shade, if you're reading this, add "Sky" soon please.

Anyways, just telling y'all that I'll be gone for this weekend. The first post might get a wee bit outdated if new additions come fast, but I'll update ASAP once I get back. My time here will also be cut a bit short for the next two weeks due to a multimedia program I enrolled in, but I'll do my best to keep the collab up to date. Might be a bit slower than currently, but everything else should be fine.
AQ  Post #: 15
7/22/2008 23:13:01   
Firefly
Lore-ian


New one by me: Manhattan and Me

Inspired by my USA trip from DC to NYC.

I don't hate NYC at all. I just had to conceive this ugly poem. No offence meant; these things are /way/ exaggerated.

It's not as technically bad as the other ones, but it sounds like it wanted to be good, which makes it funny.
AQ  Post #: 16
7/23/2008 19:33:56   
~Shade~
Member

New poem is up for you all. Ready to be amazed? Astounded? Hopelessly destroyed? Yep.

Here is the LINKAGE!

~Shade~
Post #: 17
8/7/2008 1:29:19   
Firefly
Lore-ian


*bites hair to stop from laughing at 2:30 am*

Everyone, welcome Versilaryan! Our first AK contributor and someone who has brought the first sophisticated and untitled poem to the collab! It makes no sense, but I'm sure words like "adieu" and "toenail" will have trouble being together. =P

Very well done, Versy. =P You almost got me in RL trouble with how hard I laughed. =P
AQ  Post #: 18
8/7/2008 1:56:48   
Argeus the Paladin
Member

Okay... look at what the Australian National University has done to the most diehard tightnut of Legends and Lore. It is just a couple of days since my enrolment that I have found the counter-inspiration to get into the lines of horrible poetry just for the fun of it. FF, you got me owned this time.

Read, and be warned. This is by no means what is taking place in the ANU. Anyone with the student card can enter any of the 8 available computer rooms, and are free to do whatever you want in it, as long as it is not illegal and as long as a tutorial is not going on. I am writing this in Room No.22, in which there is never a tute.

< Message edited by Argeus the Paladin -- 8/7/2008 1:58:39 >
DF  Post #: 19
8/7/2008 13:23:23   
Firefly
Lore-ian


...

If you didn't warn me of this privately some time ago, I'd think you've gone insane...

ROFL! I particularly liked these lines:

quote:

As long as I don't download stuffs,
I just certainly can't be sued..."

Haha, I'm sure you didn't /really/ get in trouble... yet. I mean, I wrote Spider and I certainly didn't jump off a hot air balloon... yet. =P

Btw, I was quite a tightnut about writing for a while. Ironically, it was a CW course that made me start this collection. Since my teacher didn't like my good writing, I ended up having more fun writing the bad stuff assignments. =P

Oh, and yes, added to the first post.
AQ  Post #: 20
11/26/2008 16:02:01   
Fleur Du Mal
Member

Sorry to produce some more horrible poetry, but the gone weekend's snowstorm gave me an inspiration =P

So I added a piece of poopetry called Oh, Snow on the thread.

Enjoy...

DF  Post #: 21
11/26/2008 18:21:23   
Firefly
Lore-ian


So, I'm sitting here by my window at the computer right before dinner, gnawing my nails to hold in my laughter so I wouldn't appear crazy to my family. Lol, you just made my day, Fabula. And snow is a good subject. I've got tons at my place. ;)

First post updated. Thank you for adding something new to this collab, Fabula.
AQ  Post #: 22
12/4/2008 15:37:38   
Cow Face
One Heck of a Guy


I decided to join in, with a terrible little poem of mine, written about one of my favorite poets. (This is not meant to be in any way an insult to Emily Dickenson, just me being silly.)

An Ode To Emily Dickenson
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 23
12/4/2008 17:14:01   
Firefly
Lore-ian


Yay! I'm so glad this collab is looking up again. Looking up at flies and spiders, but at least up! =P

Added, added. Nice use of dashes, btw. =P
AQ  Post #: 24
12/5/2008 14:21:10   
Fleur Du Mal
Member

quote:

I'll probably sit here 'til I die--
Coming up with poems about this fly--

ROFL!

Hilarious poem! Thank you, Cow Face, for making my day!

Btw, can anyone tell me what is it with shoes and poopetry? =P This was the fourth entry with a shoe in it... Do those walking accessories fit so well in poopetry?

Anyways, I'm conjuring up some more horrible stuff to be posted here -- you should be able to see the fruits of my hard labour this weekend =P The working title is 'Teh most awesomenest luv poem evah!' This 'tremendous' effort has got me thinking if there would be anyone interested in a little friendly competition about writing the worst love poem possible? I'm not talking about poems about love, since Firefly already nailed everything earlier in this thread with =P:
quote:

Love is happy!
Like a puppy!
Love is sad,
Oh so bad!

(Another ROFL!)
So, we got the essence of love already defined =P
Instead, I'm thinking about the worst possible love confession poem.

So, would this be an idea worth executing? Or an idea to be executed...at dawn..near the gallows....
=P
DF  Post #: 25
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