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(AQW) Drakath's Lament =Comments=

 
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1/7/2011 18:26:34   
Leo Fire FTW
Member

Hello! This is my first fanfiction, not only here, but AT ALL! Expect mistakes!

This story takes place during the Arcangrove arc of AQW, starting when Drakath and Ledgermayne have their "falling-out" after the hero has defeated the Tiger Leech. It includes dialogue from actual cutscenes from the arc, but most of the story takes place behind the lines, switching between Drakath and Ledgermayne points of view.

Prologue to Drakath's Lament
Chapter 1

< Message edited by Leo Fire FTW -- 1/7/2011 22:18:38 >
AQW  Post #: 1
1/12/2011 14:23:09   
Fleur Du Mal
Member

Hiya!

Technically, it seems you don't have grave issues with grammar, typos, and such, so that's all good. =) However, in my opinion, you have way too little original material here compared to the amount of dialogue and events directly from the storyline and cutscenes. The way I see it, this is a problem. Even in fanfiction, you should be focusing into creating something of your own, and use the events of the original story only as background or reference points to your new view into the whole thing, not drawing so many lines directly out of the original.

I'd strongly recommend for you to focus on what we have not seen in the game, like the inner dialogue for Drakath you were presenting in Chapter 1 (which is good, please do dig in deeper with that =)), and only refer to- not type out - the events and dialogue presented in the game.
DF  Post #: 2
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