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Comment thread: Eve.

 
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1/14/2011 13:19:12   
Helixi
Member

Eve.

Please enjoy, comments much appreciated.
AQ DF  Post #: 1
1/14/2011 15:09:19   
Reaper Sigma
Member

Hi Helix!

Well, I'm liking the story. Here are some small things:

quote:

Mould crept over the white paint and Eve surveyed the scene before her with quiet revulsion.


Mold is what you want, I believe.

That's it for any grammar errors. The transition from scene to scene is a bit confusing, but something I got over. My advice: focus on conveying the mood of the story. Though, that's just my opinion.
Post #: 2
1/15/2011 6:13:25   
Helixi
Member

I think that's British/American spelling differences at work there. xD I decided to try something new, ie. not vampire/horror based. I hope it comes out ok, because I've never done anything like this before.
AQ DF  Post #: 3
1/8/2012 10:46:17   
Helixi
Member

I intend to rework the plot of this story at some point. For now, it's on hold.
AQ DF  Post #: 4
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