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(DF) The Forbitten truth knight.

 
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3/4/2013 8:11:04   
The RedEyed Adown
Member

Heya!
Here is for us to discuss about my fanfiction The Forbitten truth knight.
Hope you like it

BATTLEON!


< Message edited by The RedEyed Adown -- 3/4/2013 10:07:58 >
DF AQW  Post #: 1
3/11/2013 7:37:03   
Glais
Member

quote:

That... colors I've seen. That... shapes.

The or Those
quote:

It's time for you to hear somethings.

Something

It feels a bit rushed so far as well as short.
Due to its lack of length there...isn't really much I can add easily. I mean I can blankly say "add more detaiL!" etc. but that doesn't really help you as a writer.
Hmm.

Perhaps simply think of a few more events to fill up the chapters themselves. Short chapters aren't necessarily bad, but they still need to be long enough to convey the event.
DF MQ  Post #: 2
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