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RE: =AQ= Xov's Assault stories and poetry Commentary

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8/6/2013 12:34:39   
darksaber22
Member

@tommy well you must already know who i want to survive but seeing others peoples opinions on which one they want to live will be interesting
AQ DF MQ AQW  Post #: 526
8/6/2013 12:50:51   
Seth Hydra
How We Roll Winner
Nov14


 @Tommy: Great chapter with expertly constructed Battle scenes, I lov'd they way you narrated the scene threw the eyes of Kilvalkar.

Though I did feel sad regarding the ending, wonder who's it gonna be.....


Half of chap 13 is up(ACTually a quarter) http://forums2.battleon.com/f/tm.asp?m=21330870&mpage=1&key=�
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 527
8/6/2013 13:07:29   
darksaber22
Member

@ss2195 even though it is not the full chapter you did a good job with the characters and i cant wait for the rest it looks like a big battle is about to come up so i definitely cant wait for that
AQ DF MQ AQW  Post #: 528
8/6/2013 14:16:45   
0Neo
Member

@kors Seeing everything from various perspectives is both familiar and nice. I liked how you made most of it happen from the perspective of Aerodu clansmen but I got confused with the ending....is Salem a member of Aerodu in your story?

@tommy2468 An amazing chapter again. The fluid battles, the might-be final struggles, the despair and hopelessness of the situation, the choice! You did it this time tommy, a great job. I loved to see how alienated Kilvakar's character seems to be since he is the one showing true interest in Nautica but that clan (sadly....even more considering it was my first) has sunk to its undersea coffin TTnTT

The way you portrait the clansmen and their characteristics is just marvelous. I really love your story and it is my favorite. Can't wait to see more of it.

After a rather chaotic and stressful morning here I might have time to re-write what I lost.....lost two mini-chapters of 0Neo and one of Hikari Yume.....*sigh* wish me luck, I really want you guys to read it.

Now that tommy2468 mentioned it, I might have the same problem he had >_> Will have to check when I re-write everything (On word this time)
AQ  Post #: 529
8/6/2013 14:30:24   
kors
Member

Yeah 0Neo he is in Aerodu in my story, because I had already written him in as one before he decided to go neutral. Not enough time has passed in story to allow for him to really leave, so he is going to stay as an Aerodu for now(Only about a day has passed overall).
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 530
8/6/2013 14:43:17   
tommy2468
Member

That is a fair point kors. I do like the diversity of your story as well. The fact that you have followed so much of Paxia. It might seem like I am copying you but I am honestly trying to get all of the elements in fairly (at the moment it has mostly been Earth and Water. And slightly Ice and Darkness). So the others will need to get fairly portrayed.

And don't forget about the votes everyone. Hikari Yume or Adrian's lives are in your hands!
AQ  Post #: 531
8/6/2013 15:49:05   
flashbang
Member

Guess who Finally decided to read Tommy's story? I found a typo in chapter one though:
quote:

“Do I have to say this to every single person you meet?” asked ONeo
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 532
8/6/2013 16:10:35   
tommy2468
Member

That quote is slightly out of context there flashbang :) But I can see where you were coming from.

0Neo was saying that just after Hict had challenged Kor. Hict had asked 0Neo to explain to Kor that Hict could not be harmed and I was trying to create a scene where 0Neo had had to say to others that Hict was a true immortal.

"Do I (0Neo) have to say this to every single person you (Hict) meet?"

^ Let's just ignore all of that then XD

Hopefully that makes sense and I'm glad that someone is pointing out my mistakes (because I'm sure I have dozens!)

I'm really glad that you read the story though

< Message edited by tommy2468 -- 8/6/2013 16:21:11 >
AQ  Post #: 533
8/6/2013 16:18:55   
flashbang
Member

I was pointing out that you said ONeo, not 0Neo.
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 534
8/6/2013 16:25:00   
tommy2468
Member

Changed that now XD
AQ  Post #: 535
8/6/2013 16:28:22   
hict98
Member

Okay guys I'm going to read your stories and give your reviews then start my final chapter before the war. Unfortunately I won't be doing any writing during the war as I take my warring seriously and try to get as many kills as I can.
AQ AQW  Post #: 536
8/6/2013 16:37:19   
tommy2468
Member

You won't be the only one Hict. I'm going to be trying my best to get into the warring spirit but I've never been the most motivated for wars.

But this time I will be definitely be doing everything in my power to get as many kills in this war :D
AQ  Post #: 537
8/6/2013 17:31:06   
popinloopy
Member

I'll probably be the exact opposite, and probably won't even START my story until the war begins.
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 538
8/6/2013 17:35:42   
flashbang
Member

In my next chapter, I'll introduce some people maybe have Wyrm fight somebody who has an in-game NPC even though that name is a typo and should be 0Neo not ONeo.
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 539
8/6/2013 17:38:58   
0Neo
Member

War it is then flashbang....it seems we won't survive each other's story

EDIT: luckily I'll post this in some hours

< Message edited by 0Neo -- 8/6/2013 17:48:18 >
AQ  Post #: 540
8/6/2013 18:13:13   
hict98
Member

@Tommy Well I just read your chapter and it was good. I was happy to see that not everyone was as OP as usual. Oh and finally showing some unity between the clans is great. I don't really have much more input on it though. I'm just surprised that you passed the word limit. I actually find it kinda laughable. I didn't even know that there was a word limit.
AQ AQW  Post #: 541
8/6/2013 18:16:39   
tommy2468
Member

Well currently the story is over 33, 000 words :L So I'm not that surprised that a single post would not be able to contain so much. The entire thread is now slow to load up because of the amount we have all written collectively.

It appears that I mashed in the Unity at the end there. The only reason I have done that is because I wanted to explain the set up for it in the next chapter, which will be narrated by Kor
AQ  Post #: 542
8/6/2013 18:25:03   
hict98
Member

Well at least I know I'm not going to get anywhere near that as I only have 3 more chapters planned and am currently at 11k. Unfortunately it is currently storming where I am so I don't think I can be able to post the next chapter until the storm leaves. You guys can probably be expecting another 4 a.m. post.

_____________________________
AQ AQW  Post #: 543
8/6/2013 18:27:30   
tommy2468
Member

Well that should be perfect because then it would be like 10am here (I think) and I can read it when I get up :P
AQ  Post #: 544
8/6/2013 18:39:42   
hict98
Member

Well I live in the same time zone as the server so you can use server time as your reference for when it is coming out. Hopefully I don't fall asleep before the storm leaves.
AQ AQW  Post #: 545
8/6/2013 19:29:13   
0Neo
Member

I might post in some hours...almost ready :)

@hict98 seriously? Your overall story is 11K words long? I'm not even done writing my seventh chapter and it has 10K words already
AQ  Post #: 546
8/6/2013 21:07:43   
flashbang
Member

My gawd Tommy. My gawd hict. Too many words!
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 547
8/6/2013 21:35:19   
hict98
Member

Really my last chapter was what gave my story so much. By itself it was about 4k words I believe. Ugh this storm is kicking my internet's butt right now. Hopefully this will blow over.
AQ AQW  Post #: 548
8/6/2013 22:17:09   
0Neo
Member

Finished at last! I will try to upload it into the post I have or I'll have to wait for Eukara to answer my pm and allow me to create another post

EDIT: made the measurements.....My overall story is worth 32319 words....and this last chapter is worth 12109 of them >_> I might have overdone it with this one......

EDIT 2: Tried to and it crashes.....wrote far too much. Please Eukara, let me do another post TT-TT

< Message edited by 0Neo -- 8/6/2013 22:19:37 >
AQ  Post #: 549
8/6/2013 23:19:05   
kors
Member

Yesh... How do you guys manage to write so much? I only just broke the 20k mark... Oh well I guess you two give us a good benchmark for when we need to make a second post.
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 550
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