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RE: =AQ= Xov's Assault stories and poetry Commentary

 
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11/9/2013 17:25:15   
flashbang
Member

I really should actually continue my story, shouldn't I?
@Tommy Spilt into two.
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 651
11/9/2013 19:18:58   
kors
Member

@flash: Yes, it would be great to finally read all of it as one finished story.
@tommy: if you ever look here again, perhaps you should be the one to decide. It is your story after all, which ever feels right to you should be the one you chose.
I am tempted to start writing more seriously, but just too many distractions to get much done...
Edit: And here I go again... flash, you got me off my procrastinating butt and back into writing mode. Thank you!

< Message edited by kors -- 11/9/2013 20:50:10 >
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 652
11/24/2013 15:47:49   
tommy2468
Member

Wow, I hadn't realized that anyone was still looking at here :L Even though it has been 2 weeks since the last person wrote anything :)

I think I will make it a very long chapter and I think I might try to finish it this week. I stopped writing a while back thinking that nobody was going to be here to read the end of it so I will try my best to get it finished properly :D

And kors I really hope this means that you're gonna finish your story :D EXCITED FACE!!!! If you'd rather write something else that is okay as well!
AQ  Post #: 653
11/30/2013 18:29:57   
kors
Member

Eh... Okay this is definitely the end. Renamed Part VIII Fragment 2 I admit it is rather sudden but it is far, far overdue, no?

And this will serve as a little advertisement for what I have planned for the 4th(my 18th birthday, and it contains two important numbers for my story). It may or may not happen but it will not be latter than the friday of next week. I admit it is a little shameless self-promotion but then again I doubt many will notice this.
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 654
12/4/2013 9:31:15   
tommy2468
Member

It's nice to have gotten the closure of your story kors :) I'm very glad that you got to finish it!

I am quite devastated to report that my entire War Story file has been deleted by accident And I am sorry that I didn't get to do the last part :( I can sum it up though if that would be preferable, but I don't really think I could write the whole final part again without it feeling like it's too changed.

The final chapter went something like this:

quote:

0Neo chooses for Hikari Yume to be given the healing water, who swiftly recovers.

He and 0Neo mourn for the loss of Adrian.

The group at the scene leave to find the main leaders of the Truphma attack and the other main characters follow along.

During the journey 0Neo's sorry overwhelms him and he rushes forward to reach their destination faster and he is struck down by a trap created by the Truphma.

Within seconds the group is set upon by a Truphma force that was making its way to the Dynami, who had hidden in their home base. The group did not even have time to mourn 0Neo's death, due to the speed of the attack.

Oliver Bell soon is set upon by dozens of Dulled creatures and his armour is torn from him piece by piece, but he continued to fight. Popinloopy and Ypoolnipop rush to his aid, but Ypoolnipop is sliced by a stray Truphma blade and falls. Popinloopy falters and is torn between the death of his closest friend and helping Oliver.

In the moment of indecision Popinloopy is pounced upon by several Truphma who hit several main points of on his body. Popinloopy does not even have time to use his healing magic and he too falls.

Oliver witnesses the tragedy and manages to escape from the severe situation to fight back to back with Salem. However, Salem's anger for the Truphma becomes too great and he loses control of his sanity. The lack of control affects his sword, which begins to grow as the Light within the Darkness "net" swells and bursts; creating a wave destructive enough to kill Salem and Oliver.

Hict remains fighting but he fights slowly due to the wounds he received previously. The wounds hurt him and slow him down, but he knows that as his comrades fall he will remain alive.

Hikari Yume and Kilvakar fight back to back and manage to keep the Truphma back with walls of Ice and Water striking at the forces. Hikari Yume attempts to call upon the Elemental Planes again, but cannot sustain the significant amount of energy required. He falters and a single dagger is thrown by a Truphma; slicing through the flesh of Hikari Yume's throat. In his final action, Hikari Yume lifts his Rejuvenating Necklace to Kilvakar. But his arm drops before the gift is received.

Knowing that there is no possibility of defeating the considerable army and already weak from fighting; Kilvakar reduces himself to pure Water and flows into the earth. He travels back to the beach to rally a force of fighters to follow him to the Dynami base, but he returns to find the Paxian joint army destroyed. In the time that they had left the beach the leader of the Truphma, Xov Arakue, arrived and used her dulling powers upon the Paxians. Kilvakar fell to his knees as he becomes surrounded by dulled Paxians.

While this is happening, Kor watches knowingly. Understanding that they had failed he draws Time magic upon himself and removes himself from the timeline. Following back through several timelines he settles upon a dimensional timeline that he believes may have a better future.

In doing so, Kor has ultimately destroyed the first timeline where the heroes failed. The events of the war that had taken place were removed from history and in a sense are uncreated. As he slips into the new timeline he finds the Guardians preparing for war themselves with the Truphma...




Again I'm sorry that I accidentally deleted the old file which had all of the pages I had for the final chapter (around 30!!! ). The ending of the story is that in the timeline/ dimension of my story there is only failure for the heroes and the defenders of Paxia. Kor was able to use his powers though to move into another timeline/ dimension of another story, which was originally going to be 0Neo's but he hasn't finished his story and I wanted the ending of the "second" story to be one of victory. So you finishing your story kor really allowed me to finish my own.

I might try and write a shorter story (definitely! XD) during the next significant war :) It's been great fun discussing and writing with you guys and I hope the feeling is reciprocated! :)

< Message edited by tommy2468 -- 12/4/2013 10:04:28 >
AQ  Post #: 655
12/10/2013 16:48:58   
Seth Hydra
How We Roll Winner
Nov14


^That's a nice conclusion really. Love what you did with the chronomancy, and thankfully it's not the curtains for my Char.. and those of other!

Seems like I'll be doing the same. Though first, a public announcement.. I'm actually creating an art piece for the AQ gallery and I'm basing it on all the characters that were part of my story in the Truphma war, ie the A-team.
@Tommy, Popinloopy and everyone who was part of it (Hict, Muchiha, 0Neo, Darksaber22,Hero of the Scapes...) and all those who I've forgotten, please PM me the details of your Chars(Looks, stances etc)

So here goes the final scene

quote:

Sophie leads the assault with Adrian, Luke, Hict, Abaraa and Seth while Taelord, Hikari, Popinloopy, Moe, 0Neo, Martin form a cover for those charging head on. Storm forms an empathy link with the rest of the group as he scouts over the battle field.

Meanwhile, while Xage is taking the fainted Madara back to Paxia, Madara wakes up, and tells Xage to go back to the camp. He confesses that he has to go back to paxia to arrange a Paxian strike force because Hict and Seth predicted that Xov is personally coming to finish them off. He gives Xage a mana Potion which heals him completely, and Madara summons a skeletal dragon as he flies off towards the camp.

The strike force led by Sophie starts clearing off the Truphma forces, while Hikari, Taelord and Martin provide aerial support. Moe, Wyrm and Popinloopy take up the mantle for covering the spellcasters Martin, 0Neo who start their magical long range assaults.

With Storm predicting and forwarning the group about any dangers or out of the ordinary attacks coming their way, they A-team start gaining the upper hand and the Truphma forces begin to dwindle.

But just as The strike force begins to approach the last three battalions, a piercing noise halts them all in their tracks. The look up to see the source and find Xov personally leading a force of elite "black" ops truphma.

She comes forth and applauds the A-team, and openly asks them to join her, which the more than politely refuse. She then asks of Seth by name, and then calls forward a truphma in a cloak and Its revealed to be a Dulled Xage.
She explains that she caught him flying towards the camp, and personally dulled him, meaning that the results are permanent. She declares that he is now one of them, and there is nothing that even Eukara could do to reverse it. Her final pre battle quote, "You chose the wrong savior"

As Seth is still trying to grasp the situation, the rest of them charge forward towards the oncoming Truphma. A few soldiers manage to evade the A-team, and go for a head on attack towards Seth. Seth just manages to stomp a spear from impaling his forhead, and breaks the Hydra seal in a burst of rage. The flames from his seal, as well as his invocation of igneus's flames incinerates all of his adversaries.

Hikari, sensing the weakness of his comrades as well as the direness of the situation, releases his limit and creates a ice-earth dragon with the last bit of his mana. In a final command before he looses conciousness, he directs it towards the Truphma armys teleportation portal. The dragon goes on a chilling rampage before eventually bulldozing the portal, and exploding.

The explosion causes a massive frostbite, which annihilates over half of the Truphma army. Seth, now driven mad with rage attempts to attack Xov head on but is countered by Xage. Unable to hurt his brother, he starts loosing the battle and the now dulled Xage doesnt hold back, unleashing his Hydra seal.

Sophie and Hict, seeing Seth's plight attempt to stop Xage who is about to deal the death blow, but realise that they wont make it in time. Just before Xage's blade pierces Seth, three chains dig into Xage, and at an instant surround him. Xage begins to burn, as Xov turns upwards to see the one responsible, only to find a masked, hooded figure wielding the Staff of Agony chains. The figure flies at Xage, and stands over Seth. With a tug of his staff, Xage's body gets incinerated.

He turns towards Xov, and Xov's face convulges in horror, and he casts a slew of fireballs at her. Xov manages to dodge them, and issues a warning that they might have delayed the war, but it is inevitable.

With their leader gone, the rest of the Truphma fall and some surrender. The hooded figure approaches the weakened Seth, and attempts to cast a spell, which prompts Sophie to demand him to back of. Seth grinches at the sight of the figures face, whereas the figure removes his hood to reveal a mohawk sporting Xage.

The group exclaims Xage, which he prompts is incorrect. His true name is Segax, and he's Xage's analogue from an alternate reality. He reveals that his world was destroyed by the a coalition of Truphma and a group of Shadows led by Ultimon. He proclaims that he's the only one who was able to get away, and he's here to help them stop a cataclysmic event from taking place, one that would begin at Frostval. Seth who was being tended by Luke, stands up and asks him how can he trust someone who can kill himself, which prompts Segax to reply that Xage was dead the moment Xov laid her hands on him. He says that Seth shielded him from Xovs assault which cost him his life in the alternate universe, and he was just returning the favour.

Seth drops down his Overlord Plate saying its a reminder of how he failed to protect his brother, and from now on he doesnt have one and begins to walk away towards the incoming Paxian forces. The rest of the group follow him, but he turns around and addresses Segax "We're done!"

Segax smirks, and summons a skeletal dragon and exclaims "Like it or not, We can never be done Seth.. we are brothers!" Saying that, he flies off.



PS: This was how the plot was going to end from the beginning when I started the story, and just so you know add an S at the end of Xage and spell it backwards!

Cheers!!


< Message edited by ss2195 -- 12/10/2013 17:00:03 >
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 656
12/13/2013 12:39:01   
0Neo
Member

Gentleman, I have to say this has being a truly magnificent experience. I'm sorry too, for not saying anything during all this time but I will keep my word; now that I have the time, I will finish my war story the way I wanted to from the start, and that is the Insult to injury final arc (Three chapters!). Just like I promised months ago, I will finish this on its whole. I apologize for the inconvenience of that much reading and of my rather low lexical resources during well, my whole story....I just guess you just let your ideas flow if you get too passionate about it. I'll try my best to reach your expectations as a Frostvale gift!

Kors, your story was my first inspiration and I'm really glad you found enough inspiration to finish it; a truly wonderful literary piece.

Tommy, I think you were the one I challenged the most. Your writing skills, your clear ideas, the way you depict the action and the ending.....Tragedy was something I wasn't expecting but I guess it is refreshing to behold the possibility of failure. I loved your story and the way you depicted our characters; I can only hope I'll do something as marvelous.

And ss2195, you had the right balance of action and comedy that most people dream about during their wildest adventure dreams. With the skill you have to describe events, I am sure Xage's death would've been painful to read. I enjoyed your work a lot.

Everyone, I can just hope I'll be able to honor one of the best wars of 2013 and your characters through the end of my story. Wish me a luck and merry Frostvale to all of you!

_____________________________

A man's rubbish is another's treasure~
A man's ordeal is another's pleasure~
AQ  Post #: 657
12/13/2013 13:04:25   
Seth Hydra
How We Roll Winner
Nov14


Actually, come to think about it, why dont we create one regarding the delivery or Zorbaks situation if there is a war... That seems more appropriate!
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 658
12/13/2013 14:58:27   
tommy2468
Member

Currently I am the co-writer of Popinloopy's great epic, which includes a number of the greatest warmongers in Adventure Quest and Dragonfable.

But I do think it would be an awesome idea for some of the writers from here to do something like that :) I wouldn't be able to contribute anything (without taking my time away from Popinloopy's story) but I would be happy to proof-read and make sure that the grammar is correct
AQ  Post #: 659
12/14/2013 13:45:11   
0Neo
Member

I would like to help but I'm not sure if I could so I won't promise anything regarding that one. If I can, I will for sure
AQ  Post #: 660
12/25/2013 22:21:25   
popinloopy
Member

I'd like to help, if you don't mind. Despite having another story, I have a bit of free time.
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 661
12/25/2013 23:37:17   
kors
Member

Eh... I promised myself that I would not do another war story until I make some more headway into my story, so if it actually happens I'll have to sit it out. Especially since I am starting to write more again, and have missed my last goal(Not to mention the last good symbolic date for the next 3 months...).

Anyway... I have just gotten a chance to look at some of the comment left here a while ago.
tommy: It's touching that you gave my character such an important role. I feel kinda bad that I didn't get our characters to meet in mine, especially with Hikari's backstory the way it was. I wish I had done more and had more time, but I am done and not looking back for the time being.
ss2195: I really wish I had payed closer attention to your story from the start, it is quite an interesting read
0Neo: Thanks for the compliments, but as I said for tommy if only I had done more and had more time. Hope you finish your story, I'll keep an eye out for that day.
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 662
1/23/2014 5:48:05   
darksaber22
Member

just read what you posted and that tragic end was unexpected and this may be a late reply but good job on that story its a shame the characters had to die though :(

< Message edited by darksaber22 -- 1/23/2014 5:56:19 >
AQ DF MQ AQW  Post #: 663
12/3/2014 9:51:36   
Seth Hydra
How We Roll Winner
Nov14


Good times... sadly not many seem to write anymore!
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 664
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