Screen is black. White numbers roll across it, constantly changing positions. Operation symbols appear between them, and the math problems are completed.


VOICEOVER:
In an alternate reality, not so different from this one, guns and bombs have not been invented. War machines do not exist. Napalm is not a word. If ever someone would wants to hurt, to maim, to kill—they would use numbers.


We see a battlefield, the people on each side almost motionless. The camera zooms into their hands, and we see them frantically working on graphing calculators. One shouts, “SINE WAVE INCOMING!” Several men gurgle and fall to the ground writhing. A man standing near a fallen soldier screams, “SINE WAVES? I’LL TEACH YOU TO USE SINE WAVES!” He pushes one button, hard, and half of the opposing force falls down screaming.


VOICEOVER:
A special branch of the government has been created specifically to combat the “dirty math” used by terrorists. This branch is called MIA—the Mathematic Integrity Agency. Their job is to make sure that no one attempts anything that would violate the laws of mathematics. Usually it’s petty things—someone, pulling a prank on their friend, tries to find the square root of a negative number, or the arcsine of a number greater than one. But this time, a larger case has landed on their desk. Much larger.


We see a conference room, with five men sitting in a circle around a table. A space at the head of the table is unoccupied.
A man rushes through the door and slams a thick folder on the table. He is breathing hard.

FIRST MAN:
Fractal! You called us here and then showed up late, what the hell’s going on?

FRACTAL:
This is big, Des. Real big.

DES:
What, is someone trying to find the end of pi again?

FRACTAL:
No. No, Des. This is… so much worse.

THIRD MAN:
Well, spit it out!

FRACTAL:
You know that group we’ve been following in Greece? Pythagoras’ Disciples?

THIRD MAN:
Yeah.

FRACTAL:
Well… they… they’re trying to divide by zero.

Stunned silence, a halfhearted giggle

THIRD MAN:
But… that’s a mathematical impossibility. A paradox, even. Zero goes over nine thousand times—over infinite times—into any positive number!

FRACTAL:
Do you think that will dissuade the Disciples?

THIRD MAN:
*gulps* But… what will happen if they succeed?

FRACTAL:
God help us if we ever find out.

A series of images flash: an abacus, a calculator, men running through a field, a computer, hands on a keyboard, and then we see only the lower half of someone’s face, smiling sinisterly. Camera switches to that person’s hand on a calculator. We cannot see the screen. He presses the “equals” button. The screen goes black, and the number one appears. A line appears under it. A zero appears under the line, making “1/0.” The zero and the one move to the left, and the line under the one tilts until it is vertical. The words “ERROR: SYNTAX” form around the symbols. The 1 has become part of the letter E, the line has become the vertical part of the letter Y, and the 0 has become the O in ERROR. 3.14.15 appears under it, indicating March 14th, 2015.

VOICEOVER:
Don’t touch the equal sign.