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12/31/2009 22:43:13

Goldstein
Member

Here's Part One...very rough. Any comments are welcome. Thanks!

Post #: 1

1/2/2010 2:24:45

ringulreith
Member

Over all, it was okay. The only big problem with it is the sentenses are to similar--most of them start with I. I know that it's hard to write non-repetitive sentenses in the first person, but do try. I find that the stories that do so are much more interesting to read.

That's all for now.

Post #: 2

1/2/2010 10:15:18

Goldstein
Member

Well, since the main character has OCD, he likes perfection and structure. So I thought such similar sentence patterns would better convey that. Failed, huh?

Post #: 3

1/2/2010 13:52:47

ringulreith
Member

I don't actually know what OCD is. o.o

Post #: 4

1/2/2010 16:02:04

Goldstein
Member

OCD is Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. People affected by it have rituals where they do things over and over, or an illogical feeling or premonition of dread will grip them. Such rituals may be not stepping on a crack on the ground, washing their hands repetitively, wearing the same clothes or types of clothing over and over. It's a very repetitive disease.

Post #: 5

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