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(HS) Monster of the Swamp Discussion

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8/8/2011 0:49:32   
Sir Night
Member

The story is here.
Post #: 1
8/8/2011 1:16:51   
Shadowlord9k
Member

Reminds me of a SyFy movie.



But good, keep it up.
AQ DF AQW Epic  Post #: 2
8/8/2011 9:03:42   
Sir Night
Member

Yeah I decided to follow the style of a SyFy movie for this.

< Message edited by Sir Night -- 8/8/2011 9:05:28 >
Post #: 3
8/9/2011 14:28:40   
Clown the Jester
Member

The first chapter had that terror monster feel I got from watching Jaws. YA know. An unstoppable beast that you can't see. I liked it.


2nd chapter: Coffee queen confused me but I found it very humerous.


Giant Crocodiles are always terrifying. Hm. Super Swamp. Intresting setting. We should have it in Herosmash. There are so many possibilities with such a place.



I like the monster hunt theme. Very nice.




Sorry I didn't comment before. I've been busy. But this is a great start for a story.

AQW Epic  Post #: 4
8/9/2011 14:53:15   
Sir Night
Member

Thanks Clown. I was starting to wonder if anyone other than Shadowlord was even reading the story.

As for Coffee Queen, she's a secondary character of mine. I'd put the offer up before to use other people's characters in this story, but nobody took me up on it, so I figured she was perfect for the part.
Post #: 5
8/9/2011 18:15:51   
Clown the Jester
Member

Oh sorry dude. My bad.

You can use mine if you wish and I'm pritty sure Gray Silhouette wouldn't mind either.

Instead of putting up an offer, ask specific people you want if you can use them.



Interesting though. You may want to try doing a story with character you make up. You are obviously very creative at it.



Can't wait for pt3. Jeez the giant monster hunt in murky waters is just such a good idea. I really like it. No lie. I mean is that object over their a large log? Or a man eatting reptile? Was that a tail slapping the water? Or did someone throw a rock into the water? Did I imagine I was in a boat full of people? Or is something eating them as I speak. Did I hear something behind me? Or am I just going cra...WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


SPLASH!
AQW Epic  Post #: 6
8/9/2011 18:26:16   
delta blitz
Member

Sry I myself am busy writing my own story but I wouldn't want you to think that I wasn't reading your's so heres my comment:hmm....interesting story unforunitly the character of mine that would fit perfectly here isn't finished being explained so I will just give you a monster idea. How about a swamp leech that is fused with sometype of lich of some sorts= bloodsucking immortal maddness(perfect for those pesky clowns).
AQ AQW Epic  Post #: 7
8/10/2011 0:39:55   
Jae10
Creative!
Constructive!


 < I really really really had fun reading it so far. It had an eerie, sci-fi/action (as was previously mentioned) feel to it that made for an excellent beginning. I was so shocked the way that guy just shot those two dude so ruthlessly, without even hesitating. I cringed...it was absolutely infuriating. I'm ashamed to say that I was much relieved when those criminals got eaten. Sadly, I'm afraid of what happened to Crystal. I hope Coffee Queen can put an end to this terrorizing monster's insatiable appetite! But overall, this is a great story. It's like an awesome movie I can watch in my head! :D
AQW  Post #: 8
8/10/2011 16:14:40   
Celestin123
Member

Wow! You've got a great story here, Sir Night! I really liked the monster-ish theme, and I loved the first chapter!
LOL, I was happy to see that you "dealt" with those nasty criminals but I feel pretty bad for those poor picnicers,
especially Crystal......

I'm very curious about this Coffee Queen character though, lol I love the way she thinks though.
"No movies and no villians to get because of a Drakkoniss, what am I gonna do now!?D="
I'm curious about her what her powers are too! I hope she doesn't suffer the same fate the others did though......

< Message edited by Celestin123 -- 8/10/2011 19:13:00 >
AQ  Post #: 9
8/10/2011 19:07:23   
Shadowlord9k
Member

Celestin: Maybe the Coffee Queen can shoot coffee out of her hands.
Keep up the good work.
AQ DF AQW Epic  Post #: 10
8/10/2011 22:07:26   
Sir Night
Member

Wow, thanks for the compliments guys! Glad you're enjoying it so far. I'll try to get the next chapter up as soon as possible.
Post #: 11
8/16/2011 0:13:13   
Shadowlord9k
Member

I was right about the powers, I guess.


DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHN
I did not see that ending coming, I want to see what happens next.
AQ DF AQW Epic  Post #: 12
8/16/2011 2:57:20   
Watziname WAT
Member

Epic story!
As much as I hate to say it,it's much better than my first chapter -_-''
Can't wait to see what happenes next.
Perhaps Crocky-Wocky is Crystals friend now.

Anyhoo,cweepy D:
Yes,I meant to put a ''w'' instead of an ''r'' :P
AQW Epic  Post #: 13
8/16/2011 6:55:35   
Crystal Lion
Member
 

 Ok, that was unexpected. So... Reminds me a bit of Beauty and the Beast with the "Girl is friends with a monster," part. What happens next? I can't wait to read it.
Post #: 14
8/16/2011 7:51:50   
megakyle777
Member

If you like, you can use me. I am sure that The Dealer would be interested in what lies in the swamp and how the monster came to be. Although, he would not approve of tearing it down mind. The Green section of the Colour Corps would be angry. In fact, he could probably send them to check it out since they are good in natural enviroments, what with their nature powers. Or whatever is in that safe. Keep in mind I edit this as I read.

< Message edited by megakyle777 -- 8/16/2011 7:53:03 >
DF  Post #: 15
8/16/2011 9:57:28   
Sir Night
Member

I can use The Dealer? Sweet. I don't know enough about your character or your company to know what their interest would be in the monster, but if you want you can PM me this information. And I will definitely be able to use him in the story either way.

< Message edited by Sir Night -- 8/16/2011 10:01:27 >
Post #: 16
8/16/2011 23:12:19   
Watziname WAT
Member

You can use the almighty Me too :P
War Pro's the name,smashings de game.
If ya want,I'll PM the information of me land-lubber.
AQW Epic  Post #: 17
8/17/2011 0:49:01   
Sir Night
Member

Ok, go ahead and send me your information and I'll work on getting you in there.

Also, do you guys think it would be way over the top to add a soundtrack to the story?

< Message edited by Sir Night -- 8/17/2011 1:00:55 >
Post #: 18
8/17/2011 4:44:01   
megakyle777
Member

Sorry about the four PMs, I just wanted to send you my bios to do with The Dealer. I tried to keep it low, but I guess I got carried away. My apologies. But if you be so kind, would you tell me what you think of them and what ones, if any after the info dump, you think could fit in?

ALso, don't know about the soundtrack. It could be good, but I would suggest using lesser known tracks that give it a distictive B-Movie feel.
DF  Post #: 19
8/17/2011 5:12:27   
UnityDestroyer
Member

Hmm...

An interesting one!

I passed my bio to you. Please take care of my Sci-fi bio.
Post #: 20
8/25/2011 4:27:19   
megakyle777
Member

I read the latest chapters. Nice work on the Green Colour Corps by the way.
DF  Post #: 21
8/30/2011 13:10:56   
Arachnid
Member

Very interesting story, I'd like to read more of it.

~Lady Zafara
AQW  Post #: 22
8/30/2011 18:40:59   
delta blitz
Member

Epic new chapters,and very unique as well. I like where this story is going and sadly I must say that I will be taking some time out of writing to read your story to the fullest. Also I give you permission to use the David Blitz from the perfect soldier story. the character I speak of is in the second story of this thread
AQ AQW Epic  Post #: 23
8/30/2011 23:19:23   
Sir Night
Member

Thanks guys!

quote:

I will be taking some time out of writing to read your story to the fullest.


Well I wouldn't want you to stop writing your own stories, but it is an honor that you said that!
Post #: 24
9/6/2011 11:09:12   
Sir Night
Member

Ok David, I finally started reading the perfect soldier story and I have to say that it's very interesting so far. And I can see that the David Blitz from that story will fit nicely into my story, so he's in. However, the story does look kinda long, so I need to ask: How far into it will I need to read before I know enough about him to write him into my next chapter?

And yeah double post, I know.
Post #: 25
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