superjars
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Well, if you know how to write scripts, then you've got the first part down. As higher functioning beings, we do this thing called visualization. For some, the scene unfolds in their head like a movie, pictures and characters flitting through the mind's eye. Others, like me, just get these long descriptive passages of text running through our heads, which somehow translates into a visual, even though we can't see the visual entirely (don't know how to explain it, I just have a weird mind). Once you have that set of images, put it in slow motion, press play and try to describe what you see. They say that a picture is worth 1,000 words, but the opposite is also true. It will take 1,000 words to describe a picture. Now, of course, you won't be using all 1,000 of those words for each image, or you'll never finish your story, so the trick is to focus on the important things in the image, the things which draw your attention and keep you rapt in attention to it. Those are what you want your readers to visualize and see when they read your passage. You want to hit the major highlights of the scene and let their imaginations fill in the rest. As for your above example, this is how I would write that scene: EXTERIOR - PARK - DAY Johnny Deep: Why goodness gracious --he fans himself with his hands-- Its very hot out here today! Sylvester the Stone: I concur Mr. Deep --Shift uncomfortably in his seat, Middle shot/Pan left-- It sure is rather humid today. Johnny Deep: I know! --Stand up in excitement-- Lets go get ice cream! The golden rays of the sun poured down through the thick foliage of the trees upon two men, sitting beside each other on a dilapidated park bench. They had just stopped to rest after a lengthy run and were try to cool down from the heat of a humid and scorching summer day. "Why goodness gracious," Johnny Deep exclaimed, his hand furiously fanning himself, attempting to move the air around him to cool down. "It's very hot out here today!" "I concur, Mr. Deep," Sylvester the Stone replied matter-of-factly, shifting his body uncomfortably on the bench, not entirely sure how to respond. "It sure is rather humid today." "I know!" Johnny cried as he bolted to his feet, a look of excitement spread over his jovial features. "Let's go get ice cream!" Sylvester nodded in agreement and pushed himself ponderously to his feet, and the two men sauntered off to find a vendor who could fill their dessert wishes. This is but one of the ways in which this could be written, as this is simply the way it appeared in my head. When you write, you translate the images your mind creates into the words that will spark the mind of your reader to see the very same image (or at least one very similar).
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