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(AQW) Jinter Poseidon's Stories discussion

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10/31/2017 16:34:53   
Beshin Adin
Member
 

 story

< Message edited by Beshin Adin -- 11/8/2017 10:43:20 >
AQ AQW  Post #: 1
2/23/2018 18:43:08   
  Master Samak
Productive!
Steward Leprechaun
L&L


 Hi, Beshin Adin!

I read Jinter Poseidon's Stories! Right away, I should tell you that I am very behind on the lore so far in AQW, so I can't use the game as a strong frame of reference. I nevertheless enjoyed reading through the story!

There are a lot of names I recognized—Oaklore, Swordhaven, King Brentan, the Naval Commander class, for example—and I loved how you used the mythology of Lore's Eight Elements to create a cool swordmaster's move. That's a neat concept, which seems to belong to more characters beyond Jinter! Aaah!

The writing style, the way the characters moved or spoke, the points of humor in certain parts, reminded me often of anime. You toed the line often when it came to sexual elements in that way. Thank you for leaving more to the imagination. :)

I'm curious to see how the villain plays out! Zayi is a mystery, even more so with technology present in the world of Lolosia.

I won't give specific grammatical notes unless you want them, but do be sure to look back at your story so far. It helps to encourage more detail and/or discover ways to clean up the text.

All in all, a nice story! Write on!
AQ DF  Post #: 2
3/3/2018 10:48:28   
Beshin Adin
Member
 

 Just so you know, here's a list of originals:

Jinter
Chisa
Zayi
Kowafri
Dangris
Jenna
Dosugenedo

Rakham, Brentan, Victoria, and Odessa are all AE

AQ AQW  Post #: 3
3/3/2018 16:50:17   
  Master Samak
Productive!
Steward Leprechaun
L&L


 Oh cool, a lot more originals! That is awesome how you've created such new characters. AE Fanfiction!!! :D
AQ DF  Post #: 4
3/5/2018 18:45:37   
Beshin Adin
Member
 

 Actually, to save stress on my brain, I based some on existing animr characters

Jinter = Tatsumi from 'Akame ga KILL'
Chisa = Chelsea from 'Akame ga KILL'
Zayi = Izaya Orihara from Durarara
Kowafri = Kona Furugoori from 'Robotics;Notes'
Dangris & Jenna = Just a mix of Jinter & Rakham's looks
Dosugenedo = Speedbum character, so he got an original design
AQ AQW  Post #: 5
8/7/2018 11:56:26   
Beshin Adin
Member
 

 I realize that some of the Japanese translations aren't exact. Took a while to find a good translator.
AQ AQW  Post #: 6
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