Xirminator
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I Am Time
I am Time. Yes, the Time. The manifestation of Time: a talking, living being. Why am I speaking to you, you ask? To tell you the truth, I need your help. Yes, your help. Oh, yes, I know what I am. Despite all my powers, I have found myself in a situation where – ah – an ally such as you would be useful. Why you? I do not know. Probability. Random chance. But here we are. The why is irrelevant. The what happens now is what I care about.
Now, let me explain. No you are not mad! This is real! Now stop fidgeting!
Yes, you may drink some of that. It is your tea. You do not have to ask me. Oh, really? Yes I will indeed, thank you… my, this is excellent tea!
Now, back to business. I have a rather, let’s say – awkward – court case. Yes, a court case, with a judge and everything. Now, let me finish.
A friend of mine, Death, has – well – he has been doing his job, but in a way that greatly inconveniences me. You see, I am responsible for the lighting here. Yes, the lighting. I mean the sun, the stars and all that. I created them. When I applied for the job, they told me to create light for the universe.
But Death has been destroying the stars! He says, that after several billion years, their time was up! You know that I, as Time, represent continuation and infinity. I do not end. I cannot end. I represent a continuous flow of never-ending smoothness in the passage of existence. The destruction of my stars, well, it is leaving holes in time and space. I believe you mortals refer to them as black holes.
I know how they come to be – I have placed a tiny portion of my power in the most beautiful of the lights – and when Death destroys them… that power vanishes! Time vanishes! It leaves a hole in the continuum. The space part… that is not my problem. Let Creation deal with it – the idle slob! Do you know he has not created anything since the beginning of the universe? The sloth! Well, let me explain how it is your problem.
I understand that it is Death’s job to end things, but not to damage time. It was in the contract, stated clear as crystal –- You will leave Time and all of his essence, untouched and undamaged in any way. You will not destroy the essence of time –- and he knows full well that my essence was there! Now, let me explain your role. I need you to defend my cause. I need a defendant in court. A lawyer? A lawyer? My god, have you not heard?
I threatened to sue Death, and he killed every lawyer in the universe! No he will not kill you! You are under my protection! I already have poured some of my power into you, although you have not realized it. It is my gift, and in return, I hope you will aid me. I understand you are not skilled in law, but I am. Oh, I just need you to fill the seat.
And by the way… your new name as my servant: Hourglass. We shall talk about your services and privileges after the court session. I am leaving now.
Meet me at noon, January the third, year 1848, right here. That is one hundred sixty one years ago. How? You are an aspect of me now. You command an aspect of time! Just command, and everything will be clear. Here, take the cup.
Goodbye now. Thank you for the tea.
I sat at my kitchen table, stunned. There were two small teacups on the table, one had been drained, the other left untouched. I had offered tea to Time itself, and he had drank it. Or maybe it was all just a hallucination: something that came from drinking too much tea. The funny thing was, I didn’t even know what Time looked liked. I didn’t recall doing anything when he was speaking to me. Everything he said was slipping away, except one thing, which rang clearly like a bell.
Noon, January the third, year 1848.
I knew I had to be there. But how did I get there? How long did I have to get there? Then, it dawned on me that I was already late. A hundred and sixty one years late. The only possible thing to attend the meeting was to go back in time – but how on earth did one go back in time? I stopped thinking then. It was too much for me. I drank my now-cold tea. I washed the teacup, dried it and replaced it in the cupboard.
Then I sat back down.
Was I mad? Perhaps at that particular moment, I might have been a little bit mad. I needed more tea. Or maybe something stronger. A bottle of golden-yellow whiskey glittered invitingly from the top shelf. I looked away. The year on the bottle said 1848. Then I remembered with dread: I had to get there. Time needed my help.
Command, he had said. Command and everything will be clear.
Command? Command what?
“Move!” I yelled at the toaster. Nothing happened. I considered it. “Please, move,” I requested politely. It sat there with a squat defiance unbecoming of a toaster. I forced myself not to grab it and throw it out of the window. The fact that it had not moved was reminding me how stupid I was. “I cannot move things on command,” I said firmly. “It is not possible for things to move on their own accord.”
Exactly on that moment, someone knocked on the door. I got up, welcoming the distraction and hurried to open the door. It was a postman. I smiled. I had been waiting for the post. Maybe they had finally decided to accept my application for a post at the Greensave Supermarket. An email would have been much faster, but I liked to be formal that way.
The postman nodded curtly and handed me a square white envelope. I didn’t notice him leaving. My eyes had read my address, and then I had flipped the enveloped to see if I recognized the sender. Then my eyes froze, fastened on those spidery letters composing the address.
If undelivered, please mail to:
The Nexus of Time and Space,
At exactly the 7th hour of the 23rd day,
Of the sixth month, of the year 12,152.
I gaped. This was a joke, surely. My hand trembled. I fumbled with the envelope, and then drew a neatly folded piece of parchment from it. It was written in the same elegant, spidery letters. It was not printing – it looked as if someone had written it with one of those big quill feathers.
Dear Hourglass,
I believe I owe you an explanation regarding your new job, and suitable directions to our rendezvous. I have promoted you to my Personal Assistant. That means you get to help me when necessary and do certain tasks that I cannot attend to personally. I would also like to introduce you to the rest of the staff, as soon as we are done with the court session.
Regarding the rendezvous: I know that humans in your current time have no means of traversing time, but as my Personal Assistant, I have blessed you with certain abilities. Command yourself to be present on noon, January the 3rd 1848 and you shall be there.
I look forward to speaking with you again,
Your Sincerely,
Time
The sheer ignorance of my free will expressed in the letter outraged me. He had promoted me? Promoted me? I didn’t work for him! But there was more:
PS: As my Personal Assistant, you will also make me tea.
PPS: Any memory resets regarding any job you currently have or have applied for will be taken care of by Watch.
PPPS: Weather is ridiculous here.
I flung the letter into the air and ran screaming into the house. At that moment, I had entirely lost it. The whiskey bottle devoted its contents to steadying me, and I, slightly drunk, went to bed.
I woke up groggily. Somehow during the night, my mind had made itself up to go. To go back in time. In my opinion, it was a stupid mind, but there it was, I was rearing to go. I washed my face, brushed my teeth and put on my best suit and shined my shoes. I was, after all, going to court. I walked out of the front door and stood on my lawn.
If I were going back in time, I might as well be out of the house; what if I appeared in somebody else’s house? I imagined old-fashioned frying pans flying at my head. I took a deep breath, and screwed up my face, concentrating on that sole date.
It was easier than I had expected. Easier than falling asleep.
Everything around me changed instantly, as if I had switched a TV channel. Fields replaced road and houses, and a huge oak tree replaced my house. My shiny shoes sank in a deep layer of mud. Apparently, it had just rained, but the noon sun was poking a few rays through the clouds. I knew that in fact, I had disappeared from the other time, and arrived in this one. It was noon. I checked my watch. It still displayed the old time.
PERFECT TIMING came a voice from behind me. It was oddly familiar, not quite the voice I thought I recalled. It also reverberated in my head, but not my surroundings. AS YOU CAN SEE, YOU HAD ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD GETTING HERE. YOU CANNOT BE LATE.
I turned around. There was no one.
HANG ON A SECOND. SLIGHT PROBLEM IN 326B.C. I stared, aghast, but almost instantly, the voice said, DONE.
“That was fast,” I muttered.
ACTUALLY, IT TOOK ME EIGHTEEN YEARS TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM. BUT I CHOSE TO RETURN TO THE EXACT SECOND AFTER I LEFT. YOU SEE –
“Oh,” I said quickly. “I’d rather you didn’t explain.”
YES, OF COURSE. NOW LET ME ASSUME MY CORPOREAL FORM. A brown cloaked and hooded figure materialized in front of me. I didn’t even blink – I was becoming very blasé about all this supernatural frolicking-about. I raised an eyebrow at his attire.
“It’s for the mystical impression,” he explained. “Too much, you think?”
I shrugged.
“Death goes for the Grim Reaper impression,” said Time. “I cannot imagine why. But knowing that this time would come, I assumed this form before he ever did, so I’m the original creator of the Grim Reaper.”
“What am I supposed to do, really?” I asked, ignoring what he had just said. My mind was whirling in confusion, trying to keep up with the events.
“I require you to sit down and give me advice during the duration of the court session,” said Time. “I will deal with the actual debates.”
“That’s all?” I asked calmly.
“Yes, precisely.”
“You forced me to come to the year 1848 just to sit down?”
“Yes. If I appear to have no law advisers, I would not be very credible,” said Time. I couldn’t see his face and that was annoying. “I believed Death has trapped the souls of all the lawyers in one place, and is carrying them with him. With their combined intelligence, I doubt how lucky we will be.”
I nodded. There was nothing I could bring myself to say. My self-control was straining under the pressure of rage, fury and indignation.
“Now, let me tell you my plan,” said Time.
“You have a plan?” I asked. “For going to court?”
“Of course. I told you to meet me here so we could discuss it, in peace. Death is busy elsewhere in this timeline, and he has no idea what will occur in one hundred sixty one years’ time. Now, as I was saying with the combined intelligence of 8,038,492 lawyers–”
“There are that many lawyers in the world?”
“No, there are many, many more,” said Time. “Death killed all the ones who were actually intelligent. Now let me explain my plan, please. During the court session, I will be under strict observation – if I use my powers, they will know. But you, you can use your power. I want you to advise me.”
“I thought you just wanted me to sit down?” I asked.
“Yes, but I just had an idea, you know?” explained Time. “And as Time, I knew I would have an idea in the future… er… past, and asked you to go back in time so I could relay it to you. The session shall be on the 26th of January, 2009. I shall come for you there. You may go back home.” Then he vanished.
< Message edited by Xirminator -- 1/27/2009 13:09:07 >
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