Goldstein
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A Very Merry…And Unusual Christmas
The paladin burst through the door, his sword drawn, a rather unpleasant snarl on his face. I smiled, and turned to him, my eyebrows raised.
“Yes? Please, my dear paladin, what could you POSSIBLY want with me?” I asked playfully.
The paladin raised his long sword-it was covered in something that looked suspiciously like bone dust-and pointed it menacingly at me. “I have come to end your reign of terror, you vile Necromancer! Prepare to be exorcised and cast into the fiery depths of hell where you shall be punished endlessly for the horrifying acts you have committed!”
I set down the tray of toxins I was carrying, and turned to the paladin. I smiled, and clapped slowly and mockingly. “Wonderful speech, my dear fellow. Now, before we do all that-no worries, you CAN do all that, I have a few questions for you. Eh?”
The paladin’s sword fell slightly, and he scoffed. “…very well, you fool.”
I smiled, and smoothed the creases of my black robes. “Alright, first question. How am I fool?”
The paladin grinned, his lip curled. “You left your tower almost totally unguarded. You have raised no alerts. You have not tried to defend yourself at all. All you want to do is talk to me! What kind of Necromancer are you?”
I smiled, interlaced my fingers, and fell back into a tall plush chair. “I’m a Necromancer who DOESN’T…hate Christmas.”
The paladin at first tried to stifle his laughter, but he seemed to be too weak for even that. His sword clattered to the floor as he let go of it as he doubled over in laughter. “A-all Necro-omancers h-h-hate Christmas!”
I titled my head, and smiled. I always smile a lot during the holidays. “Not me. I have no horrible childhood memories. No bad experiences, of me not getting any presents. Christmas always was, and still is, a bright spot in my life.”
The paladin’s laughter faded away, and he looked up, a dubious look on his face. “R…really?” he asked, his tone heavily laden with doubt.
“Yes…but, silly me. Of course a PALADIN…would be stereotypical.”
The paladin snorted, and tenderly picked up his sword. “Yes, I suppose I am…anyway, are we DONE? I want to get back to my family.”
I stood up, and walked to my window. “Who’s stopping you? I certainly am not.” I said, my tone a little too harsh for my liking.
There was a moment of silence. I could still hear the paladin’s armor jingling, so I assumed he was till here. “Snow is beautiful, huh?”
“I…suppose.” came the paladin’s voice behind me.
“I like snow mostly because…I see it, and I like to think, it gives us a new start. Every night, all impurities are washed away by the beautiful, clean frozen water. Nice thing to think about, eh?”
“This…is rubbish! You are insane!” cried the paladin indignantly.
I turned around, smiling. “Really? I’m the insane one?”
“Yes!” yelled the paladin. I noticed he was gripping his sword quite hard. “You summon undead to serve you!”
“Yes!” I retorted, startled by my fierceness. “I summon undead to serve me to serve the people of my village!”
“How?” cried the paladin. “How do undead serve the village?”
I raised my eyebrows. “You no doubt have slain the few undead patrolling my tower, no?”
“Yes. With pride.” growled the paladin. He was slowly circling me, a sneer on his face, his sword poised before him.
I chuckled softly and sadly shook my head. “Did you notice anything…odd about my undead? Something that looked…different?”
The paladin’s face twitched unpleasantly as he thought back. “Well…actually…yes. Yes I did.”
“A Santa hat, correct? A red hat with white fur lining and a bell attached to the
end of it?” I asked politely in a questioning tone.
The sword’s point fell to the ground, and the paladin’s face was a twisted thing of confusion. “Why…why WERE they wearing those things?”
I grinned, clapping my hands together. “To spread Christmas cheer! Please, even the undead celebrate Christmas!”
The paladin’s face was still flustered to such a degree, it was comical. “So…why was your tower so insufficiently guarded tonight?”
I smiled, and returned to my window. It was a large, wide window with a low lip. It had a scenic view of a pine forest, each tree capped with a snowy hat. The sky was still a pale blue, and the air almost seemed tangible. I loved this season. “What is tonight?” I asked after a moment of silence.
“Christmas…Christmas eve.” answered the paladin, his tone laden with more confusion this time. “W-why?”
“Do you always pause half-way through a sentence?” I asked playfully. Silence was my answer. I breathed in deeply, and watched, slightly amused, as my breath drifted away into the air.
“As an adult, you must know there is no Santa Claus, a truth I desperately try to keep hidden from children. For some children, a benevolent, jolly old fellow who kindly brings them toys while they sleep sustains them in an otherwise bitter world. Yes, there is God, but Santa Claus is much more personal. God does not interact so directly as Santa does. So, every Christmas Eve, I send my little fleet of undead to deliver presents I have hand-made to the children of the village. An idealistic, maybe even foolish gesture…but one that warms and comforts me regardless.”
The paladin stared at me in disbelief. His sword hung almost harmlessly by his side. His eyebrows raised, he pointed at me, then slowly lowered his arm. I smiled kindly at him, and returned to my chair. I unscrewed a syringe from my tray, and poured it into a cup of hot water. I sipped it, and let out a satisfied sigh. “Aaaah…hot chocolate. Delicious. Would…would you care for some?” I asked, gesturing at the paladin. He waved me offer away, and slowly sheathed his blade.
“I…I do believe I’ll return to my family now. My children…will want me to be with them…when they open Santa’s gifts.”
I smiled, and raised my mug high into the air. “Merry Christmas, friend.”
The paladin smiled, a slightly dazed look in his eyes. “Merry Christmas to you as well.” And with that, he walked down the staircase, and was gone.
< Message edited by Goldstein -- 12/16/2009 16:52:25 >
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