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Tales of the Koinon, aka. Holy Wars Remixed

 
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4/17/2010 23:33:22   
Argeus the Paladin
Member

Roughly a year ago I churned out my 220K Holy War novel, and you all know how it ends. If only I have learnt about Twilight and Eragon before I created said story, I would have been doubly careful how not to write and produce such a shoddy, low-quality work and expect to sell it. To be fair it had its spotlights, but the weaknesses outweighted the strengths by a huge margin.

The central premise, however, is still as promising today as it had been two years ago, and I have decided to give it another chance. However, there would be far more modifications than any rewrite project that I have ever taken my time on.

The goals of this are:

(i) Recreate a better, more believable and less Sue-ridden plot as it used to be while still maintaining the vampires vs. <insert historical unique unit here>.
(ii) Correct all glaring research failures I have made. For instance, hetairoi aren't light supporting cavalry as their name might otherwise suggests, 470s BC Spartans don't fight in long sarissa Makedonian phalanx formation, English longbows have their own way of defending themselves against cavalry other than spearmen support, French heavy cavalry do not charge with swords, et cetera. Also add new terms and units, courtesy of Europa Barbarorum to correctly reflect the time I pick the Spartans from.
(iii) Rework the entire cast. This includes renaming most of the characters I still retained and dramatically changing the personality of a few, wipe out unnecessary characters, adding in new ones to embolden the conflicts, and most importantly create an ongoing struggle that does not just boil down to "Hoplitai vs. vampire, hoplitai win".

At present, due to my many obligations I have no idea how this will turn out. However, I'll try to do what I can.

Maybe one day from this humble beginning an epic worthy of the premise will come to life? We shall see how that works out.

The story goes here, if all that introduction has not yet bored you.


< Message edited by Argeus the Paladin -- 4/17/2010 23:35:31 >
DF  Post #: 1
5/7/2010 22:24:28   
ringulreith
Member

Hmm, very interesting. As a big fan of the previous holy war story, I'll be watching this carefully. Very nice writing, too. I think I caught some typos, but I'm sick and too laisy to go hunting them down. Can't wait to read more!
Post #: 2
7/26/2010 3:28:15   
Argeus the Paladin
Member

Thanks, ont.

What I do have here is 6 first chapters. However, as it appears from a fellow anti-twilighter elsewhere on the net, I should completely get rid of the irrelevant prologue and proceed immediately to the first chapter. I intend to heed that advice.
DF  Post #: 3
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