(HS) A Dreadful past


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11/20/2011 19:44:23

star screamer
Member

Here is where the commentary of my back story takes place.
Here is the link to the story

~Dread Screamer

< Message edited by star screamer -- 12/5/2011 16:14:38 >

AQW

Post #: 1

11/22/2011 17:02:43

Goldstein
Member

Not bad, it's easy to read, I like the direction this is taking, Star Screamer has a very creepy vibe going on. Keep it up.

Post #: 2

11/22/2011 18:30:07

star screamer
Member

Why thank you Goldenstein, and yes Star is a strange one...

~Dread Screamer

AQW

Post #: 3

11/22/2011 20:53:35

Drakkoniss
Creative!
Constructive!

Well, I think it's time I got to reading this, after putting it up on my favorites bar and all... I've been puting it off too long, anyway.

I like how you described Star Screamer in this story... both funny, and weird, which nearly personifies his insane characteristic attitude and ways.

Hehe... The location is classified to such a degree that he can't tell his own "son"... Which makes me think he's not telling you on a whim.

Interesting that he told you to wear the mask, and it wasn't your personal choice to differentiate yourself from him, like I thought it might be.

Post #: 4

11/22/2011 21:41:53

star screamer
Member

Whoa Drakkoniss are you serious? This here is me talking.
Did you actually favourite it? For that me and my psychotic ways?
Thank you.

Chapter 1 is finished.

~The controller of all my characters, Riley

< Message edited by star screamer -- 11/22/2011 22:00:31 >

AQW

Post #: 5

11/22/2011 22:43:19

Goldstein
Member

Pretty good, but I feel you could extend it with more descriptions. I like the ideas, though, so keep them coming.

Post #: 6

11/23/2011 0:26:39

UnityDestroyer
Member

It was good, but I didn't like it, I loved it!

_____________________________

Post #: 7

11/23/2011 13:26:45

Kinzdor
Member

Very nice. Could use more detail though.

AQW

Epic

Post #: 8

11/23/2011 15:48:34

star screamer
Member

Next chapter will have more detail, NO ONE SHALL WORRY!!!!

I will post chapters on a daily bases if I can. One or two a day.

Thank you Mr Unity.

~Dread Screamer

AQW

Post #: 9

11/23/2011 18:41:32

Goldstein
Member

You need to work on keeping your tenses constant.

"Within two days I started to get curious on what he needed and where the heck I was."

"That you will find out in your last moments,"

Just some corrections I saw. I like the details, but it'd be nice to know what the building, Star, and his son looked like.

Post #: 10

11/23/2011 19:30:46

star screamer
Member

Read the prologue for star, there will be later descriptions later

AQW	Post #: 11

11/24/2011 17:58:36

Drakkoniss
Creative!
Constructive!

Hmm... I do believe Star Screamer either has a different sense of taste than humans, is insane (he is anyway, but I mean is hallucinating that cats taste like mints), or is lying to corrupt you.

Yeah... Star needs to learn that super powers do not come to people in the ways of the old comic books in real life... It might also be that he is demonic in nature, and they are litterally filled with dark magic in a way similar to a human is filled with his/er soul, albeit a bit different, and more complex than that.

The ray gun part makes a bit more sense than lightning or microwave/other radiation, at least...

ON TO TRAINING!!!

Hmm... I wonder if that really is white magic, or just seems to be, because of the fact that you don't know everything about the world.

HUZZAH FOR INSANITY MAKING PEOPLE SOMEWHAT MALEABLE!!!!!!

The "Cathedral with Millions of Demon Soldiers" bit reminds me of the civil war Hell had a while back...

Very nice chapter, by the way. I reccomend either suggesting a trip to Super City, suggesting you go with him on a trip there, running away, defeating him and running away (somewhat unlikely with your skills/power level now), or having the base destroyed/something like that.

Well, now I think I'll check on other misc. HS stories...

DF	Post #: 12

11/24/2011 21:00:38

star screamer
Member

ALL SECRETS REVEALED NEXT CHAPTER!!!!
Drakkoniss, we shall see.
It could be pure light, but magic seems awesome.

~Dread Screamer

AQW	Post #: 13

11/25/2011 23:33:02

Drakkoniss
Creative!
Constructive!

I think I will read your story about... *checks invisible watch* now.

The crazy thing about cloning is that intelligence is not transfered... The clone could become smarter, or be much stupider, that the original.

And star's only that powerful? XD 10X his maximum power level... Pfft. rofl

^I'm just being silly, take no offence.

WEAPONS!!! WOOOOT!!!!!!!!

O.o Tainted silver...

I like baracudas. I find the antler choice to be insulting, though. It would just low it down, most likely, and the neck on something with a head shaped like a baracuda probably wouldn't have the proper balance of muscle strength and length to effectively weild them as weapons... :/

I do, however like the saurian eye choice.

Why the accent on Hell, I wonder... O.o

You'd think that if you were actually running at speeds comparable to Sonic, you'd be able to jump higher than 10 feet... lol

Aren't you glad you have basically the same look and scent of Star Screamer's along with vocal cords of the same arangement? XP

And yes, snow upon scenic views creates quite a beautiful sight. :)

And on that note/cliffhanger, I think I will stop reading for the night.

DF	Post #: 14

11/26/2011 0:41:04

star screamer
Member

@Drakkoniss, that isn't at maximum, just when I wants to kill a butterfly.

I actually made cuddles on spore, he has a neck and his mouth is the only barracuda part.
Antlers were just for fun.

The him running as fast as sonic wasn't him actually running that fast, I'm just saying he
ran reeeeeeeaaaallllyyyyy fast.

Yes it's only silver, I ran out of shiny black obsidian. (yes that exists)

WEAPONS OF COURSE! Where else was he gonna get all those swords and axes, from
the super market? Maybe, but not likely. And the villagers are too wimpy to give him weapons.

because British accents are awesome, expect a Russian one in the future.

Snow sometimes taste like urine! Only if it's yellow though.

The intelligence doesn't transfer except for basic stuff like language and math
and what things are. Intelligence doesn't transfer but memories can, remember that.

Invisible watches for the win.

I would take no offence anyway. Cause I'm that much like a bo- /e looks at angry people
like an employee!

Who doesn't like barracudas?

OH GOD THERE'S A HANGER ON A CLIFF!

Sorry, I'm not that smart, saurian means what exactly? Glowing orange?

Oh by the way, I Star Screamer took this reply!

Here's a picture of Cuddles, couldn't give him a tail, he was too big, well in game atleast
on twitpic he's puny! Oh yeah forgot to mention he has bat like wings.

AQW	Post #: 15

11/27/2011 22:39:22

Goldstein
Member

I have a feeling that place he got transported to was HeroSpire...just my thoughts.

Post #: 16

11/29/2011 20:29:31

star screamer
Member

Your thoughts just might be correct.

AQW	Post #: 17

12/5/2011 20:57:47

Kinzdor
Member

quote:

it was surround it with some sort of diamond like crystal,

I always thought it was ice for some reason.

AQW

Epic

Post #: 18

12/6/2011 18:00:59

star screamer
Member

I personally have no idea what the heck it is so I just said crystal.

< Message edited by star screamer -- 12/22/2011 2:36:06 >

AQW	Post #: 19

12/13/2011 22:31:49

star screamer
Member

Before I say anything,
CURSE YOU DOUBLE POST!!!
New chapter should be by this weekend
at most, if not earlier.

AQW	Post #: 20

12/22/2011 2:17:15

primalvoldo
Member

Nice new chapter star, can't wait for the Reaper's attack

Maybe Voldo could help star out....Maybe even fight Dread aswell...

< Message edited by primalvoldo -- 12/22/2011 2:19:25 >

AQW

Epic

Post #: 21

12/22/2011 2:33:17

star screamer
Member

We will see...
Part 2 of that recent chapter is out, and who knew star had a lady friend?!

AQW	Post #: 22

12/27/2011 22:54:07

Drakkoniss
Creative!
Constructive!

*whistles nonchalantly as he walks in*

... If Star was right there, why did he not do anything between chapters 3 and 4, supposedly? Then again, that is Star Screamer we are talking about so.. XD

Yaaaay, you remebered to note he had black eyes!

Lobster in waters cold enough to freeze over? O.o

Those guns werne't that big... Just 1911's, if I judged them correctly...

Many people like him... you can jsut imagine what was going through his head... I like that you showed Ingiru/the ruins in your story. Very nice. Noone's even hinted at them having living decendants, as far as I can remeber...

Artikiller is not in Liberty in-game, but meh, it's supposed to be a realistic story, and people don't just stand stationary all the time in real life, talking to random people and saying and requesting the same thing over and over... lol

Not Super City, MUST BE HEROSPIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, you seem to be relatively powerful... people hate Star. Figures. They don't even ask if you are of the same allignment, and start fighting...

I like the "bursting" part. Hehe...

quote:

“I *coughs… have no regrets…” he moaned.

“You’re not dead, idiot.” I told him.

He got to his feet and ran like hell.

I STILL FRIGGING LOVE THAT PART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

At this point, I find it odd that he most likely DIDN'T meet the Devil, although he did his son...

SkullDeep had a teleported to HeroSpire? You'd think that would be a risk big enough to mount a raid for... Or a tactical strike...

Are you sure you don't mean Tarnished Silver, not "Tainted Silver"?

Hey, look, my "I will scare the heck out of you, about now" outfit made it into a story...

Skiping to Star Screamer's PoV, I see... Hmm... Personally, I am not sure I'd react like that, but meh, it's your story, and it probably was just a precaution... If you were his clone, then why didn't I notice the resembalance (my sight sees things beyond the normal realm of observance and understanding, such as DNA)...?

Collecter's Eddition*... CRAZY!!! HE'S MAD, I SAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway...

I think I remeber seeing a blade like that before... Maybe in Hell...

You'd think demons would be more valuable than that... then again, he's mad, and possibly stupid, so it's funny. lol

Personally, I think I would be more composed in that, but then again, depending on my mood and the day, I very from Orderly/Lawful Good to Chaotic Good, so I suppose I can see myself being silly like that.

You need orange contacts, Dread. You could pose as him... if you could just get his personality correct... TO THE REAPERS!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Batman-esque transitional sequence*

Huh, Tradertown still exists at that time. Interesting continuity questions...

DEACTIVATED?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! CHEAPSCATE/S!!!!!!!!!

Why would you just offer up your name... *sees him get swarmed by Reapers* Well, off to check to see if there's a working slot amchine somewhere...

Sonyatix... I really need to familiarize myself with the people in all these clans...

This randomly reminds me of Sucubi... I dislike those.

Idk, I think you underestimate our combined combat chances/skills... and I enjoy a good bloodbath. (At this point I would like you to know that the armor I used actually increases the combat potential and versitility of me overall, even with my already considerable abilities beforehand)

Besides, if the Reapers were going to join in, it would have been good to take them out, as well. *thinks about sneaking in and slaughtering them later*

Wheeee... wonton destruction... For some reason, I have the idea of myself having jumped into the blast aimed at HeroSpire, and protecting it, given my resistance to magic, and ability to increase my powers to rival my opponent's (multiple fighters against him actually decreases the increase, but I still would have been able to block it and not die, plus have quite a bit of fight left in me for later), that seems rather reasonable...

... Regeneration powers... That makes me wonder if that's also true for the in-game storyline...

Dangit... I have to stop now. T_T

Pretty good story, overall, though, I suppose.

< Message edited by Drakkoniss -- 12/27/2011 22:55:57 >

DF	Post #: 23

12/28/2011 23:30:18

star screamer
Member

Yes Sonyatix, a psycho, let's just say.

quote:

I STILL FRIGGING LOVE THAT PART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I laughed when I wrote that scene.

Of course I could buy some orange contacts, but it would be more fun to
find them... just kidding!

I put Artikiller in liberty because as you said, his legs would basically get tired.

I added Ingiru mostly because of that, I thought: Hey, what the heck!

AQW	Post #: 24

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