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(HS) Fairgates:Antithesis - Discussion

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9/19/2011 16:50:44   
Antithesis
Member

This is the discussion thread for my fanfic series based on my hero; Antithesis.
Opinions, predictions, ect should all go here.
You can find the story itself here.

< Message edited by Antithesis -- 9/20/2011 19:15:42 >
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 1
9/19/2011 21:52:50   
Goldstein
Member

Holy tuna that was good. Like, wow. I am impressed. Kudos to you, sir. This will most certainly be one of the stories I check regularly. And if you ever need a character, simply contact me.

EDIT: You can't expect a flood of comments as soon as you start. Add a few chapters and people will start to notice, trust me.

< Message edited by Goldstein -- 9/24/2011 14:41:05 >
Post #: 2
9/24/2011 15:14:43   
star screamer
Member

I love it, people getting beat up, and Goldy is right, you can't expect comments flooding on the first chapter.
AQW  Post #: 3
9/24/2011 15:45:15   
Master Kage
Member

Critque:

The story itself is quite interesting.
I do enjoy the incorrect dialect in the russian. It allows depth to the character.
It is interesting to see to how to diffrent people can talk diffrently.
Besides the intentonal spelling i saw no spelling mistakes so that is a plus.
That the two others said there really is not much to comment on at the prolouge stage.
I cant to see where this story will go.
Post #: 4
9/24/2011 19:48:02   
Drakkoniss
Creative!
Constructive!


 O.o

You made a story? Interesting...

WOOOT!!! DISTURBING THEMES!!!!!!!

Я сожалею, я не говорю на русском языке...


XP

I agree with the others. You write as if you do it professionally...

Nanites, eh? Hmm...

The American piques my interest...
DF  Post #: 5
9/25/2011 5:52:07   
Antithesis
Member

Thank you all for commenting ^_^

I suppose I have to accept that, Goldstein, if there is not much to comment on I can see why it would be "ignored"...
Hence the quotations.
I am continuing the story for now, and am still deciding where exactly I want it to go from here...



And Drakkoniss: Yes, I suspect you will be seeing a lot of him in this story...



Cheers,


Anti
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 6
10/1/2011 22:35:43   
Sir Night
Member

Nice opening! As I was reading it I was kinda rooting for the Russian to kick the American guy's butt.
Post #: 7
10/2/2011 8:57:18   
Clown the Jester
Member

I like the way you present the character names.


The American and the Russian...even if they don't give alot of inside info...it gives...such a unique view of them.


Its the archenemy feeling I feel.


America vs Russia...such history...I love it.


PURPLE FLESH! I GOTTA TRY THAT TECNIQUE ON DRAKKONISS! WA HA HA HA HA HA HA!


Excelent Story so far. Love it.
AQW Epic  Post #: 8
10/2/2011 16:31:13   
delta blitz
Member

Such a epic and interesting story,and no grammar mistakes x3 professional indeed.
AQ AQW Epic  Post #: 9
10/2/2011 21:50:02   
Drakkoniss
Creative!
Constructive!


 Eh, I've experienced true pain before. Very annoying when every nerve in your body is firing at once in the highest clarity and quality imaginable... Especially when you blow up afterwords...
DF  Post #: 10
10/3/2011 17:52:19   
Antithesis
Member

Updated with Part 2 of the Prologue!

Check it out!
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 11
10/3/2011 19:18:26   
Drakkoniss
Creative!
Constructive!


 Hmm... Interesting interface...

I wonder what mechanism could produce such an effect...

If he is killed, it is possible to prevent this catastrophe... idiots.

A very interesting vew into that world, that's for sure...
DF  Post #: 12
10/3/2011 21:28:32   
Goldstein
Member

Oh God oh God oh God stuff's about to go down.

Am I the only one who, when they read that the woman's voice was British, thought of this?
Post #: 13
10/4/2011 11:55:44   
Shadowlord9k
Member

Gold: I can't say that I thought of that.

It's strange that he apparently didn't notice his missing hat, I mean it's just the end of the world.
AQ DF AQW Epic  Post #: 14
10/4/2011 21:10:34   
Goldstein
Member

Just...just the voice, that's all.
Post #: 15
11/17/2011 21:16:33   
Celestin123
Member

Wow, this story is good!

How could you say that this story is being ignored? I see at least five other people commenting here, excluding the
commentary I'm about to make.

Anyways, from what I've seen so far, I've already decided that this story has the potential to be amazing.
You have no spelling or grammar mistakes aside from the intentional mistakes made by the Russian. I love it.

I usually don't complain much when a story has spelling and grammar problems but if there's one thing I respect, aside
from kindness of course, it's impressive spelling and grammar skills.

That machine...how peculiar. A mantis emblem, eh? That makes me wonder... why was that machine in the possession
of the Russian? Who could've possibly made such a machine? Hm...

I do like the mysterious, proffesional feel to this story and I think that you should continue it, and make more material to comment
on. More material to comment on = More commentary.

I implore you to give this story another chance. It has lots of potential and already leaves you wanting more.

I'd really like to see what happens next.
AQ  Post #: 16
12/5/2011 17:09:25   
Kinzdor
Member

EPIC! To bad you put it on hold.
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 17
12/7/2011 23:01:50   
Goldstein
Member

Did I catch the name Strebor? Wha, what is that doing here? How mysterious!

Anyway, so, the American and Russian were actually in the past. That's cool! And John is undead now. Neat.
Post #: 18
12/7/2011 23:06:26   
Antithesis
Member

O-o I thought I made it clear they were in the past back in the beginning.
Nevermind I know what you're referring to.
C'est la vie.


Now let's not assume he is undead just yet, I don't plan on including (or ever including) actual zombies or anything in my story.
As I said this one was hastily written, which disappoints me, but I will try to clear up any loose ends in the fourth part of the prologue... as well as some rather-

Never mind, I don't want to ruin anything.
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 19
12/8/2011 1:36:55   
Sir Night
Member

Huh. This Eventide creature is really interesting. Seems like maybe a little bit of a cross between Venom and the Zerg. Can't wait to see what happens next.

< Message edited by Sir Night -- 12/8/2011 1:37:08 >
Post #: 20
12/8/2011 12:18:53   
Jae10
Creative!
Constructive!


 ^
Ikr! That's what I said, lol.

Anyway - it's lunch break & I decided to go ahead and spend the rest of my lunch (10 mins left, actually), commenting; Beginning with this brilliant story!

It's great! Dark, grim, sophisticated & has a very serious theme that makes me picture it in my mind as a DC comic for some reason. All this just basically means that you're doing a fantastic job with this story. The scenes are all very alarming and I can follow them easily. Nice flow, really nice flow of action & dialogue really.

As for my opinions on its content & plot, I must say that I wonder what will become of The American and The Russian (not sure if the latter is truly deceased or not). You have an extraordinary and unique way of writing that I find refreshing.

I was absorbed the entire time reading. Lovely details, momentous plot. You got the works here, lol!

Yeah, you're a total Smash author! Keep it going!^^

*End of lunch*
AQW  Post #: 21
12/17/2011 1:12:47   
Devastate
Member

Some key points I find worth commenting to :
- 3rd person point of view is observed and portrayed very well
- The battle scene is depicted by the almost perfect choice of words combined together which gave me the impression of The Ultimate Fighting Championship(Yes, I am a fan).
- The exit of the unnamed American guy is totally badass, as of course shown at the time he walked out with the fedora hat adjusted in preparation for the rain.

I am intrigued by the chemical composition of the injected "tranquilizer/whatever" into the Russian man.. would it only inflict devastating pain which would sear through his veins? Or should it posses a mind control feature that would be critical for the task that the American guy wants to be carried out? I shall find out...

Moving to the next panel, I'd be giving my comments not long after I finish.. :
Post #: 22
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