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The Godless Age Discussion

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6/28/2014 8:19:14   
#legend179#
Member

Questions, comments, or concerns? Please list them below!
DF  Post #: 1
6/28/2014 17:38:42   
  Master Samak
Productive!
Steward Leprechaun
L&L


 Hello there, #legend179#!

1.
quote:

The world of Aldmoor is in ruins. An empire, leaderless for the first time in centuries. An entire race, eradicated over a lone mans anger.
There ought to be an apostrophe between "man" and "s", showing that the anger belongs to the man.

2.
quote:

But their are magics, dark magics from places beyond the gods' reach, that only grew stronger in their absence.
The bolded word "their" should be its homophone "there". The word "their" is possessive, which doesn't make sense in the beginning part of the sentence.

And, last thing, I have a question about the Trisummit Tribunal. It's designed to keep peace between three different kingdoms, right, but you listed eight kingdoms/empires afterwards. How do they fit with the Tribunal, if at all?

It looks fine, though. So far it is a nice explanation of what the world of the story will be like. Feel free to add more detail that can make it clear to the reader, and I hope to see you posting again soon!
AQ DF  Post #: 2
6/29/2014 13:32:28   
#legend179#
Member

Thanks for pointing those out!
The Trisummit Tribunal is comprised of leaders from the three main world powers (Telmora, Oldiron and Emberoak) who reside in the capital of Aderalith and make choices for it, as well as their kingdoms. Akatar fell into ruins and became an un-ruled wasteland. Draviria and Kythros both cut contact with the other kingdoms, and never leave their homelands.
I hope that helps. :)

< Message edited by #legend179# -- 6/29/2014 13:37:54 >
DF  Post #: 3
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