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April Fool's 2008 - Battleon

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4/1/2008 3:53:26   
  Ianthe
 formerly In Media Res

 
  • Today's Event
    Today's Event!
    Events such as wars and holidays have been cancelled due to their unsafe nature.

  • Travel Map
    Travel by any means whatsoever is too dangerous to be allowed.

  • Ballyhoo!
    Ballyhoo?
    Meet Ballyhoo, our resident special promotions elf!

  • April Fools!
    Leave without rewards, if you're having difficulty!

    Pet Shop
    There are no lights on. Is Aria taking the day off??
    «Click»
    ALL NERFKITTENS HAVE BEEN RELEASED INTO THE WILD. WE HAVE CLOSED THIS ESTABLISHMENT FOR UNLAWFUL IMPRISONMENT.

    Mage Shop
    Warlic's magic lamps are NEVER off. What's going on here?
    «Click»
    LAWS OF MAGIC RESULT IN WEAPONS THAT ARE MORE POWERFUL THAN OTHER WEAPONS. THIS STORE IS CLOSED WHILE WE REWRITE THOSE LAWS.

    Guardian Tower
    Did somebody redecorate the Guardian Tower?

    Twilly
    Oh noes, what could have done this to Twillies??

    «The Pit»
    WE HAVE CORDONED OFF THIS AREA UNTIL QUANTIFIED. TWO CHIPMUNKS ALREADY LOST WHILE SEARCHING FOR END. BEWARE.

    Rip in the Sky
    What power could have sealed this dimensional rift?
    «Click»
    THIS GATEWAY HAS BEEN CLOSED UNTIL VINCE HAS COMPLETED HIS REPAIRS.

  • Battle Monsters
    Monster Fight!
    Battling monsters is an inherently risky activity that cannot be tolerated.

  • Character Page
    Character Web Page
    Open a web page to show your character profile.

  • House
    Player Houses
    All houses have been condemned due to the presence of monsters nearby.

  • Ballyhoo and More
    Ballyhoo
    Meet Ballyhoo the Elf and learn about upgrades and special offers.
      Upgrades and Special Offers

      Guardian
      Become an AdventureQuest Guardian to login anytime, and get full access to all towns, quests, and special Guardian-Only items and events.
    • Upgrade

      Ballyhoo
      Visit Ballyhoo to view advertisements from our sponsers. You may visit Ballyhoo a few times each day to earn gold or access other special rewards or shops.
    • Ballyhoo

      Z-Tokens
      Talk to Valencia to learn about Z-Tokens.
    • Z-Tokens
      ......«Go to Valencia»
  • Log Out
    Logout
    Log out of the game to switch characters.

    The Inn
    The Inn looks much more subdued than usual...

    Valencia
    Click on the Rare Item Hunter to learn about Z-Tokens!
      Valencia: That thing gives me the creeps. It said I can sell you this equipment, but shut down everyone else. It said it would "deal with us in due time..." I don't get it. But maybe they'll be useful to you.
    • Enter the Z-Token Shop!
    • House & House Item Shop
      ......«See Below»
    • What are Z-Tokens?
    • Visit Grumbugly ( Visit Valencia privately)
      ......GRUMBUGLY, VALENCIA'S PET SALAMANDER, IS A FIRE HAZARD. ACCESS DENIED.
    • Ask about the Crystal Cave (DragonFable crossover)
      ......CROSSOVERS PROHIBITED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE DUE TO CARELESS MANIPULATION OF THE TIMELINE.
      Enter the Z-Token Shop!

      SHOP: Z-Token Shop

      Valencia: Z-Token items are among the most powerful weapons, shields, armors, spells and pets you can obtain in this world. New Z-Token items appear every month!
    • More about Z-Tokens
      What are Z-Tokens?/More about Z-Tokens...

      Valencia: Z-Tokens are a rare currency, worth more than gold! You can sometimes find a few when you battle monsters, or you can buy them if you own a Guardian account.
    • Buy Z-Tokens!
    • What can I get with Z-Tokens?
    • What is a Guardian?
      Buy Z-Tokens!

      Valencia: Right now only Guardian accounts can buy extra Z-Tokens, or rent the ultra-rare Fire or Dark Blades of Awe. Everyone can earn some Z-Tokens by battling monsters, but they are more rare than gold. Upgrade to Guardian status first, then you can buy large amounts of Z-Tokens!
    • What is a Guardian?
      What is a Guardian?

      Valencia: Guardians are the elite protectors of Lore! As a Guardian, you are equipped with powerful Guardian Plate and the Guardian Blade, and have access to dozens of special items. You also unlock access to every quest and area in the world!
    • Become a Guardian!
    The Inn

    Main Room
      Twig: He said I was too cwazy and he newfed me. And THEN he said fish and ice cweam wewe not pawt of a bawanced diet and I wasn't awwawed to have any mowe! Hmmph!
      «Twig Teleports away, and leaves behind the Comfy Pillow»

      Robina Hood: I can't BELIEVE this! He told me to stop distributing so much gold to the monsters! This is ridiculous! What am I going to DO with this gold?
      Robina Hood: Look, I can't sell you anything right now. I don't have and room for any more money. Besides, he took all of my items. He even replaced all of the arrows in my quiver with new soft-tipped ones!

      The Devourer Saga
      THE DEVOURER HAS BEEN PUT ON HOLD WHILE WE SEARCH FOR WAYS TO SPEED UP THE DEVOURER SAGA.

      Clickies!
    • PARDON OUR DUST. ~THE MANAGEMENT~
    • Hans once caught his hair on fire from this lamp.
    • Yulgar's coin bag is so heavy it cannot be moved.
    • This scroll is covered on both sides by balance calculations!
    • This axe's blade is now dull. No more price-slashing...
    • Authentic foam-covered medieval swords! (For children ages 1 and up)
    • Looks like someone bought some Frogzard riding armor recently.
    Upstairs
      Blackhawke: I'd move on, friend. I'm spitting mad right now and struggling to keep my cool. He turned my sword into foam. My SWORD. FOAM. How am I supposed to train new fighters or help defend Battleon? GAH!

      Attic
      Odd, the trap door is locked. There's a sign here, too. OCCUPANT WAS FOUND TO BE FALSELY CLAIMING RELIGIOUS OFFICE AND HAS BEEN REMOVED FOR BALANCING.

      «Bathroom»
      A sign on the door says UNNECESSARY WATER USAGE IS UNBALANCING THE ENVIRONMENT. PLEASE REFRAIN FROM USE UNTIL WE CAN ANALYZE THE WATER TABLES AND CALCULATE AN OPTIMAL FLOW. (YOU MAY VISIT THE AM-BUSH FOR EMERGENCIES ONLY.

      Clickies!
    • This bush has been pruned because it was getting too tall for dwarves to consider it a bush.
    • This room contains the answers to the Universe. The door is locked, bolted, and duct taped shut.
    Lounge
      Sage Uldor: I can see! He said that my blindness was a nerf and removed it! Everything was SO bright though...I couldn't see anything right away, so I'm going to leave my blindfold on for a while and let my eyes adjust. Oh happy day!

      Aquella: How can an entire RACE OF PEOPLE be unbalanced?! I mean, sure, we get a long lifespan, inherent magical powers, a deep connection with the natural world, and these awesome ears...
      Aquella: ...but preparing a demiplane to exile us on and locking it? Where's the originality?
    Backroom
      «Note»
      quote:

      Greetings Adventurers!

      I require the aid of a few
      powerful explorers to obtain
      a number of objects. If you
      are interested, please travel
      South from BattleOn, and
      take a boat from the far
      edges of the Grogh Swamp-
      lands to the southern tip
      of DragonClaw Island.
      ~Beleqwaya M
    • Back

      Potion?
      You take a look at the small bottle on the table. It is corked and sealed. The label on it once read "DRINK ME," but that is scratched out. It now reads WARNING: THIS BOTTLE CONTAINS AN UNSTABLE AND UNSAFE LIQUID.

      Clickies!
    • You notice a small mouse hole in the wall.
    Guardian Tower

    Inside
      Book
      Adventurers: Become a Guardian to access this book.
      Guardians:
      DEAR GUARDIAN,

      THANK YOU ONCE AGAIN FOR SUPPORTING THIS GAME. YOU MOTIVATE OUR TEAM AND ALLOW US TO CONTINUE BUILDING, MAKING THIS GAME SOMETHING REALLY BALANCED FOR EVERYONE. WE THANK YOU AGAIN.

      --THE NERFLORD
    • Upgrade
    • Close

      Refill Box
      Adventurers: Become a Guardian to open the potion refill box.
      Guardians: WE HAVE DETERMINED THAT POTIONS ARE TOO READILY AVAILABLE AND HEAL TOO MUCH DAMAGE WHEN USED
    • Upgrade
    • Close
    Armory
      Nerf Bat!!
      THE WILD BAT THAT WAS HIDING HERE HAS BEEN REPLACED. IT MAY HAVE CARRIED THE DREADED DISEASE "MABIES".
    • Yes! Take the cool pet.
        Guardian Only
        Nerf Bat
        Nerf Bats Are Well Balanced Guests.
      • Upgrade
      • Close
    • Not today

      Clickies!
    • All of these chests are locked, and the armor is bolted to the stands!
    Stables« Disappears if you win» Teleporter

    Treasury
      Clickies!
    • THIS HELMET HAS BEEN TEMPORARILY REMOVED FOR BUFFING.
    • THE CHANCE FOR A FULL HEAL IS AN OVERPOWERED REWARD FOR THE EASE OF THE QUEST.
    War Room
    A grim sense of foreboding (and a sturdy lock) prevents you from opening this door.

    Thanks in part to whackybeanz.

    < Message edited by Carandor -- 2/25/2018 15:13:03 >
    • AQ  Post #: 1
    4/1/2008 5:28:19   
      Ianthe
     formerly In Media Res

     

    The Actual Quest Part


    «For the duration of the quest, all combat options other than Attack and Flee are disabled»

    Yulgar's Inn - Back Room

    Galanoth: I'm so glad you're here, friend! The Knights fo Order have created an Order Golem that's running amok! It calls itself Lord KalareyfagastwindiiStaerirghthai-- the Nerflord of Order!
    Galanoth: They've imbued it with a small bit of their own personality, hoping for a little help in their work. It decreed that EVERYTHING is unbalanced, and now it's taken over the town!
    «You»: So where are they? Why won't they stop it?
    Galanoth: Are you kidding? They LOVE it. They're on a beach somewhere sipping umbrella drinks. The golem is so efficient they can afford to take a vacation!
    Galanoth: It's up to you to stop it. It sees the world only in black and white, and will stop at nothing until reality matches its vision.
    Galanoth: It's holed up in the Guardian Tower while it watches over the city, plotting its next expansion of control or doing complex mathematical calculations.
    Galanoth: The main door to the Tower is guarded, but open. The door to the Arena, though, is locked. Valencia may be able to help you get through...
    «You»: I'll get to the bottom of this!
  • Go!
    «You lose the ability to access the back room*, but Valencia gains the following button»
    *Galanoth reminds you that you should be talking to Valencia.

  • Can you help me get into the Guardian Arena?
    Valencia gave you an enchanted lockpick!
    Valencia: *whispers* Here's an enchanted lockpick. If you can get through those guards, you may be able to get into the Guardian Tower. Help us, «You»! You're our only hope!
  • Okay
    Guardian Tower
    Nerf Wraith: HALT! You are wearing imbalanced equipment. Equip these replacements until all of the other weapons and armors are balanced!
    «You gain the Nerfage Plate and Nerfage Shield. If you are not wielding the Comfy Pillow, your weapon becomes the Nerfage Sword/ Nerfage Gun/ Nerfage Staff if your current No-Drop is Melee/Ranged/Magic (respectively). You lose all guests and unequip your pet»
    You are being balanced, please wait
    Nerf Wraith: State your business. Do you wish to enter the Tower of Order?
  • YES
  • NO
      Nerf Wraith: Be off with you then!
    Nerf Wraith: You shall not pass!!!!
  • Fight!
    Guardian Arena
    Nerf Lord «1»: SO WE WILL TABLE THE SHOWER FOR NOW UNTIL FURTHER RAINFALL DATA IS GATHERED.
    Nerf Lord «2»: AGREED. NEXT ON OUR AGENDA: THE VAMPIRE SLAYER CLASS.
    Nerf Lord «3»: INDEED. HAS EDWARD'S "LIFT CURSE" TRAINING EVER ACTUALLY LIFTED A CURSE?
    Nerf Lord «4»: NO. WE SHALL HAVE TO START NEARLY FROM SCRATCH. AND THEN THE MONSTERS IN DARKOVIA...
    Nerf Lord «1»: YES, WE SHALL MOST CERTAINLY HAVE TO ENSURE THE PROPER DISTRIBU--
    Nerf Lord «2»: WE TOLD THE GUARDS THAT WE WERE NOT TO BE DISTURBED IN THE MIDST OF AN INTERNAL DIALOGUE!
    Nerf Lord «4»: THAT IS WHY WE SENT THEM DOWNSTAIRS.
    Nerf Lord «1»: YES, THE SEED-NIBBLING WAS MADDENING.
    Nerf Lord «3»: THEY HAVE MUCH TO LEARN BEFORE THEY MAY JOIN WITH US MORE COMPLETELY.
    Nerf Lord «2»: IT SEEMS THEY HAVE FAILED IN THEIR CHARGE.
    Nerf Lord «4»: YES. THIS ONE CAN STILL WIELD UNBALANCED EQUIPMENT.
    Nerf Lord «1»: THE WE MUST NERF THEM OURSELF.
    «You»: ...........
  • Fight!Nerf Lord «1»: ... YOU HAVE WEAKENED US?!
    Nerf Lord «3»: VERY WELL. YOUR WEAPONS WILL BE NO MATCH FOR OUR FOAM-FU!
  • Bring it!«The arena returns to colour»

    Nerf Lord «1»: WHAT? THIS CANNOT BE!
    Nerf Lord «2»: HOW WAS THE WEAPON OF...*crackle*...BALANCE ABLE TO HARM OUR BODY?
    «You»: You can't just start declaring everything "unbalanced!" Balance includes both order and chaos. I guess you pulled YOURSELF off balance!
    Nerf Lord «4»: BUT OUR WORK...*bzzt*
    Nerf Lord «2»: ...WILL CONTINUE. YOU HAVE WON TH-THIS ROUND BUT...*hkss*
    Nerf Lord «3»: ...THE FORCE OF BALANCE WILL NOT BE STOPPED. THE KNIGHTS OF ORDER WILL NOT BE STOPPED. IT IS...INEVITABLE.

    «Fade to white. Scene: Outside the Guardian Tower. The Eye of Order falls from the Guardian Tower. Enter Yulgar.»

    Yulgar: Hmm. I like the design. Might make a good shield...

    «Enter Uldor»

    Uldor: Hello? Is it night already? Yulgar, could you light some torches here? I need to see if my eyes are still...
    Yulgar: I hate to break it to you, friend, but it looks like everything the Nerflord did was undone.
    Uldor: ...*sigh.* Well, my second sight was always sharper anyway. And much more versatile... *whistles*
    Yulgar: I don't want to ask you to clarify that, do I? Just...help me get this foam sign back to my shop so I can make stuff with it.


    Nerflord


    Weapons
  • Contender's Pugil Stick [L. 12]
  • Tee Boffer [L. 15]
  • Nerf Blaster [L. 20]
  • Duelist's Pugil Stick [L. 30]
  • Soft Boffer [L. 35]
  • Champion's Pugil Stick Z [L. 40]
  • Nerf Ruiner [L. 40]
  • Gladiator's Pugil Stick [L. 52]
  • Wooden Boffer [L. 55]
  • Nerf Dismantler [L. 60]
  • Corked Boffer Z [L. 65]
  • Nerf DiZpatcher [L. 70]
  • Steel-Core Boffer [L. 75]
  • Myrmidon's Pugil Stick [L. 76]
  • Nerf Ravager [L. 80]

    Shields
  • NerfLord's Standard [L. 18]
  • NerfLord's Crest [L. 48]

    Pets
  • Axiomatic Chipmunk [L. 10, 30, 50, 70, 90, 110, 130]
  • Nerfbat Pup [L. 10]
  • Micro Nerfbat [L. 20]
  • Flappy Nerfbat [L. 40]
  • Hyper Nerfbat [L. 60]
  • Squirrel of Order [L. 67 G, 150 G]
  • Mega Nerfbat [L. 75]
  • Vampire Nerfbat [L. 90]
  • Ironfoam Nerfbat [L. 110]
  • The Dark Nerfbat [L. 130]
  • Nerfbatlord [L. 150 G]

    Uldor: My my! I cannot even SEE any of that stuff and yet I know it's cool!
  • Yeah!

    Some links from Stephen Nix. Thanks in part to whackybeanz. Monster list from Reyn Roadstorm. Correction from BigX.

    < Message edited by Carandor -- 4/5/2016 17:43:10 >
    • AQ  Post #: 2
    Page:   [1]
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