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RE: This.Dysfunctional.Commodity.~Comments Thread

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12/1/2008 22:14:15   
demolitiondragon
Constructively Friendly!


 This for Theatrics < Let's keep them to a minimum here, eh? ;P
quote:

In the palms of her hands,

Theoretically.
quote:

The payback will be elastic.

*has mental image of rubber band snapping* Ouch!
quote:

Desperation at its best,

No apostrophe.

Style as deft as ever.
Post #: 51
12/19/2008 2:40:11   
Clyde
Legendary Artist!


 Thanks AGAIN DD and sure. :o

Anyways yay random inspiration: Aware of the Illness
Post #: 52
12/19/2008 20:47:29   
demolitiondragon
Constructively Friendly!


 (I was joking about the theatrics, Clyde. ;])

Aware of the Illness
quote:

the pain is too far deep.

Just checking if those are in the right order?

I didn't really "get" this one. =/ But that's probably just me, not a reflection on you.
Post #: 53
12/20/2008 21:39:02   
dragonmechdude2.0
Member

wow, Aware of the Illness is good enough to be a song....
infact.......
AQ DF MQ AQW  Post #: 54
12/26/2008 3:01:24   
Clyde
Legendary Artist!


 @DD: Awww that's a shame. I'll have to work on that then. D:
@Dragonmechdude: Glad you found your way through my post history. :P Kidding thank you. XD

Anyways, Belated Christmas Update: Sav-ior Self

Enjoy.
Post #: 55
12/27/2008 21:57:47   
Clyde
Legendary Artist!
quote:

This will be the recordings of the Truth Seeker Clyde and his life in the Abode of Falerin.


This is what I'll be working on in my Free time. So watch out for it in '09. :P
Post #: 56
12/28/2008 3:27:47   
time losh
Member

woah woah woah woah woah woah woah woah woah...

...woah

When did you change your name to just Clyde?

I've missed so much *sobs*
AQ  Post #: 57
1/31/2009 23:48:33   
Clyde
Legendary Artist!


 RAWR, you can't say that I didn't do anything. :p

Storm Clouds. I hope you enjoy. :)
Post #: 58
2/26/2009 0:16:19   
demolitiondragon
Constructively Friendly!


 You didn't do anything. =P *runs and hides from the RAWR-ing Clyde!*

Storm Clouds is nice. =]
Post #: 59
9/10/2009 1:37:16   
Clyde
Legendary Artist!


 @Demolitiondragon: Cowaaaaaaaaaaaaaaard! Thank you :) /months late

*blows dust off of his threads* Back with RAWR!

I present you all with: What about it? My punk experiment, I guess. XD

< Message edited by Clyde -- 9/10/2009 15:54:12 >
Post #: 60
9/10/2009 15:40:37   
Fleur Du Mal
Member

Hay, Clyde!

Your link above points to a interesting thing, but it ain't your poetry... =P

Shouldn't the right address be this: http://forums2.battleon.com/f/fb.asp?m=16630073

As you see, I found your poem despite your attempt to confuzzle.

What about it? indeed has the feel of a rock lyric stamped all over it. Fun to read, as I instantly got a beat playing in my head while I read it. Of course, it's probably totally different to what you are hearing, but anyways...

I especially liked this line(s):
quote:

It's your emotions -
which I drive.

Tongue-in-the-cheek-rock-arrogance. Suits the whole idea of the song, imo.

One thing that I'd like to point out.
quote:


I'll pout, scream, and shout this.

I'm not quite grasping what you need the word 'this' for. Any reasonings behind that? It just sounds pretty odd and unexpressive choice for the last word in a song, in my opinion. It makes be wait as if there were some further clarification what the singer is going to scream. Possibly just my preference, but I'd take it out, because I see no reason to point out/refer at this point what is being 'shouted.

Other than that, it's a fun song!
DF  Post #: 61
9/13/2009 0:46:45   
Clyde
Legendary Artist!


 @fabula: Thank you! Thank you! Thank you. You don't know how awesome it is to knows what in the world you're trying to say. Maybe I make it hard trying to base it off of a beat within my head. For that I'm sorry. Anyways I took out that last line, it was a rogue line that slipped in there. <.< >.>

New poem to which I say "Yes Lady Gaga, it is a Love Game...that I always win" *coughs*

Someone Gets Hurt
Post #: 62
5/18/2010 21:05:36   
Shreder
Member

Just one small error in your newest poem:

quote:

but don't fall to far behind.


Shouldn't that be "too"? :P

Other then that it's good, I enjoyed it.

DF MQ  Post #: 63
6/17/2010 16:46:06   
Clyde
Legendary Artist!


 thanks Shreder!

/one month late reply XD
Post #: 64
6/17/2010 17:09:06   
Mistermafio
Member

Wow, this thread has far too few replies. You're poetry is still as great as ever.

I read the last poem you posted, I liked it, though it was honestly not your best. It had one huge redeaming factor though; this brilliant stanza:

quote:

The way is lost,
no rights are left.
If what's left is right,
this all means nothing.


I really liked that. So keep up the work, and start writing more :P

Now... To wait a month for you to reply :P
AQ  Post #: 65
6/17/2010 17:44:33   
Clyde
Legendary Artist!


 *steps out of the time machine* I'm from one month in the future!

I've come back to thank you mistermafio. I will try writing more. I graduate Monday and until I get a job or college starts I'll be active. :D

I'm glad you like that verse, it was a fun one. :P
Post #: 66
7/17/2010 21:36:20   
Clyde
Legendary Artist!


 Uncertain, We Go - Older
As We Do Our Dance
The Greatest Glitch
Gravity and the Ground - Newest

Enjoy?
Post #: 67
12/1/2010 0:56:16   
Clyde
Legendary Artist!


 Swallow Your Pride

Sounds like a poem about drugs, but it's not. It's about addiction though. :P

It's meant to be read fast and rushed excluding the italicized part so yeah...

Off to bed now.
Post #: 68
11/4/2011 23:47:05   
Clyde
Legendary Artist!


 One year anniversary post!(Close enough) *blows the dust off*

Anyways...

Oldies
That Perspective
Shades of Blue

Newbies
Little monsters
Forgive and Regret
Xenophia (A Nonet) and Relentless Greed

I think I ruined Relentless Greed with that last stanza
Post #: 69
11/4/2011 23:48:16   
.Discipline
Member

I loved your newest poems. It's been while since I've read any of your work and I can definitely say you're still epic.

The way you pour emotion and confusion into Xenophobia is very admirable, the Nonnet style was definitely the right one to choose, it gives it a hurried, panicked pace which highlights the madness of the subject.

Relentless Greed hits home with me because of how the parallels play off against one another. I have seen those parallels too many times in life.

quote:

What you want,
is not what you need.
It won't last you forever.


That rings true to some and not to others. I suppose there's your lesson and your experiment.

quote:

What I want - I need
and I want it all.


Amazing continuation there, really shows the pure greed.

I love your work, keep it up, you have my seal of approval!

< Message edited by .Discipline -- 11/4/2011 23:49:35 >

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