Home  | Login  | Register  | Help  | Play 

Comments: The Quiet in my Mind Speaks Verses to my Heart.

  		Logged in as: Guest
  Printable Version
All Forums >> [Gaming Community] >> [Legends and Lore] >> Writers of Lore >> Works Discussion >> Other Creative Works Discussion >> Comments: The Quiet in my Mind Speaks Verses to my Heart.
Forum Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
7/13/2008 20:58:31   
nolraitru
Member

http://forums2.battleon.com/f/tm.asp?m=14248693

Six months of writer's block, and I'm free. :]
Post #: 1
7/14/2008 8:55:11   
gwoonjustin
April 2008 Writer of the Month


 I like it.
One thing I must object to though;

quote:

I wish I could show you,
I wish you could know.
If only the words came out,
like these words I type.

If 'I' would just show this poem to 'you' then 'I' could show 'you'...

Other 'bad stuff' I could say is it lacks imagery and may be a bit too general at times. It worked out okay here though. Just watch out in the future.

Good job!
AQ  Post #: 2
7/14/2008 10:40:55   
Eukara Vox
Legendary AdventureGuide!


 Emotional.

I find the simplicity of the expression here very nice, actually. Almost as if this was written in a very raw state of being.

quote:

If only they could spill,
from my very battered heart.
If only they could,
if only they would.
I like this stanza the most.

AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 3
7/15/2008 17:11:11   
nolraitru
Member

Gwoon: This is written to somebody. Thanks, though.

'Kara: Actually, I was near tears the whole time writting this ^^;
Thaks for the comments, it's nice to know that it's being read.
Post #: 4
7/15/2008 18:11:49   
Eukara Vox
Legendary AdventureGuide!


 You can tell that this poem was extremely heartfelt. I find, sometimes, that the most heartfelt poetry is the simplest. You don't need a ton of words to convey love, sorrow, trepidation, yearning, etc. Sometimes the simplest is the best.

I hope to see more of this. So stay out of the writer's block!
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 5
8/6/2008 15:56:58   
Lux
Member
 

 That's...beautiful, iChar. Great poem, 9 out of 10 or something like that :).
AQ DF MQ AQW  Post #: 6
Page:   [1]
All Forums >> [Gaming Community] >> [Legends and Lore] >> Writers of Lore >> Works Discussion >> Other Creative Works Discussion >> Comments: The Quiet in my Mind Speaks Verses to my Heart.
Jump to:






Icon Legend
New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Forum Content Copyright © 2018 Artix Entertainment, LLC.

"AdventureQuest", "DragonFable", "MechQuest", "EpicDuel", "BattleOn.com", "AdventureQuest Worlds", "Artix Entertainment"
and all game character names are either trademarks or registered trademarks of Artix Entertainment, LLC. All rights are reserved.
PRIVACY POLICY


Forum Software © ASPPlayground.NET Advanced Edition