Anoril
Member
|
Anoril should never be allowed on stage
Anoril is in his dressing room reading over the song that he has to sing in front of millions if not billions of people. His breathing is long and nervous sounding.
Anoril (muttering to self): You’re doing this for charity. Remember get that Golden Statue!
A technical support enters the room.
Leon: You’re on in a few minutes Mr. Anoril. I heard you had a query?
Anoril: Yes I had a few ideas on how to improve this script.
Leon: You don’t think it a bit late?
Anoril: No no. It’s just that a lot of what is here doesn’t make sense. I don’t understand it!
Leon: Shall I call the producer?
Anoril: Yes do!
A few minutes later Anoril is standing backstage talking with the producer.
Anoril: Okay this first line. One, I’m not American and even if I was why am I talking to a Pie?
GiGi: I…
Anoril: Maybe we should consider editing that bit out.
GiGi: That might work…
Anoril: And this next bit what on earth is a shevy anyway? And why am I driving it?
GiGi: It’s a car.
Anoril: Ah but I ride a gorrillaphant. Don’t worry we can change that.
GiGi: I don’t think…
Anoril: And what’s with the ‘levy’? What’s that?
GiGi: Not sure, I think it’s short for lavatory.
Anoril: …okay. And I have to say that as a writer I absolutely detest the sentence structure of this ‘song’. I mean one minute I’m driving to a toilet and then I’m talking about these guys drinking Whisky and Wine. That’s a strange combination.
GiGi: It’s ‘Rye’ not wine.
Anoril: What the hell is ‘Rye’. Do these old boys have some sort of retardation?
GiGi: No…it’s…
Anoril: And this next part about how they predict their deaths? They are either physic or emo.
GiGi: Anoril if you could just…
Anoril: I don’t think I should say the word ‘die’ this is a PG 13 forum after all. So we could say ‘fly’ instead. So instead of these creepy retarded emos talking about killing themselves I could say that they are birdmen learning to fly huh?
GiGi: Anoril! There are over a million people out there! Just sing the song as written. Please!
Announcer’s Voice: Anoril to stage. Repeat Anoril to stage.
Anoril: Don’t worry GiGi, I’ll wing it!
Anoril walks out onto stage and faces half the world.
Anoril:
Bye, bye *hums*
Rode mi gorrillaphant tae the toilet but the toilet was dry.
Dem retarded emos were drinking ‘Whisky and Wine’?
Singin’ ‘this will be the day that I fly!
This’ll be the day that I fly!’
GiGi’s voice in Anoril’s Headset: SING AS WRITTEN!
Anoril:
Bye, bye Miss American Pie!
Drove my shevy to the levy but the levy was dry?
Dem good ol’ boys were drinking whisky and rye?
Singin’ this’ll be the day that I die!
This’ll be the day that I die!
Please note that this is not at all funny. Infact Anoril’s first gig infront of a live audience (of millions) was decided to be the worst moment for music since the High Committee of Guitars (The Kings personal Musicians) said, “A gorrillaphant sing the national anthem for the King? What could go wrong?”
|
Printable Version
Icon Legend
New Messages
No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages
Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages
Locked w/o New Messages
Post New Thread
