Maegwyn
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Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to make a sincere apology. It seems that last issue, I went a tad bit insane, and one of my alternate personalities came through, writing a scathing letter to the editors about me. This letter was written by none other than Nuclear Dragon, my Latin-speaking, logic-spewing alter ego. As you know, my dear readers, I am quite a fan of our Draconic friends. Most Dragons are intelligent beings, and many are quite charismatic. So, it is with a heavy heart that I report that... Um, some Dragons are evil!
I recognize that the above statement may cause some of you to grab torches and pitchforks, but please hear me out. While most Dragons are very lovable, some of them are not as much. Can you really imagine, for instance, Akriloth giving you a box of chocolates and a good-night kiss? I certainly can't, as that kiss would probably be more of a bite. Furthermore, a Dragon like Akriloth would probably eat the chocolate before it ever reached you; he is notorious for his love of all things chocolate. Erm, anyway, back to my article. If all Dragons are lovable, then why do so many end up fighting you? Territorialism? Pride? Hunger? Because some of them are actually part of a massive conspiracy to eradicate all other life from the face of Lore? I for one am going with that last option.
In my critically acclaimed (by myself) article on Dragon anatomy, I noted that certain Dragons have rather greedy tendencies, such as the Water Dragons' odd desire to buy up all of the property on the coast. This may seem to some as nothing more than smart shopping- buy low, sell high, get a huge hoard of treasure. However, if you look deeper into this phenomenon, you'll find that they were setting up a housing "bubble" by snatching up those properties quickly, then they burst it by renting them out to starting Adventurers who didn't have the Gold, Credits, Z-Tokens, DragonCoins or Nova Gems to sustain their payments. Once they stopped payment, the Dragons called the Reaper of Foreclosure (he exists, I assure you) on the poor Adventurers, and thereby repossessing their homes. After a bit, this having burst the "bubble" which they had set up, house prices were sent plummeting. (Note: If you don't notice any decline in the value of your house, even if it's near Lolosia, then you don't have one in the area of the Dragons. Rejoice with shouts of "Huzzah!") This, in turn, caused the economy in many parts of Lore to sag.
Again, please don't assume that I make this generalization about all Dragons. I do realize that many are upstanding, contributing members of society who save orphans from burning buildings and adopt puppies. I merely make this biased generalization about ones that in any way offend me, such as that terrible Nuclear Dragon.
Ah, that reminds me of a point which I intended to make earlier. You may wonder why, if he is my alter ego, I hold such a grudge against Nuclear Dragon, or Nuke, as he is often styled. Did you see the lies that he spread about me? The fool accused me of despising hot dogs! I love hot dogs, even if I don't know what the Chateaubriand of consumables means. My articles on Dragon anatomy he called incorrect. He even went so far as to say that I am clinically insane. ...Okay, but still, that's two out of three incorrect. Obviously, he must be stopped. Though, getting rid of just him won't solve much. What we need to do is eradicate this Dragon Mafia to which he obviously belongs.
"Dragon Mafia?" you might scoff. "Come now, that's just ridiculous. There can't be any such thing!" Oh, but there is! Evidence to support this theorem can be found far back in time. Many times in the past, certain nasty Dragons have banded together by the thousands to mount an attack on various communities, from Battleon to Granemor to Willowshire. When even the DragonLords and Dracomancers are fighting them, doesn't that show evidence that they are working for a larger, outside group? Enter the Dragon Mafia (on the other hand, no, please don't!). I think that it is highly possible that Gorgok and the Dravir may have started this gang, seeing as how they were one of the first organized assaults on any community- you can still fight them off at Willowshire in DragonFable today!
However, that Akriloth keeps coming back to mind. This remains perhaps the most notorious of the Dragon assaults, with the mighty Fire Dragon Akriloth, considered by many to be the patriarch of much of the Fire Dragon species today, leading the attack. This confrontation showed off the awesome (as in awe-inspiring, mind you) power of the Dragons, particularly when they work in concert. The mage Cysero, the warrior Zhoom, and the paladin Artix already demonstrated that travel between realities of Lore is possible, namely by cramming into a phone booth. Therefore, I feel that it is a strong possibility that the Dragons have also mastered this art (with really big phone booths), using it to organize the attacks.
Oh, my! Ladies, gentlemen, everything else, I have just received, and hold in my hand the document that might blow the cover off of this entire operation. It details the exact way that the Dragons have been organizing these attacks, along with the location of every high-ranking member of the Dragon Ma-
Please disregard the silly statements that Mr. Face has been making, particularly that last paragraph there. He meant it only in jest, and there is no substance to his words. In fact, if you're going to listen to one of these human meatbags, you might want to listen to Master Genoclysm. Unlike some other blokes I could mention- not pointing any talons or naming any names (coughCow Facecough)- that chap has a brain in his head. There is no relation between Akriloth and Gorgok, nor do Dragons know how to travel between worlds. I thank you for the consideration you have shown in taking the time to read this paragraph, and wish you and the rest of the humans of Lore and Terra well. This is Nuclear Dragon, saying goodbye and good luck!
P.S. If there were a Dragon Mafia, and if you were interested in joining, then you could head over to your nearest Dragon habitat, wearing a trench coat, green shoes, and a clown nose. The password, if there were such a thing, would be "Adventurersaretasty."
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