Eukara Vox
Legendary AdventureGuide!
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The Legend of the Cursed Viewer Meh heh heh... the Cursed Viewer... boy, does that bring back some memories. If you will, permit me to wax nostalgic for a few minutes over one of my early attempts at mind control... And if you won't permit me: Well, it's not like you have a choice. I'm in control here at the Zorbakian, and as such you will read every word I type. And enjoy it, if you know what's good for you! Now where was I? Ah yes... the Cursed Viewer. Back in the early days of my career, before my formidable necromantic powers fully manifested themselves, I was looking for a quick and easy way to build a base of loyal supporters... and keep in mind, when I say "loyal" I REALLY mean "willing to serve my every whim and largely incapable of independant thought." These days, I'd just whip up another batch of mindless Undead, but back then my power was limited and resources were a little hard to come by. That was when I stumbled across the records of a failed Drakel experiment with much potential for ebil. It seems that Drakel scientists had developed a device capable of pulling in signals from the atmosphere and, through a process that mystifies even MY superior intellect, projecting them as images on a screen. Their intent has been to create the next generation of communication systems by developing a device capable of transmitting information almost instantly across vast distances. However, this invention had an unexpected (and to me, fascinating) side effect: it actually lowered the brain functions of those who viewed it, and left them in a semi-comatose state where they had almost no independant motivation and were highly susceptible to suggestion. The Drakel were horrified by the unexpected potential of their device. I imagine they envisioned entire cities of Drakel staring mesmerized at the flickering screens while productivity slowed to a crawl. They immediately banned all further research into this field, and ordered all the prototypes destroyed. Unfortunately for them, one of their prototypes "accidentally" ended up in my hands, thanks to a low-level lab technician and an unpaid gambling debt (Drakel, while intelligent, are lousy Poker players.). I was therefore able to conduct my own experiments on the usefullness of this machine. I decided that the best way to test the device would be to find myself an unsuspecting victim, and force him into prolonged exposure to its effects. Luckily for me, Twig had just returned from one of his many research trips... it was a simple matter to sneak up behind him and whap him over the head with my ebil staff. When he regained conciousness, he found himself tied to a chair with his eyelids taped open, and was forced to spend the next 24 hours staring directly at my new toy as it did its ebil work. It turns out the Drakel were correct in their fears... for the Twig that emerged from my dungeons the next day was nothing like his prior self. He had been reduced to a blithering idiot with no attention span who bounced around the room babbling inanely about fish and ice cream. In short, he had become the moron we all know today. And while it would be child's play to conquer and rule a world full of people in a similar condition... who would want to? Certainly not me. One Twig is bad enough! In order to make sure the device could never fall in to the wrong hands (What? Ok, fine... to ensure that it could never fall into WRONGER hands then mine...) I used my powers to open up a portal and send it off to another dimension. Last I heard, it had been discovered by a group of human scientists, who unwittingly decided to pick up where the Drakel left off and produce a fully-working version. I believe they called it "Television."
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