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Vesis Fanfiction Comments and Criticism

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1/5/2011 2:39:09   
G.I.G.A.
Member

Discuss all of my Vesis fanfictions here.

You can view them here:
Downward Spiral
Elemental Entropy

I would appreciate any and all feedback.

< Message edited by G.I.G.A. -- 2/11/2011 21:38:39 >
DF MQ AQW  Post #: 1
1/6/2011 20:04:36   
G.I.G.A.
Member

I broke up some of the paragraphs and double spaced the dialog in order to make it seem less intimidating.

I'm working on days 3 and 4 right now, which happen to be incredibly short compared to the first two. After that, day 5 will be the conclusion of part 1, so it will be quite long and might take a while to type up. However, I might finish all three days before I go to sleep tonight, since day 5 should be interesting to write.
DF MQ AQW  Post #: 2
1/6/2011 20:17:45   
Mritha
Legendary AdventureGuide!


 I didn't see any spelling and/or grammer mistakes so your good in that department. Writing style is impressive so far, as well as unique buy leaving the main character without a name. Thats something I tried and failed to do in Part 1 of my own fanfic I have a good feeling that the Kathool is involved somehow but I've been thrown curveballs before :) Good job so far G.I.G.A. I'm looking foward to reading more of your work :)

< Message edited by Mritha -- 1/6/2011 20:18:00 >
DF MQ AQW  Post #: 3
1/6/2011 20:53:53   
G.I.G.A.
Member

Thanks for the feedback!

Also, day 3 is up, day 4 shouldn't be more than 30 minutes behind it.

Edit: Wow, day 4 is even shorter than i was expecting O.o

Edit: Phew, day 5 is up and part 1 is finally out of the way. Now for the fun part...

Edit again: Aaand, it's finished! I kind of rushed this last part, but I'll probably go back and edit several parts of the story anyways, so meh.

< Message edited by G.I.G.A. -- 1/25/2011 19:11:09 >
DF MQ AQW  Post #: 4
2/11/2011 21:41:10   
G.I.G.A.
Member

I've created a new fanfiction, titled Elemental Entropy, that features the adept from Downward Spiral. This one should be MUCH longer than Downward Spiral. The first chapter isn't long at all, but I couldn't find a way to lengthen it while remaining interesting. If I finish this one, I have plans for another sequel

< Message edited by G.I.G.A. -- 2/11/2011 21:45:13 >
DF MQ AQW  Post #: 5
2/12/2012 12:05:15   
lightmage14
Member
 

 Okay, so I read Downward Spiral just now, and all I can say is wow. I mean, really. Normally, I don't care for OC-centric fiction at all, but that just grabbed me by the face and glued me to the screen. It was suspenseful and the portrayal of his descent day by day just kept reeling me in deeper. I like how you used the bandits in this one, and how you built around some more ignored ideas in-game (why does no one else write about the adepts?); the way you wrote it was interesting, too, and overall, I loved it, which is a pretty big complement considering how picky I can be when it comes to liking OC fiction. I'm gonna go read Elemental Entropy now, and I've got some pretty high hopes after how well Downward Spiral turned out. Hope you write more. Cheers!
DF  Post #: 6
10/4/2014 9:54:52   
NagisaXIkari
Member

Read "Downward Spiral" just now which I had found on TvTropes.

Quite the short read, but at the same time it got everything across which was nice.

The idea of a Kathool involved was what prompted me to begin my own (as well as other reasons) albeit much more lengthy and I began long before reading your work.
DF  Post #: 7
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