(DF) Ocean of Hopelessness Discussion


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8/30/2014 5:57:11

NagisaXIkari
Member

Ocean of Hopelessness

First attempt at fanfiction, so I whipped up ten chapters and a prelude to see what happens. If there's a desire for more there will be more. If not, I tried at least.

The basic idea is a Lovecraft inspired horror with possible references and elements of other horror works while hopefully conforming to the forums guidelines. So there will likely not be anything reminescant of "Great God Pan" in this work as much as I'd like to.

I apologize if my grammer isn't up to par. It was never my strongest suit, but hopefully this'll be a good learning experience.

< Message edited by NagisaXIkari -- 8/31/2014 3:38:22 >

Post #: 1

8/31/2014 17:22:52

Dwelling Dragonlord

ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L

Let me begin by saying that the amount of writing done thus far is pretty impressive for someone new to the L&L.

I've got a couple of questions about the setting.

1. When does this story take place? It seems as if it takes place long after Book 3.

2. Who is the Soulweaver's SoulAlly?

AQW

Post #: 2

9/1/2014 18:22:19

NagisaXIkari
Member

Thank you for your kind words.

Anywho, neither of those had occured to me. If some time after Book 3 works, then some time after Book 3 it is.

The Soulweaver's SoulAlly will take some thought to make work. I should be able to come up with something to introduce it either during a dream sequence or the inevitable confrontation with Atlach-Nacha.

EDIT: Interlude and new chapters' up. Also went and fixed some spelling errors in earlier chapters and elaborated a bit on Xalia's robes. Granted everyone should know what the Ascendant robe looks like.

Writing fight scenes is not something I'm confident about. On top of being unsure of how well I described the abilities of the Soulweaver and Ascendant class. Especially Ascendant as I have no experience with the class.

EDIT September 6th: Two new chapters. One short and sweet and another more lengthy and full of fauxlisophical jibber jabber for the sake of characterization. And because my lack of confidence with fight scenes made me want to write something I am confident with which is dialogue.

EDIT September 10th: New chapter, further expanding on Mort's character. Next chapter will feature that I acknowledge the Rose is or was a thing in this tale's continuity.

< Message edited by NagisaXIkari -- 9/10/2014 3:54:18 >

Post #: 3

9/17/2014 6:40:46

NagisaXIkari
Member

Not one, but two new chapters.

Post #: 4

9/17/2014 17:30:10

Dwelling Dragonlord

ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L

quote:

The Soulweaver awoke with a gasp. Still took weak to sit up, but he found he had the strength of will to purge the venom from his body.

too

What prompted them to go deeper inside the cave? I doubt it was Xalia's idea considering her fear of spiders.

quote:

"Xalia, it's okay. Mort is my SoulAlly."

Not really a mistake, but I think it'd be more like. "It's okay, Xalia. This is Mort, the Elemental Spirit of <Insert Virtue here> and my SoulAlly."

quote:

"My apologise, Xalia," Mort said with a slight bow-courtsey.

apologies

quote:

The Soulweaver stood petrified with fear.

Wasn't he also a Paladin? So what is the reason for his fear of the undead?

quote:

"There are gods among us besides the Avatars,"

The Elemental Avatars are not gods, they are the avatars of gods whose manifestation are the elements themselves.

quote:

The pair recieved some glances as they passed by occupied tables, some people's voices dulling down to a whisper.

received

quote:

It was something on a scale he.was unfamiliar with.

space

quote:

Black smoke fills the room, none of the taverns patrons seeming to notice while Pan approaches Xalia, lifting her up by the neck.

filled, approached

quote:

"I am you new god.

your

quote:

Mort would find him. Mort was apart of him.

a part

AQW

Post #: 5

9/18/2014 3:34:56

NagisaXIkari
Member

Note to self: Proofread before posting.

Likely a sense of righteousness and a desire to overcome one's fear. Personally I'd be getting the hell out of town if I came into a place overrun with spiders that are bigger than most dogs. And as stated, a Paladin always helps those in need.

The unnamed Soulweaver is just a plain ol' Soulweaver who lived for the most part isolated from the rest of Darkovia and the world as a whole. The one that taught him to be a Soulweaver and instilled a sense of morality based on what I believe would be what is taught by the Paladin Order is a Soulweaver/Paladin much like the one we got teaser images for awhile ago.

Although as far as I know, that particular character has yet to appear in the game proper, so the Soulweaver/Paladin that wandered into Innsmouth is just another Soulweaver/Paladin as I'm operating under the impression that it's not an exclusive thing.

The Ghouls are also a mash up of the things from the Cthulhu Mythos and the Fallout series, more or less resembling the creatures from the Fallout series. Not undead, but they inhabit crypts and the like as they feed on corpses.

I had stated Mort is an Elemental Spirit of Death. Granted if that were a virtue it would likely be one associated with a Chaosweaver rather than a Soulweaver. Although their name and if you're familiar with the Five Elements Theory certainly gave that away.

More for anyone else who may be following, there's no signifigance behind Pandora being the name Pan said they go by when not being called Pan. I just needed something that could be shortened to Pan.

EDIT September 21st: New chapter up with another in the works. It'll be finished later when it's not nine AM and I haven't slept.

< Message edited by NagisaXIkari -- 9/21/2014 11:05:48 >

Post #: 6

9/22/2014 4:36:25

NagisaXIkari
Member

New chapter. Hoped to get it done sooner, but it was a doozy.

Post #: 7

9/22/2014 6:06:41

Dwelling Dragonlord

ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L

quote:

I had stated Mort is an Elemental Spirit of Death. Granted if that were a virtue it would likely be one associated with a Chaosweaver rather than a Soulweaver.

I would associate "Death" with neither virtue (Soulweaver) or vice (Chaosweaver), it is beyond good or evil in my opinion. Anyway, you briefly mention this fact to the reader. There is no indication that the characters were introduced to this knowledge.

quote:

In one cell he passed was a vaugely humanoid-like creature with the wings and facial structure of an insect.

vaguely

quote:

She felt nauseas and guilty. She said she's protect him, but the previous night would be a haunting reminder of her inability to protect anyone but herself which she began to doubt.

nauseous, she'd, but even now the reminder of the previous night made her doubt she'd be able to protect anyone but herself.

quote:

Like how to be human.

Does this mean he's something special? Or do you perhaps mean to say something else?

What is going on here?

quote:

"It was no woman, but a monster," Mort said standing beside the Soulweaver. "What it did to you is unforgivable."

Then later you write.

quote:

The Soulweaver shouted and began to flail around, panicing as if he was being attacked by the terrifying beast, Mort nowhere in sight.

I'm currently not seeing why an elder evil would cooperate with Valtrith, be it Pan or Samuel. Though if it did work I could see the two(?) alliances colliding. I'm interested to see how that pans out.

AQW

Post #: 8

9/23/2014 2:28:59

NagisaXIkari
Member

Nothing special, it's more of being human from a philosophical view. Xalia and the Soulweaver react to the events that unfold around them in ways one would think a human would which is often confusion and fear while Mort doesn't exactly react.

Something that's progressively changing during the events in the asylum.

Mort was present for the entire bit where the Soulweaver hallucinates seeing himself turn into a monster. Mort not being there is apart of that hallucination.

Samael has a keen interest in mankind. It may appear to be cooperating with Valtrith, but as time goes on its own agenda will come to light. Not sure how familiar you are with the Cthulhu Mythos, but when an Elder God appearing alongside humanity, it's often for their own gain. The current one introduced is essentially the Lovecraftian equvilant of Satan.

As for Pan, that too will come to light.

Post #: 9

10/1/2014 3:26:15

NagisaXIkari
Member

October 1st: Interlude and new chapter.

Quite the gap between updates as work over the last couple of days kept me from being able to be up well into the next day, hammering on my phone to put everything together.

DF	Post #: 10

10/1/2014 4:08:00

Dwelling Dragonlord

ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L

quote:

"Indeed. I was worshipped by many at one point. Men would pray to me for a successful hunt by burning the remains of their previous quarry. But like myself, their arrogance grew too much and they sought to hunt the most dangerous game. Humans."

So is Nodens a Terran interloper on the world of Lore? Secondly, what is meant by humans being the most dangerous game?

AQW

Post #: 11

10/1/2014 7:16:36

NagisaXIkari
Member

Nodens originates from a different dimension.

Humans being the most dangerous game originates from the short story "The Most Dangerous Game," in which a crazed hunter hunts humans for sport as they are courageous, cunning, and capable of reason. And he finds it fun.

Although with that being said, I should possibly change Nodens dialogue some. If humans are the most dangerous game why is a great hunter spending their time outside an asylum?

< Message edited by NagisaXIkari -- 10/1/2014 8:43:18 >

DF	Post #: 12

10/3/2014 6:05:05

NagisaXIkari
Member

New chapter up.

Provides insight into Xalia's backstory and has all the pretention that should be expected from me at this point.

DF	Post #: 13

10/10/2014 11:26:54

NagisaXIkari
Member

Two new chapters.

Next chapter will conclude the asylum arc in all its mind bogglingness.

DF	Post #: 14

10/11/2014 9:47:14

NagisaXIkari
Member

New chapter bringing the asylum arc to a close.

Twenty-five chapters being something of a milestone given this being my first attempt at fanfiction.

DF	Post #: 15

10/19/2014 9:11:34

NagisaXIkari
Member

Three new chapters: Id, Ego, and Superego.

DF	Post #: 16

10/27/2014 1:51:04

NagisaXIkari
Member

Two new chapters: Arkham Horror & Dingir.

DF	Post #: 17

11/2/2014 7:30:34

NagisaXIkari
Member

Update: Interlude III: Stalking and two chapters A Form of Worship and Reconstruction.

DF	Post #: 18

11/14/2014 6:36:51

NagisaXIkari
Member

Long not likely anticipated update: Lugal Ki En, The Haunter in the Dark, and The Unspeakable.

The creature that largely played the leading role in The Haunter in the Dark, Arkham Horror, and Stalking may be featured in a short story when this work is completed.

Something of an introspective tragedy like what a faithful adaptation of Frankenstein would be.

DF	Post #: 19

12/6/2014 1:17:56

NagisaXIkari
Member

Long overdue update: Waking Up In Morning, The Dunwich Horror.

DF	Post #: 20

2/2/2015 21:33:18

NagisaXIkari
Member

First update in a good long while: Brothers.

DF	Post #: 21

6/6/2015 0:56:50

NagisaXIkari
Member

First update in a good long time: Burdens.

Been occupied with life and with the recent events with the Baron make it difficult to try and keep it in line with the game as much as possible. Probably end up writing this off as an AU work.

DF	Post #: 22

6/15/2015 16:03:05

Azan
Member

Hello there!

I've just started reading your fanfiction, and it's great! As I'm currently in the middle of reading Lovecraft, I just bounced from happiness when I read your first sentence and the first part. Your story feels so Lovecraftian in Dragonfable I can only raise my hat to you!

There's something I've noticed when you talk about Darkovian nights:

quote:

The stars were usually quite pleasant to view on the few clear nights that were had in Darkovia. The sky was often obscured by clouds leaving little of anything in the sky uncovered as if someone had the idea that perpetual moonless nights added to the terrifying atmosphere this part of the world was supposed to have.

With the latest quest in the Book 3 Amityvale questchain, it's explained why Doomwood - Darkovia - has a constant full moon, so I wouldn't talk about "perpetual moonless nights".

I'm not done reading your story yet, so I may edit in a few more observations/compliments, but what I've read so far is mightily interesting.

Post #: 23

12/14/2015 16:50:05

NagisaXIkari
Member

First new chapter in a good long time, "Heart of Darkness." Occupied with real life and Book Three kinda making things difficult to tie this tale into the Dragonfable narrative without slapping AU on it.

The idea is to conclude the story at fifty chapters, so I should go back and tool around with some things to make it conform to the Dragonfable story.

DF	Post #: 24

5/17/2016 4:10:03

NagisaXIkari
Member

No new chapter for reasons as stated before. The recent Caitiff quest does make some interesting ideas and Caitiff's creation complicates things as this was started before its creation, so additional tooling around will need to be done.

Up until the conclusion of Valtrith's story ends with his demise which will really complicate things.

EDIT: Then I roll through Chasm and what happens...?

< Message edited by NagisaXIkari -- 5/23/2016 18:54:19 >

DF	Post #: 25

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