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RE: =Elemental Championships 2018= OOC & Tournament Signups

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6/29/2018 9:11:55   
  Starflame13
Moderator


 @brotherinlaw- please post a new version of the bio. You may use the same character. Please do not attempt to edit the new bio.

Also, while I have not read your full bio, the official element is Wind, not air. I will read and get reviews up likely this evening!
AQ DF MQ AQW  Post #: 26
6/29/2018 21:41:43   
roseleaf320
Creative!


 Name: Bei Lún
Race: Human
Gender: Female
Age: 16
Element: Energy

Appearance: Bei has light blond hair sloppily cut at shoulder-length, seemingly by herself. She wears thin cloth with short sleeves and leather boots. She’s thin, but well fed, and a tiny bit on the short side for her age. Her eyes, both a pale shade of yellow, stay almost completely still, even as her head is moving to follow others.

History: Bei Lún was born to a family of great wealth and extreme superstition. When she was delivered, both her mother and the doctor noted strange chills, as if their own life forces were being taken away from them. Fearing the baby would bring a curse upon her and her children, but not wanting to leave it on the street, she promptly delivered the child to a distant uncle claiming that she believed it would have a better life away from the chaos of the city. The uncle accepted care of the child with the condition that the family would send a large sum of money to him each year in order to pay for her upbringing. And thus, a deal was struck.

As the child began to grow, her new guardian was quick to realize that something was indeed different about her. Her eyes never followed him, or the old shoes he gave her to chew on, or the spoons he used to try to feed her. They followed nothing at all. When she cried, the air around her would spark, and sometimes the things she bit came out of her mouth with tiny char marks on them. Each time something new happened, he bumped up his price a little bit.

It took much longer for Bei herself to realize she was different. She would overhear him talking to the neighbors-- what did he mean she couldn’t see? Of course she could see. She was in her bedroom and yet she could see the two of them right there in the doorway, it couldn’t be any more obvious. Why was the man across the street so confused as to why he was coughing? Couldn’t he see his fever? But the thing that perplexed her the most was writing. What was the point of it? She could see the designs Uncle made with his quill, but they only lasted a moment before they disappeared. Why would he go and give that paper to someone else? That’s what first tipped her off. What defined his words? His sight wasn’t her sight. He could still see the designs. But he couldn’t see past walls, and he couldn’t see that his neighbor was sick. And he definitely couldn’t move the things he saw without going up and actually touching them. There was a whole level of his world that she couldn’t reach, and yet he couldn’t reach hers, either. What were the philosophical implications of that? But more importantly, did this mean she was the only one that could see the pretty colors that a storm made?

She tried to show her uncle the amazing world that he was missing out on. She would spend hours outside, making rainbows of color, using the world she saw to concentrate the air into beautiful designs. But he never understood. He looked on from inside, seeing only white sparks, feeling an occasional chill or wave of heat, and shrugged, slinking off to write another note to what she’d figured out were her parents. Did they leave her because they, too, couldn’t see this wonderful world she lived in? She wished with all of her heart that there was a way she could show them. She asked everyone she could, trying to figure out the words to say to at least make them understand. She figured out which words were different to her than they were to others, and which were the same. She learned that she could see “energy” and “heat” and learned what those words really meant. But no words she found could express that sight, not really. No one else could see it. Could know it. She was alone.

But then she overheard a conversation in the cottage next door, about a competition that could grant a wish. Her questions changed focus, from science and psychology to the competition. And soon after that, from the competition to fighting. She learned hand-to-hand combat, how to protect herself. She learned how to render a man unconscious with only a few well-placed strikes. But on her own, she also learned how to use her sight, and her special powers, against others. Surely if anyone could understand her world of energy and be impressed by it, it would be the elemental lord of energy himself. And then, if he was impressed by her, she’d finally be able to show her family exactly how beautiful the world around them really was.

Personality: To others, Bei could be summed up as an incredibly smart and curious young girl that sees the best in the world. Her unconscious, though, is a constant warzone. Her parents’ abandonment, her uncle’s disinterest, and her blindness have caused her to become both a girl that was forced to grow up too fast and a girl that never grew up at all. She has a much greater intellect than the average young adult, knowing and understanding facts about science, anatomy, and language that many grown adults cannot fully grasp. She can be incredibly philosophical at times, asking serious questions and debating answers about the meaning of life, words, perception, and morality. And yet, her psyche yearns for the simplicity and joy of a childhood she never got, and many of her words and behaviors reveal a maturity that at times is much lower than it should be for her age. Many of her philosophical contemplations are eventually brushed off by incredibly childish fascinations and dismissals, and she entertains many childish ideals and fantasies. Her main joy in life is a complete fascination for the “colors” she sees in her own world, much as a child is completely enthralled by fireworks or light shows. This conflict between child and adult controls her entire psyche, and even shows itself in her combat abilities: while she is intensely knowledgeable and skilled, she does not have complete control over herself and can sometimes even create things without knowing it. Bei Lún is her own paradox, a puzzle not even she herself can figure out. Although, can you expect anyone to figure out a puzzle without seeing the pieces? She is blind, after all.


Abilities:

Heat Sight: Bei is able to, much like an infrared camera, sense heat and the lack thereof. Because she is blind, she uses this as her “sight,” and though the most obvious use of this is identification of living things, slight differences in heat in the world around her (due mostly to different materials) allow her to form a pretty accurate concept of her surroundings. This kind of sight is not blocked by walls or other obstacles, but does get obscured and requires more focus the further away objects get from her. So, her awareness of the environment about 25 feet in radius around her is extremely high, but as she tries to look further from that she requires more focus accordingly, and it is incredibly hard for her to accurately see the environment more than 50 feet away from her.

Heat Manipulation:
Bei is also able to manipulate the heat around her, creating what she sees as a world of beautiful colors and designs at her own fancy. While there is plenty of heat in the air, living things are typically a much more efficient source of heat. She draws heat from her own self to move at will: her own body heat is slightly higher than a normal human, and she can survive with a much lower body temperature. However, if this low temperature becomes prolonged she will start to suffer from hypothermia as normal. While she can take heat from others, she cannot drop them to a point where they would suffer extreme hypothermia: the worst symptoms someone will suffer from her taking their heat are those associated with a high, but not medically alarming, fever (chills and heat flashes, shivering, general weakness and tiredness, slight trouble breathing, etc). Temperature taken from others must be lost as a drain rather than an instantaneous drop, and will slowly be naturally restored by the air around them. As such, the more heat Bei wants to take from a person, the longer it will take for her to get that amount. She may stop and start this drain at will, even if she has not gotten to the amount of heat needed for an intended attack.

Color Burst: Bei expels heat from her body in a quick burst. This can either be concentrated, as a small burst coming out of her hand, or a larger burst centered around her body (about five feet in radius). This is done with a force that pushes people about ten feet away from her, although heavier people are able to resist this and cut it down to about five feet.

Paint Refill!: Bei slowly saps heat from other people to restore it to her own body. This can only be done when her own temperature is lower than normal, and cannot be done if another effect is actively draining her body heat (like Sparkle Storm).


Lightning Creation:
Bei can concentrate large amounts of heat to create lightning. This heat can be drawn from herself, others, or the air around her, but requires time to gather.

Zap!: Bei fires a single, honed bolt of lightning at an opponent, starting from her hand, with a maximum range of 25 feet. Although the bolt itself is too quick for most normal-speed opponents to dodge, it takes about five seconds to charge up, and the charge is visible as a small storm around her hand. The bolt damages and surprises the target, leaving an ache or burning sensation that may last several minutes, but this damage is not even a fraction of the amount of devastation a real-life lightning bolt causes, as the heat Bei generates for it is much much less than that created by the electron-transfer in a storm. If this bolt targets an arm or hand, it causes the opponent hit to drop anything metal they are holding. It also creates a clap of thunder, which may interrupt spellcasting in a 30 foot radius if the casters are not devoting much concentration to their spells.

Paint Splatter: Bei creates a storm of sparks immediately in front of the palm of her hand, sending an opponent reeling backwards and imprinting a slight burn mark (only first degree) on their skin or armor. This is enough to surprise and frazzle an opponent, but not enough to create long-lasting pain. She MUST be touching an opponent for this to have any effect. This does not require a lot of heat, and is mostly used as a “panic button” if enemies get too close to her, but as she is not fully aware of what she is doing it can only be used when she is incredibly scared and has no other easy means of fighting off the attack, for example, if she is pinned down and cannot use her hands or feet to hit an opponent’s weak spots (will be elaborated on in a different section).

Sparkle Storm: If Bei is incredibly angry or scared, the area around her body (about 15 feet in radius) begins to crackle with small lightning sparks (not even a centimeter in length). Opponents that enter the charged area suffer what feels like small shocks all over their body, but are not knocked back, and thus can still attack her if they can concentrate and withstand the shocks. If they are in the area for an extended period of time their skin starts to suffer from burns. If something metal is being held by the opponent, the skin immediately holding it becomes the central target for the sparks. Thus, the skin will become burned much quicker, and the hand (or other appendage) will start to suffer muscle spasms that make it very difficult to maintain their hold on the weapon. If metal armor is worn, the opponent’s entire body will suffer from small muscle spasms, but because the sparks are more spread out, these spasms will be easier to control. The charged area drains heat from Bei’s body as well as making her quickly feel emotionally and physically drained, and thus fades in about fifteen to twenty seconds. After this, Bei will no longer feel scared or angry, but instead very tired, potentially causing her other attacks to be slower and less focused.
Bei can create a similar effect willingly, draining a smaller amount of heat to maintain a storm with a radius of 10 feet, and a lesser effect. Opponents find it much easier to concentrate despite shocks, and can maintain easier control over any spasms. If Bei starts this effect while her body heat is normal, it will take 20 seconds to drain enough heat that she will have to turn it off and restore heat to her body. No other heat or lightning attack can be used while this is active, though she can turn it off willingly before the 20 seconds are over.

Overload: Bei is confident she can impress her elemental lord without killing, and on the contrary believes that finding a way to win while still leaving others alive would be MORE impressive. If an opponent is completely pinned to the ground or knocked unconscious, she can channel her body heat and the heat around her to send electrical shocks through the opponent’s body, overloading their neurons and rendering them unable to move while still allowing essential system communications to regulate functions such as breathing and heart rate. This effect lasts half an hour before movement is slowly regained over the course of an extra fifteen minutes, before fading completely with no long-term repercussions. This essentially takes an opponent out of the competition that round while protecting them from any life-long damage (or death).


Weak Spots: During her time training for the EC, Bei taught herself a specialized style of hand-to-hand combat focusing on taking advantage of her small figure and agility. She knows many human pressure points and focuses on hitting them in a way that will render an opponent weak or useless, though it will take multiple attacks in the same spot to have such a major effect. Against humanoids, these pressure points will tend to be the same, but when facing something incredibly different she will try to apply her current knowledge and may end up guessing horribly wrong. Each attack she does she can choose to infuse with a small amount of electricity in order to do a very small bit of extra damage and phase or confuse the opponent. She can also choose to drain a small amount of heat specifically from the spot she hits for the same effect, but she cannot reliably maintain both effects at the same time. Most common targets: jaw, voicebox, inside of elbow, armpit, or knee, back of the ankle (Achilles’ heel), and wrist.

Equipment:

Rainbow Wire: Bei carries a metal wire about five feet in length, loosely wound around her wrist. She can channel a low amount of heat through this wire or cause it to crackle. Both of these effects can cause burning or nerve damage if prolonged, but if the wire only makes contact for a second or two the effects only really startle them. The wire itself is not sharp, but is incredibly durable, and will still cause bleeding if it digs into skin. Bei uses this wire both to block attacks from weapons and to quickly bind an opponent (would typically take three seconds if the opponent is not struggling at all, which is unlikely), making it much easier for her to pin them down and enable her Overload attack. Although it is extremely durable and cannot be cut with something like a sword, it will still be destroyed if exposed to flame for an extended period of time, and can be forcefully snapped by someone with extreme strength.

Paint-Balls!: Bei carries, tied to a belt around her waist, a bag of two dozen incredibly dense metal balls, about a centimeter in diameter. She can choose to either charge these with electrical shocks, or heat the metal until it’s just below its melting point. If a charged ball hits an enemy, it creates small muscle spasms at the impact point for about two seconds. If Bei is able to hit a pressure point with a charged ball, it will cause the associated area to go completely limp for one second. If it hits the middle of the wrist, for example, the hand will go limp long enough for an opponent to drop what they are holding, but short enough that they can quickly pick it back up or use their hand to make a different action.She also has the option of channeling heat into the balls, making it so they are still held in one piece as they are thrown but they will change shape if hit (think like a blacksmith crafting a sword). If a heated ball hits another person(or anything else), then it will flatten considerably, creating a burn, and will need to be knocked or pulled off unless the surface they hit is angled forward, in which case gravity will naturally make it fall.
These balls (no matter their heat or charge) can fly for about 50 feet before they drop to the ground, but her aim is only reliable for about 40 feet. If she tries to throw a ball at something further away than that, she likely will not only miss the body part she was aiming for, but the person entirely. At 20 feet she can reliably hit a general limb or area provided she is not distracted or interrupted by something, and at 10 if not distracted she can reliably hit a specific pressure point (though it is unlikely that, at this distance, small metal balls will be her best option for attack or defense).

Last Resort: Although Bei is very reluctant to kill, she knows there may come a time when she has to choose that over dying. Under the sleeve of her right hand, she has tied a small, yet incredibly sharp dagger. She believes that the use of a physical blade is a show of her own weakness and inability to use her own special skills and knowledge, and so has vowed to use the dagger only if she absolutely needs to kill to protect her own life. In order for the dagger to actually get into an opponent’s body, it must only have to go through skin or incredibly light cloth, and her right hand and arm must be completely free to move. Because of the panic, fear, and shame behind this use, if the dagger enters an opponent’s body, all of Bei’s own body heat will be almost instantaneously channeled through it, resulting in an electrical shock strong enough to cause complete shutdown of organs, muscles, and other tissues directly surrounding the dagger. If the dagger pierces anything but the neck, chest, or torso, this will not result in death, although it will most likely cause the loss of the appropriate body part and the opponent will be knocked unconscious. After this, though, whether her opponent is dead or not, the sudden exertion, heat loss, and emotional strain will cause Bei to collapse, shivering uncontrollably, hyperventilating, and vomiting. In this state, the only thing she can do to defend herself is swing her dagger around chaotically and kick or push at others to try to keep them away from her. This will last for almost a minute and a half as she regains her heat, and after that she will slowly begin to recover more of her defenses and concentration. Although she has a chance of being able to concentrate enough, and being lucky enough, to survive the rest of the round, she will become permanently traumatized by the event, and will decide she will die before she ever again attacks another with the intent to kill.




Post #: 27
6/29/2018 22:06:06   
brotherinlaw
Member

Sorry, like I said, I had to go into the edit function to copy it, must have hit 'save' instead of 'cancel'. I'll be more carefully.



Name:方士, in the Common alphabet Fangshi
Age: 163
Race: Human
Class: Necromancer
Element: Wind

Appearence: Five foot nine inches tall and of a lean, if somewhat bulky build, Fangshi is of Mongoloid descent and possesses almond shaped eyes, sharp cheekbones, and a somewhat flattened nose. He is shaved bald of facial hair, head hair, and even his eyebrows. His skin is unusually tanned, almost reddish brown, due to his wandering, yet strangely lacks wrinkles or scars considering his age. In fact, the only imperfections on his skin are the tattoos on his back and forehead. Written in pure-white ink that glows under the moonlight, his back is covered in prayers to various God's and ancestors to protect him from curses and misfortune, and his forehead bears four circles in a diamond to grant him Death's sight, said to allow him to see the astral plane and those who would hide from mortal eyes, even through closed lids. His trade itself has left a mark on him as well, giving his ears a subtle point and his eye are now pure white.
He is dressed in a simple monks red with yellow trim robe that leaves his right side exposed, with sandals wrapped up his shins, loose red pants and a yellow sash (such extravagance is unusual for a monk, but laws in his homeland require it to designate his sect). While on the road, he wears a yellow cloak that covers his exposed arm and wraps under his left arm, with a simple bronze clamp holding it together above and to the right of his stomach.

Equipment:
incense rope-dart- wrapped around his waist and hidden under his sash, this incredible weapon combines a rope-dart and incense burner. While the blessed dart makes for an unpredictable but savage weapon and the silk band it's connected to will wrap around swords rather than be cut, making it a hazard for enemies, by far the most dangerous element is the small burner directly behind the blade. Filled with certain herbs and spices, the smoke it produces has a numbing effect on the mind of most, yet focuses those acclimated to it and, most importantly, provides focus and substance to yokai spirits summoned by the necromancer, either for communication and cleansing or for combat.
Ancestors Prayer necklace- a family heirloom, this necklace is strung, not with beads, but with the skulls of the last nine of Fangshi's necromancer ancestors. Each one has their birthstone in polished orbs for eyes, with each orb engraved in turn with the name of the skull in which it is set. While the ancestors possess the necklace, all of them, not just the nine skulls, lack actual power, they will sing in chorus with Fangshi as he chants his spells, magnifying the potency in the same way monks will chant in chorus to magnify it far beyond the sum of it's parts. It also bears a talisman in the very center, a piece of weathered wood said to bear The Elemental Lord of Air's true name in an extinct Elemental tongue and set with a Great Qubak feather behind so The feather's fluff makes a halo around The wood. The Necromancer hopes to a one-day present his daughter with it, with his skull replacing the oldest of the nine.
bag of o-fuda - in a small satchel on his hip, separated in four bundles of twelve, are spell talismans of wind magic, each possessing a small wooden weight at the top for throwing and an adhesive on the reverse side. The first one, upon coming in contact with the target, summons a concussive blast of non-elemental force, about equivalent to a flashbang grenade, minus the flash. The second summons a column of wind that encircles the target in wind strong enough to bend metal and rend flesh for twelve seconds, protecting them but also trapping them to that spot. The third is a healing spell, requiring five-second of contact untill healing begins and five-seconds of inactivity for healing, resulting in healed lacerations and bruises and partial healing to more severe wounds, stopping blood-loss and setting broken bones. The final swallows the subject in to be swallowed in the earth and allows them to traverse almost instantly seventeen feet in any direction before returning to the surface. Each spell takes a full second to activate, unless it is cut, in which case it activates instantly.
hidden dagger- hidden in a holster up his left sleeve, the simple five-inch steel triangle is commonly carried by traveling monks to avoid robbery. In his case, it makes an excellent last-defence should the enemy get into close range.

Abilities:
summon Yokai spirits- by consistently chanting, Fangshi can summon angry Yokai spirits loyal to him. While relatively intangible, they can take substance from his incense smoke to fight. Their formless bodies can claw someone, superficially scratching them but inflicting common ailments like aches, sores, headaches, coughs, and bad luck. They can also hit hard-enough to knock the wind out of someone without armor. These weak mobs will be relatively harmless to an armored warrior, but can be summoned up to twenty and are useful to keep the foe at a distance, the prime range for Fangshi's ropedart.they also, as moving incense smoke, will provide an ongoing impediment to the enemies' focus.
Death's sight- through his forehead tattoo, Fangshi can see even with his eyes closed when he's chanting. It also allows him to see any foe that has hidden themselves in some way.
elemental and magical protection- the tattooed prayers on his back provide resistance to magic, especially luck-based magic that affects his luck or increases his enemie's. The talisman on his necklace also gives him incredible elemental wind resistance.
martial arts- as most monk sects, especially necromancer ones, have been attacked in the past, it's common for the non-pacifistic factions to develop or use a form of martial art. In Fangshi's case, he has been extensively trained in weapons like the rope-dart and knife, among others, as well as had-to-hand combat. The form he uses focuses on disabling with pressure-points, using your enemies momentum and weight against them, and disarming them with your bare hands. It's weakness is that it lacks offensive power outside of the usage of pressure points, and focuses of disabling so he can gain distance and resume use of the rope-dart and spirits. Fangshi is considered a master, as he has trained since his birth two-lifetimes ago and remains in peak physical condition.
become Lich? due to his vocation, concern arose among his backers in the Championship that he may turn into a Lich upon death, and whether that meant a loss or not. To assuage concerns, Fangshi swore to remove himself from the Championship should he indeed become undead upon his death. Furthermore, he would disqualify himself from future Championships and return to his homeland, cleansing undead and training his daughter to take his place at the temple helping troubled souls pass on.



Also, thanks for being understanding an not making me create a new character over a stupid blunder! Would'nt have been the first time it happened, and, in all honesty, probably won't be the last....

Oh, and the minor rule I mentioned? Somehow I missed that ALL attack types should be the same element, so that should be fixed now.
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 28
6/30/2018 17:34:05   
  Starflame13
Moderator


 And the weekend rush has begun! As a reminder, the deadline to submit bios is July 14th, two weeks from today.

@roseleaf320 - Welcome to the EC's! Bei is a very solid character, particularly for a first time entrant! I have a few minor edits/clarifications to go over, but you're on the right track.

You clarified with me prior that using heat as a form of Energy was ok, so we don't need to worry about cross-elemental powers here. I do have some questions about the general Paint Refill/heat Manipulation - does this require physical contact, and if not, how close does Bei need to be to people/hot objects for it to work? In general, you'll need to be careful in balancing how much heat you draw in and how much you expend via attacks. For example, you should not be able to cast Sparkle Storm every other minute. As long as you are aware of this, I won't require you to define exactly how fast she absorbs heat, but it should be true that she expends significantly more heat then she absorbs during the average battle. In addition, keep in mind that the temperatures in the arenas do vary, so drawing heat from the air for your lightning creation abilities may be more or less effective depending on the arena.

For your lightning creation in general, be careful about how you word things to avoid accidental bunnying. For example, in Zap: "it causes the opponent to drop anything metal" vs. "if the opponent's hand is unprotected, it SHOULD cause them to drop anything metal." You don't need to edit your bio for this, but be careful in how you write the abilities out in combat.

Now, Overload. This is a bit too powerful as-is if it can fully remove a conscious opponent from battle just because they're prone. There are a couple ways you can go about this: if you want to use the ability more often, you can try something along the lines of a very brief total paralysis. If you want to keep the intended effect of removing someone from battle, it should only be doable on an unconscious opponent. You can also play around with varying levels of power - maybe it only briefly shocks an opponent at full strength, but fully paralyzes someone who is exhausted and drained.

Onto your Equipment! For Rainbow Wire, my biggest issue is that it's thin enough to be snapped with strength, yet durable enough to not be cut by a sword. If you wish it to retain the latter property, it likely should be enchanted of some sort (which could impact how well it carries her heat/charges). Otherwise, I'd say that multiple sword strikes should be able to cut wire.

Lastly, Last Resort. You've included a lot of limitations on it (that it needs to go through skin and that it severely weakens her to use, etc.), but a guaranteed Knock-Out hit is powerful, in particular for one that works wherever it's stabbed in the body (with death being the result if it hits the neck, chest, or torso). I would try to tone this back slightly, where maybe strikes on outer limbs just result in paralysis of the limb, while a successful (and much harder to achieve) torso strike would either have total paralysis or briefly knock someone unconscious, depending on the resistance. Of course, this goes for just damage caused by the electrical shock. If Bei does actually manage to stab someone through the heart, well, I think they'd die to the dagger before anything else. If you do want to keep in the intense electrical damage for locations that would likely be a death already for flavor, that is fine!



@brotherinlaw - Hello! This version does look significantly improved over the last one, but we've got a couple major issues to take care of.

First, in the EC, Death has Consequences. This is part of the tournament rules. If your character dies in the EC, your character is dead. The only free path to resurrection is if you die in the Paragon phase, and your Elemental Lord chooses to resurrect you to serve in the Finals. While there are some strenuous, writing-intensive ways to work in a resurrection (another character using their boon for yours, for example), they require intense narrative undertaking. In-character preparations like contingency spells, horcruxes, and turning into Undead upon death DO NOT COUNT, and the souls of those dead are marked such that common necromancers cannot raise them. If Fangshi is slain in the EC's, he will die. If this is not a risk you are willing to take with this character, you should submit another.

Now, balancing! For your rope-dart, I'm assuming that the incense burner is meant to travel through the air with the dart itself? If so, I believe the weapon you are thinking of is closer to a Meteor Hammer, which has a similar fighting style but would account for the different aerodynamics of a much larger, more solid mass being tossed about. These can be spiked if you wish to keep that aspect, but if you specifically want a dagger, I don't see how the incense burner is meant to travel along with it without significantly altering its flight path. For the incense burner itself, does Fangshi need to light it, or does it just constantly produce smoke on its own? (I'm assuming in either case, the smoke "wafts" out like traditional incense smoke, rather than pouring out like a bonfire).

For the talismans in the Bag of O-Fudu: the concussive blast (First Talisman) is ok, but the rest need a bit of work or clarification. The column of wind (Second Talisman) is a bit too powerful if it's able to literally rip someone to pieces for trying to step through it. It can be painful to step through (more so the less armor/protection), but it should not be enough to kill. You can also go with the idea that it will instead knock someone over or off balance if they try to step through. For the Healing (Third Talisman) - this is ok, under the assumption that if either the contact or inactivity are interrupted, the talisman is still used up. If this is incorrect, the amount it heals should be lessened somewhat. Lastly, the earth travel (Fourth Talisman). This is an Earth ability, rather than a Wind, and is considered a cross-element ability. If you want to keep the same aspect, perhaps it could instead have the wind boost his speed briefly, or give Fangshi a massive push in any direction he wants (within range).

For your abilities, I'm most concerned about Summoning Yokai Spirits. As written, this breaks the no-multiple characters rule by giving you a literal army of smoke spirits. A safer way to work through this would be to have the wind cause the smoke to take the shape of the spirits, without actually summoning any. In this way, you could have a gust of wind cause the "smoke spirits" to slam into/knock over enemies, or make it seem like you have a wall of angry smoke spirits that (while possible to walk through) may be disorienting. You can also play with how wind howls to add in screams to these effects. If you are set on fully summoning spirits, it needs to be severely limited in both number and function. My general rule for summons is if they can act fully autonomously and impact the flow of battle independently from your character, then they are considered multiple characters. A potential solution is to summon individual spirits with single commands like "trip" or "punch" or "claw" at a specific enemy, and have them vanish directly after. You may propose other ideas, but note that they should be similarly limited.

Please be sure to fully read ALL the rules, as well as the introduction post in its entirety, and feel free to ask if you have questions or need clarification on anything.
AQ DF MQ AQW  Post #: 29
6/30/2018 19:23:09   
TormentedDragon
Member

Name: Oz
Race: Human?
Element: Earth

Fugue
The Checkered Fool. Skull man. Bone clown. The buzzing noise has many names and titles for Oz, and Oz accepts them all. Stares follow as they wander, coin taken or not at inns, flophouses, taverns. Oz forces none. The noise might fear, and turn Oz away, or fear, and be made meek; Oz cares little.

The noise is that of wraiths, ephemeral and fleeting. Those that matter persist, gathered to the fold. All that matters is Oz.

All our friends are here with us.

Checkered Fool
That which is Oz stands tall and broad, an edifice bedraped in cloth of checkered black and white. These robes are hung about squared shoulders straight and strong enough to bear a pair of falcons, and centered at the head by the distinctive skull of a deer, bones yellowed with age, and horns replaced with tattered sable leather. ‘Neath the skull one sees a face, nose and mouth covered by more checkered cloth, with emerald eyes surrounded by the palest of skin.

The robes of Oz dust the ground, flowing strangely as their bearer moves, so that Oz seems to float instead of walk. If limbs exist, they lie within the fabric, impossible to verify by sight alone - though the clinking and rattling of its movement certainly seems to suggest that there is something underneath there.

Oz stands 6’4” and is quite gangly in construction - the cloth serves to obscure the slender torso and thin arms and legs, wrapped in lengths of wire and rows of bones of all sorts. Bones stretch from their shoulders, extending the breadth of their profile to about 3 and half feet, presenting both a more intimidating front and giving them more room to work with underneath their checkered robes. Lengths of bone hang from these constructs, connected by wire, with skulls (complete with wired jaws) human and non interspersed among the macabre bounty.

The checkered pattern persists on all the clothing they wear beneath the bones, making it difficult to determine, even should the robes part, where Oz starts and ends through visual means.

Friends
Oz puppets, or is puppeted by, the bones Oz bears. Sturdy wire, formed of treated and enchanted sinew, slides through and ‘round the bones, puzzling them together and moving them as desired. Whether limb alone or body whole, all is possible, provided there is bone to build it.

The wraiths around oft take issue with Oz, seemingly for existing - and so bone was shaped for battle. Points, clubs, blades, and shield, hardened by soulful will and dancing to the wire’s whim, so did Oz grow; those souls slain joined their chorus.



Less IC explanations below:

Oz is human … perhaps. They certainly function as a human does - eating, breathing, sleeping, seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, touching - though a moment’s observation or conversation would make it clear that Oz is clearly mad. They might seem to notice both more and less - but there is but one head and body there that is not formed of bone.

Oz controls bones by way of wire with a bit of earthen magic worked in. Bones are hardened and resistant to splintering from the shock of impact, tempered by the same magic that imbues the wires with motive force to be comparable to steel. These bones can form into tools that give Oz an impressive range in a melee, from halberd to dagger.

A more advanced technique is the formation of a full body - be it beast or biped. Still controlled by wire, this puppet nevertheless moves like its form might, limited by the range of the wires that tie it to the puppeteer. For these forms, there is enough sinew that they can range surprisingly far - but the farther they range, the less control there can be, and the more sinew devoted to that form. The farthest reach goes to 20 feet - beyond, and there may as well be no puppet.

No puppet moves ‘less Oz moves with it.

Beast puppets:
The wolf: a harasser form, this puppet’s jaw will clamp, then wire shut. Best used closer in.
The hawk: it only seems to fly, moving with the speed of a toss rather than a true glide or dive - but those talons remain as sharp as when it lived. Beware of strikes at the eyes. This form “flies” farthest.

Bipeds
There’s little variation in the bipedal form when reduced to simply bone; the most utility comes from a difference in height. Thus:
Goblin: pint-size and mostly skull - there are no hands, only daggers. Be wary of your calves.
Drakel: Tall - near as tall as Oz, and the skull profile is rather similar to that Oz wears. A tortoise’ shell serves for a shield, with the scythe off some loathsome beast a cleaving sword. The tail, if built, mostly hangs loose - but take care of the sharpened points in these bones.
Human(?): A loose-hanging jaw clatters as it moves, a macabre, mocking grin. It bears sickles for weapons.
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 30
6/30/2018 22:16:13   
Necro-Knight
Member

Name: Suhmat

Race: Human-Elemental

Age: 27

Element:Fire

Appearance – From the desert sands of Solinsa, near the eastern coast, Suhmat has a darker skin tone and a ponytail of black hair. A thick goatee, trimmed neatly, frames his mouth and jaw. Deep emerald eyes watch over his back in Bren's streets and his thin form is filled with mostly wiry muscle and a few scars from run ins with unsightly individuals among his travels.

Backstory: Suhmat and his brother Ahujin, were born in the coastal city of Solinsa. The beautiful city was located on the western coast of their lands, with a lush forest near the east exit of the city, leading more inland and towards popular trade partners across the desert sands. Ever since its creation, Solinsian citizens were born with a natural affinity for elemental magic, as the city was established directly on the well of a ley-line and run off magic often soaked into plants, food and water supplies. This slow trickle of mana-infused, plus natural ability, eventually linked the city of Solinsa with the elements of the world and their culture began to revolve around worshipping the elements in all things.

Suhmat and his sibling were born from the burning core of the world, their gift earning them the title of “Fireborn”. This specific caste of elemental warriors was bred for a direct, visceral form of combat to defend Solinsa from whatever came out of the forest during the winter months. Ahujin, being the elder sibling, was chosen among a set of Fireborn tasked with maintaining guard along the far east border, as bandits and Beings of Night (ethereal void-esque creatures attracted to the elemental spark in Solinsians) had stepped up attacks in recent weeks.

While Ahu'jin was away, he was tasked with remaining in the city and ensuring no Beings of Night emerged from the sea during the short summer nights. The warm seasons soon turned into the coolness of Autumn, and his brother had not yet returned. The mission should’ve only taken a few days, and it had been months. Fatigued from anxiety at the loss of his brother, the young Fireborn headed out to find his brother alone and was barred by the Arcane Elders. This council were the arcane scholars of the city and lead the faith of the elements. Their wisdom was law.

Their ‘law’ was now forbidding any travel outside of the city beyond trade and supplies with armed escort. The unexplained disappearance of the finest Fireborn the city knew had set the Elders on edge, and with them, all Solinsa. Other scouts, Suhmat knew, had been sent to investigate, but had returned with nothing. No information of a struggle, no remains to recover. It was as if the sands themselves had swallowed Ahujin and his party whole. So, if the Elders and other Fireborn wouldn’t find his only family now, he would do it through his own means.

The young firetwister committed two crimes that night. The first was setting flame to a holy altar dedicated to the many elemental spirits Solinsa worshiped, and the second, was the ultimate act of disrespect. While the town was in a frenzy dealing with the burning idols, Suhmat infiltrated the Chapel of Elements, usually reserved specifically for the Elders and their communing with the lords of their world. As he knelt into the circle, enchanted with bits of every building block of nature, and gathered his will, a sense of betrayal chilled his spine. It was the job of the lords to preserve their people, and they had let his only family be taken by only the Flame knew what. He wanted to know why.

With a spark of light, the circle burned with his willpower, and the communion began. He already had a natural link to the world of fire, so sending his mind to this foreign place was not difficult. The real challenge would be reaching the ears of “Ela Nar”, as his people called the fire spirit.

“El’nar! One of your children demands an audience!”

He cried, as loud as his will would allow him, feeling his body already beginning to ache from the effort it was taking to maintain the spell. As he screamed louder and louder, he felt lesser fire spirits directed their attention to him. As he was calling out for the very heart of the furnace, none dared move without their master’s permission. After one final call, he saw the plane of fire suddenly twist and every spark of heat converged around him, like a great storm from the coast, and a booming voice sent him flying onto his back. While he’d never heard the sound before, his very soul burned in understanding. This was El’nar, He of the Flames.

“A mortal, one of my own children at that, dares to enter my realm and demand my attention? You spit upon the blessing I have bestowed upon you.”

Even with his natural endurance against extreme temperatures, Suhmat could barely form the words, as the swirling flames stole the air from his lungs, but he managed to spit through clenched teeth, “One of… your children was taken, my brother, and you have done nothing. Why… does our Father of Flame forsake us? Why?”

The storm was silent for a moment, before it replied, voice crackling like a thousand trees burning in a forest fire.

“All my children accept their gift at their conception, and understand that I shall show no aid in their existence. Fire must grow and seek its own fuel to survive. It is its own fault if something else comes along to snuff it out.”

Suhmat could hear the finality in his words. He would find so solace in this place, no compassion… only contempt. Despite his body trembling violently in the chapel, the young man’s vulnerable soul roared with fury and unleashed his own storm upon the spirit in his own realm, obscene words and curses flying from his body in pure spiteful rage. He’d barely finished the third curse before the storm suddenly snapped up and curled towards him. The force of El’nar’s wrath sent his mind reeling back into the chapel and his body flying back down the stone steps into the aisles leading to the podium. His will shattered, the communion should’ve ended, but it seemed the fire lord wasn’t quite done with him yet and maintained the spell as his flames poured from the circle, consuming the body of his heretical spawn.

“Your mortal kind have never truly respected the Fire, the true spark of life in your world. Even your sun was born of me, and now, I shall show you the cost of your disrespect! Your people shall pay, and I shall burn this rebellious humanity from you!”

Suhmat wouldn’t have been able to understand the words if they weren’t roaring in his mind, as his own voice was being screamed raw from the agony. The flames weren’t burning, they seemed to be soaking into his body, charring his soul and rearranging the ashes into something…not human. The entity roared and clawed at his mind, doing its best to take his sanity with it, but as he rolled side to side on the chapel floor, he refused to break. This “god” had let his brother die, and he would rather die himself then submit to him.
Rolling into a fetal position as his mind burned, Suhmat slowly opened his eyes at the sound of screams besides his own. Through the curved windows of the chapel, he saw his home consumed by waves of heat and fire that rippled from the chapel’s stone.

“Your people shall pay,” the voice of El’nar had said, and now he understood. The spirit wished him as a leashed dog, but his people were suffering for his mistake. Friends, his home… all of Solinsa was being consumed by a firestorm, and he was the catalyst. His fireborn-soul was keeping the firelord’s rage channeling through the chapel’s walls and into Solinsa with fatal results.

“C’mon, little brother…” a new voice said, calm and collected, almost like an icy spear through the roaring madness in his mind. “He’s not using anything new against you… We all have this monster in us, but it’s ours. Make it yours.”

Suhmat didn’t know if this was truly his brother reaching out across the great beyond, or his brain simply shattering and creating imaginary havens, but he didn’t have time to figure out which. He opened his soul to the primal fire and felt the strength permeate his being. His skin glowing like someone had lit a bonfire beneath his flesh, he was only able to push one single thought through the cacophony of crackling laughter sweeping through his psyche; Destroy.

It didn’t take long. The chapel was old stone and wood, older than the city itself, and with the beast driving him forward, the structure began to buckle and collapse around him. Tears of molten rock fell down his cheeks as he tore the once-holy place apart, screams from his home echoing through the streets. He’d never wanted this, to hurt anyone, but he could try to make it right before the end came for him. As he dug molten claws into the Elemental Circle now, and dug through the enchanted stone like an animal, the spell finally broke and unleashed a backfire of arcane power that shattered the roof and sent Suhmat flying over the city wall, where he landed a few yards out in the dunes. Cut off from its home, the fire beast in his soul subsided after bracing his body from the impact and darkness finally took him.

Awaking to soft patter of rain against his bare chest, Suhmat found his home reduced to a blackened ruin. No one was left on the streets, and no buildings remained standing. Within a matter of a few minutes, the firelord had left him the sole survivor of a ghost town. As he sat down upon a stone bench, dread and cold rain alike soaking into his bones, a half-charred parchment caught in the wind swept up and plastered itself across his chest. Suhmat half-expected the paper to be simply a price for fruits or transport from the coast, but instead he found an elegantly written flier, the penmanship not local to Solinsa. It spoke of a great tournament in the arriving weeks, birthed by beings beyond mortal comprehension, and the ultimate reward; the right to wish anything from such beings. The location was the city of Bren, only a few city hops away, if he found a caraven at the first stop. Fresh tears made it impossible to see and he stood, the rain almost feeling refreshing now as his delirious laughter echoed through his charred city. He could right his wrong. He could save his people.


Equipment

• Scorpion’s Sting armblades – Steel arm blades purchased along the way with gold salvaged from the ruins of Solinsa, the Scorpion’s Sting weapons featured a strong metal bracer that covered the entire forearm of the wearer, and featured a double-blade mechanic. Pressing the palm trigger closest to his thumb, Suhmat can extend the 1.5-foot-long-blades over the top of his wrists, and used the blades in a natural, dual-wielding style. Pressing the trigger nearest the underside of his hand with his pinky and ring finger, extends the blades at the opposite end of the bracer, out towards past elbows. Only one set of blades, either forward or back, can be extended at a time on the same gauntlet.
With another deposit of gold, Suhmat had taken the weapons to the next town on his way towards Bren and spoke to the local enchantress, blessing the blades to keep them from melting when he brought his fire to bear and giving them the ability to dispel low-tier magics that impacted the metal bracers along his arms, such as foreign fire or other elemental spells. Given his lack of armor, she had implored he take the extra defense.

• Fireborn Warrior armor – While his torso was completely unarmored, to help his firesoul breath for his magics, Suhmat had collected bits of armor that had not been completely ruined from Solinsa’s firestorm and had them repaired while his blades were being enchanted. This armor, forged by Fireborn themselves, was especially resistant to flame and intense heat, keeping a warrior protected while they burned hot in battle. The armor along his lower stomach and legs was a strong golden color, while the layers of leather and cloth were a mix of red and deep teal, adding a regal design to his appearance.

Abilities

• Volcanic blood – Where most Fireborn preferred sticking to the more swift and versatile flames, Suhmat had branched out and sharpened his skills with lava as well. His most direct attack, he can summon an orb of the dripping, searing substance and send it hurtling towards a target. Due to the incredible density of the substance, the maximum range before gravity takes over is roughly 20 feet.

• Efreet’s core - Suhmat inhales briefly, before expelling an eruption of flame that fades into thick smoke from his lungs in a 10-foot cone out from his current position. The burning breath lasts until he empties his lungs, usually around seven to eight seconds

• Skin of Am-het – Using a similar technique to his volcanic blood spell, Suhmat can coat his torso and shoulders with a layer about two inches thick in lava, using it to dull or melt a weapon not enchanted to either resist the intense heat before it reaches his skin, or carrying enough blunt force to carry through the ‘armor’ layer.

• Tendrils of Arum – Extending his arms, the Fireborn can extend whip-like formations of fire (reaching about 10 feet in length) from his arms and wield them for ranged harassment of a target. While extremely hot and able to be snapped in and out rather rapidly, the tendrils cannot grip or wrap around an object.

At the cost of more intense focus and 5 feet of range, Suhmat can form tendrils of lava very similar to the tendrils of Arum, and interact with objects physically or strike with a more intense, weighted blow.

• Moderately enhanced strength – While his physical capabilities weren’t enhanced before his cataclysmic event in Solinsa, his elemental side has granted him strength about fifteen prcent higher than that of a normal man his size. While not enough to tear armor or snap blades, the strength would be enough to attempt to overpower an equal-sized opponent through force alone, without magic entering the confrontation.

• El’nath’s Rampage – If truly fearing for his future existence, Suhmat can once again accept the Elemental, now named El’nath, and temporarily let it have control of his form. Only having done this once before, he only truly experienced the rabid fury from the inside, but outside doing so bathes his torso and arms in a bright fire that is hot, but not enough to provide defense like the Skin of Am-het. In the flames around the hosts mouth, a set of sharp teeth form and stretch out in an almost manic grin. No eyes are visible beneath or in the flames, though this doesn’t seem to show a lack of sight. This form also provides a sudden, extreme weakness to ice, water and other elements excellent for dousing fire, as El’nath is vulnerable when not beneath Suhmat’s skin.

Offensively, El’nath’s fire forms into claws at the ends of Suhmat’s fingers and given the almost feral nature of the elemental, they are his primary form of attack, rushing a foe to cut and slice. This also makes his blades unusable, as the claws are too large to form a complete fist to trigger the mechanisms. The Tendrils of Arum are the only other magical ability Suhmat can wield in this state, as the vision-blurring fury is too strong to maintain any other complex spells. The tendrils remain the same in mechanical usage. At his most well-rested, Suhmat can endure the elemental’s control for about one minute, before he runs the risk of never gaining back control, and his mana reserves are extremely depleted afterwards, as El’nath has no understanding of mortal limits.
DF MQ AQW  Post #: 31
7/1/2018 16:13:14   
  Starflame13
Moderator


 Another day, another round of edits! For anyone still working on/balancing a bio, remember that you can ask any questions here, in PM, or swing by the Discord thread linked in the first post!

@TormentedDragon - Welcome and Approved!

We clarified via PM that the puppets that share bones can't be paired, but those that don't could be used simultaneously, while doing so would limit your range as they "share" sinew. Keep in mind that your bone/wire, while enchanted and tempered, won't be invincible weapons. Good luck to Oz!

@Necro-Knight - Hello hello! Suhmat is pretty well optimized, just some minor details and one edit I'd like to make.

First, can you give a bit more description on Suhmat's appearance, in particular, his armor? Does he have any protection on the upper half or is he running about Bren shirtless? I'm assuming (for fire protection) the armor is some form of enchanted metal, is it closer to plate or chain mail or something different entirely? Nothing that requires balancing, but give people a bit more to work with!

For El'nath's rampage, my biggest concern is that Suhmat retains the ability to use the Tendrils of Arum, particularly given the relatively long duration for the elemental form. One option would be to remove the ability to cast multiple spells, but there are other possibilities. Perhaps in using other spells in addition to the Rampage, his mana drains exponentiall faster to cut down on how long he can maintain multiple abilities? In general, keep aware of mana/magic usage vs. how often or how strong Suhmat makes his abilities - you don't have set amounts for how much each spell uses (apart from El'nath's Rampage), which is fine, but he should still be weakening the more fire abilities he uses.

Looking good overall, otherwise, so just take care of those and we should be good to go!
AQ DF MQ AQW  Post #: 32
7/1/2018 23:17:20   
brotherinlaw
Member

Alright, reposting. Alterations will be in red!



Name:方士, in the Common alphabet Fangshi
Age: 163
Race: Human
Class: Necromancer
Element: Wind

Appearence: Five foot nine inches tall and of a lean, if somewhat bulky build, Fangshi is of Mongoloid descent and possesses almond shaped eyes, sharp cheekbones, and a somewhat flattened nose. He is shaved bald of facial hair, head hair, and even his eyebrows. His skin is unusually tanned, almost reddish brown, due to his wandering, yet strangely lacks wrinkles or scars considering his age. In fact, the only imperfections on his skin are the tattoos on his back and forehead. Written in pure-white ink that glows under the moonlight, his back is covered in prayers to various God's and ancestors to protect him from curses and misfortune, and his forehead bears four circles in a diamond to grant him Death's sight, said to allow him to see the astral plane and those who would hide from mortal eyes, even through closed lids. His trade itself has left a mark on him as well, giving his ears a subtle point and his eye are now pure white.
He is dressed in a simple monks red with yellow trim robe that leaves his right side exposed, with sandals wrapped up his shins, loose red pants and a yellow sash (such extravagance is unusual for a monk, but laws in his homeland require it to designate his sect). While on the road, he wears a yellow cloak that covers his exposed arm and wraps under his left arm, with a simple bronze clamp holding it together above and to the right of his stomach.

Equipment:
incense rope-dart- wrapped around his waist and hidden under his sash, this incredible weapon combines a rope-dart and a small incense burner in one piece of metal. While the blessed dart makes for an unpredictable but savage weapon and the silk band it's connected to will wrap around swords rather than be cut, making it a hazard for enemies, by far the most dangerous element is the small burner directly behind the blade. Filled with certain herbs and spices, the smoke it produces has a numbing effect on the mind of most, yet focuses those acclimated to it and, most importantly, provides focus and substance to yokai spirits summoned by the necromancer, either for communication and cleansing or for combat. I altered to clarify my idea of the weapon: It is a dart with a longer handle-part that has a small cage as a single piece of metal. the cage is a more efficient burner filled with the herbs and ignited in the post-fight prep. the cage section is a third of the length of the actual dart, so should not impair the mechanics of it's use.
Ancestors Prayer necklace- a family heirloom, this necklace is strung, not with beads, but with the skulls of the last nine of Fangshi's necromancer ancestors. Each one has their birthstone in polished orbs for eyes, with each orb engraved in turn with the name of the skull in which it is set. While the ancestors possess the necklace, all of them, not just the nine skulls, lack actual power, they will sing in chorus with Fangshi as he chants his spells, magnifying the potency in the same way monks will chant in chorus to magnify it far beyond the sum of it's parts. It also bears a talisman in the very center, a piece of weathered wood said to bear The Elemental Lord of Air's true name in an extinct Elemental tongue and set with a Great Qubak feather behind so The feather's fluff makes a halo around The wood. The Necromancer hopes to a one-day present his daughter with it, with his skull replacing the oldest of the nine.
bag of o-fuda - in a small satchel on his hip, separated in four bundles of twelve, are spell talismans of wind magic, each possessing a small wooden weight at the top for throwing and an adhesive on the reverse side. The first one, upon coming in contact with the target, summons a concussive blast of non-elemental force, about equivalent to a flashbang grenade, minus the flash. The second summons a column of wind that encircles the target in wind strong enough to bend metal and hurl debris at speeds that can cause lacerations or concussions for twelve seconds, protecting them but also trapping them to that spot. The third is a healing spell, requiring five-second of contact untill healing begins and five-seconds of inactivity for healing, resulting in healed lacerations and bruises and partial healing to more severe wounds, stopping blood-loss and setting broken bones. The final allows the subject in to diffuse into the wind and allows them to traverse almost instantly seventeen feet in any direction before returning to physical form. Each spell takes a full second to activate, unless it is cut, in which case it activates instantly.The wind column has been altered to, essentially serve the same function, but to a lesser degree. Rather than throwing the individual, as you suggested, I gave it even lower wind-speeds that merely turn debris in the wind into a major hazard. your suggestion for the healing spell is perfect, I just hadn't considered that untill you said it. Finally, the movement spell now serves the exact same function, but is air based. Sorry, I should have realized that that spell was still too earth-based.
hidden dagger- hidden in a holster up his left sleeve, the simple five-inch steel triangle is commonly carried by traveling monks to avoid robbery. In his case, it makes an excellent last-defence should the enemy get into close range.

Abilities:
summon Yokai spirits- by consistently chanting, Fangshi can summon angry Yokai spirits loyal to him. While relatively intangible, they can take substance from his incense smoke to fight. Their formless bodies can claw someone, superficially scratching them but inflicting common ailments like aches, sores, headaches, coughs, and bad luck. They can also hit hard-enough to knock the wind out of someone without armor. These weak mobs will be relatively harmless to an armored warrior and disapear immediately after their specific task is completed, but can be summoned up to twenty in quick succession and are useful to keep the foe at a distance, the prime range for Fangshi's ropedart. Their screams are loud and disorienting, and they also, as moving incense smoke, will provide an ongoing impediment to the enemies' focus. So, you're saying the Elemental Championships are naturally biased to Necromancers, Summoners, and Beastmasters? I'm not being judgemental, I understand that not all games can treat all classes equally. This does complicate things, however: If I can-not keep the spirits in, this character is not a Necromancer, and I would have to completely rebuild from the bottom up. I have tried to modify this ability as much as possible, but if it is not satisfactory, I will have to make yet another character. However, your suggestion for each spirit to perform a 'specific function' was quite inspirational, and combined with the chant-based magic as opposed to spells, should work excellently! I also added the screams you suggested, since my original plan for the spirits to be a constant, mindless nuisance is kind of muddled by them no longer being constant.
Death's sight- through his forehead tattoo, Fangshi can see even with his eyes closed when he's chanting. It also allows him to see any foe that has hidden themselves in some way.
elemental and magical protection- the tattooed prayers on his back provide resistance to magic, especially luck-based magic that affects his luck or increases his enemie's. The talisman on his necklace also gives him incredible elemental wind resistance.
martial arts- as most monk sects, especially necromancer ones, have been attacked in the past, it's common for the non-pacifistic factions to develop or use a form of martial art. In Fangshi's case, he has been extensively trained in weapons like the rope-dart and knife, among others, as well as had-to-hand combat. The form he uses focuses on disabling with pressure-points, using your enemies momentum and weight against them, and disarming them with your bare hands. It's weakness is that it lacks offensive power outside of the usage of pressure points, and focuses of disabling so he can gain distance and resume use of the rope-dart and spirits. Fangshi is considered a master, as he has trained since his birth two-lifetimes ago and remains in peak physical condition.
The "become Lich" skill description was just a measure to use an undead-summoning class and not worry about it's mechanics in the Championship. Since the special ban on resurrecting contestants is in place, this will no longer be needed.


huh, other than that initial blunder, I have to say I expected to do a LOT worse! Also, thanks again for allowing me to repost the first bio. Let's just say, now that I know these things, the second one I made would have done much worse!
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 33
7/2/2018 12:50:43   
roseleaf320
Creative!


 Draft #2. Changes that affect the character in any way (moves, distances, etc) are bolded- I did also try to change my wording to prevent bunnying, more as practice for myself and a bit of a perfectionist attitude, but those changes are not bolded as they don’t actually change anything. Sorry if things got a bit long, I wanted to make sure everything was as clear as possible. Second time’s a charm? :)


Name: Bei Lún
Race: Human
Gender: Female
Age: 16
Element: Energy

Appearance: Bei has light blond hair sloppily cut at shoulder-length, seemingly by herself. She wears thin cloth with short sleeves and leather boots. She’s thin, but well fed, and a tiny bit on the short side for her age. Her eyes, both a pale shade of yellow, stay almost completely still, even as her head is moving to follow others.

History: Bei Lún was born to a family of great wealth and extreme superstition. When she was delivered, both her mother and the doctor noted strange chills, as if their own life forces were being taken away from them. Fearing the baby would bring a curse upon her and her children, but not wanting to leave it on the street, she promptly delivered the child to a distant uncle claiming that she believed it would have a better life away from the chaos of the city. The uncle accepted care of the child with the condition that the family would send a large sum of money to him each year in order to pay for her upbringing. And thus, a deal was struck.

As the child began to grow, her new guardian was quick to realize that something was indeed different about her. Her eyes never followed him, or the old shoes he gave her to chew on, or the spoons he used to try to feed her. They followed nothing at all. When she cried, the air around her would spark, and sometimes the things she bit came out of her mouth with tiny char marks on them. Each time something new happened, he bumped up his price a little bit.

It took much longer for Bei herself to realize she was different. She would overhear him talking to the neighbors-- what did he mean she couldn’t see? Of course she could see. She was in her bedroom and yet she could see the two of them right there in the doorway, it couldn’t be any more obvious. Why was the man across the street so confused as to why he was coughing? Couldn’t he see his fever? But the thing that perplexed her the most was writing. What was the point of it? She could see the designs Uncle made with his quill, but they only lasted a moment before they disappeared. Why would he go and give that paper to someone else? That’s what first tipped her off. What defined his words? His sight wasn’t her sight. He could still see the designs. But he couldn’t see past walls, and he couldn’t see that his neighbor was sick. And he definitely couldn’t move the things he saw without going up and actually touching them. There was a whole level of his world that she couldn’t reach, and yet he couldn’t reach hers, either. What were the philosophical implications of that? But more importantly, did this mean she was the only one that could see the pretty colors that a storm made?

She tried to show her uncle the amazing world that he was missing out on. She would spend hours outside, making rainbows of color, using the world she saw to concentrate the air into beautiful designs. But he never understood. He looked on from inside, seeing only white sparks, feeling an occasional chill or wave of heat, and shrugged, slinking off to write another note to what she’d figured out were her parents. Did they leave her because they, too, couldn’t see this wonderful world she lived in? She wished with all of her heart that there was a way she could show them. She asked everyone she could, trying to figure out the words to say to at least make them understand. She figured out which words were different to her than they were to others, and which were the same. She learned that she could see “energy” and “heat” and learned what those words really meant. But no words she found could express that sight, not really. No one else could see it. Could know it. She was alone.

But then she overheard a conversation in the cottage next door, about a competition that could grant a wish. Her questions changed focus, from science and psychology to the competition. And soon after that, from the competition to fighting. She learned hand-to-hand combat, how to protect herself. She learned how to render a man unconscious with only a few well-placed strikes. But on her own, she also learned how to use her sight, and her special powers, against others. Surely if anyone could understand her world of energy and be impressed by it, it would be the elemental lord of energy himself. And then, if he was impressed by her, she’d finally be able to show her family exactly how beautiful the world around them really was.

Personality: To others, Bei could be summed up as an incredibly smart and curious young girl that sees the best in the world. Her unconscious, though, is a constant warzone. Her parents’ abandonment, her uncle’s disinterest, and her blindness have caused her to become both a girl that was forced to grow up too fast and a girl that never grew up at all. She has a much greater intellect than the average young adult, knowing and understanding facts about science, anatomy, and language that many grown adults cannot fully grasp. She can be incredibly philosophical at times, asking serious questions and debating answers about the meaning of life, words, perception, and morality. And yet, her psyche yearns for the simplicity and joy of a childhood she never got, and many of her words and behaviors reveal a maturity that at times is much lower than it should be for her age. Many of her philosophical contemplations are eventually brushed off by incredibly childish fascinations and dismissals, and she entertains many childish ideals and fantasies. Her main joy in life is a complete fascination for the “colors” she sees in her own world, much as a child is completely enthralled by fireworks or light shows. This conflict between child and adult controls her entire psyche, and even shows itself in her combat abilities: while she is intensely knowledgeable and skilled, she does not have complete control over herself and can sometimes even create things without knowing it. Bei Lún is her own paradox, a puzzle not even she herself can figure out. Although, can you expect anyone to figure out a puzzle without seeing the pieces? She is blind, after all.


Abilities:
Heat Sight: Bei is able to, much like an infrared camera, sense heat and the lack thereof. Because she is blind, she uses this as her “sight,” and though the most obvious use of this is identification of living things, slight differences in heat in the world around her (due mostly to different materials) allow her to form a pretty accurate concept of her surroundings. This kind of sight is not blocked by walls or other obstacles, but does get obscured and requires more focus the further away objects get from her. So, her awareness of the environment about 25 feet in radius around her is extremely high, but as she tries to look further from that she requires more focus accordingly, and it is incredibly hard for her to accurately see the environment more than 50 feet away from her.

Heat Manipulation:
Bei is also able to manipulate the heat around her, creating what she sees as a world of beautiful colors and designs at her own fancy. While there is plenty of heat in the air, living things are typically a much more efficient source of heat. She draws heat from her own self to move at will: her own body heat is slightly higher than a normal human, and she can survive with a much lower body temperature. However, if this low temperature becomes prolonged she will start to suffer from hypothermia as normal.
Bei can also move and concentrate heat from the air and any objects in a 25 foot radius around her. She may stop and start this movement at will, even if she has not gotten to the amount of heat needed for an intended attack. If she cancels a move while the heat is gathering, it will start to drain away from where she moved it and attempt to equalize the heat of the environment, eventually dispersing back to its starting place.

Color Burst: Bei expels heat from her body in a quick burst. This can either be concentrated, as a small burst coming out of her hand, or a larger burst centered around her body (about five feet in radius). This is done with a force that pushes people about ten feet away from her, although heavier people are able to resist this and cut it down to about five feet.

Paint Refill!: Bei slowly saps heat from other people to restore it to her own body. The ONLY time she can take heat from living things is in this way, and only heat from living things can be used to restore her own body temperature. This can only be done when her own temperature is lower than normal, and cannot be done if another effect is actively draining her own body heat (like Sparkle Storm). She cannot drop people’s heat to a point where they would suffer extreme hypothermia: the worst symptoms anyone can suffer from her taking their heat are those associated with a high, but not medically alarming, fever (chills and heat flashes, shivering, general weakness and tiredness, slight trouble breathing, etc). Over time, the opponent’s body heat is naturally restored by the air around them. As such, the more heat Bei wants to take from a person, the longer it will take for her to get that amount. Note: the section detailing the limits of taking heat from other living things was moved here from the “Heat Manipulation” section as this is now the only place it is relevant.

Lightning Creation:
Bei can concentrate large amounts of heat to create lightning. This heat, depending on the move, can be drawn from herself or the air around her but requires time to gather.

Zap!: Bei fires a single, honed bolt of lightning at an opponent, starting from her hand, with a maximum range of 25 feet. The heat needed for this is able to be drawn from either the air or her body. If she uses heat from her body, it is already much more concentrated, thus lowering the charge time to about five seconds. If she tries to use heat from the air around her, it takes time to gather and thus lengthens her cast time, the extent of this change depending on the arena’s environment. The bolt damages and may surprise the target, leaving an ache or burning sensation that could last several minutes, but this damage is not even a fraction of the amount of devastation a real-life lightning bolt causes, as the heat Bei generates for it is much much less than that created by the electron-transfer in a storm. If this bolt targets an arm or hand, it should cause the opponent hit to drop anything metal they are holding. It also creates a clap of thunder, which may interrupt spellcasting in a 30 foot radius if the casters are not devoting much concentration to their spells.

Paint Splatter: Bei creates a storm of sparks immediately in front of the palm of her hand, sending an opponent reeling backwards and imprinting a slight burn mark (only first degree) on their skin or armor. This is usually enough to surprise and frazzle an opponent, but not enough to create long-lasting pain. She MUST be touching an opponent for this to have any effect. This does not require a lot of heat, and is mostly used as a “panic button” if enemies get too close to her, but as she is not fully aware of what she is doing it can only be used when she is incredibly scared and has no other easy means of fighting off the attack, for example, if she is pinned down and cannot use her hands or feet to hit an opponent’s weak spots (will be elaborated on in a different section).

Sparkle Storm: If Bei is incredibly angry or scared, the area around her body (about 15 feet in radius) begins to crackle with small lightning sparks (not even a centimeter in length). Opponents that enter the charged area suffer what feels like small shocks all over their body, but are not knocked back, and thus can still attack her if they can concentrate and withstand the shocks. If they are in the area for an extended period of time their skin starts to suffer from burns. If something metal is being held by the opponent, the skin immediately holding it becomes the central target for the sparks. Thus, the skin will become burned much quicker, and the hand (or other appendage) will start to suffer muscle spasms that make it very difficult to maintain their hold on the weapon. If metal armor is worn, the opponent’s entire body will suffer from small muscle spasms, but because the sparks are more spread out, these spasms will be easier to control. The charged area drains heat from Bei’s body as well as making her quickly feel emotionally and physically drained, and thus fades in about fifteen to twenty seconds. After this, Bei will no longer feel scared or angry, but instead very tired, potentially causing her other attacks to be slower and less focused.
Bei can create a similar effect willingly, draining a smaller amount of heat to maintain a storm with a radius of 10 feet, and a lesser effect. Opponents find it much easier to concentrate despite shocks, and can maintain easier control over any spasms. Bei can only start this when her heat is normal, and it will go 20 seconds before it is forcefully shut off and Bei has to begin restoring heat to herself. No other heat or lightning attack can be used while this is active, though she can turn it off willingly before the 20 seconds are over.

Overload: Bei is confident she can impress her elemental lord without killing, and on the contrary believes that finding a way to win while still leaving others alive would be MORE impressive. If an opponent is knocked unconscious, she can channel her body heat and the heat around her to send electrical shocks through the opponent’s body, overloading their neurons and rendering them unable to move while still allowing essential system communications to regulate functions such as breathing and heart rate. This effect lasts half an hour and the opponent stays unconscious for that time, before movement is slowly regained over the course of an extra fifteen minutes. After that, the effect fades completely with no long-term repercussions. This essentially takes an opponent out of the competition that round while protecting them from any life-long damage (or death).

Weak Spots: During her time training for the EC, Bei taught herself a specialized style of hand-to-hand combat focusing on taking advantage of her small figure and agility. She knows many human pressure points and focuses on hitting them in a way that will render an opponent weak or useless, though it will take multiple attacks in the same spot to have such a major effect. Against humanoids, these pressure points will tend to be the same, but when facing something incredibly different she will try to apply her current knowledge and may end up guessing horribly wrong. Each attack she does she can choose to infuse with a small amount of electricity in order to do a very small bit of extra damage and phase or confuse the opponent. She can also choose to drain a small amount of heat specifically from the spot she hits for the same effect, but she cannot reliably maintain both effects at the same time. Most common targets: jaw, voicebox, inside of elbow, armpit, or knee, back of the ankle (Achilles’ heel), and wrist.

Equipment:

Rainbow Wire: Bei carries a metal wire about five feet in length, loosely wound around her wrist. She can channel a low amount of heat through this wire or cause it to crackle. Both of these effects can cause burning or nerve damage if prolonged, but if the wire only makes contact for a second or two the effects only really startle them. The wire itself is not sharp, but is incredibly durable, and will still cause bleeding if it digs into skin. Bei uses this wire both to block attacks from weapons and to quickly bind an opponent (would typically take three seconds if the opponent is not struggling at all, which is unlikely), making it much easier for her to pin them down and enable her Overload attack. Although it is incredibly durable, it will still melt if exposed to intense heat (much greater than what Bei channels through it) or if it is forcefully broken either by someone with extreme strength or repeated sword strikes. If the strikes are in the same place, it will take less (maybe 3) in order to break it, but if they are spread throughout the wire it will require more (situational, maybe 5-7).

Paint-Balls!: Bei carries, tied to a belt around her waist, a bag of two dozen incredibly dense metal balls, about a centimeter in diameter. She can choose to either charge these with electrical shocks, or heat the metal until it’s just below its melting point. If a charged ball hits an enemy, it creates small muscle spasms at the impact point for about two seconds. If Bei is able to hit a pressure point with a charged ball, it will cause the associated area to go completely limp for one second. If it hits the middle of the wrist, for example, the hand will go limp long enough for an opponent to drop what they are holding, but short enough that they can quickly pick it back up or use their hand to make a different action.She also has the option of channeling heat into the balls, making it so they are still held in one piece as they are thrown but they will change shape if hit (think like a blacksmith crafting a sword). If a heated ball hits another person(or anything else), then it will flatten considerably, creating a burn, and will need to be knocked or pulled off unless the surface they hit is angled forward, in which case gravity will naturally make it fall.
These balls (no matter their heat or charge) can fly for about 50 feet before they drop to the ground, but her aim is only reliable for about 40 feet. If she tries to throw a ball at something further away than that, she likely will not only miss the body part she was aiming for, but the person entirely. At 20 feet she can reliably hit a general limb or area provided she is not distracted or interrupted by something, and at 10 if not distracted she can reliably hit a specific pressure point (though it is unlikely that, at this distance, small metal balls will be her best option for attack or defense).

Last Resort: Although Bei is very reluctant to kill, she knows there may come a time when she has to choose that over dying. Under the sleeve of her right hand, she has tied a small, yet incredibly sharp dagger. She believes that the use of a physical blade is a show of her own weakness and inability to use her own special skills and knowledge, and so has vowed to use the dagger only if she absolutely needs to kill to protect her own life. In order for the dagger to actually get into an opponent’s body, it must only have to go through skin or incredibly light cloth, and her right hand and arm must be completely free to move. Because of the panic, fear, and shame behind this use, if the dagger enters an opponent’s body, all of Bei’s own body heat will be almost instantaneously channeled through it, resulting in an electrical shock strong enough to cause complete shutdown of organs, muscles, and other tissues directly surrounding the dagger.
If the dagger pierces an organ essential to immediate survival, such as the heart or spinal cord, this most likely results in almost instant death. If Bei hits the torso/chest area but does not puncture an essential organ, the shock itself cannot kill, but will most likely cause some kind of paralysis or organ malfunction that is not immediately life-threatening (the dagger is still a normal dagger, and opponents can still die from blood loss, though this is much slower and easier to prevent). In these situations, the force of the shock is likely to knock the opponent unconscious. This state can last only a millisecond, or much longer than that depending on the opponent’s size, strength, resistance to the attack, and other similar factors. If Bei hits an outer limb, it does something similar, most likely overloading the neurons around it and resulting in paralysis of the body parts below that strike. This may be enough to cause brief unconsciousness, but has much harder conditions in order to do so (opponent must be extremely weak or small, etc.) After this, though, whether her opponent is dead or not, the sudden exertion, heat loss, and emotional strain will cause Bei to collapse, shivering uncontrollably, hyperventilating, and vomiting. In this state, the only thing she can do to defend herself is swing her dagger around chaotically and kick or push at others to try to keep them away from her. This will last for 30 seconds as she regains her heat, and after that she will slowly begin to recover more of her defenses and concentration. Although she has a chance of being able to concentrate enough, and being lucky enough, to survive the rest of the round, she will become permanently traumatized by the event, and will decide she will die before she ever again attacks another with the intent to kill. While she might feel the need to use the dagger again to force herself out of an uncontrollable situation, she will aim explicitly for outer limbs, and as she feels she has more control over herself and is more determined to keep the opponent alive, the panic-shock will not come with it. It becomes a normal dagger.




Post #: 34
7/2/2018 20:56:48   
  Starflame13
Moderator


 Some elements are filling out nicely, and some still look a bit lonely. Keep posting bios, everyone!

@brotherinlaw - First, I want to address your concern about needing to make another character. I think there's been some miscommunication - the Elemental Championships do not require that you select a specific class, and for those that do define their characters as such, the classes do not need to conform to the abilities they would have in the AEF universe. We have had people enter necromancers in the past who used abilities other than summoning undead, and still preformed admirably. Summons are not against the rules, and can work great for single attack, but they must not cross into becoming multiple characters. They CANNOT act autonomously (i.e., react independently to their environment or preform more than the most basic of commands) and they cannot impact the flow of battle for your character (i.e., serve as a lookout or deflect attacks). The way most Summoners balance this is by having singular summons that can only preform a specific action. That said, due to the nature of the ECs, it is encouraged to enter a characters who's abilities you are ok with being adjusted, altered, or even removed completely as necessary to ensure a balanced competition. I am happy to work with you to balance Fangshi, even with him using summons, but it is perfectly ok to start over with a new character if you do not want to change him as significantly as is needed.

Back to balancing! Thank you for the clarification on your Rope Dart. Since this is going to result in a very small incense burner to not impair the mechanics, it will likely take several seconds of being near enough to the burner for the smoke to begin to affect them, and longer still to make a significant difference. In addition, I'm assuming since you stated the dart is "blessed" that the rope is magically enchanted such that it will not be cut by swords. This is ok, but note that it can still be damaged/destroyed but other magical attacks (or even just regular fire). Neither of these need to be edited in, just something for you to be aware of!

For the Bag of O-Fuda, these are mostly good. I noticed that you confirmed the healing in the red notes rather than editing it in under the spell itself, so make sure you either keep those notes or do edit in the clarification for the next round. The wind column is better, thank you! Keep in mind that opponents may still try to escape, which will result in a well protected opponent taking minor injuries, and a less-protected opponent taking severe ones. Given that I'm assuming Fangshai will be invulnerable while under the effects of the fourth talisman (diffused into wind), it has a bit of a long range. For near-instantaneous and invulnerable movement, I would limit this to 10 feet. If you want to keep a longer distance, either slow down the travel, or make it such that he remains solid (and can be injured) while doing so.

Now, summoning the Yokai Spirits. These can be kept as summons, but are going to need a few more limitations. For starters, 20 spirits at once (or even 20 right after each other) is too many. Since they're summoned by taking form in incense smoke, perhaps we can use the amount of smoke to limit how many you can have up (for example, you can have one human-sized spirit or two half-human sized spirits or three cat-sized spirits). Regardless, I'm going to set the maximum number you can have active at one time as 3 if they're relatively small and 1 if it's large, and you will need to wait for your incense burner to emit more smoke between summons. The function you have (charge an enemy and attempt to claw them or run into them) does work great! If you end up going with having multiple, smaller summons, I could see it working to have them all either rush the same target or rush 2-3 separate ones, as well. That said, they should also disappear after a certain amount of time even if they don't accomplish their task, just in case you have an opponent who can avoid them for long enough. This can either be a timed duration or after a couple of attempts to make contact. In addition, since the Yokai can inflict aches/sores/coughs, the smoke they are formed of should not retain its mind-numbing properties (you can also flip this if you prefer). Lastly, the ailments inflicted by them should be temporary - perhaps they last longer the more times they are hit by a spirit, or perhaps they're barely noticeable at the first strike and become worse on repeated hits?

Lastly, I would like to clarify if summoning the spirits and Death's Sight require different chants! If they can occur simultaneously, then one (or both) of the abilities will have to be weakened.

Thank you for the progress you have already made with Fangshi, but he still has a bit to go!

@roseleaf320 - Second times the charm indeed! We clarified via PM that for Paint Refill (i.e., taking energy from living creatures) that this would weaken near the end of the 25 foot range, so that those on the outer edge of the range won't feel a significant difference, but those who remain close to her for too long will start nearing the fever point you described. Remember to keep in mind the balance of absorbing heat vs. expelling it, and you should be good to go. Approved!
AQ DF MQ AQW  Post #: 35
7/2/2018 21:49:40   
brotherinlaw
Member

Thank you for your considerations, and as long as you allow the summons, I have no issue working on this character. I'm a bit of a dork that way; I can change the mechanics of a character all day long, but if I have to change the lore aspects, then I have to make a new character!
And yes, lonely indeed, not that I'm complaining! The under-represented factions have their own benefits. For instance, it's rather fun to be quite literally forced out of your own element!


Name:•ûŽm, in the Common alphabet Fangshi
Age: 163
Race: Human
Class: Necromancer
Element: Wind

Appearence: Five foot nine inches tall and of a lean, if somewhat bulky build, Fangshi is of Mongoloid descent and possesses almond shaped eyes, sharp cheekbones, and a somewhat flattened nose. He is shaved bald of facial hair, head hair, and even his eyebrows. His skin is unusually tanned, almost reddish brown, due to his wandering, yet strangely lacks wrinkles or scars considering his age. In fact, the only imperfections on his skin are the tattoos on his back and forehead. Written in pure-white ink that glows under the moonlight, his back is covered in prayers to various God's and ancestors to protect him from curses and misfortune, and his forehead bears four circles in a diamond to grant him Death's sight, said to allow him to see the astral plane and those who would hide from mortal eyes, even through closed lids. His trade itself has left a mark on him as well, giving his ears a subtle point and his eye are now pure white.
He is dressed in a simple monks red with yellow trim robe that leaves his right side exposed, with sandals wrapped up his shins, loose red pants and a yellow sash (such extravagance is unusual for a monk, but laws in his homeland require it to designate his sect). While on the road, he wears a yellow cloak that covers his exposed arm and wraps under his left arm, with a simple bronze clamp holding it together above and to the right of his stomach.

Equipment:
incense rope-dart- wrapped around his waist and hidden under his sash, this incredible weapon combines a rope-dart and a small incense burner in one piece of metal. While the blessed dart makes for an unpredictable but savage weapon, dealing equal damage to the living, undead, and intangible alike, and the silk band it's connected to will wrap around swords rather than be cut, making it a hazard for enemies, by far the most dangerous element is the small burner directly behind the blade. Filled with certain herbs and spices, the smoke it produces has a numbing effect on the mind of most, yet focuses those acclimated to it and, most importantly, provides focus and substance to yokai spirits summoned by the necromancer, either for communication and cleansing or for combatRather than an alteration, this appears to require clarification. The dart, not the silken band, is enchanted, asn I have clarified that in the post. The 'rope' is merely a thin strip of silk, a traditional tether for the ropedart. being the original bulletproof/knifeproof material, it is physics, not enchantment, that make it almost impossible to cut.
Ancestors Prayer necklace- a family heirloom, this necklace is strung, not with beads, but with the skulls of the last nine of Fangshi's necromancer ancestors. Each one has their birthstone in polished orbs for eyes, with each orb engraved in turn with the name of the skull in which it is set. While the ancestors possess the necklace, all of them, not just the nine skulls, lack actual power, they will sing in chorus with Fangshi as he chants his spells, magnifying the potency in the same way monks will chant in chorus to magnify it far beyond the sum of it's parts. It also bears a talisman in the very center, a piece of weathered wood said to bear The Elemental Lord of Air's true name in an extinct Elemental tongue and set with a Great Qubak feather behind so The feather's fluff makes a halo around The wood. The Necromancer hopes to a one-day present his daughter with it, with his skull replacing the oldest of the nine.
bag of o-fuda - in a small satchel on his hip, separated in four bundles of twelve, are spell talismans of wind magic, each possessing a small wooden weight at the top for throwing and an adhesive on the reverse side. The first one, upon coming in contact with the target, summons a concussive blast of non-elemental force, about equivalent to a flashbang grenade, minus the flash. The second summons a column of wind that encircles the target in wind strong enough to bend metal and hurl debris at speeds that can cause lacerations or concussions for twelve seconds, protecting them but also trapping them to that spot. The third is a healing spell, requiring five-second of contact untill healing begins and five-seconds of inactivity for healing, resulting in healed lacerations and bruises and partial healing to more severe wounds, stopping blood-loss and setting broken bones. The final allows the subject in to diffuse into the wind and allows them to traverse almost instantly ten feet in any direction before returning to physical form. Each spell takes a full second to activate, unless it is cut, in which case it activates instantly.per your suggestion, the range of the teleport is reduced to ten feet.
hidden dagger- hidden in a holster up his left sleeve, the simple five-inch steel triangle is commonly carried by traveling monks to avoid robbery. In his case, it makes an excellent last-defence should the enemy get into close range.

Abilities:
summon Yokai spirits- by consistently chanting, Fangshi can summon angry Yokai spirits loyal to him. While relatively intangible, they can take substance from his incense smoke to fight. Their formless bodies can claw someone, superficially scratching them but inflicting common ailments like aches, sores, headaches, coughs, and bad luck, starting minor but possessing a cumulative effect. They can also hit hard-enough to knock the wind out of someone without armor. These weak mobs will be relatively harmless to an armored warrior and disapear immediately after their specific task is completed or has been attempted thrice and failed, but three can be summoned at once in quick succession and are useful to keep the foe at a distance, the prime range for Fangshi's ropedart. Their screams are loud and disorienting, and they also, as moving incense smoke, will disperse upon their task's end and provide an ongoing impediment to the enemies' focus. I have lowered the summon-rate, further limited their functionality and the effects of their claws, and removed the effectiveness of the mist of their bodies until dispersion (I originally planned this due to intangibility, until your comments made me realize how dumb it would be to give my body-shields so little physical form...
Death's sight- through his forehead tattoo, Fangshi can see even with his eyes closed as he's chanting. It also allows him to see any foe before his eyes that has hidden themselves in some way. This had been intended as a passive ability, I fixed the grammatical issue that originated the confusion, as well as the issue that made it look like a all-seeing ability. He can only see what is right in-front of his eyes, even if they're closed.
elemental and magical protection- the tattooed prayers on his back provide resistance to magic, especially luck-based magic that affects his luck or increases his enemie's. The talisman on his necklace also gives him incredible elemental wind resistance.
martial arts- as most monk sects, especially necromancer ones, have been attacked in the past, it's common for the non-pacifistic factions to develop or use a form of martial art. In Fangshi's case, he has been extensively trained in weapons like the rope-dart and knife, among others, as well as had-to-hand combat. The form he uses focuses on disabling with pressure-points, using your enemies momentum and weight against them, and disarming them with your bare hands. It's weakness is that it lacks offensive power outside of the usage of pressure points, and focuses of disabling so he can gain distance and resume use of the rope-dart and spirits. Fangshi is considered a master, as he has trained since his birth two-lifetimes ago and remains in peak physical condition.
The "become Lich" skill description was just a measure to use an undead-summoning class and not worry about it's mechanics in the Championship. Since the special ban on resurrecting contestants is in place, this will no longer be needed.


Alright, and maybe we are done? *crosses fingers*
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 36
7/2/2018 21:54:24   
brotherinlaw
Member

Well, ummm…. I pushed ok instead of preview. The last note about the lich was not removed, and his name....I have literally no idea how that happened. I'm on a computer now, so it's not autocorrect. I will post a new bio after that one has been reviewed, this time WITHOUT those...issues....
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 37
7/3/2018 13:46:13   
Starstruck
Member

Name: Vir
Race: Human
Age: 20?
Element: Energy

Appearance: Moderately tall, wiry, bright blond, and VERY fidgety. Says 6'4" but is actually 6'2" and a half. Sharp features, not ugly but not handsome either, with a pronounced underbite and a pair of glittering hazel eyes. Wears a small smirk at all times, "And not much else!" as he famously adds. A pair of gauntlets made from some strange material, sturdy boots with iron decorations, and a pair of painted-on shorts for modesty's sake. Pale skin that burns easily, but he's from warm wet shady foresty climes and has never heard of Bren's infamous cloudless summer skies. Vir has been spending most of his time indoors hopping from tavern to tavern. Not hard to see why. His build is nothing like some of the pillars of muscle, bone, and metal that have been gracing the arena so far, but pleasantly lean and athletic, with well-defined abs and lean, sinuous crevices. Bright smile, but a little mischievous, and never seems to stay in one place for too long.

Belongings: A pair of iron discs, around 8" in diameter, attached to strange braided ropes of iron about 6 feet in length. The whole ensemble can be smelled from about 15 feet away; it tastes like blood in your mouth. The cables are attached to a sturdy iron belt and wrapped around his waist to keep his well-defined torso and arms visible for anybody who happens to be looking. Which is, in his mind and occasionally also in reality, usually everyone.

Inside the iron cables is a mess of thickly coiled copper wire. Where did he get that much copper? It seems prohibitively expensive. The copper is imbued with a magical connection. At the center of the discs, connected to the coil, is a thin plate of copper. Cold iron is notorious for its anti-magic properties, and the discs are certainly capable of disrupting minor curses and blocking arcane assaults on contact.

Abilities: Vir has a magnetic personality and a lightning wit, but more importantly, magnetic powers and basic energy magic. He can manipulate his own personal magnetic field to an astonishing extent. Though a little creativity can grant the illusion of telekinetic or ferrokinetic powers (particularly relating to his iron discs), the field can ONLY be sourced from Vir's body. Though the coiled copper wire and the presence of a magnetic field are more than enough to generate ample amounts of electricity, Vir has also studied some basic energy spells offhand. Not that he remembers them that well.

Spark - Oh Gods, what is this one??? This is like the most important one! Makes a little spark thingamajig, great in a pinch. Uh......TEMPESTO! No wait no. Maybe? Was there a gesture involved or something? You're saying it's not even close to TEMPESTO? WELL THEN WHICH ONE WAS TEMPESTO THEN?

Complete The Circuit - You're trying to trick me. That's not even a spell. It is? What does it even do? Give me the book, I need to see this. Huh. I shoulda read this more carefully. This one's cool. You can chain a bunch of things together and then zap the first one to zap them all. Only works once, but still!

Thunderclap - Oh this one's easy, you literally just charge it up...which, mind, can be done at ANY time and kept INDEFINITELY, crazy strong, crazy good...and then smack someone. Kaboom! They go flying! You can also clap you hands together if nobody wants to high five you, and it'll give everyone within like 10 feet a free ride away from you. Wait, how do you charge it up again? Don't you like, rub your hands or something?

Hopefully the Championships themselves go a little better than this impromptu test. Probably not. Vir isn't the studying type.

History: The brightest sparks come from the rough clash of metal on metal, and Vir's electric gleam came from a particularly brutal conflict in feudal lands. Unlike surrounding territories, who were wealthy and prosperous, the duchy of Ohm had little but the ground beneath their feet, which wasn't saying much. The tough, stony soil didn't lend itself well to farming, and though the surrounding kingdoms were rife with fantastic creatures of all kinds, Ohm was a particular exception; something about the area dampened magic and repulsed fae creatures, leading to a flourishing of surrounding territories while Ohm sank into abject poverty. It was Vir's father, a blacksmith, who discovered the incredibly rich and pure iron veins extending for miles underground, and overnight the town became the target of an endless wave of armed demands from outside kingdoms who were confident they could out-muscle the impoverished feudal lord. Though the blacksmith stood strong against the invading forces, he was not invincible, and he was struck down by a particularly cruel and powerful king's best champions, along with the duke's entire honor guard, when Vir was only eight years old. Driven mad with grief, Vir swore revenge on the cruel tyrant and fled underground.

For the next year, the mines of Ohm drew nothing from the earth except what could be carried in pockets or hidden in leather bags. Entire shipments would wheel themselves away into the darkness, and lumps of ore would be drawn to the center of the earth by some mysterious force. Sinkholes would swallow entire buildings, allowing vermin to enter and spoiling months of rations. Myths spread of spooks and haunts, and though the tyrant did his level best to maintain control over his men, the whispers of curses laid proved to be too much for him. He ventured in with a full battalion of men to scour every inch of the mines. Though each step of their progress was impeded by cave-ins and explosive sparking gas, the curse of the mines claiming man after man, somehow the tyrant escaped each disaster unharmed. Finally, Vir was captured and sentenced to death. At the last second, he managed to escape and fled the town, becoming a wandering adventurer.

From thence to adulthood, Vir tried his best to forget these tragedies and became a wandering charmer and adventurer. His boyish good looks and natural charisma came in handy when it came to scoring meals and drinks, and he soon found himself fluttering around in the social spheres of the petty nobility. He was beloved by all; half of it from his razor wit and bright, disarming smile, and half of it from his role as Decorative Attendant in the court of many a blushing noblewoman. As the sweet young child grew to a sturdy, athletic young adult, he found himself in royal demand more and more, showing off new tricks of sparkling electricity and swirling iron. His secrets somehow remained safe; when asked, he would only allow a small smirk and toss around the discs once again, as if to say "Watch and learn." No one ever did. Though he was familiar with the idea of the Elemental Championships and has even been to watch one once, Vir took no interest in gladiatorial combat and stayed safely away from the Arenas and the dangers carried therein. Nobody knows why this year is different.
DF MQ  Post #: 38
7/3/2018 22:07:09   
Necro-Knight
Member

Edit is up, new text in desert gold! :)

-----------------------------------------

Name: Suhmat

Race: Human-Elemental

Age: 27

Element:Fire

Appearance – From the desert sands of Solinsa, near the eastern coast, Suhmat has a darker skin tone and a ponytail of black hair. A thick goatee, trimmed neatly, frames his mouth and jaw. Deep emerald eyes watch over his back in Bren's streets and his thin form is filled with mostly wiry muscle and a few scars from run ins with unsightly individuals among his travels. The plates around his hips and lower stomach lay over one another, resembling a set of fish or snake scales, and the golden plates rest over a brown leather underlayer to help prevent punctures. This armor reaches to just above the kidney area. His thighs are garbed in a form-fitting set of teal/crimson wraps, meant to help prevent slicing or stabbing injuries with multiple thick cloth layers, and the boots starting at his knees reach down to his ankles. These are the same golden metallic material as the scaled "belt", and another layer of cloth wraps is in place beneath the boots that wrap fully around Suhmat's feet, as not to restrict movement with clunky plate shoes.

Backstory: Suhmat and his brother Ahujin, were born in the coastal city of Solinsa. The beautiful city was located on the western coast of their lands, with a lush forest near the east exit of the city, leading more inland and towards popular trade partners across the desert sands. Ever since its creation, Solinsian citizens were born with a natural affinity for elemental magic, as the city was established directly on the well of a ley-line and run off magic often soaked into plants, food and water supplies. This slow trickle of mana-infused, plus natural ability, eventually linked the city of Solinsa with the elements of the world and their culture began to revolve around worshipping the elements in all things.

Suhmat and his sibling were born from the burning core of the world, their gift earning them the title of “Fireborn”. This specific caste of elemental warriors was bred for a direct, visceral form of combat to defend Solinsa from whatever came out of the forest during the winter months. Ahujin, being the elder sibling, was chosen among a set of Fireborn tasked with maintaining guard along the far east border, as bandits and Beings of Night (ethereal void-esque creatures attracted to the elemental spark in Solinsians) had stepped up attacks in recent weeks.

While Ahu'jin was away, he was tasked with remaining in the city and ensuring no Beings of Night emerged from the sea during the short summer nights. The warm seasons soon turned into the coolness of Autumn, and his brother had not yet returned. The mission should’ve only taken a few days, and it had been months. Fatigued from anxiety at the loss of his brother, the young Fireborn headed out to find his brother alone and was barred by the Arcane Elders. This council were the arcane scholars of the city and lead the faith of the elements. Their wisdom was law.

Their ‘law’ was now forbidding any travel outside of the city beyond trade and supplies with armed escort. The unexplained disappearance of the finest Fireborn the city knew had set the Elders on edge, and with them, all Solinsa. Other scouts, Suhmat knew, had been sent to investigate, but had returned with nothing. No information of a struggle, no remains to recover. It was as if the sands themselves had swallowed Ahujin and his party whole. So, if the Elders and other Fireborn wouldn’t find his only family now, he would do it through his own means.

The young firetwister committed two crimes that night. The first was setting flame to a holy altar dedicated to the many elemental spirits Solinsa worshiped, and the second, was the ultimate act of disrespect. While the town was in a frenzy dealing with the burning idols, Suhmat infiltrated the Chapel of Elements, usually reserved specifically for the Elders and their communing with the lords of their world. As he knelt into the circle, enchanted with bits of every building block of nature, and gathered his will, a sense of betrayal chilled his spine. It was the job of the lords to preserve their people, and they had let his only family be taken by only the Flame knew what. He wanted to know why.

With a spark of light, the circle burned with his willpower, and the communion began. He already had a natural link to the world of fire, so sending his mind to this foreign place was not difficult. The real challenge would be reaching the ears of “Ela Nar”, as his people called the fire spirit.

“El’nar! One of your children demands an audience!”

He cried, as loud as his will would allow him, feeling his body already beginning to ache from the effort it was taking to maintain the spell. As he screamed louder and louder, he felt lesser fire spirits directed their attention to him. As he was calling out for the very heart of the furnace, none dared move without their master’s permission. After one final call, he saw the plane of fire suddenly twist and every spark of heat converged around him, like a great storm from the coast, and a booming voice sent him flying onto his back. While he’d never heard the sound before, his very soul burned in understanding. This was El’nar, He of the Flames.

“A mortal, one of my own children at that, dares to enter my realm and demand my attention? You spit upon the blessing I have bestowed upon you.”

Even with his natural endurance against extreme temperatures, Suhmat could barely form the words, as the swirling flames stole the air from his lungs, but he managed to spit through clenched teeth, “One of… your children was taken, my brother, and you have done nothing. Why… does our Father of Flame forsake us? Why?”

The storm was silent for a moment, before it replied, voice crackling like a thousand trees burning in a forest fire.

“All my children accept their gift at their conception, and understand that I shall show no aid in their existence. Fire must grow and seek its own fuel to survive. It is its own fault if something else comes along to snuff it out.”

Suhmat could hear the finality in his words. He would find so solace in this place, no compassion… only contempt. Despite his body trembling violently in the chapel, the young man’s vulnerable soul roared with fury and unleashed his own storm upon the spirit in his own realm, obscene words and curses flying from his body in pure spiteful rage. He’d barely finished the third curse before the storm suddenly snapped up and curled towards him. The force of El’nar’s wrath sent his mind reeling back into the chapel and his body flying back down the stone steps into the aisles leading to the podium. His will shattered, the communion should’ve ended, but it seemed the fire lord wasn’t quite done with him yet and maintained the spell as his flames poured from the circle, consuming the body of his heretical spawn.

“Your mortal kind have never truly respected the Fire, the true spark of life in your world. Even your sun was born of me, and now, I shall show you the cost of your disrespect! Your people shall pay, and I shall burn this rebellious humanity from you!”

Suhmat wouldn’t have been able to understand the words if they weren’t roaring in his mind, as his own voice was being screamed raw from the agony. The flames weren’t burning, they seemed to be soaking into his body, charring his soul and rearranging the ashes into something…not human. The entity roared and clawed at his mind, doing its best to take his sanity with it, but as he rolled side to side on the chapel floor, he refused to break. This “god” had let his brother die, and he would rather die himself then submit to him.
Rolling into a fetal position as his mind burned, Suhmat slowly opened his eyes at the sound of screams besides his own. Through the curved windows of the chapel, he saw his home consumed by waves of heat and fire that rippled from the chapel’s stone.

“Your people shall pay,” the voice of El’nar had said, and now he understood. The spirit wished him as a leashed dog, but his people were suffering for his mistake. Friends, his home… all of Solinsa was being consumed by a firestorm, and he was the catalyst. His fireborn-soul was keeping the firelord’s rage channeling through the chapel’s walls and into Solinsa with fatal results.

“C’mon, little brother…” a new voice said, calm and collected, almost like an icy spear through the roaring madness in his mind. “He’s not using anything new against you… We all have this monster in us, but it’s ours. Make it yours.”

Suhmat didn’t know if this was truly his brother reaching out across the great beyond, or his brain simply shattering and creating imaginary havens, but he didn’t have time to figure out which. He opened his soul to the primal fire and felt the strength permeate his being. His skin glowing like someone had lit a bonfire beneath his flesh, he was only able to push one single thought through the cacophony of crackling laughter sweeping through his psyche; Destroy.

It didn’t take long. The chapel was old stone and wood, older than the city itself, and with the beast driving him forward, the structure began to buckle and collapse around him. Tears of molten rock fell down his cheeks as he tore the once-holy place apart, screams from his home echoing through the streets. He’d never wanted this, to hurt anyone, but he could try to make it right before the end came for him. As he dug molten claws into the Elemental Circle now, and dug through the enchanted stone like an animal, the spell finally broke and unleashed a backfire of arcane power that shattered the roof and sent Suhmat flying over the city wall, where he landed a few yards out in the dunes. Cut off from its home, the fire beast in his soul subsided after bracing his body from the impact and darkness finally took him.

Awaking to soft patter of rain against his bare chest, Suhmat found his home reduced to a blackened ruin. No one was left on the streets, and no buildings remained standing. Within a matter of a few minutes, the firelord had left him the sole survivor of a ghost town. As he sat down upon a stone bench, dread and cold rain alike soaking into his bones, a half-charred parchment caught in the wind swept up and plastered itself across his chest. Suhmat half-expected the paper to be simply a price for fruits or transport from the coast, but instead he found an elegantly written flier, the penmanship not local to Solinsa. It spoke of a great tournament in the arriving weeks, birthed by beings beyond mortal comprehension, and the ultimate reward; the right to wish anything from such beings. The location was the city of Bren, only a few city hops away, if he found a caraven at the first stop. Fresh tears made it impossible to see and he stood, the rain almost feeling refreshing now as his delirious laughter echoed through his charred city. He could right his wrong. He could save his people.


Equipment

• Scorpion’s Sting armblades – Steel arm blades purchased along the way with gold salvaged from the ruins of Solinsa, the Scorpion’s Sting weapons featured a strong metal bracer that covered the entire forearm of the wearer, and featured a double-blade mechanic. Pressing the palm trigger closest to his thumb, Suhmat can extend the 1.5-foot-long-blades over the top of his wrists, and used the blades in a natural, dual-wielding style. Pressing the trigger nearest the underside of his hand with his pinky and ring finger, extends the blades at the opposite end of the bracer, out towards past elbows. Only one set of blades, either forward or back, can be extended at a time on the same gauntlet.
With another deposit of gold, Suhmat had taken the weapons to the next town on his way towards Bren and spoke to the local enchantress, blessing the blades to keep them from melting when he brought his fire to bear and giving them the ability to dispel low-tier magics that impacted the metal bracers along his arms, such as foreign fire or other elemental spells. Given his lack of armor, she had implored he take the extra defense.

• Fireborn Warrior armor – While his torso was completely unarmored, to help his firesoul breath for his magics, Suhmat had collected bits of armor that had not been completely ruined from Solinsa’s firestorm and had them repaired while his blades were being enchanted. This armor, forged by Fireborn themselves, was especially resistant to flame and intense heat, keeping a warrior protected while they burned hot in battle. The armor along his lower stomach and legs was a strong golden color, while the layers of leather and cloth were a mix of red and deep teal, adding a regal design to his appearance.

Abilities

• Volcanic blood – Where most Fireborn preferred sticking to the more swift and versatile flames, Suhmat had branched out and sharpened his skills with lava as well. His most direct attack, he can summon an orb of the dripping, searing substance and send it hurtling towards a target. Due to the incredible density of the substance, the maximum range before gravity takes over is roughly 20 feet.

• Efreet’s core - Suhmat inhales briefly, before expelling an eruption of flame that fades into thick smoke from his lungs in a 10-foot cone out from his current position. The burning breath lasts until he empties his lungs, usually around seven to eight seconds

• Skin of Am-het – Using a similar technique to his volcanic blood spell, Suhmat can coat his torso and shoulders with a layer about two inches thick in lava, using it to dull or melt a weapon not enchanted to either resist the intense heat before it reaches his skin, or carrying enough blunt force to carry through the ‘armor’ layer.

• Tendrils of Arum – Extending his arms, the Fireborn can extend whip-like formations of fire (reaching about 10 feet in length) from his arms and wield them for ranged harassment of a target. While extremely hot and able to be snapped in and out rather rapidly, the tendrils cannot grip or wrap around an object.

At the cost of more intense focus and 5 feet of range, Suhmat can form tendrils of lava very similar to the tendrils of Arum, and interact with objects physically or strike with a more intense, weighted blow.

• Moderately enhanced strength – While his physical capabilities weren’t enhanced before his cataclysmic event in Solinsa, his elemental side has granted him strength about fifteen prcent higher than that of a normal man his size. While not enough to tear armor or snap blades, the strength would be enough to attempt to overpower an equal-sized opponent through force alone, without magic entering the confrontation.

• El’nath’s Rampage – If truly fearing for his future existence, Suhmat can once again accept the Elemental, now named El’nath, and temporarily let it have control of his form. Only having done this once before, he only truly experienced the rabid fury from the inside, but outside doing so bathes his torso and arms in a bright fire that is hot, but not enough to provide defense like the Skin of Am-het. In the flames around the hosts mouth, a set of sharp teeth form and stretch out in an almost manic grin. No eyes are visible beneath or in the flames, though this doesn’t seem to show a lack of sight. This form also provides a sudden, extreme weakness to ice, water and other elements excellent for dousing fire, as El’nath is vulnerable when not beneath Suhmat’s skin.

Offensively, El’nath’s fire forms into claws at the ends of Suhmat’s fingers and given the almost feral nature of the elemental, they are his primary form of attack, rushing a foe to cut and slice. This also makes his blades unusable, as the claws are too large to form a complete fist to trigger the mechanisms, and the mana usage to maintain its pure elemental form is too extreme to direct any other spells. As El'nath's pyromania urges them forward, the combined form also provides a rough agility boost, around ten percent higher than usual and helps with either closing distances or avoiding with greater reflexes. At his most well-rested, Suhmat can endure the elemental’s control for about one minute, before he runs the risk of never gaining back control, and his mana reserves are extremely depleted afterwards, as El’nath has no understanding of mortal limits.
DF MQ AQW  Post #: 39
7/3/2018 22:28:05   
  Starflame13
Moderator


 Another day and things seem to be shaping up well! Keep up the good work!

@brotherinlaw - We're definitely getting closer! You've applied some of my feedback well and not made any reference to other parts, but there's the potential that some of that got lost in the accidental post. Please make sure to fully read all comments, and don't hesitate to post or PM to ask questions!

First, your Rope Dart. While it is indeed very hard to cut a loose silk band that can bend and flex the way a rope dart is traditionally used, it is possible to cut a silk band pulled taught. Silk is durable, yes, but not invincible, and an opponent with one blade trapped may be able to pull the cord tight enough for it to be sliced through with another blade. This does not require any further edits, but you should be aware of this, and be prepared to work closely with your opponents.

Again, I noticed you did not confirm that a healing talisman got used up if it was interrupted in the ability itself. Please do so, so that people looking back at bios need to only look at the most recent one. The rest of the Bag of O-Fuda looks good!

Yokai Spirits is much more workable now, thank you! Two points remaining: first, you have not specified a maximum size for these spirits. If you're set on being able to have 3 active at once, I would put the absolute maximum of this to be half of Fangshi's size. Second, you don't have anything to refer to how long it takes between sets of summons. While this does not need a set time limit, you should at least specify that it will take a fair amount of time after summoning 3 spirits in quick succession for enough smoke to form in order for you to do this again. You should not be able to abuse the ability to summon spirits.

Lastly, Death's Sight is too powerful of an ability to use as a passive. There are two potential solutions: Either you can have the chants be separate so that Fangshi can either summon spirits OR use Death's Sight, or you can weaken Death's Sight in some way. A possibility for this would be that Fangshi might be able to sense a 5-foot space where someone might be hiding, but not able to pinpoint their exact location.

Get the new bio up with those corrections, as well as anything that was missed due to the accidental post!

@Starstruck - Good to see that you made it back this year! Let's take a look at Vir.

While I love the humor behind the ability descriptions, and they do a good job in communicating how unfamiliar Vir is with his own abilities, I do need more concrete descriptions in order to balance abilities. Keeping these descriptions for the in-character explanations is great, but at the barest minimum I need you to add what a full-powered, fully controlled version of what these abilities can do. In combat, you can make abilities less powerful or less well-executed than their hard descriptions, but the initial hard descriptions are necessary to determine if anything is too powerful or too complex. At the least, an immensely powerful and indefinitely long ability like Thunderclap is meant to be will likely be too strong.

Also, as the many inns and establishments of Bren state, "No shirt, no shoes, no service." While some characters have been known to run around shirtless, and skin-tight shorts are a valid stylistic (but maybe not protective) clothing option, clothes are required. Please clarify how much clothing that Vir is wearing.

Feel free to ask around if you need help brainstorming concrete limitations to the abilities, and looking forward to seeing the next version!

@Necro-Knight - Approved! Thanks for making the needed edits/clarifications, and good luck to Suhmat!
AQ DF MQ AQW  Post #: 40
7/5/2018 1:11:36   
Sanctus
Member

Name: Sanctus- Pawn of Order
Race: Human
Age: Unknown
Element: Light

Bio:
The war reached far, unsatisfied with anything less than a grand scale, and a boy was handed a sword and told he’d be a hero by playing the pawn. The battlefield had little use for either, and what order could be kept threatened to kill. Many found refuge in the cults hidden amongst the legions, as soldiers prayed to lords and gods, in the hope that their particular vision of war would decide to spare them a part in the larger prayer. But before their gods could yet speak, the orders arrived. They accepted their role, and charged forth into the fray, doing what pawns did best, and building their gods a stairway from which they could descend.

The boy suffocated in his armor, as chain-mail pricked skin, the promise glinting at his side, itself promising to break. But still he rested his hand on its hilt, looking for safety in the metal as he searched the legion for a cult of his own and a lord to follow. But my gaze found him first.

An officer stood amongst his men, a delicate mask hiding his features, and called forth their ear. He spoke of an order to things, a power lost from this land, as its enemy corrupted by touch, by mind, its grasping tendrils and narrow eye looking for others to look back. He said he was the last priest of his order, and served the fourth most ancient element, the answer to the first, whose form was light’s response to the dark, revealing the broiling chaos hidden beneath. With that he looked past his men, the sightless mask staring at the child who sought to join them.

The boy suffocated again, air choked with dirt and smoke and the last breaths of the dead. His chest heaved, straining against the weight of his promises. This time he’d been promised an order to things, but all that could be seen wasn’t worth the memories. Still they remained, jagged images of flesh wrought asunder. He stumbled amidst the bodies until he found his lord, amongst his men once more.

A god looked out from the stairway which was really a chain not shaped as one. A wound stained his view, and the god shuddered, for he knew the truth behind inhuman shape. Hand clutched at his side, he wondered whether the cold he felt was familiarity or dread. Would not Death welcome him as a brother? Or had his eternal sojourn made him a stranger by now? Looking past the wound he pondered yet more at the blood. It was hardly the ichor of legend, but then again, only fools wished for divinity as they died. Crimson, gold, the life still fled. He’d chosen poorly by championing a man that wished all could be. He’d forgotten the only piece he could play to match a Queen, to recognize the game for what it was. Then his old friend laughed, clearing his vision and mocking his sight. The order once again proved to be otherwise, as I gazed back into the stairway.

Gloved hands alighted my shoulders, their quiet contemplation gripped by fervor, wrapping around my throat, tensing, strangling, and in my shock I could only stare and die. Yet suddenly, relief, and not only mine.The hands slacked, turning inward, pausing at his face, the mask pristine amidst it all, prim and proper, sinful light in a temple built on reddened flesh. They hovered there, still and steady even as the ragged breaths of the man beneath trembled all else. This was a final act, until too, his arms slumped by his side, and I was stilled.

To think then, that after all this pain, my first moments were delicate, full of light. Purpose was placed above the suffering. Had his last words echoed from his voice or mine? The when of it escaped me, dreamlike, but even in their feverish remembrance I knew it was true. I said there was an order to things. And it demanded a game to decide whose order it would be. The game was hers, the Queen, so already she commanded the board. She had laughed at the pieces I chose to play, putting my trust and my power in Pawns. Insisted her way was the natural order, that chaos birthed everything, and try as they might to hide it, only monsters would dwell in the world. I had faith though, just as faith always found what pieces were left of me. I was sightless, but my vision would be, will be, must be. I’d cross the board, find a way. There would be peace. There was an order to things. And it would be mine.

Appearance: Sanctus- Courtesy of Bido

Equipment: Sanctus carries only a minorly enchanted short sword, ceremonial in its design, but practical in its use. Instead of armor, the Pawn is garbed in an officer’s dress uniform, seemingly enchanted to give minor resistance to magical attacks. The uniform bears some resemblance to Paladins of yore, the symbol of the Blinding Light atop his cap.

Skills: An experienced swordsman, this officer has survived many a war in service to his Lord. Despite his decorative dress, Sanctus practices combat like any trench-bred soldier, with familiar precision and blunt efficiency.


Abilities:

Order- Sanctus’ reserves do not rely on magic, but order. Order is gained by meeting the purpose requirements of his actions and equipment, expending/increasing depending on the form utilized. All forms can also *optionally* take on the light construct predictor of the Pawn form to regain Order. When absent of Order, a short prayer can be made to regain enough to transfer into either The Pawn or The King. Halting movement and vocalizing this prayer allows for activating the other forms.

The Pawn- Strongest of the forms, playing the pawn requires taking orders, either from himself or another. All moves must then be “announced in advance” in the form of a light construct that is slightly ahead of all actions (for example a sword swing is anticipated by a blade of light just ahead of it), but in exchange Sanctus does not expend Order. His uniform acts as typical armor, and his sword wields no special properties.

-Two Steps: When first encountering an opponent within 15 feet, Sanctus’ movement speed doubles, and can be used to close the distance and aid in combat. This can only be done once in an encounter. Switching forms uses up the effect.

-Faceless: Attacks to the front of the Pawn blurs vision. This is localized to the immediate area around the pawn’s figure, about the size of a full portrait of him. It is only seen by the opponent engaged in active combat with him.

-A Fair Duel: After attacking the pawn, the battle cannot be postponed without consequence. Enemies that try to disengage are marked. Marked enemies announce their moves to other enemies, accompanied by the same type of construct that predicts the pawn. This extends only to Sanctus’ line of sight.
End of the Board: Defeating an opponent allows the pawn to trade forms with another piece, while keeping the lack of Order expenditure unique to the pawn.

The Rook- A defensive form, the rook loses Order when hit and gains it when striking. However, it reinforces the uniform into stronger armor with deflection capabilities. This comes at the cost of the sword, which loses its balance and grows dull, becoming akin to a club.

-Stone and Mortar: The first 3 blows taken are deflected off the uniform, unenchanted blades may chip. All other blows to the rook take reduced damage. Blunt weapons are only deflected once.

-Bannered Ramparts: The rook can choose to make blows *appear* to deflect by utilizing the light construct to take on the appearance of the opponent’s attack on a slight delay, itself falsely deflecting. For example, a sword swing into the rook will be closely followed by a construct of the swordhand, which when in contact with the rook deflects. Wary foes may take notice of this however.

-The Four Winds: Using all Order, the rook releases a concussive blast in a radius of 5 feet, toppling opponents backwards another 5 feet, and dealing blunt damage to lightly armored foes.

The Knight- An offensive form, the Knight’s uniform has no special qualities beyond the moderately enchanted cloth which offers little benefit against physical weapons. The sword sharpens and compacts into a precise, deadly rapier. Order is gained by avoiding attacks, and lost when dealing it. Getting hit in this form immediately depletes Order and ends the form.

-Bane of the Red Bull: The rapier curls into a spring, and the unnatural bending of the metal exudes heat and steam. The resulting blow can penetrate any armor, but immediately depletes all Order.

-Kelpie's Touch: Expending Order, the knight can choose to fuse the gap between an opponent’s defenses, limiting their movement. This only works on a single gap, for example, fusing the joint at an opponent’s elbow. Once in effect it cannot be used again on the opponent. It dissipates in contact with any liquid, even saliva.

-Steed of Perseus: The Knight walks on sunbeams. It can move, run, and dodge omni-directionally. It cannot achieve full flight however, only ranging upwards about 15 feet.

The Bishop- A utilitarian form, the bishop has normal armor, but his sword remains sheathed. Instead he fights with a hard-light staff. Order is gained slow but passively in this form, but only around spellcasters or allies. Similar to the knight, the bishop immediately exits its form when struck by magical damage.

-Weightless: The staff can revert to a normal light construct, passing harmlessly through objects, and can solidify at will, but not within organic material.

-Tribute between Lords: At the cost of all Order, the Bishop can cast the staff at an opponent in a non-solid state. Relaying Sanctus’ mission as it passes through, the opponent is offered peace and a temporary truce if they so choose to ally themselves. Refusal marks the enemy with an anticipatory light construct similar to the pawn.

-Offering between Champions: The bishop can choose to empower an ally or opponent’s equipment with light, coating blades in a burning aura, and armor in hard light. This negates the passive Order build-up, slowly depleting it during uptime, ending the form after around 30 seconds.

The King- The replenishing form, the King has no armor, and his weapon gains no unique qualities. He passively gains Order.

-Steadfast Nobility: Remaining still, the King is blurred from view from all directions similar to the pawn’s front facing ability. Direct focus on this illusion reveals him. He gains increased Order when hidden.

-Twin to Light: Small cuts and bruises heal quickly, with larger wounds doing so much slower. Light must be present for this effect, and it cannot be used in combat. Like Steadfast Nobility, the king must be immobile for this skill.

-Caesar’s Lesson: Blows to the small of the back are ineffective, instead replenishing Order.

The Queen- No such form exists. A dishonorable death taints the pawn’s body, and in the absence of a willing vessel, it fades to dust, leaving only the mask. The once elegant whorls upon it begin to shift angrily, like grasping tendrils. A voice whispers out, smug with satisfaction, promising a reward for her new champion. Her power is yours….if you accept a new Queen, and reject your Lord. Would that not be such sweet chaos?

The Stairway- The pawn lies broken, and death awaits. With what strength remains he beckons you forth, and asks if you would accept their chains, and become a new pawn. The vision of peace is no one dream after all. Will you accept the mask, risk the anger of your Lord...or perhaps their pleasure? Would that not be any Lord’s wish, for you to play the pawn?




Post #: 41
7/5/2018 10:03:08   
brotherinlaw
Member




Name:方士, in the Common alphabet Fangshi
Age: 163
Race: Human
Class: Necromancer
Element: Wind

Appearence: Five foot nine inches tall and of a lean, if somewhat bulky build, Fangshi is of Mongoloid descent and possesses almond shaped eyes, sharp cheekbones, and a somewhat flattened nose. He is shaved bald of facial hair, head hair, and even his eyebrows. His skin is unusually tanned, almost reddish brown, due to his wandering, yet strangely lacks wrinkles or scars considering his age. In fact, the only imperfections on his skin are the tattoos on his back and forehead. Written in pure-white ink that glows under the moonlight, his back is covered in prayers to various God's and ancestors to protect him from curses and misfortune, and his forehead bears four circles in a diamond to grant him Death's sight, said to allow him to see the astral plane and those who would hide from mortal eyes, even through closed lids. His trade itself has left a mark on him as well, giving his ears a subtle point and his eye are now pure white.
He is dressed in a simple monks red with yellow trim robe that leaves his right side exposed, with sandals wrapped up his shins, loose red pants and a yellow sash (such extravagance is unusual for a monk, but laws in his homeland require it to designate his sect). While on the road, he wears a yellow cloak that covers his exposed arm and wraps under his left arm, with a simple bronze clamp holding it together above and to the right of his stomach.

Equipment:
incense rope-dart- wrapped around his waist and hidden under his sash, this incredible weapon combines a rope-dart and a small incense burner in one piece of metal. While the blessed dart makes for an unpredictable but savage weapon, dealing equal damage to the living, undead, and intangible alike, and the silk band it's connected to will wrap around swords rather than be cut, making it a hazard for enemies, by far the most dangerous element is the small burner directly behind the blade. Filled with certain herbs and spices, the smoke it produces has a numbing effect on the mind of most, yet focuses those acclimated to it and, most importantly, provides focus and substance to yokai spirits summoned by the necromancer, either for communication and cleansing or for combat I understand
Ancestors Prayer necklace- a family heirloom, this necklace is strung, not with beads, but with the skulls of the last nine of Fangshi's necromancer ancestors. Each one has their birthstone in polished orbs for eyes, with each orb engraved in turn with the name of the skull in which it is set. While the ancestors possess the necklace, all of them, not just the nine skulls, lack actual power, they will sing in chorus with Fangshi as he chants his spells, magnifying the potency in the same way monks will chant in chorus to magnify it far beyond the sum of it's parts. It also bears a talisman in the very center, a piece of weathered wood said to bear The Elemental Lord of Air's true name in an extinct Elemental tongue and set with a Great Qubak feather behind so The feather's fluff makes a halo around The wood. The Necromancer hopes to a one-day present his daughter with it, with his skull replacing the oldest of the nine.
bag of o-fuda - in a small satchel on his hip, separated in four bundles of twelve, are spell talismans of wind magic, each possessing a small wooden weight at the top for throwing and an adhesive on the reverse side. The first one, upon coming in contact with the target, summons a concussive blast of non-elemental force, about equivalent to a flashbang grenade, minus the flash. The second summons a column of wind that encircles the target in wind strong enough to bend metal and hurl debris at speeds that can cause lacerations or concussions for twelve seconds, protecting them but also trapping them to that spot. The third is a healing spell, requiring five-second of contact untill healing begins, at which point the talisman fades and a requisite five-seconds of inactivity for healing, resulting in healed lacerations and bruises and partial healing to more severe wounds, stopping blood-loss and setting broken bones. The final allows the subject in to diffuse into the wind and allows them to traverse almost instantly ten feet in any direction before returning to physical form. Each spell takes a full second to activate, unless it is cut, in which case it activates instantly.There we go, the healing talisman now fades
hidden dagger- hidden in a holster up his left sleeve, the simple five-inch steel triangle is commonly carried by traveling monks to avoid robbery. In his case, it makes an excellent last-defence should the enemy get into close range.

Abilities:
summon Yokai spirits- by consistently chanting, Fangshi can summon angry Yokai spirits loyal to him. While relatively intangible, they can take substance from his incense smoke to fight, ranging from a quarter foot to 4 feet, depending on how the wind blows. Their formless bodies can claw someone, superficially scratching them but inflicting common ailments like aches, sores, headaches, coughs, and bad luck, starting minor but possessing a cumulative effect. They can also hit hard-enough to knock the wind out of someone without armor. These weak mobs will be relatively harmless to an armored warrior and disapear immediately after their specific task is completed or has been attempted thrice and failed, but three can be summoned at once in quick succession and are useful to keep the foe at a distance, the prime range for Fangshi's ropedart. Their screams are loud and disorienting, and they also, as moving incense smoke, will disperse upon their task's end and provide an ongoing impediment to the enemies' focus. He must then wait for the wind to 'gather' the smoke back to himself to summon another, unless a 5 minute period of time has passed and he has burned a sizable amount of smoke to summon another. there is now a size limit (as it can be described in beings I already said were 'formless' and a time-limit between summons.
Death's sight- through his forehead tattoo, Fangshi can see even with his eyes closed as he's chanting. It also allows him to see any illusions, stealth, or deceipt for what they truly are, though that does not show him what or where said thing is hiding. behold, the super-nerf! This version is actually much more suited to a philosopher or monk: he can see the lies of the world, but he must discover it's truths on his own!
elemental and magical protection- the tattooed prayers on his back provide resistance to magic, especially luck-based magic that affects his luck or increases his enemie's. The talisman on his necklace also gives him incredible elemental wind resistance.
martial arts- as most monk sects, especially necromancer ones, have been attacked in the past, it's common for the non-pacifistic factions to develop or use a form of martial art. In Fangshi's case, he has been extensively trained in weapons like the rope-dart and knife, among others, as well as had-to-hand combat. The form he uses focuses on disabling with pressure-points, using your enemies momentum and weight against them, and disarming them with your bare hands. It's weakness is that it lacks offensive power outside of the usage of pressure points, and focuses of disabling so he can gain distance and resume use of the rope-dart and spirits. Fangshi is considered a master, as he has trained since his birth two-lifetimes ago and remains in peak physical condition.


Alright, is this the one?!
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 42
7/5/2018 21:42:51   
  Starflame13
Moderator


 Nearing the end of the second week, so keep posting those bios, everyone!

@Sanctus - welcome to the EC's! Just as a heads up, Character Death is a thing in the EC's, so most people are weary entering characters named/model after their own OC's. It's fine to do so, however, so onto Sanctus the character!

To start with, Sanctus has a LOT of options and variety going for him. With 5 fully developed "forms", each with 3 or so abilities, this is going to be a very complex character to play. It is workable, but given the variety a lot of the abilities will need to be toned back. My suggestion, if you want to keep all the forms, would be to limit them to 1-2 defining abilities and characteristics and start from there. That said, I'll give feedback on the character as-is for now!

First, Order. From my understanding, Order is required to shift into the different forms, and is used up/replenished based on Sanctus's actions in those forms, and Sanctus returns to the "basic" state (i.e., no form) when he is out of order. If any of those are incorrect, please let me know! My concern is mainly how Order is gained in the basic state - "meeting the purpose requirements of actions and equipment" is very vague. If you wish to expand upon this to see if it can be workable, you may, but I'd recommend looking into other possibilities. One would be that Sanctus has complete Order prior to the chaos of battle starting, and can only restore it in battle via the prayer and other specifically described actions while he is in form.

Now, the Anticipatory Light Construct that is shared between the Pawn/Bishop forms and could potentially impact other characters. I like the concept, but I'm concerned it may result in potential "bunnying" if you don't have the time to consult with everyone in your arena, as well as requiring you to collaborate in-depth with multiple people if, say, multiple people disengage from him while in Pawn form. The easiest way to go about this is limit it to affect only one opponent at a time - for example, if a second fighter disengages from a fight, the effects of the Light Construct would transfer over from the first person to the second. In addition, since allowing forms OTHER than the pawn to apply the Light Construct to themselves serves as a power boost, I would consider including Sanctus while he is in any other form in that the Light Construct can affect either him or an opponent, not both. Regardless, I feel like giving all the forms the ability to regain order via a self-focused Light Construct is too powerful. Feel free to come up with other ideas if you dislike these suggestions, but the ability does need to be limited in some way!

Onto the forms by themselves. For the Pawn, please elaborate on what "typical" armor is - leather vs. plate, for example. For it's abilities: Two Steps should have some sort of duration even within pawn form. This can be either a set time duration or, in keeping with the "Pawn" theme, perhaps it expires after the first successful strike or the first couple of attempts. Faceless looks good, though I am assuming that it only blurs vision during the action of the attack itself, and not if someone is just standing there like a scarecrow. For Fair Duel, see my comments on the Light Constructs earlier. End of the Board seems fine to me - it is unlikely to see much use, but then, giving any of the other forms the ability to not expend order without a Light Construct is extremely powerful so it should happen just as rarely. Also, is the pawn required to take ANY order given, or can choose which ones to follow? I would lean STRONGLY towards the latter or else you may find yourself at a severe disadvantage against a clever opponent.

Onto the Rook! We clarified separately that this is the only time the "dress uniform" takes on the weight of the heavier armor. For Bannered Ramparts - does this require that the opponent is already under the Light Construct effect, or is it an additional (and temporary) construct for that single blow? Using it should also drain Order somewhat, though not as much as the Four Winds. The only issue with the Four Winds is that its name makes it sound like you are using a cross-elemental ability - if the concussive blast is truly just force, rather than wind knocking someone back, it is still ok, but you may want to consider a name change just for clarity. As stated earlier, it is my assumption that upon using all Order for this attack, Sanctus returns to his basic state.

Now, the Knight. Bane of the Red Bull is a bit powerful if it can penetrate any armor regardless of protection - perhaps you can clarify that it should penetrate any unenchanted armor, or that the rapier retains its abilities until a successful blow is landed. Kelpie's touch is similarly a bit too powerful if it can "fuse" ANY joint in the body semi-permanently. My suggestion would be to limit this to joints on extremities (wrists, ankles, knees, and elbows), as well as add in another way for it to end. Perhaps if he loses form? For Steed of Perseus - we clarified that natural sunlight was NOT required. Even so, this should also have a set duration. Perhaps using the sunbeams drains Order exponentially, or else he can only remain suspended for so long?

Similar to the Pawn, please clarify what counts as normal armor for the Bishop, as well as what you mean by "hard light" for the staff/armor for allies. For abilities: Weightless looks good, but I would add the stipulation that the staff also cannot solidify within inorganic materials as well (no turning solid in the middle of someone's shield). See my notes on the Light Construct above for the Tribute between Lords. Offering between Champions also looks ok, but be ready to collaborate closely if you do end up using it to avoid bunnying.

Lastly, the King. For starters, Steadfast Nobility and Twin to Light should not occur at the same time, even if Sanctus does remain still. Twin to Light should also halt/slow the process of gaining Order, since instead that energy is healing him. From my understanding, the Queen and the Stairway are meant as flavor to show that while Sanctus may die, the artifact that contains some of his abilities may find a new host. As long as said host doesn't show up in the same ECs, this should be fine!

In all, you have a challenging, but intriguing character concept. Don't be afraid to simply the forms and abilities, and let me know if there are any questions! In general, Sanctus should not posses so much Order that he is able to switch between the forms whenever he wants to.


@brotherinlaw - I think this one is good!

I am making two assumptions. First, with the Yokai spirits: they are only 4 feet in size when a single spirit is summoned. If he summons 2 or 3, the size decreases depending on how much smoke is still available. Second: Death's sight tells Fangshi that there IS a deceit/illusion/invisible something, but not exactly where the cause of the deceit/illusion (or the location of the invisible person) is.

Let me know in a brief post (not a full bio) if these are true! Approval pending the confirmation.
AQ DF MQ AQW  Post #: 43
7/6/2018 12:06:15   
brotherinlaw
Member

Exactly!
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 44
7/6/2018 21:16:29   
  Starflame13
Moderator


 Just over one week remaining to submit your bios! The deadline is 11:59pm EDT on Saturday, July 14th. Any bios that have been submitted, but not yet approved, at that point will have 24 hours to be approved.


@brotherinlaw - Approved!
AQ DF MQ AQW  Post #: 45
7/6/2018 23:23:01   
ergotth
AQW Lore-titician


 Name: Ergotth
Race: Shadowman (Shadow folk, shadow people, you pick it)
Age: Eternal
Element: Darkness

Appearance: Slightly taller than most humans, Ergotth is a slim figure covered in a cloak of shadows with the cosmos swirling on the inside. His eyes glow dark with a slightly malicious glint as his untammed curiosity makes anything an interesting subject of study before him, often making people think he is a villainous fiend when actualy he just wants to study the world around him.

Equipment:
- Infinity Cloak
His cape is actualy a cut out of the Shadow of an eternal creature, it's hide is resilient to magic and can mend itself given time. The cloak can actualy shape itself to form attacks such as tendrils, walls and hands to aid Ergotth in conflict and even mundane tasks, as his hands are rarely, if ever used. It's capabilities are about the same as a well-crafted steel plate with the stiffness of leather, but out of combat it flows like silk.

- Shadow Realm
Perhaps not exactly an equipment, but Ergotth's plane of existance (aside from his "home") provides him with all the knowledge he gathered like a library inside his head, meaning he will have more ease countering curses and rituals he knows the means of casting and countermeasures. However, during the contest, he can't enter the shadow realm as the exit point moves randomly across Lore, his access is limited to thoughs and ideas rather than anything physical like himself.

Abilities:
- Shadow hands
Ergotth shapes his shadow into floating hands of varying sizes to grab, punch, slap or even scratch his chin. Virtualy anything a normal hand can do with quite a force behind it. Ergotth's own shadow exists in equal definition regardless the enviroment's light.

- Phase
Becoming a shadow, Ergotth becomes temporarily immune to physical damage for about 5 seconds. Using it requires a small moment, about half a minute to rest. Light spells can often force him back to his solid state. Forceful solidification will greatly wear him out and prevent another Phase for a couple minutes.

- Dark bolt
A rare moment where his actual hands are used, Ergotth points a finger and releases a lightingbolt of concentrated shadows that instead of eletrocuting, pierce like a blade. The erratic movements of a bolt make it quite the shredder. He can launch it straight from his fingertips or cause it to fall from the sky. Working as a solid blade rather than energy, it can be countered by solid means like shields, plates, sword strikes and such.

- Carpet pull
A "prank skill", Ergotth tends to sneak on unsuspecting people and pull their shadows, causing them to trip like the pull of a carpet. He found it quite useful in battle to unbalance his enemies. Depending on the light, he can have a better grasp of the enemy's shadows with strong light while a dark enviroment make the shadow "slippery" to his touch.

- Dark cloaking
For a few seconds, Ergotth can turn an entire area pitch-black, cutting out the vision of all those inside of it. This magic however loses in strenght with larger areas, concentrating on a radius of 5 meters will make the zone pitch-black while extending past 15 meters will be barely noticeable.

- Eons-worth of knowledge
Due his age and intense studies of the entirety of Lore, Ergotth accumulated a large mental encyclopedia, able to know the chanting of curses, types of poison and creatures and how to counter jinxes and hexes. All information is kept floating at the waters of his Infinity realm.

Background:
Created in the beggining of Lore itself, the Shadowfolk were created by the Eternal Dragon of Time, by cutting his own shadow into tiny pieces, each Shadowman and Shadowwoman was made to keep the history of Lore checked and recorded with an unbiased and undetected point of view, with each individual assigned to one of Lore's many timelines. Ergotth just happen to be the one responsible for the Timeline holding this championship. Although not perfectly fit for combat, Ergotth can defend himself with his control of shadows. Choosng this affinity to represent the realm of Darkness.

Personality:
Despite his malicious look, Ergotth technicaly falls in the "Chaotic Neutral" side of the moral compass. He is reserved and can't really understand emotions as a whole. With his sole mission of keeping history going straight and very well recorded, he doesn't care for any life taken or spared by others if acts of heroism are beyond his permission to interfere. When interacting, though, he shows signs of being a little mischievous, but can get emotionally attached, or he is just curious and want to see how life treats a subject he is interested on. Piece of advice: he is mostly attracted to those about to meet a tragic end.

----------

I hope I didn't deviate too much from the purpose of this post xD Ergotth is a character I worked a lot of lore over him and never expected to make him a fighter, as he is more of the traveling scholar with hints of mad scientist.I also hope posting images is not a problem either, both ergotth and the Shadow Realm are two concepts I had a lot of fun designing.



< Message edited by ergotth -- 7/8/2018 21:14:56 >
DF AQW  Post #: 46
7/7/2018 4:00:02   
Starstruck
Member

Name: Vir
Race: Human
Age: 20?
Element: Energy

Appearance: Moderately tall, wiry, bright blond, and VERY fidgety. Says 6'4" but is actually 6'2" and a half. Sharp features, fairly handsome, with a slight underbite and a pair of glittering hazel eyes. Wears a small smirk at all times, "And not much else!" as he famously adds. A pair of gauntlets made from some strange material, sturdy boots with iron decorations, a tight white shirt and some incredibly short booty shorts are all he brings with him to battle. Vir's pale skin burns easily, but he's from warm wet shady foresty climes and has never heard of Bren's infamous cloudless summer skies, or sunscreen, so he's sporting a cherry-red complexion and shoulders from his early days in Bren, which were mostly spent outside with no shirt enjoying the weather. Vir has been spending most of his time indoors hopping from tavern to tavern. Not hard to see why. His build is nothing like some of the pillars of muscle, bone, and metal that have been gracing the arena so far, but pleasantly lean and athletic, with well-defined abs and lean, sinuous crevices. Bright smile, but a little mischievous, and never seems to stay in one place for too long.

Belongings: A pair of iron discs, around 8" in diameter, attached to strange braided ropes of iron about 6 feet in length. The whole ensemble can be smelled from about 15 feet away; it tastes like blood in your mouth. The cables are attached to a sturdy iron belt and wrapped around his waist to keep his well-defined torso and arms visible for anybody who happens to be looking. Which is, in his mind and occasionally also in reality, usually everyone.

Inside the iron cables is a mess of thickly coiled copper wire. Where did he get that much copper? It seems prohibitively expensive. The copper is imbued with a magical connection. At the center of the discs, connected to the coil, is a thin plate of copper. Cold iron is notorious for its anti-magic properties, and the discs are certainly capable of disrupting minor curses and blocking arcane assaults on contact.

Abilities: Vir has a magnetic personality and a lightning wit, but more importantly, magnetic powers and basic energy magic. He can manipulate his own personal magnetic field to an astonishing extent. Though a little creativity can grant the illusion of telekinetic or ferrokinetic powers (particularly relating to his iron discs), the field can ONLY be sourced from Vir's body. Though the coiled copper wire and the presence of a magnetic field are more than enough to generate ample amounts of electricity, Vir has also studied some basic energy spells offhand. Not that he remembers them that well.

Spark - Oh Gods, what is this one??? This is like the most important one! Makes a little spark thingamajig, great in a pinch. Uh......TEMPESTO! No wait no. Maybe? Was there a gesture involved or something? You're saying it's not even close to TEMPESTO? WELL THEN WHICH ONE WAS TEMPESTO THEN?

[Spark: The invocation "VIS" creates a small lightning bolt that arcs from the caster's hand to a target point within 10 feet. While it's not a whole lot of current or voltage, it's useful for flashy displays and has all the trappings of a small lightning bolt if it hits something.]

Complete The Circuit - You're trying to trick me. That's not even a spell. It is? What does it even do? Give me the book, I need to see this. Huh. I shoulda read this more carefully. This one's cool. You can chain a bunch of things together and then zap the first one to zap them all. Only works once, but still!

[Complete The Circuit: Caster designates a discrete object or living thing as a target with a brief period of concentration. Up to 4 targets may be selected. All targets must be visible by or in contact with the caster. Targets that are not in view of or in contact with the caster will be immediately lost UNLESS they are in physical contact with another target. A lost target cannot be acquired again by that instance of the spell. If the caster loses concentration or does not have vision of any of the targets anymore, the spell fails and unloads electrical feedback directly to the caster's head - a highly unpleasant experience. When the spell ends, using the invocation "TEMPESTO," all targets will be considered electrically linked for the next minute, regardless of distance or obstacles in between them. Any electricity passing through any target will arc through all other targets and back to the original target in a closed loop. This may only happen once, and then all targets are released from the circuit.]

Thunderclap - Oh this one's easy, you literally just charge it up...which, mind, can be done at ANY time and kept INDEFINITELY, crazy strong, crazy good...and then smack someone. Kaboom! They go flying! You can also clap you hands together if nobody wants to high five you, and it'll give everyone within like 10 feet a free ride away from you. Wait, how do you charge it up again? Don't you like, rub your hands or something?

[Thunderclap: Caster rubs his or her hands together with the invocation "STATIC" to generate a small static charge. This charge is stored inside the caster's hand. The caster may choose at any time to discharge the stored energy as a burst of electric force, accompanied by a loud booming sound. The charge dissipates harmlessly away over time if not used, lessening the strength of the spell exponentially down to 10% of its original level over the course of ten minutes. The caster may also choose to charge both hands with static electricity and clap them together, emitting a wave of kinetic force that can stagger nearby foes. Vir is vastly overexaggerating the power of the spell because he read that experienced Energy wizards have been able to amplify the charge internally and sustain it for longer periods, leading to incredibly loud and overwhelming Thunderclaps prepared days in advance.]

Hopefully the Championships themselves go a little better than this impromptu test. Probably not. Vir isn't the studying type.

History: The brightest sparks come from the rough clash of metal on metal, and Vir's electric gleam came from a particularly brutal conflict in feudal lands. Unlike surrounding territories, who were wealthy and prosperous, the duchy of Ohm had little but the ground beneath their feet, which wasn't saying much. The tough, stony soil didn't lend itself well to farming, and though the surrounding kingdoms were rife with fantastic creatures of all kinds, Ohm was a particular exception; something about the area dampened magic and repulsed fae creatures, leading to a flourishing of surrounding territories while Ohm sank into abject poverty. It was Vir's father, a blacksmith, who discovered the incredibly rich and pure iron veins extending for miles underground, and overnight the town became the target of an endless wave of armed demands from outside kingdoms who were confident they could out-muscle the impoverished feudal lord. Though the blacksmith stood strong against the invading forces, he was not invincible, and he was struck down by a particularly cruel and powerful king's best champions, along with the duke's entire honor guard, when Vir was only eight years old. Driven mad with grief, Vir swore revenge on the cruel tyrant and fled underground.

For the next year, the mines of Ohm drew nothing from the earth except what could be carried in pockets or hidden in leather bags. Entire shipments would wheel themselves away into the darkness, and lumps of ore would be drawn to the center of the earth by some mysterious force. Sinkholes would swallow entire buildings, allowing vermin to enter and spoiling months of rations. Myths spread of spooks and haunts, and though the tyrant did his level best to maintain control over his men, the whispers of curses laid proved to be too much for him. He ventured in with a full battalion of men to scour every inch of the mines. Though each step of their progress was impeded by cave-ins and explosive sparking gas, the curse of the mines claiming man after man, somehow the tyrant escaped each disaster unharmed. Finally, Vir was captured and sentenced to death. At the last second, he managed to escape and fled the town, becoming a wandering adventurer.

From thence to adulthood, Vir did his best to forget these tragedies and became a wandering charmer and adventurer. His boyish good looks and natural charisma came in handy when it came to scoring meals and drinks, and he soon found himself fluttering around in the social spheres of the petty nobility. He was beloved by all; half of it from his razor wit and bright, disarming smile, and half of it from his role as Decorative Attendant in the court of many a blushing noblewoman. As the sweet young child grew to a sturdy, athletic young adult, he found himself in royal demand more and more, showing off new tricks of sparkling electricity and swirling iron. His secrets somehow remained safe; when asked, he would only allow a small smirk and toss around the discs once again, as if to say "Watch and learn." No one ever did. Though he was familiar with the idea of the Elemental Championships and has even been to watch one once, Vir took no interest in gladiatorial combat and stayed safely away from the Arenas and the dangers carried therein. Not a one of his friends knows why this year is different.
DF MQ  Post #: 47
7/7/2018 22:54:15   
  Starflame13
Moderator


 Let the weekend rush begin! As a reminder, come check out the Discord server linked in the first post for fun discussion and collaboration, and feel free to ask for questions/clarifications either in this thread, in the server, or in PM!

@ergotth - Hello and welcome! As I pointed out to Sanctus, most people are wary about entering OC's due to the fact that Character Death is a thing in the EC's, but it is fine to do so! As a note to your last point, while I can't stop you from reusing the character elsewhere, just remember that a Death in the EC's is a Death throughout the entire AEF RP forum. Additionally, Ergotth WILL need to take part in the combat - joining the crowd as solely a spectator is, sadly, against the rules.

Now, balancing! I like the concept of the Infinity Cloak, however, it runs the risk of falling into the "multiple characters" category if it does posses sentience. Does it require Ergotth's focus to move/shape it, as if it were an additional limb? Or does it move/act independently? The latter would fall into the category of a secondary character - see my comments to brotherinlaw at the top of this post in defining what counts as secondary characters/summons, and ask me if you need any clarifications.

Next, the Shadow Realm (and by extension, the Phase ability). Teleportation is tricky to do in the EC's, so this needs a bit more detail! Since it's actually stepping into a separate plane of existence, it can be handled a couple ways. If you want to keep it as a means for movement, it needs a distance limit of some sort, generally between 5-15 feet. The further he can travel, the less often he should be able to Phase. Another option would be to use it solely as a dodge ability, and Phase out for a brief period of time before reappearing in the same place (or as close to as possible). This would instead need a duration limit, maybe 5-10 seconds. The longer he remains in the Shadow Realm, the less often he can use the ability. Play around with concepts and figure out what suits your style best!

For Shadow Hands/Carpet Pull, keep in mind that different arenas have different light sources, which may impact how easily these can be to use. Otherwise they look fine! Dark bolt looks fine as well, although note that if it pierces like a blade, heavy enough armor should serve as adequate protection. Lastly, Dark Cloaking needs some sort of range limit. This can be something concrete (15-25 feet), or more abstract (a radius determined by the length of his shadow, for example).

The concepts are solid, just needs a bit more detail. Looking forward to seeing the revised bio!

@Starstruck - Thank you for adding more detail to the characters! I have a few things I want to confirm, but otherwise this looks very good.

First, note that your disks will have NO impact on the magic of the Arena itself, and provide very little protection for the stronger magics cast by the competition. For Completing the Circuit, we clarified via PM that the concentration period will increase with each additional target selected - making it easier for opponents to realize Vir is up to something and to stop him before the circuit is completed. Since only a single attack from any electrical source can be used before this dissipates, I'm ok with the longer duration.

For Vir's magnetic abilities - We discussed this at length and didn't have time to reach a solution, which is fine! My current understanding (which would be acceptable) is that the ability extends to being able to attract/repulse other magnetized objects beyond his own that interact with his field. Since magnetic fields don't generally have a set range, but rather get weaker exponentially as they move away from the source, this would mean that Vir can't drag items around at anything further than melee range unless they are literal magnets.

Feel free to discuss this with me further when you have time! Once we have a solution here, Vir should be ready for Approval.
AQ DF MQ AQW  Post #: 48
7/8/2018 21:14:52   
ergotth
AQW Lore-titician


 I revised and edited my bio (I assume you wanted me to edit the bio to fit the rules, otherwise, I apologize for the blunder) ^^ I want to point out his cloak is NOT sentient, it's like an artifact, a tool, as for Dark Bolt... yea, you nailed it, it works like a lightningbolt-shaped blade, so it can be defended by anything that goes against a blade, including parrying it with your weapon. I just like the idea of a pitch-black lightnngbolt, but that would count as energy element if eletrocution was also an effect, so the idea of SHAPING SHADOWS like a lightnigbolt would be pretty neat if it worked like a piercing blade. Although I hope no one minds if this spell makes the sound of a thunder :3

< Message edited by ergotth -- 7/8/2018 21:15:59 >
DF AQW  Post #: 49
7/8/2018 22:00:47   
TormentedDragon
Member

Posting because Starflame's on mobile at the moment:

From the first post:
quote:

DO NOT edit your biography after posting without express permission. You must submit a new post to correct an error or update your character, and the most recent post submitted will be the one evaluated.


Also:
quote:

4. Do not edit your posts once you have submitted them.
As with bios, you may only edit your posts with the express permission of me, myself, and I. Editing of bios or of posts without foreknowledge creates suspicion of foul play. Double-check your post before you submit it, and live with any errors you might have once it is submitted.
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 50
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