RE: Ethereal Poetry - Comments - Latest: Who Are You? (Full Version)

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~Shade~ -> RE: Ethereal Poetry - Comments - Latest: Who Are You? (1/10/2009 15:06:57)

Totally! I do it sometimes too.

Anyways, it's cool. Thanks for commenting!

~Shade~



~Shade~ -> RE: Ethereal Poetry - Comments - Latest: Who Are You? (1/23/2009 19:01:37)

Newest poem is up. solace in the bathtub

~Shade~



Firefly -> RE: Ethereal Poetry - Comments - Latest: Who Are You? (1/24/2009 14:56:54)

quote:

my slow breath fogging the frosted glass

I suggest you kill "slow" Breath can't really be slow, imo. Breathing can, but that kinda jars the flow.

Ah, I see that you've taken to trying for the "no punctuation, no capitals" thing. Excellent--funny enough, I've recently been doing some experimenting on my own by writing freeverse and attacking less lofty, more ordinary matters.

Not sure if it was intentional, but this seems like it's almost implying redemption or something with these lines:

quote:

that i think i might lie there until i die
slowly being cleansed

Yeah, so that translates into "I liked" in my long-winded way. ;)



~Shade~ -> RE: Ethereal Poetry - Comments - Latest: Who Are You? (1/25/2009 10:38:44)

:P That's good, Firefly. Glad you enjoyed. Not only is it supposed to mean cleansed as in, "Ha, Mom, see? I'm not all dirty from playing outside! NOW can I play video games?" (that was a weird example....) but also redemption. I've read lots of books where people are redeemed, and I figured a nice bath would work (A case in point being The Bell Jar, by Sylvia Plath. I don't know if you've read it, but after a long night of partying and going home with a friend and her new date, Esther Greenwood returns to her hotel and takes a nice, long, incredibly hot bath.)

My way of saying thank you, in a freaky sorta way.

~Shade~



er23. -> RE: Ethereal Poetry - Comments - Latest: Who Are You? (2/16/2009 21:22:10)

Okay. Some spare time, finally. No homework today, yay!

Missed your poetry loads, Shade. I'm glad to see that you have some new pieces up.

Random Poem: I like it. Especially when it talks about how the quills fly in different emotions.

quote:

The land of lots of poetry, with little bits of verse.


The first part of the sentence sounds a little bit to crammed. You could cut the "land of lots of", but it's fine if you don't cut it.

She: Don't worry Shade (though Firefly will probably have assured you already), it's not bad at all. We all have our emotional rushes.

quote:

I’m not that cool.
Just a poetic nerd!


I think instead of the period after cool, it should be a comma.



~Shade~ -> RE: Ethereal Poetry - Comments - Latest: Who Are You? (2/28/2009 9:05:41)

Doesn't appear that I'll have to fix She, Er.

New poem. This one is going to be labeled by me, "READ AT YOUR OWN RISK".

I hope you enjoy it if you do, but, again, I have to doubt that.

She, Too (Impulsively Quit)

~Shade~



Firefly -> RE: Ethereal Poetry - Comments - Latest: Who Are You? (2/28/2009 18:56:08)

I read it. It's good. The structure is very creative and the feelings hit in hard. I wish you well, Shade. Waxing and waning, creating and breaking, is part of life. I have more specific feelings and comments, but I don't think they're suitable for this thread. I'll catch you on IRC sometime.



~Shade~ -> RE: Ethereal Poetry - Comments - Latest: Who Are You? (3/14/2009 19:24:34)

Thanks, Firefly.

I want to announce that I'm probably not going to be writing for a while. This shouldn't be much news, as I'm nothing if not unproductive. That said, I am more busy than usual, and I've gotten some... problems... handed to me recently. My great-grandfather has developed pancreatic cancer along with liver cancer. Being 84, he's been given a prognosis of approximately two weeks to three months. We're working on taking care of him and my great-grandmother, so I'm quite busy now, helping them out, staying nights on the weekends, etc.

Hope you have a good morning/day/evening/night.

Yours truly,
-~-Shade-~-



~Shade~ -> RE: Ethereal Poetry - Comments - Latest: Who Are You? (3/24/2009 16:37:02)

He's dead.



Arthur The Brave One -> RE: Ethereal Poetry - Comments - Latest: Who Are You? (3/25/2009 18:22:29)

0_o que?! Who's dead? You aren't dead shade... are you? Shade? Shaaaaaaaaaaade? Shadeeeeeeeeeeee? Shaddddddddddddde? Meow? <:3
Anywayz... I liked your last piece... and I just kinda dropped by to say hi :)
Juuuuuuuuuuuustiiiiiiiiiiice.... will prevail! (if we just keep waiting long enough >.>)



~Shade~ -> RE: Ethereal Poetry - Comments - Latest: Who Are You? (3/25/2009 18:25:44)

Yeah... I probably won't be able to contribute. I have so much going on I can barely write. But I suppose one can try.

quote:

My great-grandfather has developed pancreatic cancer along with liver cancer.


He died.

~Shade~



~Shade~ -> RE: Ethereal Poetry - Comments - Latest: Who Are You? (10/25/2009 22:44:15)

New poem up. It doesn't have a title.



Firefly -> RE: Ethereal Poetry - Comments - Latest: Who Are You? (11/26/2009 18:01:12)

You'll probably hate me for coming to this a month late. But I'm here, and I read "Untitled."

I like how you're experimenting with new structure, and some of the imagery was quite nice. I do feel like I'm missing the point though. I mean, I have a feeling it has a deeper meaning, but the only one I can think of is probably too... well, let's just say you do /not/ want to know what it is.



~Shade~ -> RE: Ethereal Poetry - Comments - Latest: Who Are You? (12/15/2009 18:07:55)

Well, I'd love to hear what your idea is. And I really don't mind the month late thing. I have been the busiest at school and L&L has been far from my mind. It's becoming harder and harder to return or write, because my English teacher has decided that the most efficient way of teaching is to make sure our grubby little fingers develop early onset arthritis by assigning the largest amount of essays I've ever seen.

I really don't know what I'll do...

I'll let you know what it WAS later. Oh, and we missed my birthday.

~Shade~



Lady Veryon -> RE: Ethereal Poetry - Comments - Latest: Untitled (11/13/2011 17:09:11)

quote:

But the door slowly opens,
And soon the pain will flow.


Firstly, I adore this sonnet. Very nice flow-wise (which is the great nit-pick from me when it comes to Poetry), but the words mean something too. It's a good mix of enjoyable things.

I could go through these pages of Poetry and find tiny details, tiny flaws. In the end, though, it's the heart that matters, and your heart pours out through these tiny, well-written posts. I think it's the flaws that make the true Poet, and you are one.

I'll be haunting here often.

V



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