The Bane of this World | A comedic, epic (yeah right!) tale (Full Version)

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Crimzon5 -> The Bane of this World | A comedic, epic (yeah right!) tale (12/6/2008 9:10:09)

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Alterra, a forsaken nation
A land of stained by the blood of war
A world of hatred and vengeance
Plagued by the sorrow and depression

Endless fields of green now turned red
By the crimson blood of the fallen
A foul stench haunts the four winds
Left by the corpses of the unburied dead


Chapter 1: Beginning of an End

A young youth at the age of seventeen, accompanied by a girl about his age, stood above a grassy cliff, staring at his village. The warm winds of the early afternoon blew through his brown strands of hair. It had seemed to be a forest fire with the amount of smoke pouring from the numerous blacksmiths and forgeries. It was a moment of silence. The young man lowered his head and faced the ground. “The war started… twenty years ago, right?” said the boy, “...but it’s really hard to believe that it’s still going on until now. Why must they keep fighting?”

“Grey... I know how you feel,” replied the girl. “But there’s nothing you can do about it–” Her hopeless tone seemed to annoy her companion.

“But I have to,” Grey interrupted. “Remember how my parents died? My father was forced to fight in the war. When he wore his armor and left the village, he joined the army's formation. Then, according to the townsfolk, they heard the sounds of gunfire and clashings of swords. When I came to check what happened and to say bye to him, he was… dead. And my mom… She was out in the fields when the town was raided. I was lucky to survive by exploring the ruins nearby with you.” His tone seemed a bit slow and disappointed.

The girl was about to speak when suddenly Grey raised his head and drew a sword from a sheath tied to his left leg. It was a one-handed crimson sword; it glowed darker as light came pouring down from the sun illuminated its true color.

“Hey, where did you get that?!” The girl's voice seemed to be deeply worried as if she was expecting to hear something very unpleasant. The boy remained silent and pointed at the town. It seemed to her that he was pointing at one of the forgeries though. The girl frowned and turned around. “So they’re making you fight, too?” The way she spoke seemed to indicate that she was crying.

“No,” he replied as he shook his head. “Humans are to blame for this. Sooner or later, they’ll be killing other innocent people. That’s why–” The girl wiped her eyes and faced him. The expression in her eyes seemed to be a mother’s when scolding her son.

“You mean you stole that?!”

“A-actually… I f-found it in the attic. My uncle told me that–”

“He told you not to take it and you took it anyway!?” she interrupted.

“No. He told me that it belonged to his great-great-granduncle – Gio Stormblaze. At least he DIDN'T tell me not to take it...”

The girl touched her forehead with her fingers and shook her head. “I thought... you actually became mature for once. Coming up here and setting a mood by staring at the town and saying that something needs to change. So, what are you planning to do?”

“…I’m gonna go to other towns and blow them up.”

“WHAT?!” The girl slapped him, then asked, “And how do you plan on doing that, you moron?” The impact from

“C’mon, Ashley. We’re in a modern world. We have gunpowder-guns, cannons, and explosives. How hard can it be to ‘borrow’ some from town?”

The two argued for half an hour, then the blade sparkled a small flash of darkness and began to glow with a dark-red essence. Seemingly, it was evil... but was it?

“Hey, w-what’s going on?!”

Grey’s eyes glowed red as an ominous voice came from his mouth. “At last, someone to fulfill my desires! You seek to bring peace, do you not? And by doing so, blood needs to be shed. Take me, take my power, take your sword. Your desire…my desire are one. I AM Desire.”

The dark essence left Grey’s eyes. “Wow! I never knew a sword wanted a Wii and a PS2 and had cravings for blueberry pie! By the way, the words you just made me say have a bad flow.”

The glow in his eyes returned. “No, you fool! Is it not your desire to kill? For peace, there must be war. And that war has to end. And for it to end, there has to be killing.”

Grey threw his sword on the ground. The blade cut into the piece of land where it landed. The blade cut into the earth, sticking out of it like the fabled sword in the stone. Grey then held his head tightly and tried to shake the voice off. “Hey, get out of my head! There’s already too much junk in it.” The blade’s glow disappeared as another flash of darkness triggered.

“Grey, are you alright!?”

“Yeah, I’m okay. But that sword… IT’S SO FREAKIN’ AWESOME!”

“Hello? Don’t you remember what it just did to you? Why do you think your uncle hid it in an attic instead of using it in battle? He’s a veteran swordsman.”

The two continued to argue until sundown. Their conflict was interrupted by deep, low pitched growling rising from behind them. “Something’s here.” Grey's voice had seemed to filled with fear, as well as with excitement. A pack of five wolves leaped up from a lower part of the cliff. They growled viciously as their saliva dripped from their mouths. Each of the wolves stared at Grey, whom they had believed to be the 'alpha male' among the two, sniffing him from afar. The wolves moved in a V-formation, with the alpha leading. Taking small steps, the wild beasts slowly came closer and closer to the two.

The teenagers took a few step backwards until they found themselves the near the edge of the cliff. “Hmm... Ashley, due to the fact that there are five of them, two of us, the fact that there's nowhere to run, and we have absolutely no kind of weapon which isn't possessed by some evil blueberry-loving spirit-“

“Yeah, we’re doomed. Grey, I don’t want to die like this. Do something!”

“Who said we’re doomed? What I was saying was that we’re gonna look so cool once we deal with them. I can take these guys any day.”

Ashley grabbed Grey by the shoulders and shook him. “You idiot! You’re so immature! We’re going to die. There’s gotta be something smart you can do!”

Grey extended his right arm as if he was protecting Ashley. “Well… I could use the ‘cursed’ blade over there. It may be able to possess me and tell me that I'm a fool as well as steal my blueberries from my house but that's better than nothing.” Grey swiftly drew the blade from the ground. “Oh yeah!”

Ashley slapped her face and shook her head. When all hope had seemed lost (what could Grey possibly do?), a young, gel-using blond jumped from behind the beasts and decapitated one of the wolves. He landed on his right foot and left shin. He held his weapon, a small-cannon-like gun with a sharp blade attached near the firing part tightly at its handle. Due to the darkness of the sunset, a silhouette covered most of his face. “Hmph. You should know better than to fight without a SWORD.” The young blond remained still in his pose as he spoke.

The other four wolves took a few steps backwards. Still growling viciously, the wolves stared at him. The beta, now being the leader because of the beheading of the alpha, took a step forward.

The two paused and stared at him in awe. “Show-off... Drake, you do know that among the three of us, only you have a SWORD?” replied Ashley in an annoyed tone. The boy, known as Drake Mythyshire, who was a year older than Grey, was one of their childhood friends. Being the oldest, he bears more knowledge than the two and was entrusted with a weapon.

“What do you mean, Ashley? I got a sword right over here. Besides, that’s not a sword. That’s a K56 Bladecannon,” Grey interrupted as he covered Drake by running towards a wolf. The wolf jumped as it attempted to pounce of Drake but Grey held his blade and pierced at wolf as it landed. "Hehe, a wolf-on-a-stick."

“He means Superior-Wielded Offensive Rifle Device.” Ashley's tone still seemed to be hostile.

Drake remained silent and quickly blasted the three remaining wolves with skill and accuracy. As soon as the first one had fallen, one of the remaining two turned its back and tried to escape while the other tried to fight back with its claws.

"Your point?" Grey's response to Ashley gave her an impression that he was very dense.

"Hello? Greeeey...? What's in that head of yours? S-W-O-R-D ... SWORD!!! S for Superior, W for Wielded... ah, you should get it by now!" Ashley slowly leaned her head on her extended fingers as she massaged her forehead.

“SWORD is short for Superior-Wielded Offensive Rifle Device? Wow!? I never knew that. Seesh, why’d they have to make an acronym out of that? I mean, two kinds of weapons called 'swords'? Seesh!”

Blowing the smoke coming from his weapon, Drake stood up and rubbed some dirt of his sleeve. “Heh, I guess I’ll be going now-“ Before Drake continued, he noticed Grey’s weapon. “Hey, where’d you get that?” Before Grey could say a single word, Drake aimed his SWORD at him and prepared to shoot. “Gonna break the world, huh?”

“It’s not like that, Drake,” interrupted Ashley. “He wants the war to stop and-“

“Hmm… meet me here tomorrow,” interrupted Drake. He lowered his K56 Bladecannon, hung it on his back and left. Ashley gave Grey miserable look then turned her head as she followed Drake down the hill.




Crimzon5 -> RE: The Bane of this World | A comedic epic (yeah right!) tale (12/6/2008 9:12:29)

Chapter 2: Retaliation

The rooster crowed as soon as morning came. Grey got up from his bed which was on the second floor of a two-story building. The floor, made of narra, was thick and varnished. Yet each step would cause the wood to bend slightly and make a sound. Grey’s room had two bookshelves by the window. Each was six feet high and four feet wide. One used to be filled with Elven-language books while the other used to be filled with books written by humans. That was until Grey grew too lazy to return the books to their proper places. It was silent until someone knocked with three taps on his door. Walking drowsily, with each step making an annoying screech-like sound, Grey went to the door, opened it and saw Ashley.

“Hey, Ashley. What’s up?” Grey still seemed to be very sleepy and inactive. As he spoke, he made no eye contact. Actually, his eyes weren't even open.

“You haven’t gotten ready? Drake’s waiting for you!” Ashley's eyes were wide-open in surprise.

Grey yawned. “Well, he did tell us that he’ll meet us today. But what he didn’t say is what time we’re gonna meet with him,” he reasoned.

“Someone giving you a lack of information isn’t an excuse. Use your common sense for once,” scolded Ashley.

“Fine, fine; I’ll get ready,” replied Grey. “Just give me a sec.” He shut the door tight as Ashley, slowly tapping her feet, waited outside his room. From there, she could hear the sound of water flowing from a faucet.

Suddenly, the door burst open as Grey stood there with combed wet hair.

“Don’t tell me that you only wet your hair and put on your field-clothes!” the girl shouted.

“Is that what you expect of me?”

“Umm… to be honest… yes.” The girl smiled sweetly. “So how did you get ready so fast?”

“Umm… never mind. Drake must be waiting for us.” Grey ran as fast as he could towards the hill, almost bumping into caravans and other townsfolk on the way. The village was very small… if you don’t count the blacksmiths, that is. As always at the start of the morning, the blacksmiths and forgeries began to fill the sky with smoke. It was because of all the sword-forging and arrow-crafting which was necessary to supply more than what a hundred armies needed.

“Grey just doesn’t seem to get it, does he?” she sighed. “Oh well… Drake must be waiting for me, too.”

Ashley caught up with Grey when he was just a few steps from the hill. Even from there, the large pillars of smoke could be seen. There were two ways to get up the hill. One of the paths towards the summit of the hill was just the plain old grassy slope while the other was like a staircase which was dug generations ago. At this time, it had already been cemented.

Once they had reached the top of the hill, the two saw Drake standing and staring at the town as Grey had done yesterday. He stood with his right leg bent with his right foot on a rock. He held his chin in his right hand as his thigh supported his elbow.

“Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeemmmmoooooooooooooooo,” teased Grey.

“Grey!” scolded Ashley as she swiftly punched him with her right elbow.

“Aaawww!” exclaimed Grey as he rubbed his side. “That hurt…”

“Hehehehe… took ‘ya long enough, Grey,” said Drake. “Look at the village. What do you see?”

“Hmm… I can see my house from here!”

“…what else?”

“Uh, numerous blacksmiths and pillars of smoke?”

“Bingo! Anyway, do any of the two of you know why this nation is having war?” Drake asked.

“Is it because of their greed for resources, money, and power?” replied Ashley.

“No. Politicians aren't that bad... Anyway, not long ago, about two centuries ago-“

“Hey, that seems very long,” interrupted Grey. “Err… nevermind; go on.”

“As I was saying,” continued Drake. “About two centuries ago, colonists came to this land teaching our ancestors their culture and forcing them to follow their religion. Our forefathers who worshipped the Dragon, the said-to-be guardian of our nation, were either killed, converted, or outcasted. It wasn’t long ‘til a rebellion was formed. It took a year or two to overthrow the ‘intruders’. And by doing so, it was believed that they ‘killed’ the god, the winged leopard. After that, peace returned to the land once again. Ships started to come and go. People left and people stayed. It all was normal again until-“

“Oooo! Ooo! Let me guess! More people came and did the whole ‘kill the infidels’ thing?” interrupted Grey as he raised his hand and jumped in excitement.

“No. It’s not like that. The reason for this war was caused by these strange plagues which started to happen twenty years ago. Forest fires have appeared more frequently, new diseases have been discovered which not even alchemy could cure, harvests have been going bad, and according to some, the moon has been disappearing. The more and more the people fought, the more and more these ‘plagues’ occurred." Drake paused shortly as he shook his head. "The people of today and of the past are but the same – they’re superstitious!” His tone seemed to enraged.

“What do you mean?” Ashley asked.

“When they fought, they fought to ‘avenge’ their god. They started a chain of revenge that caused the war to rage on. They’re blaming the ‘death’ of their god as the cause of the plagues and say that they need sacrifices. What they don’t know is that they’re cause of all this!” replied Drake. Drake took his SWORD and aimed at one of forgeries. “WAR!” he shouted. “YOU’RE THE CAUSE OF ALL THIS!” He pulled the trigger and watched the building burn to ashes.

“I-I don’t get it. What does war have to do with this?” Grey asked.

“They say forest fires have become more frequent. That’s because all the smoke coming from the forgeries have damaged the Ozone Layer. They say that new diseases have been introduced to his world. That’s because they’re too lazy to bury the corpses!”

The three remained silent. “Hurry,” Drake spoke. “They’re probably wondering what caused the explosion. Pack your things. And bring your crimson sword. Let's meet by the old windmill... we aren't done yet.”

The three descended the hill. When they had reached the flat solid ground, they each took their seperate paths towards their homes. The path leading to Grey's house from the hill seemed much shorter than it had been going up.

Grey: Yeah, all you’d have to do is just jump and you're there in no time!

Narrator: *makes a big boulder fall on Grey by narrating it* For the last time; pretend I’m not here.

*Ehem* Rushing home excitedly, Grey almost tripped over a fruit stand - again. Grey's small village -small, as long as you didn't count the number of forges- seemed to be from the Industrial Age. Compared to other towns and villages, this town was low-tech. The floor’s tiles were rocks of different shapes and sizes that were partially dug into the ground. As always, the creation of war tools caused the sky to be blocked by a gaint cloud of smoke. Aside from the blacksmiths and forgeries, trains that passed by had also contributed to the smoke. But the pollution it produced wasn’t much compared to infrastructures’.

As soon as Grey entered his house, his uncle, who adopted him, asked. “Grey, why up so early?” His voice was calm and he spoke softly and slowly like an old man. Arthur Linn, Grey’s uncle, was believed to be untouchable in combat. As mentioned, he was a veteran swordsman, a great warrior indeed. His arms were swift as a dragon's claws striking for the sky and his eyes were as accurate as an eagle's. When unarmed, he releases swift blows from his fists, punching alternately with repition. He had no scars and no defeats. Without a single doubt about his strength, Grey was always worried about his uncle's health. He was already in his fifty’s yet he still led armies to battle. Most of the time, he’d volunteer to be a front-liner. And at times of ceasefire, younger warriors sought duels with him.

“Uh… I-I was… uhh…” Grey thought quickly about his next words. Telling his uncle that he got up early and went to the cliffside would have caused him to ask for more information which might lead to the truth about the explosion while making a convincing alibi seemed to be safe. “I heard an explosion so I… went to check it out.”

“Is that so…?” his uncle replied. “Then you must have the feet of a bandit to leave the house without me noticing. Oh well… Breakfast is ready.” The old man slid a bowl of porridge towards Grey.

Grey took a seat and started eating. As he took a scoop, he slowly opened his mouth and paused. His uncle noticed that Grey paid no attention to his meal. He had seemed to be staring at a void of blank space thinking of something. “Grey, is anything wrong?”

“It’s nothing,” he replied. He didn’t make any eye contact whatsoever. He just stared at his half-eaten meal. “I… gotta go.” Grey rushed upstairs to the attic, ignoring his uncle’s calls and questions.

Light from a window shined upon the crimson blade. Grey stared at it with his tired eyes. Back so soon…? Come. Take my power! Grey ignored the voice in his head and sheathed the blade. “Uncle can’t see me with this…” Grey took a backpack from his room and stuffed it with a few books from the two shelves in his room, a feather pen, and some extra clothes. Grey returned to the attic, opened a circular window, exited through it, and found himself standing on the roof, eight feet above the ground. Thinking of a way to get down, Grey analyzed the village from the rooftop.

Grey: Can’t I just jump?

Narrator: *makes a lightning bolt strike Grey by narrating it* I told you to pretend I’m not here!

*Ehem* Grey noticed a pole where the water flows down from the roof when it rains. He slid down using it. “Heh, that seemed better than jumping! Now it’s time to meet up with Ashley and Drake by that old windmill.” Grey wore his backpack and started to get moving.

As he passed by the burning forgery, numerous townsfolk gathered around and were talking about the “accident”. Ignoring them Grey decided to just pass them and head towards the windmill and the town’s border. The windmill had been abandoned for five years. Ever since power plants and generators had been introduced, there was no longer any use for it. Farmlands were converted to blacksmiths and homes and people just had to depend on their small gardens and caravans that supplied them with food. The building was wooden, made of oak. Because of the lack of maintenance, the place had become a wreckage. Even weak gusts of wind were known to blow debris off.

Grey had finally reached the mill. Trying to relax, he breathed deeply and supported his hands on his thighs.

“Heh, took ‘ya long enough.” Drake spoke with his middle and pointing fingers bending like a quotation mark.

“Anyway,” interrupted Ashley as she took a small notepad from her pocket. “Since I couldn’t trust that you boys would be responsible enough, I made a check-list.”

“I told you we should’ve just left her!” shouted Grey.

“Ehem, as I was saying,” continued Ashley as she took a pencil. “Do any of you have… extra clothes?”

“Check!” the two replied. Drake spoke as he examined his backpack while Grey depended on his memory.

This routine went on and on until Drake interrupted. “We get it, Ashley. Boys aren’t as irresponsible as you think. We have our survival instincts, ‘ya know. Now it’s my turn, do any of you have a weapon?” Grey remained silent as he drew the crimson blade from its sheath. Drake gave Ashley a teasing look. “What about you, Ashley?” he asked.

The girl blushed and looked at Drake scoldingly. Her legs remained still and her hands were at her waist. She leaned her body towards Drake, and made close eye contact. “Do you expect me to carry a weapon?”

Drake remained calm, closed his eyes and waggled his finger in front of her. “Tsk tsk tsk… yeah. Maybe you’re not meant to be armed. After all, who’d want you to survive in our journey? I mean, think of all those dark spooky forests with… WOLVES!!! Yeah, no need to bring a weapon...” Drake spoke so calmly that it annoyed Ashley.

“Fine, I’ll go get one… or do you already have one?”

“Sorry,” Drake replied. “All I got is this K56 Bladecannon.” The two looked at Drake suspiciously. “Wha-whaaat…? Do you expect me to carry explosives and such?”

“Uhh…” Before Grey could say no, Drake continued.

“Fine, fine; ‘ya got me.” Drake kicked a mound of wreckage and took a sack filled with small silver balls from under it. They were about five inches in diameter and on each of them, was a red button. “Use them with care. They’re limited and the explosions have a range of up to two and a half meters.”

“No, thanks, Drake. I’ll just depend on the protection you two ‘gentlemen’ will provide me. So umm, we’re we headed to?”

“I got three train tickets here.” Drake pulled three small pieces of paper from his pocket. “We’re towards Hasaf Wyvern.”

“But isn’t that in one of those high-tech towns which seem to be the center of trades and industries?” Grey asked.

“Yup, but not just that. Hasaf Wyvern is a tower, or should I say a keep? That’s General Garrin’s stronghold.”

“So, if we’re headed to the station, why’d we meet up here?” Ashley asked.

“This is the only place in town I could think of where we could talk privately... besides the cliff that is. One thing for sure is that we couldn’t do it in my place. My room doesn’t even have a door. Talk about lack of privacy…” Drake replied. He closed his eyes as he spoke, his upper arms made contact with his body, he elevated his lower arms, and opened his palms. This had always been the way he acted when he talked about how annoying his home was. “Besides…” Drake opened his eyes and pointed at the station. “It’s not like the station is in the opposite direction of where we are now. It’s just a few minutes' walk from here. Anyway, let’s get a move-on. I've got business with Garrin…”




Crimzon5 -> RE: The Bane of this World | A comedic epic (yeah right!) tale (12/6/2008 9:13:55)

Watching views and scenes come and go, the three remained silent onboard. The train had five parts: two engine rooms on each end and three passenger rooms. Each passenger room had twelve rows of seats and each row contained a pair of five seats. Each seat was a bright emerald color and was three-quarters of a meter in width.

Drake was leaning on his side, resting his right elbow by the window, and supporting his forehead with his palm during the entire trip while the others decided to recline their seats and go to sleep. Four hours had past when the moment of silence was broken by the loud screech coming from the whistle on top of the train.

“Alright, we’re here. It’s just a couple of steps to Hasaf Wyvern.” Drake said as he pointed to a nine-story tower. The tower, now General Garrin’s keep, was tall of course but also slightly damaged. The tower was originally blue but was now pitch-black due to burns caused by raiders. The keep still remained standing though; only the outer-most layer was burned. A piece of wet cloth could clean the ash off. The undamaged windows were similar to the upper half of an oval while the damaged ones appeared to be large holes in the tower. At the top of the building was a golden giant wyvern-statue. The mouth was open as if it were breathing fire, while the neck extended forward causing the head to be thrust forward as well, giving it an enraged look. The tail, which used to be wrapped around the tower, was cut off. Many believed that it was stolen by pirates but actually, cannon-fire from an invasion sixty years ago caused it to fall and the villagers “mined” gold from it. The town's houses were made of metal and wood. Automatic doors opened and shut at the sense of a human who possessed a certain genetic code, and flashy lights that seemed to do nothing were all over the place. Houses were crammed together due to the density of the population. Solid stone walls and four sturdy gates surrounded the city.

“Wow, that keep sure is ugly! Garrin must be blind or somethin’ to choose to live in a place like thi-,” insulted Grey.

Drake covered Grey’s mouth as he extended his left arm. “This is one of the towns that frequently gets attacked. Repairing damages would just waste their time… Actually, Garrin chose the tower as his keep so that it would draw attention during combat; he’s waiting for that tower to fall down so that he could build a better keep in its place. Just demolishing it would cause the townsfolk to complain and rebel. After all, almost everyone nowadays is superstitious,” he interrupted. His voice seemed cold. He didn't look at Grey, but kept his hand securely clamped around Grey's mouth. His undivided attention was on the monumental tower.

Hmm... Garrin sure doesn’t sound like a good leader... thought Ashley as she remained silent the whole time.

“Anyway,” continued Drake. “Let’s get a move-on.” The two followed Drake as he led the way. Once they had reached the keep, a large adamantine door stood before them. Two heavily armored knights were positioned beside the door, one on each side. The knight standing at the right side -if facing the door- was armed with a halberd while the other was armed with a mace. They both held their weapon with their right hand and a shield with the Wyvern’s logo on their left. Each had a round helmet which covered their entire head. The floor around the tower was tiled with sapphire-blue rocks. Unlike Grey’s village, the rocks were all square and of the same size. Ignoring the guards, Drake continued to walk forward. His irises were slightly shaking.

Ashley and Grey tried to follow but were halted by the guards’ weapons as they blocked the path. “Hey, how come Drake gets to get inside!?” complained Grey. The guards remained silent while one of them pointed at a pathway to the left with his halberd. “Hmm… okay, I… guess,” replied Grey. The pair headed towards the direction the guards pointed to and circled the keep. At the opposite side of Garrin’s stronghold was another door. Unlike the entrance, the backdoor was wooden, only nine feet high, and was atop a flight of stairs with six guards; three on each side separated by four steps between each other. Each guard had a round shield with the Wyvern’s logo. The first pair of knights was armed with a one-handed sword, the guards on the fifth row were armed with maces while the guards on the last were armed with axes.

Ashley: Are you sure this is the backdoor?

Narrator: Yes; it is.

Grey: Hey, how come you don’t strike her with lightning?

Narrator: *makes a ship fall on Grey by narrating it* I told you to pretend I’m not here!

Grey: … Favoritism…


Drake was standing in an offensive stance at the center of the arena. Small fires danced across the ground as a mage juggled and threw balls of intense heat. Drake felt as if it was a meteor shower. Drake's legs were wide apart with the left one in front while the right behind him. His left arm was extended forward towards his opponent with an open palm while his right held his Bladecannon behind his back as he prepared to swing it for great impact. He was breathing deeply. Obviously, Grey and Ashley had missed the start of the battle. His opponent was a mage in-training from the Staff Maiden Academy. He wore white robes with a hood which masked his face in the shadows and white slippers with black straps. He was armed with a wooden staff.

“Had enough of my fireballs? You’re no match for me; give up now,” bragged the student. Pride began to fill his heart.

“No… not yet…” Drake wiped some sweat from his face with his left hand. “You’re just a student, an amateur. I won’t lose to you!”

*Editor's note: Do not copy-paste from Notepad... strange things happen...




Crimzon5 -> RE: The Bane of this World | A comedic epic (yeah right!) tale (12/6/2008 9:15:02)

Anger, hatred, and rage
Unleash my full power
Eliminate the weak and futile
…Now let’s finish ‘em off in style!


The mage held his chest with his left hand and laughed. “You can’t even touch me. My barrier is an unbreakable shield. What you have is a puny little toy.”

“…Heh, I’d be very embarrassed to… lose to a toy. But then… since I’M the one ‘playing’ with it… you won’t be the laughingstock in class.” Though seemingly very exhausted, Drake’s voice was taunting.

Drake ran towards his competitor with his right hand continuing to be behind his back. When he was a foot away, he took a big leap, swung his right arm overhead, exerted more force to his weapon with his left hand, and tried to stab him. His swift movement was caused him to appear as a dragon's claw scratching its prey. “Take… THIS!

The mage grinned. With a click of a finger he conjured a barrier. His enchanted shield was all around him. It was visible though; it had a transparent-blue appearance. The light emitted by the barrier banished the shadows from the student’s face. When Drake’s weapon had made contact, he was pushed back. Dust rose as his shoes slid three feet from his target. The floor in the arena wasn’t cemented; it was filled with a compacted layer of soil. Making another attempt, Drake rushed forward and kept stabbing the barrier by swinging his weapon back-and-forth overhead. In order to keep in his place, his planted his legs on the ground. His right leg was in front this time.

The mage laughed maniacally. “Mwahahaha! I’m invincible.” His crazed laughter stopped as sound of a shattered shard echoed in his ears. “What?!” Drake grinned in reply as the crack kept on getting larger and larger. Seeing a weak point, the warrior continued to stab the damaged barrier. “Stop that!”

“Heh, just... as I thought; you only have a level one barrier. Don’t expect to learn much as a trainee.” The mage remained silent but the expression in his eyes was furious. Trying to turn the tables, the mage removed his barrier as a scarlet light gathered into a ball in his hands. Before he could release the fireball, however, he noticed Drake's weapon pointing directly at him. Drake was supporting his SWORD with his left hand, the finger on his right tight on the trigger. “’Ya know, you should’ve waited for an opening. Oh wait… your defense was already breaking. Heh, I guess I win.”

Drake lowered his weapon and hung it by his back. Turning his back on his defeated foe, he started to walk towards the exit. But even at his distance, he could hear the mage’s instructor scolding him. “I told you: all you need to win is to protect yourself. And don’t let your pride get the best of you.”

'All you need to win is to protect yourself'… Those words are the words I’ve been livin’ with.




Crimzon5 -> RE: The Bane of this World | A comedic epic (yeah right!) tale (12/6/2008 9:16:05)

Chapter 3: Community Service

Grey faced Ashley excitedly. "Woah! I sure hope to never anger Drake again."

“Yeah. He even saved us from five wolves. Hmm… now where’s he headed?” asked Ashley.

The two left the arena and descended the flight of stairs. Oddly, the six guards had disappeared. Telling himself to worry and think about their disappearance later, Grey ran across the stone floor swiftly. Ashley tried to follow but couldn’t match with Grey’s speed. Grey circled the keep's floor clockwise thrice, *saying an annoying “hi” to Ashley each time he passed her, but saw no signs of Drake anywhere.

Grey paused and stared to his right as armored knights rushing towards the Western Gate. Grey followed them to check what was going on. The studded wooden gate stood twelve feet tall, operated by a pulley. It was wide open, and under attack. It had a metal décor: two rows each with three shimmering balls attached to squares built on the door.

“Lord Garrin, the hill trolls are overwhelming us this time. They’ve even allied with the rebel troops!”

All I need for this tower to fall. Then I can start protecting this town… Garrin remained silent as he listened. He was about eight feet tall and very muscular. He had a short black beard with its bottom curled up. His great strength allowed him to hold a two-handed sword in each hand and he wore a silver breastplate with a red cape. He knelt on his left leg, supported his elbow with his right thigh, and rested his head on his palm. His fingers touched his face as they slowly rubbed his cheeks and his chin. He observed with his keen eyes as he grinned. “Anything else?”

“S-sir,” the knight replied. “A man claiming to be Linn has joined the defense.”

“Arthur Linn!? I thought he’s still on his off for three more months.” Though seemingly surprised, he was furious by the news. With Arthur Linn protecting the town, the Wyvern’s keep would be in safe hands.

“No, Sir. Actua-“ Before the knight could finish, Grey took a big leap and jumped over Garrin who was near the entrance of the gate. As he landed on his right shin and left foot, a small gust blew his hair making a “cool” appearance.


Drake: Hey, Narrator, how come he gets to copy my style?

Narrator: Shh… wait for it, wait for it…

Grey: Hey, how come you don’t strike him with lighting? Or make a boat fall on him or something? Or how about making a portal suck him in?

Narrator: I told you to-

Grey: You know, you kinda need something new. It’s kinda getting pretty lame repeating the whole “hurt Grey by narrating it” thing.

Narrator: Any suggestions?

Grey: Uh, none at the moment.

Narrator: Okay. In the meantime *Makes a flock of small cute little birds peck Grey by narrating it*

Grey: Ha! Is that all you’ve got? Man, you’re running out of ideas!

Narrator: *makes a pterodactyl come in*

Grey: Mommy!!!

Narrator: She's dead!

Grey: NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!


Grey drew his sword, rushed towards the army of trolls, and hacked his way through the enemy lines. “Heh, so this is where Drake is. Can’t let him have all the fun… Oh wait, he’s sharing it with the knights.”

Swordsmen slashed and hacked their way through. Archers sent a rain of fiery arrows upon the invading force. Mages released fireballs and summoned barriers to protect their comrades and gunslingers pulled their triggers. Trolls operated catapults and sent a rain of earth from the skies. While rebel mercenaries stealthed in and stab the knights from their backs. The battlefield was covered blood, corpses, and surviving warriors.

Garrin stood up and tapped the thrilled boy by his right shoulder. “Aren’t you a lively one?” Garrin drew his blades. If Linn really is here, then I better pretend to be worried about to town by protecting it. Garrin’s swords –as already mentioned- were two-handed swords. His left hand held a scarlet blade with a yellow hilt while his right one wielded a sky-blue sword with a dark-blue hilt. Garrin wasn’t only a warrior. He also knew a bit of magic. He was known to channel fire and ice energy into his blades and cast elemental balls from his palm. Grey and Garrin fought back-to-back. The battle raged on.

“Boy, what’s your name?” Garrin asked as he stabbed a troll by its heart.

“Grey. Grey Von Linn.”

What!? So this it the Linn that knight was talking about. I should’ve known. But it’s too late to stop fighting now… Ah, I can see some of his grandfather’s blood in his veins by the way he fights. They always did say that Arthur’s father was a skilled as him… or even better. “Very well then, Linn. Show me what you’ve got.”



*Editor’s note. I wonder if I should’ve put the distance around the tower and the speed of the two. I’d be great to calculate for their LCM (Least Common Multiple). Hmm… then if Grey had met with Ashley in less than four rounds, then Ashley must be slow, Grey must be fast, and/or the area surrounding the keep has a large circumference. Well, she is running with a skirt (check the picture in Comments Page).




Crimzon5 -> RE: The Bane of this World | A comedic epic (yeah right!) tale (12/6/2008 9:17:16)

Grey remained silent but nodded in reply. As he fought, he observed Garrin's movements in combat. He held his left sword with his thumb under its hilt. In the other hand –literally-, he held his right blade with its hilt under his pinky. Strange style... but effective. Maybe I'll try that...

Grey tripped a troll over with his legs and plunged his crimson sword into its chest. Like every other troll in the invading army, Grey's victim had no armor and was equipped only with a long iron sword. The troll was about five feet tall, an average height for trolls; it had a dark grayish-green skin, and yellow eyes. Its teeth were decayed; some were yellow, some were rotten-black. Grey took the corpse's weapon and imitated Garrin's fighting-style. However, Grey held the cursed blade in his right the standard way while his left held the troll's sword with it's hilt touching his left-most finger as if it were a dagger. Grey fought with his crimson blade slashing vertically and his stolen iron blade slashing horizontally. All Grey heard was the clashings of swords and the screaming of warriors.

"Grey, look out!" Garrin's hard voice cried out.

Grey turned around. A troll was up-close in front of him. Before Grey could react, the troll delivered him a swift solid punch. Grey was knocked cold.


Grey slowly opened his eyes. His vision was blurry though. All he could see were two figures with yellow tops. “Urgh…” His weariness caused him to faint.

Morning came.

Grey woke up. He was lying on a bed with a white bed cover. On him was a blanket of the same color. His head was lying on soft, comfy pillow about thrice the size of his head. He stood up and noticed other injured soldiers lying on their beds. It was obvious to him that he was in the tower’s pharmacy. Next to him was an archer who lost his right leg. Other soldiers had even worse casualties. A knight suffered from a third-degree burn, while another archer lost his head. Why is he in the pharmacy? He should fertilizer by now…

“Heh, glad to see ‘ya on your feet.” Drake said as he entered the room.

“It’s just a bruise by my cheek. Umm, where’s Ashley?” Grey asked as he bended his body to his right searching behind Drake.

“Heh, did I just hear things right?” He spoke teasingly though.

“Oh, here you go again saying the ‘Grey-likes-Ashley-thing’” replied Grey. “We both know that you’re the one who likes her.” Grey gave Drake a taunting smile.

Drake remained silent and paused for a while. He stared at the floor with his forehead resting on his palm and his right fingers touching his bangs. “Uh, anyways, Ashley’s in the torture chamber…”

“Really? Not surprised… what did she do this time?” Grey spoke calmly. It wasn’t his style of talking though. It had seemed as if he was just acting out.

Drake raised his head and his right eyebrow. “Oh c’mon! You know that she’s the most well-mannered among the three of us. If she did something wrong, you would’ve done something else worse… maybe even ten folds!”

“You’re just saying that ‘cuz you like her… Yiiieeee!” teased Grey

Drake sighed. “We’ve captured one of the trolls and Garrin is trying to make it spill the beans on the rebels’ location.”

“Oh! Then I better watch. So, where’s this torture room?

“Follow me…” Drake led the way across the stone-built hall. It was a hall of paintings of terrains and wonderful scenes. People wondered if the artists made it up from their imaginations or if their land was really more beautiful before. Canopies were unburned and green. Trees could boast out their pleasant display if leaves, animals roamed around freely, and houses were made of wood and straw.

As they made a turn at the end of the hall, Grey noticed that his sheath was empty. “Drake, have you seen my sword?”

“Heh, you were lucky I got your back there. After that troll punched you, it took your sword. Most-likely it was planning to stab you with it. And luckily, I was there to blast with some gunpowder from my Bladecannon!” Drake bragged.

“Suuuuurrreeeee… So, umm… where’s my blade?”

“Err… unfortunately… the troll used its last seconds to throw the sword to its comrades. Then they kinda… passed it around. After that, the rebellious humans retreated and left the trolls to die. Heh, I guess they only used those beasts as fodder.”

Grey remained silent for the rest walk. Drake led him to seven feet tall door. From there, they could smell the stench of blood and the sounds of whips. Grey pushed the door open. The room had an area of eighty-one square meters. The floor was made of stones as well but was stained with blood. The room had no windows. It was hot in there alright; even the audience sweated. Ashley and twelve knights stood around the center of the room where a wooden chair stood. Tied to it was a bloody troll. Its right eye was punched several times causing it to be battered up black and blue. Garrin stood in front of the troll… whipping its bottom several times.

“Grey, you’re just in time,” greeted Garrin. “I’ve warned this troll, but it didn’t give me any answers. I want you to finish it off.” Garrin offered Grey his cobalt sword. Its blade was pointing at the ground. “Come on; take it…”

Grey paused as he thought for a moment. Drake lowered his head and stared at the floor again. The impression on his face was filled with pity and disappointment. The knights remained standing straight as if they were mere statues while Ashley covered her eyes with her left hand.

“S-sure…” Grey took hold of the sword’s handle with his right hand first and held it also with his left hand. Grey stared at the troll in the eyes. He could see it struggling in pain and fear as it roared and growled ferociously. Grey’s faced seemed to complain as his eyes were slightly open. He frowned for a short moment.

Silence broke as a pitiful scream ran through the troll’s throat. The cobalt blade pierced the beast’s side deeply.

Ashley slowly separated her fingers leaving space for her to see through.

“Well done, boy. Not even my son, your friend Drake, could even fulfill such task. It takes a strong will to kill something so... pitiful,” complimented Garrin. “I’ll tell you what. You can keep that sword… as long as you two accept my offer – to join the knights!”

“Drake’s your son?! But you’re so cool and- uh, anyways… Sure. C’mon Drake!”

“No, I’m already one of the knights. My father was talking about Ashley. You should’ve seen her. She’s a gunslinger-prodigy!” replied Drake as he slowly shook his head.

“What?!” Grey faced Garrin and explained, “Pardon me, kind sir, but if Drake made you recruit her for-“ Grey faced the young knight with a teasing smile, “some ‘puposes’, let me tell you… that she only won in our water gun fight because I wasted all my ammo on Drake!”

“Hey!” interrupted Ashley.

“Calm down Ashley. So, do you two accept? Squires get fifty percent discounts and free stays in Bulbag’s Inn,” persuaded Garrin.

“Sure! Hey… what’s the catch?”

“Community… Service.”

Narrator: Mwahahahahaha!




Crimzon5 -> RE: The Bane of this World | A comedic epic (yeah right!) tale (12/6/2008 9:18:16)

The three stood around in a small circle just outside the keep’s adamantine door. The terrain was so quiet that the only sound came from birds chirping. Early breezes of winter blew, snatching the yellow leaves from the haven of branches. “Okay, guys. Garrin gave us a list of all the ‘chores’ we have to do. Let’s see… hmm… Staff Maiden Academy is first on the list. Now, Grey,” called out Ashley as she pointed her finger on the list. “Do you want be a teacher? The subject isn’t specified though; I wonder why.”

“Ash,” Drake interrupted, “remember what happened last time? He taught the kids poker! I’ll do it.”

“Fine, fine, what about the cafeteria guy?”

“It depends,” Grey disrupted “what’s their menu?”

“Uh-oh… blueberry stuff…”

“Okay, I’ll take it!” shouted Grey.

Drake grabbed Grey by his arms from the back and locked him. Grey’s arms were twisted; he could feel uncontrollable pain coming from Drake’s arms to his. “Resist, Grey, resist!” Grey struggled with his legs swinging up and down.

“I’ll take that task,” said Ashley as patted Grey on the head. Such soft touch made Drake slightly envious. “Grey, that leaves you as the janitor.”

“Awww… man!”


Grey was mopping a long checkered hall. Several wooden doors with screens stood there. Like other schools, there were green lockers; some damaged, some closed, and some opened. Grey grumbly mopped; that was the only noise he heard until a door busted open with several kids wearing sleeveless shirts and red pants rushed out. “Wait, we haven’t done dodge ball yet,” a familiar voice shouted.

“Drake, you’re the coach? Hehe, that white shirt and green pants go with you. Umm, what happened there?”

“Kids nowadays… afraid of coaches…”

“Staff Maiden is a sorcery school, right? Then what’s physical class like this doing here?” Grey asked as he dropped his mop.

“Simple,” Drake replied, “the principal told me I could teach any subject I wanted. Anyways, I worked out an appetite. Time to head to the cafeteria and see Ashley…

Drake calmly pushed the door open. The floor- similar the hall’s- was also checkered black and white. Several seats had already been filled and the line was empty. The tables were even classified by the student’s rank in “society”; there was a cheerleader table, a nerd’s table, and even an Ice Ball team player table.

“Heh, so they do have some kind of varsity.” Drake slowly approached the counter. “Hey, Ashley, what’s up?”

“Drake, you’re just in time. We have to go. We’re only supposed to be here ‘til lunch. Umm… where’s Grey?”


In a small classroom, with six seats around in a circle stood was Grey, seated in one of them with five students, two of which were females. The males wore gray cloaks and hoods while he females wore checkered skirts of gray and green and gray shirts. “Anyone beat a flush from six to ten?” The kids threw their cards at the floor, took their backpacks and left. “Hah, I win again. Hey, you owe me sixty Saphrons each! Seesh, at least I didn’t pull anything from red sleeves this time.”


“Now, Grey, it’s just three hundred Saphrons. Besides… we have another task. Guess we’re all gonna be even on this once,” comforted Drake as he stared on the floor shaking his head and tapping Grey’s back.

“Nooooootttt…. Exactly,” interrupted Ashley. “They only need two janitors… I’ll be using my discount on the salon.”

Grey remained silent but gave Drake an annoyed look. “So… all we need is to be janitors in Low Co. Seesh, what kind of name is that!?”

“It’s short for Low Price Corporation. We gave it that nickname because some of their ideas get… really crazy…”


It was another hall but this time it was marble and plain white. Several automatic doors which fingerprint scanners stood. At the ends of the hall were brown wooden tables with glass vases with water and yellow roses. “Let’s split up. I’ll take the R&D room and you… take any random door you want. Garrin has already taken care of the fingerprints,” suggested Drake. As he opened the door, a wreckage caught his attention (like you could miss it). “Hmm… seems quiet. Just a bunch of stools knocked down, some spills, broken test tubes, and… potato chips? Oh well… it’s not like mutants are behind me.” Suddenly, he felt a light tap on his shoulder. He could feel a slimy finger touching him. “Me and my big mouth… Eat Gunpowder, abominations!”

Grey in the other hand did nothing but stand around as he decided which door to pick. “Hmm… left or right? Maybe I should use my secret tactic to choose between two hard decisions. It has never failed me; even in those hundred life-and-death situations! Eeeny, Meeny, Myyyy Neee Mo! Okay, left it is.”

Grey placed his palm on the scanner as a green flash of light examined his hand and turned the knob open. Several men in suits, some with briefcases in front of them, were seated around a long table. “We need to come up with a new product. Something… cheap,”

“Chairman, sir… maybe we should ask the public what they want. Like umm… that janitor over there who’s spying on us…”

“You there,” the chair man called out. “The guy with a mop and red sleeves, come over here. What ideas do you have?”

“Well…” thought Grey as he rubbed his chin and approached them. “What about canned leftovers! No, wait! Instead of cans, use plastic!”

“This guy is good. Tell me, boy, how old are you?”

“Seventeen. I’ll be Eighteen in two months,” replied Grey with a big smile.


Drake stood with one leg kneeling on the blood-spilled floor. His right cheek and right upper arm were scratched. Blood dripped from his left nostril as he breathed heavily. “Grey… should be finished with… the rest of the rooms by now…” he sighed.


“And… maybe we– I mean you guys should think about making-“

Drake blasted the steel door open. His hair was wet and combed with gel and bandages were wrapped around his arm. “Grey, so that’s where you were! You made me do all the cleaning!”

“But, but I-I…”

“Grey, we gotta go. That’s it for the day.” Drake grabbed Grey by the arms, locked him and left.

“There goes the product-prodigy… I really liked his second-handed tissue paper idea…”

"That was nothing, Sir. The one thousand-piece jigzaw puzzle with each piece sold seperately was genius!"




Crimzon5 -> RE: The Bane of this World | A comedic epic (yeah right!) tale (12/6/2008 9:19:44)

Chapter 4: Undesired Actions

It was morning. Unlike Grey’s village, smoke poured from factories instead of blacksmiths. It was either the production of appliances or the supplying of bullets and missiles. The three were in the same room, located in the forth floor of Bulbag’s Inn. The floor was made from varnished oak, as well as the walls. The glass windows were polished clean. It would’ve had been great if they had a good view of the town. All they could see was one of the last remaining farms from a hundred miles. The bed, kitchen, dining, and living rooms were just next to each other. Neither walls nor doors separated them from another. From the entrance of the door the first steps would lead you through the living room. It had a small wooden table, about six square feet in area, surrounded by a sofa and three steal chairs.

Ashley slept soundlessly across the entrance of the room on a soft spring cushion bed with her head relaxing on a phoenix feather-stuffed pillow. In the small living room, near the entrance was where the other two slept. Drake was on the sofa with a scarlet cover. His legs bent as their joints were placed on the left armrest. The pleasure of Grey’s dream filled with “hot chicks” was ruined by the ringing sound of an alarm clock. “Aww man! It was getting good! Dang you Narrator!” The swordsman stood up from a sleeping bag positioned in front of the door. He yawned as he stretched his arms upward. Annoyed by the sound, Drake, who was lying on his front, threw his cushion at Grey. “Hey!”

Just then, Garrin opened the door, sending Grey flying and landing back on his sleeping bag. Like always, he wore his armor as if he had never removed it. “What’s going on?” yawned Ashley as she sat on her legs with a pink tipped black sleeping patch covered her eyes.

“Get up, Ashley. Garrin’s here,” ordered Drake. “Man, this community service in annoying!” Drake took another cushion and covered his head.

“You’re in luck, knights!” announced Garrin with a small grin on his face. “Today, no community service! After what Grey has done… no more community service for him. My nephew wants each and every piece of the jigsaw puzzle for his birthday but each piece is sold separately… Today, I’m sending you on your first mission!”

“Greeeattt…” said Grey with a tired and sarcastic tone. “Let me guess… rumor has it that Anchor Range, the nearest town from here, is where the rebels live. And you’re gonna send us there to investigate. And then, if it’s true, I’ll help Drake test the atomic shell for his BladeCannon on them.”

“That’s ridiculous!” commented Drake as he finally decided to sit down and stop sleeping.

“Correct, Grey. You must’ve sneaked into my headquarters and read the mission plans.”

“No, I read your diary. And is it true that Drake is your second favorite?” replied Grey. “Anyways, I’ll be going then. I’m very excited.” Grey slid between Garrin’s legs and ran across the hall.

“Oh no you don’t,” frustrated Garrin.

“Don’t worry, my father who plays favorites. He’ll be back. I know he won’t let the ‘chicks’ see him in his PJ’s”

Knock knock

“Who’s there?” giggled Ashley.

“It’s me Grey. I need my coin pouch. I’m going on a date with a brunette… actually… two. Did you know they ‘dig’ PJ’s nowadays? They look good with my red sleeves. Sure is a good thing that I have a dozen of identical clothes. Now, if you would be so kind-”

Garrin opened the door with a large grin on his face. “Tell them to wait… we’re going have a talk.”

“Aww man!”


Drake and Grey knelt on their left legs above a cliff. The morning breeze blew their hair to the east. They were a hundred feet away from the village’s ground. The town wasn’t called Anchor Range for nothing, you know. The town was located at seaside. Breezes exchanged from land to sea and sea to land. The ground was full of muddy puddles and moist clay while the edge of the town where the townsfolk cast their boats and fish was cemented. Houses were made of wood painted white and blue while stenches blew from storehouses of fish.

“It was sure of nice of Garrin to drop us in the forest two miles from here to spy on them. Now, Drake, how do you feel about Ashley not being here and excavating ‘Lost Technology’?” teased Grey.

“Not now,” replied Drake in an annoyed tone as he covered Grey’s mouth with his left hand. “Looks like there’s something going on…”




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