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r0de0b0y -> RE: The Orc Knight comments thread (7/21/2009 14:06:35)
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Has the cavalry arrived? No? Then I guess I'll have to do. I've only read a little, not even near half.
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One was a very large being, with fur covered all over it and two horns on its head. It held and axe and brutally murdered any of my knights who dared oppose it.
A "d". A "d". A "d" I see.
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Two bandits ran forward to flank him, and swing their axes in a horizontal pattern.
Swung.
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It was not uncommon for two bandits to swing from different sides, have General Tommy duck, and them accidentally hitting the other in the wrist.
Sounds weird, but maybe that's just me. Perhaps try "then accidentally hit the other in the wrist"?
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However, he shrugged it off, haven gotten used to the destruction that often followed his master.
Having.
Will read more later, given time. I've gotta admire your productivity. Keep on going. Row row, fight da powah. Thinking about what Crimz said, detail and dialogue are both good. If you wanna add more description, go ahead. If not, then don't. You could be blunt, not Hemmingway levels of blunt-ocity, but still. Your story is short, sweet, and too the point. Props for having a "badass" protagonist, even if it's a archtypical one. 'splodin daggers was just extra icing.
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