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Crimzon5 -> RE: Forbidden to Love You (1/6/2009 7:03:37)
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Chapter 2:
I lay down on my bed, pillows over my face. My door was closed, and had a large ‘No Entry’ sign hanging outside. I was enjoying a quiet, peaceful nap, comfortably dressed in my red shirt with white sleeves and a pair of green shorts, when my cell phone started to ring. It rang for about fifteen seconds. Pissed off by the sound, I took the phone quickly from the table next to my bed. My tension disappeared as I discovered that Jennifer was the caller. For a few seconds, I thought about whether to answer it or not. She was my girlfriend, but I had seemed to be at a bad mood during that time.
I concluded my thoughts, telling myself that I had to answer it. But as I looked on the phone, I saw two things. My wallpaper, a picture of Jennifer and I together in casual clothing. If I remembered correctly, it was taken during a date we had at the mall. What I also saw was the phrase “1 missed call”. And of course, the dial tune was gone. I sighed as I slowly dialed her number. I found it much faster than looking for her name in my phonebook. But before I could finish, my phone rang with a short, fast tune. I noticed that Jennifer sent me a text message.
I was surprised with its contents, but even more astonished by her speed in texting. I predicted it to be a long message, knowing that she had a lot to say. Jennifer’s message used no shortcuts, which proved more that her fingers were quick.
Hey. I saw you with Bailey earlier this day.
That was pretty much it. Rereading it then made me think that she… wasn’t that fast after all. But even with that short pair of sentences, her intention made a clear entrance into my mind. I tried replying to her message by texting back, but then I got lazy. Instead, I dialed her number again. She picked her phone right away and answered me.
“Hello?” she said.
“Hey, Jenny… it’s about Bailey,” I replied.
I noticed a bit of anger in her next words. “Dean, I thought we had it going!”
“It was just a wave and a hi,” I reasoned out as I tried my best to be calm, despite the words going on in my head. Dang! Jennifer, stop it! I’m trying my best to resist.
“Just a hi?!” she repeated. “That was how we started. We were classmates that time, remember?” I remained silent for a while, thinking what to say next.
“Well, the difference with her is that I didn’t have a girlfriend when we, you and I, were just starting.” My girlfriend was about to reply; I heard her utter a short syllable, but I continued, “Jen, come on! Don’t think of me as a cheater.” Those words gave me confidence, enough to rid me of my inner conflict.
I could hear her crying; even the way she spoke showed the signs. “I’m sorry, Dean.”
“Bah, it’s okay,” I comforted. “So,” I looked at my watch and continued, “I’ll meet you guys at park in thirty minutes from now, kay?”
She replied with a “sure” as I imagined her nodding. I was the first to press the ‘end call’ button, ending the conversation there. At that instant, I discerned that I was wrong about solving my inner conflict, and that I was only able to silence it for the moment’s sake. I quickly tossed my back onto the bed, but the pain I wanted to inflict on myself never came. My bed was just too soft, I guess.
I covered my face with a pillow, shouting as loud as I could, knowing that no one would hear me. For some reason, I was impatient for that day to be over and done with, waiting eagerly for tomorrow.
Morning came. My watch, next to my phone on the table, alarmed as I had programmed it to on 5:30 A.M. My eyes opened wide. Usually, I would stretch to stall for some time. But this time, I stood up right away and headed for the showers. I was still sleepy, but I let the heater cook up some warm water that gave me a sense of appeasement. Vapor escaped the shower room, diffusing towards all over the place as I opened the glass door. I then dried my hair first before anything else.
“Just a bunch of numbers and stuff to put on a pan,” I said to myself with a lively tone. “And with the tests over, movie time tomorrow at the mall!” With the towel wrapped around my waist, I walked towards my closet and picked out the first set of uniform I could lay my hands on. I attached my watch to my left wrist, stuffed my pocket with a handkerchief and my wallet, wore my backpack, and finally, went downstairs to fetch myself a snack. I wasn’t that hungry though, and I’d eat pretty much anything, so I took an apple from a bowl, washed it with some water, then took a bite.
While chewing, I checked my watch. It was 6:13. Mom usually targeted to leave at half past Six, so I still had about a quarter of an hour to do some stuff. I went back to my room and brushed my teeth at the bathroom sink. I also brushed my dark-brown hair (with a comb of course, not a toothbrush), which of course appeared to be black. And for hygienic purposes, I applied some facial wash on my face. Guaranteed to remove pimples – or at least what the advertisement said.
Having nothing to do, I entered my mother’s room. My two-year-old sister Gabrielle was in around a purple blanket, sleeping soundly. She was in between two pillows, which I suspected to have the purpose of protecting her from our parents in case they did some unintentional movements while they were sleeping. I noticed a small light coming from the restroom’s door. My sister was alone on the bed, making me think that my father had been taking a shower and that my mom had awakened already.
I approached cute, little Gabrielle and gently touched her palms. Smiling at her, I left and slowly closed the door. Similar to the one in school, the hinges were oxidized – or rusty for short. Fortunately they weren't creaky enough to wake my sister up.
I decided to wait for my mom in the garage. After I had arrived there, I saw that my dad's Fortuner wasn’t around. Dad must've left for work then. Hmm... makes sense; I didn't see mom on my way outside anyway.
For some unknown reason, I was uncontrollably anxious to go to school. What was the cause of my impatience? Was there something that was supposed to happen that day? I couldn’t find the answer. More questions started to buffet me. What’s happening to me? Why am I like this? Tapping my feet, I just remained on my place. My mom finally came out of the house. Satisfied, I said, “Finally!” at the instant she entered the car. Predicting what my mom was going to tell me, I buckled up my seatbelt without being told. I was going to have to do it anyway, right?
We were late by three minutes compared to our standard departure time. It was all right though, since the rush-hour wouldn’t start before Seven A.M. When it was just the two of us, my mom would always lead the prayer – which I was forced to recite with her as I was driven by fear. If not because of religion, what would morals be for then? I asked myself.
As soon as we arrived, I gave my mom a goodbye kiss on the cheek and ran as fast as I could, hearing her “I love you” before completely disappearing from her sight.
I assembled with the gang at our table. We were almost complete – just waiting for Jennifer to arrive. “Hey, where’s your girlfriend?” Carl teased.
“Yeah,” Tony continued, “she’s never the last to arrive.”
“Who knows, maybe she’ll be absent,” I quickly answered.
“So, how’d it go with you and Jennifer,” Elizabeth asked. Obviously, those words made me feel tense. Was she somehow related to my problems?
“I… uhh…”
Elizabeth gave me a look, her piercing eyes accompanied by the gesture of her eyebrows. “It’s okay,” she told me. I was a bit relieved that only Elizabeth knew about it among the group. It would be very frightening if especially Carl knew about it. Among the six of us, only he and Jennifer knew who Bailey really was. But in Elizabeth’s case, Bailey must’ve been only an issue addressed by her friend Jennifer.
“Oh… did they breakup?” Carl speculated. I shook my head and remained silent.
“So, tell us about it,” Paul said, finally making his entrance to the conversation despite being present from the very beginning. From my not-wanting-to-talk disposition, I took the aggressive side and stood up.
“I don’t wanna talk about it,” I said as I abandoned them. On my way out of the cafeteria, Jennifer, holding her leather bag in front of her, greeted me with a hi and a wave. “Hi,” I replied lifelessly. Even though I never turned my head to see what she did in reply, I knew that she met up with the other four. Familiar with them, I knew that the first thing they would say to Jennifer was going to be the truth – it started when Elizabeth brought up the topic to us, and it ended with me leaving.
“Dang!” I shouted as I punched my locker. I was completely isolated from my friends, and I tried hard not to mind the students that passed by, feeling very uncomfortable as I could see them look at me and hear them whisper among themselves. In addition to how bad the situation was, I heard a familiar voice call my name. His tone was sarcastic, which mean one thing… he was a school official… or someone that pretty much hated me.
“Mr. Viladoli, may I help you?” Sir Dan, our SUH, said.
“No sir,” I replied immediately, my hand still touching my locker and my face still turned away from him. “Just leave me alone.”
“I will,” he said, “as soon as you come to my office.” I looked at him, my face filled with curiosity. I didn’t recall violating any rules, even though it was always part of my schedule. “I’ll tell you once we get there,” he said. I nodded, following him as he led the way. I always saw that my frankness would be more noticeable if I showed some signs of subordination. Not much of a rebel actually, but still showing my assertiveness.
Dan opened the door, telling me to go in first. I obeyed, waiting for an opening to be frank. I took a seat in front of his table. He then entered as well, taking his seat on a large, wheeled, chair. It always gave me the impression that Sir thought of himself as an executive. “Ever since the start of the school year, you’ve been ignoring our warnings.” I gave no reply, knowing that he would continue to elaborate further what he meant. “This isn’t college,” he said.
“I know, so?” I replied.
“We have a policy regarding your hair, young man.”
“Don’t call me that,” I said back.
“Not only have you broken this policy, but you seem to show signs of insubordination as well,” he continued.
“Okay… so what’s my punishment?”
“Glad that you asked.” He stood up from his seat and stood behind me. “No need to look back,” he told me. However, I still turned my head to his direction, watching his every move. “I know that you are aware that next week is the school’s Christmas Fair, am I right?” He was walking back and forth, hands behind his back, returning my gaze with a stare on my eyes.
“Yeah,” I replied. “And what does this have to do with me? Am I unallowed to come? I never had any plans of coming anyway.”
“Oh, you can come – you must.” I twitched an eyebrow, asking for more details. “The fair will last for a week. It will include many programs and facilities like bazaars. Your job is to have perfect attendance and help out your fellow schoolmates who whole-heartedly volunteered to participate. You, Mister Viladoli, will be an usher. I’ve informed the volunteers at every station to monitor you if you come across their sight.”
“Ah, and if they have bad reports about me and if they say that it was if I didn’t exist in the fair, something bad will happen to me, right?”
“Yes. Remember, you’re graduating this year. With a little accessing of our database, we could suspend your graduation rights,” he taunted. I remained silent, for once feeling threatened. “With that done, you may return to class now,” he said.
“Thank you sir,” I said with a quiet, but hearable volume of voice.
“Thank you,” he replied as well. I closed the door upon my exit and headed upstairs.
Putting my bag on the floor, I took three pens from the front pocket of my bag and took my proper seat, assuming that no one was going to be absent or late. I was the only one not studying in the classroom. I could see math-inclined students tutoring my less fortunate classmates. Why, if I didn’t have a girlfriend, I would’ve been helping the girls with their math, I gagged. But then, the joke led to a piercing thought. I discovered that Jennifer was indeed related with my unidentified problem. But… what about Bai – ah, never mind.
There was no scheme that day, and no special seating arrangement. The proctor entered the classroom, telling the class to take a seat. Carl was behind me, as how things were supposed to be. Bailey however was seated on the first row of her column, again, how things were supposed to be. “What’s your problem man,” Carl said as he rested his hand on my shoulder.
“It’s none of your business and it’s better with less people involved,” I replied.
“Something that concerns my friends concerns me, too. Especially if the conflict is among themselves.”
“But by not involving in any way, there will be less progress with the conflict, allowing time to heal the damage,” I countered. “And remember, we still have a practical test after this; don’t let things get to you there.” With those words, I thrust my self forward away from him thus, ending the conversation.
As soon as the papers were passed, everyone became quiet. Things were going smoothly. The test was so easy that cheating did not have to be an option for me. However, that made me forget about my friend. “Psst,” Carl whispered. I gave no reply, but he continued. “What’s number nineteen?” My fist started to shake, even my answers started to become illegibly written. “Pssssttt!” he whispered louder.
Annoyed, I wrote the letter A on my palm and showed it to him. Little did he know that I gave him a wrong answer on purpose. The fact that I gave him answer was enough for him to consider me as a friend and peer. I then dropped my pen, leaving it on the desk for a while as I tried to rub the ink off my hand. It took some time to completely disappear, and my hand became partially red in the process. Just as I removed every trace of ink, Carl whispered again, asking for another answer.
I didn’t give him anything. Instead, I shook my head. “What? How could you not know?” Carl whispered. I took my pen and wrote a message on my hand saying that I thought it might be D. I showed him my hand and then resumed answering my test. I had to keep sharing my answers with him in order to remain with the group. With my current position in the society, they were the only ones I could turn to. I then remembered a part in the Odyssey – the time when Odysseus chose to sail closer Scylla than the whirlpool Charybdis. The monster was only capable of taking some of his men, six men only (if I remembered correctly one of the answers I stole from Bailey) while the latter would’ve drowned the entire ship.
I then asked myself, Which among these problems is Scylla? I took a choice which made me regret it later, but I knew that the harm caused by choosing the other was far more extreme. I didn’t finish my test, and I automatically lost six points, limiting me to a score of seventy-four out of eighty. I blamed Carl for my loss, but I never had the guts to tell anyone, especially him, how I felt.
Depressed, I tried talking to Bailey to cheer me up a bit. “How’d you find the test?” I asked, knowing that academics and school-related activities were my only available topics with her.
“The last part was a killer! I forgot to multiply my final answer by two!” she said. “How about you? Easy time, right?” I nodded and then told her that I didn’t finish the test. “Aww, that’s okay,” she said. “You’d probably still be higher than me, assuming that my multiple choice answers have more errors than you do. Oh yeah…” I twitched an eyebrow and waited for her to finish. Before she continued what she was about to say, she commented, “Again with the eyebrows.”
“Well, that is how I usually react to stuff,” I replied with a little bit of laughter.
“Anyways,” she continued. “Sir Dan told me something… and I guess I’ll have to keep my eye on you next week.” With a taunting smirk, she waved bye to me and headed downstairs. And little did I know again that Carl was listening to our conversation.
When Bailey was gone from the scene, Carl appeared out of a sudden. “Does she have something to do with it?” he asked. I assumed that his question implied that he thought I had something for Bailey.
I took a small step backward, followed by a playful punch with his fist. As out knuckles collided, I said, “That has got to be the dumbest thing you ever said.” My conning seemed to have worked as Carl laughed at my reply. “Anyway, accompany me to the guardhouse. My ingredients are there. Hey, my over-protective mom suggested on delivering them.”
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