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Ciaran -> Praise for Stupidity (1/4/2009 2:10:30)
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Praise for Stupidity
Why do they want me to do this? It's a stupid and tyrannical decision. They want me to praise it?
She sighed from offstage.
I hate this government. I hate their decision. I hate that they asked me to do this. I HATE THE DAMN COLD!
A man motioned to her from the edge of the stage. "You're up, Krystal," he informed her.
"Thank you," Krystal responded. She stood and walked to the podium, hiding all traces of her dislike for her actions.
I hate this language, too.
She took a quick survey of her audience. A group of pale-skinned humans, young and old, male and female. In the front row were the politicians who had asked her here.
"Greetings to all, ladies and gentlemen, children and adults," she enunciated into the weird stick with a cushion on it that somehow amplified her voice. Must be some enchantment. "I am Krystal of Vivios. Most of you know me as a war hero of my nation. I have been called courageous, heroic, and the like, but I am none of these. I have only done what was necessary and what nobody else could do.
"Allow me to tell you something about myself you do not know. I am the Godcraft of Knowledge, a creation of Toreth. The leaders of Friastin know this and assume me to be an authority on all things. They asked me to come here to praise their decisions as of late."
She glanced at the politicians. Their smiles were just barely faded. She smiled widely. Let the satire begin.
"As you already know, your government recently passed a law banning the production and sale of fiction and art that contains violence. I believe this is a wondrous idea. Clearly, you, the adults of this nation, need to be treated like children because your government believes you are unable to think for yourselves.
"I come from a culture that you consider to be superior, mostly because we have a much lower crime rate, especially in the area of murder. I have read many of your fictional works in an attempt to understand your culture, and I have found that nearly every story that contains violence presents it in a way that condemns it as never being the correct path.
"I applaud the decision to make all stories happy and childish, in a fasion similar to your Barney the Polar Bear. In researching for this speech, I found that many former artists have filed for bankruptcy because theyc an no longer afford to live even modest lives. I appluad your leaders for forcing the closure of theaters because nobody will attend the childish plays they must now show. I applaud them for forcing artists to portray a view of reality is skewed and will likely never be true. Many a child will grow up to be naive and innocent, easily taken advantage of by others because they have no reason to believe bad things exist.
"I appluad them for taking away such staples of your culture as the legends of your own war heroes, the tales of Luke Starkiller, and the voyages of the Enterprise.
"Congratulations on dulling your culture to the point where nobody will want to study it, and to the point that your artists cannot show you the stupidity of your own actions through satire.
"All of this can and must be tolerated, however. Your safety is paramount, even overriding your freedom to choose how to spend your free time.
"I predict that this is but the first step toward a perfectly safe and moral society. Surely the next legislation will ban weapons, so that you must find ways to kill each other without buying a sword from the local blacksmith. Perhaps it will be to ban brothels, as this would reduce the spread of disease through carnal acts. Maybe gambling or sodomy is next, as your idle time must be restricted to ensure your safety. No chemical research, either, as the fumes can cause lethal explosions if mistakes are made."
She glanced over the crowd again, and saw exressions of outrage on her target audience, while the governor of Friastin was giving instructions to the head of the auditorium's security. Her smile widened even further.
"Congratulations on taking the first step. Your descendants will be glad that you made their world so safe.
"Now that you cannot produce interesting fiction, and your governors desire my arrest, I have no desire to stay. To you, the people of Friastin, fare well, and may you succeed in your ventures."
A momentary blink, and she was back home. She sat on her bed, looking back on her own words and the reaction of her crowd.
Now that I have planted the seeds of revolution, I can but hope the people succeed.
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