Blood Rose ~ Critism And Comments (Full Version)

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Sparker -> Blood Rose ~ Critism And Comments (1/5/2009 22:11:46)

My latest narrative. It is a Historical-Fiction story about a sharecropping family and a rich girl, owning the land of the sharecropping family. It actually has modern-day items, ideas, and technology. Theres a lot more I could say, but I don't want to spoil it. Unless you want me to. To see some information on characters, look down. There are a few spoilers, though.

Blood Rose ~ The Love and Hate Of Warfare

::Jamie::

Name : Jamie Osbourne
Gender : Male
Age : 14
Birthday : January 3
Likes :
~Shenelle Shipton
~Sushi
~Being Entertained
~Music - Especially Rock

::Shenelle::

Name : Shenelle Shipton
Gender : Female
Age : 14
Birthay : March 17
Likes :
~Jamie Osbourne
~Being Complimented
~Being Free (Away from her parents)
~Music - Especially Pop



Crimzon5 -> RE: Blood Rose ~ Critism And Comments (1/6/2009 1:01:16)

quote:

"Shenelle!" I missed you, where have you been?"

remove the bolded one

quote:

I asked, higging her dearly

higging or hugging?

quote:

rose from ehr

typo at 3 O' clock

quote:

Why, Thank you

change to lower case

Too short whether to say I liked it nor not though...
But as for the title...

spoiler:

blood rose... blood gem. Makes me think that someone will kill for love (Crime of Passion)



Sparker -> RE: Blood Rose ~ Critism And Comments (1/6/2009 18:53:42)

But thats only part one of one chapter :D So, Officialy it wont be that short later on.

Anyway, thanks, I'll change it soon!



Crimzon5 -> RE: Blood Rose ~ Critism And Comments (1/8/2009 5:15:55)

Okay then. Tell me when it's a bit or a lot longer [;)]



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