In Media Res -> 2009 Preview! (1/26/2009 22:54:35)
This Summer AdventureQuest's Year of Secrets began, and in 2009 the hole we dug ourselves will only get deeper...
«Scene: No Man's Land. An ogre moves through the tall grass and meets up with the Mutant King and Visia»
Servant: My Lord, My Lady, it is nearly ready my Lords.
Visia: Excellent. Soon, I... we... shall reshape all of Lore.
Mutant King: Good, so what do we do with him...
Visia: Eliminate him. He knows too much.
«The Mutant King strikes the ogre off the screen in one shot»
Visia: A tad messy, but effective.
«The scene zooms in on the Mutant King and Visia, while a shadow approaches them»
???: In my absence are you seeking to use him to your own ends? How...treacherous...
«Scene: Battleon Inn»
Yulgar: Something u... I see. I am not the smith for you. I have only ever known one smith mad enough to make what you desire, but... the cost might be quite high....
«You»: No cost is too high... *achoo* what do I need to *cough* gather.
«You»: Did you just say "socks"?
Hans: Oh no-- not HIM-- Yes, he just said "socks".
«Scene: The Rebuilt Temple of Hope»
«You»: But why is Gokar attacking?
King Tralin: The DrakelCube P has been sealed away for 9300 years by our ancient ancestors. Gokar's family was entrusted to protect it. It's loss is a serious blow to him.
«You»: 9300?!? But that's OVER 9000!!!
EXCITING NEW CLASSES!
Announcer: What? What do you mean we cannot use this section in the cutscene?
Announcer: Breaking the ND... We're breaking the fourth wall like the King of Trolls breaks bones, what's a little NDA?
Announcer: Oh fine, whatever. We will cut it out. But trust us folks! There will be exciting new classes in 2009!
«A dungeon holds 3 black, shadow-shrouded cats with red eyes. A shadow lies before them»
???: Excellent. I have captured almost all of them now. It's only a matter of time before my plans can proceed...
«You stand in Darkovia with Cenara and Dewlok, Nightbane's fortress in the background»
<<You>>: You can compel Loremaster Falerin's presence! How?!
Falerin: What is it you seek, friend? I trust you did not use the stone I gave you to summon so insistently to have tea and chat.
Dewlok: I fear not.
Falerin: *Sigh* Why is it never to have tea? What do you seek?
«Scene: Darkovia. You stand in front of an undead and Artix, who has a goatee and is wearing black armor with a black axe»
Artix: --and crush any resistance!
Minion: I will obey!
«The undead minion leaves»
«You»: You can't be Artix, Artix is a paladin who stands for good and light!
Artix: Don't make me ill.
«You»: And he... He kills undead! He certainly does not forcibly enslave good undead, especially those created with light based necromancy!
Artix: Well I do now.
«You»: Tell me the truth! Who are you??
Artix: You can't handle the truth!
«Galanoth and... Artix enter?!»
Artix: I am telling you! He looked just like you with your armor off and he was practicing DRACOMANCY!
Galanoth: You have been drinking too much root beer. The sugar has gone to your head and...
«Scene: Chat with Eldron»
«You»: Tornadoes? On the coast!? But it is bright and sunny!
Eldron: Precisely... I suspect it might actually be some strange method of transport. Perhaps you can investigate for me? Your skills are very well known and I am understandably quite busy.
«You»: That sounds risky!
Eldron: Incredibly. So will you go?
«Scene: The Fields»
Farmer MacDonald: The BURP are swarming again and the dragons are highly active. Some are saying...
Scout McKnight: What are they saying??
Farmer MacDonald: That just as war has returned, so the demipower of pestilence has returned...
Scout McKnight: Whoa... have you ever experienced Deja Vu?
Farmer MacDonald: Deja who??
Scout McKnight: No, I think that that's totally different.
«Scene: The Beach»
«You»: I am glad to be back home. That place was crazy. It was as if someone forced together as many strange references and puns as they could think of in one small region.
Eldron: Really? Now, WHO would do something silly like that?
IN JANUARY 2009, THE YEAR OF SECRETS WILL CONTINUE...
«Familiar laughter is heard while the words appear. You return to Battleon.»
Thanks to whackybeanz and Rhowena.